


Always

by BLW



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Ending Lexa Lives, Clexa, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Torture, Violence, eventual happy ending for clexa, non-au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2018-07-25 16:35:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 88,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7539946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BLW/pseuds/BLW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Does anyone else miss gorgeous badass Lexa?  This is an alternate pick up from The 100 episode 3x07 where Lexa not only lives, but takes control, gets things her way, and doesn’t take no for an answer.  Where Lexa is, well, where Lexa is Lexa.  And of course what would this be without Clarke too :)</p><p>A multi-chapter work on what may have been if Alycia remained on The 100.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Clarke Wakes From Her Dream of Lexa

 

 

Chapter 1: Clarke wakes from her dream of Lexa.

 

Clarke relives last night in her dream as if she were there in the flesh.

“When do you leave?”

She remembers the guilt smack her when she saw the disappointment in Lexa’s eyes.  Lexa knew full well that Clarke could not _choose_ to stay.

“Now.” Clarke responded with a soft voice hoping to ease the blow.

Her throat tight with disappointment, want, lust, and expectation, Lexa could not speak but simply nodded at Clarke’s response. 

Sensing her pain, Clarke stepped closer to Lexa.  She hesitated for a moment to admire her image.  Clarke had always found Lexa attractive, even from their first meeting.  But this Lexa, standing there with no armor, hair free flowing over her shoulder and nervously entwined between her fingers, this Lexa standing in the sunset’s halo, was different. 

“I’m sorry.” Clarke tried to ease the disappointment she could feel radiating from Lexa’s whole being. 

“Don’t be.” Lexa responded almost rehearsed.  Although it hadn’t been a long time, Lexa understood Clarke more than most.  She anticipated Clarke’s need to leave Polis and had tried as best as she could to prepare for this moment.

“You have to go back.  They’re your people.”  It was something Lexa could relate to on so many levels.  Complete personal sacrifice, duty, responsibility, an undermining gravitational force that seemed to continually pull her from anything she…well anything she loved.

“That’s why I…” Lexa swallowed.  She hadn’t rehearsed sharing this with Clarke.  She stopped herself from revealing the full truth of her thoughts and continued, “That’s why you’re you.” 

Lexa swallowed hard and nodded to Clarke as if to confirm what Clarke read into her statement. 

Clarke felt a strong need to comfort Lexa.  Lexa was always so strong physically, mentally, and emotionally.  This was a piece of Lexa that Clarke was less familiar with.  She sensed her presence deep down and knew this part of Lexa existed, but never had she seen this vulnerability surface as it had here in the midst of their goodbye.

“Maybe someday you and I will owe nothing more to our people.”  Clarke proposed the fairy tale line. 

“I hope so.”  Lexa smiled ever so slightly with her lips, but her eyes knew the unlikelihood of the realization.  Stuck with the reality of Clarke’s choice and knowing what must be done next, Lexa concludes with a delicate but formal extension of her arm.

“May we meet again?”  Holding back a sheer flood of emotion she reaches for Clarke to meet her arm.

Clarke meets Lexa’s arm and holds for a delayed moment.  Both knew this was possibly their last moment together.  Both knew that things going forward would be different, but neither knew exactly in what way.  A heavy cloud of tension lay between them.  The humidity evident in both sets of moistening eyes.  Unable to contain it for a second longer, Clarke steps forward again, closing the gap between them. 

With her dominant hand she displays a dominant but gentle touch to Lexa’s face, leveraging herself closer to connect their lips. An immediate electrical release emits from both as they give into their desire and kiss passionately.  Lexa pulls away briefly, tears cascading down her defined and delicate cheek.  She looks into Clarke’s eyes and sees the raw emotion evident in Clarke’s own tears.  Letting loose Lexa responds with a kiss of her own, heavy and breathy and sexy.

The sound, the feel, the warmth of Lexa’s breath encasing Clarke gives her confidence and initiative.  Clarke skillfully reaches behind Lexa’s neck, sliding her thumbs on their approach resulting in a slight moan from Lexa.  She makes quick to release Lexa’s neck strap.  The silky material falls to reveal Lexa’s neck.  Her golden skin shimmered in the sunset and Clarke smiled slightly with pride and satisfaction. 

Lexa has wanted Clarke since before Mount Weather, but has always respected Clarke’s needs and pace.  She knew now that their time in this moment was limited and that Clarke was ready.  Lexa backs into her bed, breaking their kiss in order to sit down while maintaining contact with Clarke’s hand.  She looks into Clarke’s eyes with desperation, lust, desire, hope, and anticipation.  Lexa’s eyes stalk Clarke’s lips before returning to her cyanic ocean blues again.  She pleads with her eyes and Clarke can feel the love penetrating her soul. 

Clarke takes a moment to gaze at Lexa.  She is beyond beautiful.  Clarke feels a bolt ignite at her core.  She is ready and she gives in.  And why not?  She is facing a potential war within a hostile home in a post-apocalyptic environment.  She has a brief moment in time before reality must be realized.  But right now, in this moment, a beautiful, soft, vulnerable woman needs her and Clarke wants nothing more than to satisfy Lexa. 

Lexa pulls Clarke down on top of her rejoining their lips who waited in agony.  Clarke follows willingly, wantonly.  Her hands quickly work to explore and navigate every contour of Lexa who is reciprocating on cue.   Clarke relishes the taste on her lips, the breath on her neck and the sounds flooding her ears. 

…

 

“Clarke!  Oh, Clarke, Clarrrrr-ke.”

Clarke feels her face moisten and warm as Lexa is unable to contain her release.  Her eyes meet Lexa’s.  She notices the tears now replaced with dilated pupils.  It makes the emerald deepen and Clarke can’t help but smile at her.  Lexa returns the smile with a devilish grin of satisfaction.  And then she hears it again. 

“Clarke! Clarrrr-ke.”

Clarke’s eyebrows furrow as Lexa is not speaking.  A shrill passes down Clarke’s spine as she hears it again.

“The fuck is that?” She asks herself, shaking her head. 

Then she feels the throbbing in the back of her head.  Lexa is gone except for a faint taste remaining on Clarke’s lips.  There are no warm furs surrounding her and the sweet amber aroma she has grown fond of is replaced with a harsh mildew suffocating her.  She feels cold and damp.  She recognizes nothing in this dank place until a familiar voice is calling her name.

“Clarke, wake up, Clarke.”  Abby gently nudges Clarke’s shoulder as she sits up. 

“Mom.  Wha…what’s happening.”  Clarke’s eyes adjust to the dimly lit cell.  She looks around and sees what looks to be a jail cell.  Her mother is with her and tending to the throb on the back of her head. 

“I don’t know what happened Clarke.  Riders came for me at Arcadia and said your health was in jeopardy.  I was gone before asking any questions.  When I got here, I was escorted to you.  We are locked in here.” 

Both women glance around their surroundings trying to make out where they were and what was happening.  The cell was small, spanning about 200 square feet.  There were two cots, one of which Clarke was sitting on and the other on the opposite side of the room.  A small table sit next to them upon which cloth, a bowl of water, and Abby’s med kit sat.  There were a few candles throughout their space providing their only light.  That’s when Clarke made out the shadow of another figure. 

“Mom.”  Clarke nudges in the direction of the figure. 

The shadow walks out of the darkness and approaches them slowly.  It stops short of the bars.  In fact, Clarke can see that the shadow is trapped behind its own bars.  Someone else is trapped down here in a cell of their own.  Clarke gets up to walk towards the figure. 

“Who is that?  Why are you here?  Why are we here?  Where is Lexa?” Clarke shouts out in frustration as Abby tries to ease her back to the cot.

She reaches the edge of the cell and reaches out to grab the bars.  They are a cold, damp, metallic barrier keeping her from detecting the shadow.  But then he reveals himself.  Clarke is even more puzzled.

“Titus?!”

 

 


	2. WTF

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke wakes behind bars with an injury. Her fear and frustration grow as she doesn’t know why she is there nor the fate of Lexa.

“Titus!?  Titus is that you?”  Clarke barks loudly to the timid shadow staring back at her through double bars.  He does not respond other than to wince his eyes as if the sound of her voice inflicts heavy blows.

“Titus, why are we down here?”  She assumes they are down due to the dark environment and musty smell. But, really they could be anywhere.  She has no memory of getting here. 

“Where is Lexa?”  Again no response from Titus and the frustration in Clarke’s voice exponentiates.  

“Look, I know you hate me you bastard, but you better tell me what the hell is going on!”  Clarke asserts herself as if she still possessed the power and protection she did while by Heda’s side. 

As Titus rolls his eyes in response, the reality of her situation crashes upon her.  Heda is not by her side.  She has no power.  She is locked in a cell with Lexa nowhere to be found.  There is no way this could have happened in Polis with Lexa knowing about it.  Unless, Clarke can’t bring herself to even consider the possibility that something has happened to Lexa.  She swallows hard and dry as fear splits her insides.  All she can feel is her head and heart pounding.  All she can hear is the pace of her breathing, steadily increasing. 

“Clarke, sit down honey.  You need to relax before you make yourself pass out.”  Abby warns as she sees her daughter slipping into a panic attack.  She guides Clarke back to the cot where she woke minutes before.  Clarke finds her mother’s eyes and together they begin to slow her breathing. 

Minutes go by, but to Clarke it feels like an immeasurable about of time.  Abby sits next to Clarke. 

“Honey, I know you are confused and angry.  I am confused and angry myself,” Abby reveals with a piercing look on her face.  “But, right now I need to look at your head.  You must have been hit with a blunt object and you are going to need some stiches.”

Clarke reaches up to feel the back of her head.  Dried blood cracks in the hair surrounding her wound.  She has no memory of how this happened.  It must have been a surprise attack from behind.  She inhales sharply as Abby rinses away the blood with water and alcohol.  Pulling aside her daughter’s hair reveals a deep gash.

“Now Clarke, I am going to need you to sit very still.  I don’t have any anesthetic and the lighting in here is absolute shit!”  Abby wipes Clarke’s wound dry with a towel she carries in her medicine bag.    Clarke wraps her fingers against the underside of the cot preparing herself for the pain she knows is coming.  An initial prick is followed by a deep sting, her head cracks as her mother begins the stiches.  Clarke winces away in pain. 

“I’m so sorry honey, but I really need you to try to keep still so I can get a good stitch,” Abby warns as she places a soothing hand on Clarke’s shoulder.  The next stitch doesn’t have the same feeling, it is as if her head went a little numb on its own.  Instead Clarke feels a deep throb she is sure will rival any hangover she has ever experienced.  She grabs tightly to her cot and clenches her teeth together.  While tense her thoughts drift back to her current situation.  She needs to know what happened, who did this to her, and how the hell she got into this situation to begin with.  Her thoughts are just enough to distract her from Abby’s stitching. 

“Ok Clarke it looks like we are done.  I am going to leave this open to air dry for a little while before we bandage you up.”  Abby takes a deep sigh as she rinses and returns her medical equipment to her bag.  She sits down on the cot next to Clarke and stares at the ceiling. 

“Mom, what happened?  How did you get here?” Clarke pleaded to her mother with glistening eyes.  The stress and pain rushes into her and she begins to cry.  Abby leans into Clarke to comfort her careful not her bump her wound. 

“Like I said honey, two grounders showed up at Arkadia telling me your health was in danger and asked that I come at once.  I grabbed my med bag and left.  I tried to ask what happened, but all the riders could tell me is that you had a head wound and I would be the best option to heal it.  When I got here, they ushered me directly here where you were unconscious on the cot.  We are still in Polis.  This is some dungeon type place in the Commander’s tower.”

“The Commander’s tower,” Clarke interrupted.  “Did you see Lexa?  She must be near somewhere.”  Clarke seemed desperate for an answer about the fate of Lexa. 

“Sorry honey.  I did not see her.  I am sure if she is able she will come to you.  I’m just not sure why they have us locked in here to begin with.”  Abby reveals that she truly doesn’t know much more about their current situation than Clarke does.

Clarke wants to shake the bars of her cell and scream for Lexa.  She wants to demand to see whomever put her in here, whomever attacked and injured her.  She wants answers and she wants them now.  She stands and takes a step towards the bars, but sits right back down.  She grips her head attempting to ease the pounding. 

“Clarke that is really quite a bad cut you have there.  It took me almost 20 stitches to close you up.  Please, try to stay calm and get some rest.  We will deal with this when you are not in so much pain.” 

What Abby doesn’t know is that the pain in Clarke’s gut was worse than the pounding in her head.  Not knowing where Lexa is and if she is okay is making her absolutely sick.  All she can think about is their last moments together.  Clarke inhales deeply and replays what she can remember just before leaving Lexa’s room.

***

A masterpiece of artwork consumed Lexa’s back for Clarke to admire.  She smiles as she traces her finger gently down Lexa’s skin.  It is warm to the touch and ignites a series of goose bumps.  Her hand slowly drifts up Lexa’s back until it reaches her neck.  Clarke gently brushes her hair to one side exposing her tattoo tracing it softly over and over. 

She slides closer to Lexa so that her bare chest is pressed to Lexa’s bare back.  She wraps her arms around Lexa, one lays loosely around her waist and the other falls between her breasts.  Clarke breathes in deeply through Lexa’s hair and relishes the scent.  She wants to stay here in this moment for ever.  She wants to drown in Lexa.  Lexa releases a quiet moan at her touch and Clarke closes her eyes in love.  They lay there together, unaware of where one’s limbs stop and the other’s starts.  “This is what life should be about”, she remembers thinking to herself. 

It takes every ounce of will power to muster up the strength to break away from their embrace.  Planting a long, delayed kiss on Lexa’s neck, Clarke whispers, “Remember me.  Remember this.” 

Lexa rolls over once freed from Clarke’s arms, “Always.” She reaches closer and gently kisses Clarke on the lips. 

Breaking away Clarke smiles at Lexa, then begins to dress herself.  Lexa watches her every move, never looking away, never breaking her smile.  When Clarke was finished dressing she sat on the side of Lexa’s bed to tie her boots.  Lexa moved to the side of the bed and wrapped her arms around Clarke’s waste.  She sighs deeply.  Lexa wants to hold her there, to pin her there so she cannot leave.  She wants to tell Clarke how important she is to her, that she is a game changer and that she is willing to change the game for her.  She already has, but is willing to do more.  She wants to protect her from every danger, from enemies, from her own people and maybe a little from Clarke herself.  She can be very risky, but then again that is part of what makes her Clarke. 

Before Lexa can say anything Clarke stands up maintaining contact with Lexa’s hands.  She pulls them in and plants a soft kiss.  A tear falls and Lexa can feel her hand moisten.  Lexa closes her eyes and before she can open them Clarke has let go.  She has turned her back and walked away.  Lexa thought she had more time.  She thought she would say something more, not just leave.  Not while her eyes were closed and she missed her last chance to memorize her face. 

Lexa hears the click of her door closing and jumps out of bed, throwing her clothes back on.  She has to stop her, she has to tell her how she feels and then maybe Clarke will change her mind.  She rushes to the bedroom door.  Before she can open the door she hears commotion outside and a familiar voice. 

Clarke had left quickly because she couldn’t handle the sting.  She didn’t want to let herself give in and knew she couldn’t last a second longer.  She walked away from Lexa before Lexa could make her change her mind.  She did not turn back because she knew if she did, she would never return to Arkadia.  She got to Lexa’s door, opened it and walked out without hesitation. 

She could remember shutting the door behind her and turning to walk down the hallway.  She could remember seeing the sunset in the horizon and resenting not being able to share that moment with Lexa.  That’s it.  That’s the last she could recall, the sunset and a thought of Lexa.  Now she has woken up imprisoned with a gash on her head.  More frustrated and disappointed, Clarke sets her head into her hands prepared to concede in defeat; she is at an absolute loss. 

“Reshop, Niron.” 

Clarke believes she is making it up in her spinning head, but she pulls her head out of her hands and looks past the bars of her cell.  Lexa stands, both hands gripping the bars between them.  She is not in her own cell, but is on the outside looking in on Clarke.  Clarke can feel the relief upon seeing Lexa alive and in what seems to be good health.  Before Abby even recognizes what is going on, Clarke is on the bars clenching at Lexa’s hands.

 


	3. The Reunion, the Betrayal and the Consequence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke confronts Lexa about what has happened and Lexa can only briefly begin to explain. Meanwhile Titus has to face his consequence for his betrayal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is darker. Be prepared for some violence.

“Lexa,” Clarke pleads that the image in front of her is real and not her spinning imagination.  Lexa offers a small smile upon feeling Clarke’s relief in learning that she is alive and well. 

“You’re okay?” Clarke askes to confirm.  Lexa swallows hard, forcing her nerves down, and nods back to confirm.  Clarke immediately babbles dozens of questions and half thoughts.  “What’s going on?  Why am I locked in here?  How did my mom get here?  Who the hell hit my head?  Why does that ugly fucker keep staring at me like I did something wrong? Why…”

“Shhhh.” Lexa whispers to Clarke while rubbing her thumb against the back of Clarke’s hand.  “Clarke, look at me.”  Clarke has tears filling her eyes and Lexa’s heart aches to hold her in her arms to comfort her. 

“I promise you all of your questions will be answered in detail.  But, right now, I only have a few minutes.  I needed to see you.  I needed to make sure Abby was able to help with your head.  How is it?”  Lexa reaches through the bars, brushing Clarke’s hair behind her ear.

“It hurts like hell.  What happened?  Who hit me?”  Clarke asks pleadingly in a faint voice.

“Listen, someone has betrayed me and attempted to kill you.  Things have changed.  No one can be trusted until the issue with our people has been resolved.  I cannot allow you to travel back to Arkadia, it is not safe for you anywhere.”  Lexa quickly attempts to explain what has gone on.

“Wait,” Clarke releases the bars and in effect breaks contact with Lexa.  “You mean, you put me in here?”  Clarke’s eyes conform from sadness to anger. 

Lexa breaks eye contact with Clarke, looking to the ground for a moment.  “You are not my prisoner, Clarke.  But, I have to make my people believe that you are so that they will not attempt to hurt you again.”  Lexa hopes Clarke can somehow understand.

“Your people?  Your people did this to me?”  Clarke’s anger continues to mount.

“I know this is not enough of an explanation, but I have to meet with the war council.  And,” glancing at Titus’s cell, “I have an issue to confront.”  Lexa knows this is not going to be enough for Clarke.  She wonders if she should have waited until later to see her at all.

“Lexa, please let me out.  I can help you.”  Clarke pleads looking into Lexa’s eyes. 

“I can’t do that.  This is the only place that is safe for you right now.”  Lexa says with a cold tone knowing her words will displease Clarke.  “But, I will be back as soon as I can and will answer every question that you have.”

“That is bull shit.”  Abby pipes up from the other side of the cell.  She has been holding her tongue waiting for an explanation and is overtly unsatisfied with Lexa’s 5 minute update. 

“Clarke has 20 stitches in her head and no pain killers.  In this nasty place she may need some antibiotics too.”  Abby demands that Lexa make Clarke’s health a priority.  “I was asked to come treat my daughter and of course I came, but I am expected back at Arkadia.  My people will need me to sort things out and to lead the take back of power from Pike.” 

“I will see to it that my healer brings Clarke our equivalent of what you request.  More than anything, Clarke will need her mother.  I cannot allow you to leave either.  You are both in danger until the situation has been resolved.”  Lexa says stoically, knowing neither will appreciate their circumstance. 

“Excuse me,” Abby says shocked at Lexa’s demands.  “I am the best chance you have at getting Pike to back down in order for new order to be established.” 

“I am on my way to meet with the war council now.  We will discuss our approach at obtaining Pike. Either way, you are safer here than anywhere near Pike or Arkadia.”  Lexa looks at Clarke, “I’m sorry.  I will fix this.”  She says softly as if trying to soothe the blow she just dealt.   “Always.”  She ends by repeating her response from earlier that evening, hoping Clarke could reconnect with the moment they shared just hours before.  Then she turns and is gone as quickly as she came.

Clarke sits back down on the cot, staring into space completely defeated and torn.  On one hand she is relieved that Lexa is safe.  She would have given anything to ensure her safety and her prayer has been answered.  On the other hand, it appears she is now Lexa’s fake prisoner.  These bars and environment are not fake though and the toll this will take on Clarke’s feelings for Lexa are unknown. 

Abby wants to bitch about Lexa in the worst way.  She wants to complain about their treatment, their environment, their predicament.  But, she knows that Clarke is in pain and overwhelmed.  She concedes her thoughts for the moment and instead sits down next to Clarke. 

“All we can do right now is try to heal you and wait for answers.”

Clarke rests her head on Abby’s shoulder, somehow she finds a way to relax.

***

A short time later, one of Lexa’s armed guards removes Titus from his cell.  No words are exchanged.  Titus knew he was coming for him.  On his way out of the cell and out of sight, Clarke could see him staring at her again.  His eyes were less angry, and more pleading.  He was afraid of what lies ahead. 

He is escorted up a winding staircase that seemed to be endless.  It was dark except for a periodic candle on the wall, one for each complete turn in the cycle.  At the top of the staircase was an entrance to a hallway.  A right turn would take him to the gathering hall, where many ambassadors were beginning to arrive and talk.  A left turn though, this would take him to a different place.  A place where darkness lives, a place where he has escorted others, a place the Commander has used to torture and kill prisoners. 

The guard pauses at the top of the stairs and looks at Titus expressionless.  They turn left.  Titus’s heart skips a beat as he inhales deeply.  He is taken to the last room in the hallway.  The door is opened and he is shoved to the ground in the room.  “Wait here for the Commander.”  The guard orders in a deep threatening voice. 

Titus remains on his knees, mind racing with thoughts, emotions, regrets, convictions.  It was only minutes before Lexa barged into the room.  She shut and locked the door behind her.  She remained silent, staring at Titus.  He stood and faced her.

“Heda,” his words failing him as he tried to construct any clear thought to convey to her.  “I, I, I ….”  He breaks eye contact and looks to the ground.  He falls to his knees before her and says, “Heda, I have betrayed you.  I deserve death by your hand as my fate.”

“Yes you do.” She says with complete honesty. 

Titus exhales preparing himself for a death blow. 

“But, what good will that do for me?” Lexa looks down to Titus.  “Death would be too easy for you, Titus.”  Lexa explains emotionless.  “When Gutus betrayed me, I had no choice but to kill him.  His betrayal was witnessed by everyone, but no one knows what you did.  No one other than me.  I am going to offer you a choice.  I can kill you right now and be forced into training a new flame keeper.  It would be untimely, but very doable.  Or, you can keep your life and live out the rest of your days as Clarke’s personal guard.” 

Titus seems absolutely stunned at Lexa’s ultimatum.  He had just tried to kill Clarke in order to protect Lexa, and now she wants him to protect her with his life? 

“You see, you did what you thought needed to be done in order to protect me, but what you didn’t realize is that Clarke is a part of me.  The most vulnerable part.  She is the part that needs the most protection.  I intend for our lives to be entwined, and I will not survive if she does not survive.” 

“No, Heda.  You.”  Titus is interrupted as he comprehends Lexa’s message.

“Did I say you could speak?” Lexa spits venom at Titus.  She continues, “If you want to devote your life to my protection you will swear to me now before your own otherwise death, that you will protect Clarke with your life.  If not, I will end this now.”  Lexa clenches her jaws drawing her knife. 

“Heda, I will always live to protect you.”  Titus pleading bowing his head.  “And if it is your will, I will then devote my life to protecting Clarke.”  His words are a relief to him and Lexa.  He finally accepts that Lexa will not, cannot, let Clarke go and in turn protecting Clarke is the best way to protect Lexa.  It is a relief for Lexa as well, for she would most certainly have killed Titus, but prefers for Clarke to have protection. 

“That is your choice then?” Lexa confirms.  Titus stands and bows his confirmation.  He begins to step towards the door.  “Wait.”  Lexa commands.  “You didn’t think you were getting away with this without punishment did you?” Lexa snarls, teeth clenched.  The fear in Titus’s eyes is obvious. 

“Of course not, Heda.”  He responded regimentally. 

“You tried to kill Clarke.  You tried to take what is most dear to me and for that you will suffer.  Your attack left her head cut open.  I was told it took 20 stitches to close it.  There was no medicine for pain, but you can appreciate that feeling, right Titus?” 

Titus rolls his hands into a fist preparing for whatever may come next.

“Take off your shirt.” Lexa commands as she tests the sharpness of her blade, drawing her own blood out of her finger tip.  “Put your hands above your head, and do not move a muscle.”  She licks her finger cleaning away her blood. 

Lexa pushed Titus so that his back is to the wall, arms up and chest exposed. 

“20 stitches it took.”  She slowly slices his skin from his right breast down to his left hip.  He grimaces in pain, but does not move.  She removes her blade from his skin only to repeat the motion slightly higher following the same line.  “Two.”  She says while digging slightly deeper. 

Going higher and higher again, “Three, four.”  She continues to edge slashes into his skin until she has made 10 marks each one a parallel line of the original.  Red blood runs like a rippled waterfall, exiting each cut only to return to the one just below, eventually making its way into the rain dripping to the floor.  Returning to the first cut she made she digs deeper into the initial wound, “Are you still with me, Titus?” 

Titus makes eye contact with her just as she lowers her blade to once again cut parallel lines, chest to hip, only these lines now trace the lower half of his abdomen.  “Eleven.” Lexa continues her count of justice.  “Twelve.”  She continues and drags out the words “Thirt–e-e-n, fourt-e-e-n.”  Her cut is deeper as her voice slows. 

Titus, stumbles, but recovers pulling his arms back above his head. 

“Twenty.” Lexa stops and waits for Titus to make eye contact.  The pain in Titus’s eyes is obvious, but he stands with dedication and determination.  His face shows some relief believing Lexa has completed her revenge.  “These were for Clarke.  This,” She moves her blade to his upper left breast and strikes deeply cutting perpendicular through all of the other cuts.  “This one is for me.”  She continues the slice contacting each of the 20 original cuts until she reaches his hip.  The pain of this final cut is compounded as it connects with each earlier wound.  Titus stumbles again, falling to one knee.    

“We are done.  Should you ever forget or consider failing your duty again, know that I will use my sword on every X we have created here.”  Lexa threatened shoving her finger into each crossing, 20 in total. 

Titus lowers his arms, barely able to stand.  “Never again Heda.”  She believes him. 

“Guard.”  Lexa calls for the guard to return from waiting in the hallway.  “Take him back to the cells.  He is to go into the same cell as Clarke and Abby.  Please move his cot to join them.”  The guard moves without hesitation.  He practically carries the now passing out Titus out of her sight. 

She wipes the blood from her blade and returns it to her side.  She stands erect with hands behind her back and inhales deeply, “Jus drein, jus Daun.”  She talks herself back to calm composure, turns and leaves the room. 

 

 


	4. Lexa takes control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abby helps Titus while Lexa leads the war council. Clarke waits for answers.

It has been only 30 minutes or so when Clarke can hear footsteps approaching the cells.  She assumed the war council would have taken Lexa longer, but is excited that this misery may soon be ending.  As the two figures approach, she is disappointed to see a guard carrying Titus and no sign of Lexa.

“Mom,” Clarke shakes Abby to wake her from her sleep.  “They are bringing Titus back, he can’t walk.”  Abby jumps up and joins Clarke in their gawk.  They are both surprised when the guard opens their cell door instead of the one Titus had previously been held in.

“Excuse me, Wanheda.” The guard politely speaks to Clarke, and she begins to feel that perhaps she is somehow still seen as part of Lexa.  “Heda has asked that Titus remain in your cell.  He also requires the care of your healer.”  The guard looks to Abby directly as he lays Titus’s now unconscious body onto her cot.  “I will bring another cot so you may all have a place to sleep.  If you require anything else, please let me know.”

Clarke and Abby both look to the body lying next to them.  Titus wears the white shirt he left in, but the front is entirely soaked in blood.  There are no holes in the shirt, so Abby and Clarke are unclear as to what could have possibly happened.  “Clarke, help me get his shirt off.”  Clarke hesitates for a second.  She knows how much Titus hates her and she sort of resented helping him.  “Clarke.” Abby shouts, her voice sounding angry and a little desperate. 

Clarke grabbed the scissors out of Abby’s med kit and started to cut his shirt at both shoulders.  She slowly pulls down the shirt.  It sticks a little to his wounds as she pulls, and has to tug a bit harder to detach it from his skin.  The sudden movement and clear induced pain, causes Titus to wake.

 “Titus, I’m sorry.” Clarke instinctively responds.  “What happened to you?”  Clarke pulls away the last of his shirt to reveal the mutilation on his chest.  Titus does not respond, but quickly slips back into unconsciousness. 

Abby begins cleaning his wounds and instructs Clarke to fetch more cloth, water and alcohol.  “Clarke, this was no accident.  These cuts are methodically organized.  Look at them.”  Clarke’s eyes survey his chest.  Unknowingly she counts the gashes across his chest. 

“What does this mean?  There are 20 cuts going this way and one going the other.”  Clarke slows her words as she considers who may have done this.  “20 cuts, mom, you told Lexa you gave me 20 stitches, right?”  Clarke continues to piece the puzzle together.  “I think so,” Abby answers, while starting to make stitches across the wounds on Titus’s chest. 

“He’s lucky he is out for this.”  Abby adds as she continues to clean and stitch.  Clarke suddenly feels sick to her stomach.  “Did Lexa do this?” She asks rhetorically.  Abby pauses briefly looking at Clarke.  She does not reply, but her gaze implies she believes it to be fully possible.  After all, this would really only prove Lexa to be more like her savage initial impression. 

Amongst their exchange Titus opened his eyes.  “Yes, Wanheda.”  Titus answers Clarke’s previous question.  “Heda has given me a great gift.” 

“Gift?” Clarke responded louder than she intended to.  “How is that a gift?” While asking Titus, she also asked herself why Lexa would want to hurt Titus.  Clarke remembers that Lexa told her she was betrayed and that someone tried to kill her.  Finally putting the pieces together Clarke accuses Titus.  “It was you.  You tried to kill me.”  Abby stops her mending to wait for Titus to respond.   

“Heda has given me new vision.”  Titus dodges the question, but begins to explain.  “I swore an oath to protect Lexa with my life, no matter what the danger.”  Titus looks directly into Clarke’s eyes.  “Clarke, your relationship with Lexa puts you both in danger.  It is true, I thought removing you from the situation would make Lexa safer.” 

Clarke freezes, starring at Titus, unsure if she will strangle him or cry for him.  Abby turns to Clarke and asks her, “What relationship, Clarke?”  Clarke remains silent waiting for more explanation.

“I waited for you to leave Heda’s bedroom.  I knew that I had to act quickly because I believed she would have summoned you sooner rather than later.”  Abby furrows her eye brows as she looks to Clarke for confirmation.  She believed Clarke was in Polis against her own desire as an ambassador doing what is best for her people.  She begins to wonder how much Clarke really wanted to come back to Arkadia at all.  Clarke ignores Abby.

“Go on.” She orders Titus to finish his story.

“I stole one of Skaikru’s weapons knowing a hand to hand battle with you would draw too much attention.  I struck you as you as you left Heda’s room.  I tried to explain to you that I was doing this to protect Heda, but you were unconscious.  I aimed the weapon at you and pulled the trigger.  Nothing happened.”

“There is a safety you idiot.” Clarke spouts with anger in her veins. 

“Then Heda was there, standing above us.  She knew what had happened.  I expected that she would kill me on the spot, but instead she ordered me to carry you here.  I did obediently.  Then I was locked beside you.”

“Who else saw what happened?” Abby interjects.

“No one knows of this but us, and Heda.” Titus replies. 

“What about the riders that brought me here?”  Abby inquires.

“They only know that Clarke was injured, but not how or by whom.”  Titus explains.

“So she let you live, but then she came back to mutilate you?”  Clarke asks.  “And why are you even telling us this?  Don’t you hate my guts?”

Titus continues his explanation.  “As I said, Heda has given me new vision.  She gave me life when I deserved death.  But,” Titus looks directly into Clarke’s eyes and attempts to sit up.  He falls back and tries a second time. 

“Titus, don’t sit up it puts too much strain on your wounds.” Abby instructs.

“But my new life and new vision is to protect Lexa where she is most vulnerable.  I have sworn to protect you, Clarke, with my life.  Lexa sees you as an extension of herself, and she demands that my services now focus on that part of her.” 

Clarke backs up to her cot and sits down.  She doesn’t know what to feel.  Here is this asshole that tried to kill her committing to protect her with his life.  And Lexa, Lexa saw Clarke as extension of herself.  Clarke is both melting and angry.  She is an extension of Lexa and Lexa of her, but she resents the fact that Lexa thinks she is vulnerable and in need of protection. 

Clarke looks up at Titus, “What if I reject your protection?”

Titus smiles, knowing there is no rejecting Heda’s orders.  “You will have to take that up with Heda.” He replies.  “Until then, I will be your shadow of protection.”

“How do we know you won’t just try to kill us in our sleep?”  Abby accuses Titus.

Again smiling, Titus responds, “Heda took it easy on me today.  If I were ever implicated in anyway or even if I did not die trying to protect Clarke, I would not want to face her wrath.”  Both women looked at each other.  Knowing what little they knew of Lexa, they both immediately believed him.

Abby continued mending Titus’s wounds while Clarke remain sitting on the cot, waiting for her extension to return.

***

Lexa takes her place on her wooden throne, surrounded by ambassadors from each of the 12 clans.  They remain kneeling while she situates herself.  “Please, stand and join me in further discussing the fate of Skaikru.”

The ambassadors immediately turn to one another confused.  They had only just talked about this circumstance a day ago and didn’t understand why they were summoned yet again. 

“Excuse me, Heda,” an ambassador questions quietly and full of fear, “Didn’t you just propose a blockade and kill order for Skaikru.  We expect them to take out their leadership and then rejoin our alliance.” 

Lexa stands to address her subjects more directly.  “Yes, that was what was discussed just yesterday. But, since then, it has come to my attention that members of Skaikru seek to kill Wanheda.”  Though she knows this is a slight lie, she believes it to be a very real possibility and goes with it.  “We cannot allow the power of Wanheda to fall into the current leadership’s hands.”  Lexa starts to walk around looking each member in the eye, daring one to protest her.  “For this reason, I have made Wanheda our prisoner of war until Skaikru’s leadership can be reconstructed.” 

“If Wanheda is outside the walls of Arkadia, she should be subject to the kill order you proposed, Heda.”  The ambassador from Azgeda looks directly at Lexa, his tone challenging. 

“Wanheda is our prisoner of war.  She will be of great importance and power in restructuring the 13th clan.  She is not subject to the kill order.”  Lexa looks to each ambassador to be certain all are clear of her wishes. 

“Heda, if I may ask…” yet another ambassador questions Lexa, “Why do we need the 13th clan at all?  Wouldn’t it be easier to just wipe them out completely and end this nonsense?”  Lexa turns and walks directly in front of him.  His eyes hit the floor as he bows his head in respect and fear.

Lexa reaches into her cloak and pulls out the gun that Titus had assaulted Clarke with.  She aims it directly at the ambassador’s head.  He is still averting his eyes and only looks when he hears other’s gasp.  All had heard the stories and seen the bodies of those killed by such weapons.    

“Who here can tell me what this is?  How it works?  How it doesn’t work?”  Lexa looks around the room, pointing the gun from one ambassador to the next.  “Hundreds of our people were killed with this very type of weapon without even getting their swords out of their sheaths.”  Lexa continues her monologue.

“It is true, we could kill every last member of Skaikru and then destroy all of these types of weapons.  But, I ask you, if Skaikru can create and use a device like this used for evil, what other devices can they create and use for good?”  Lexa pauses to gauge the reaction of her leaders.  She can tell she has their attention.

“We have been living our lives barely surviving from generation to generation.  Skaikru brings with them knowledge of a new way, a way that does not only have these devices of evil,” she swings the gun around to each member again, “but a way that can provide health, safety and comfort for all in our alliance and for our generations to come.”  Lexa walks back to her wooden throne and sits again.  She pauses for a moment to allow her message to sink in and then looks to her ambassadors.

“We will march on Arkadia at sunrise.  I will personally demand the surrender of the one they call Pike and see to it that any existing member that does not believe in the 13th clan be imprisoned and eventually killed.  I will also see to it that those members in favor of the 13th clan be the ones to carry out the executions, thus solidifying their loyalty to our alliance.”

Most members seem satisfied with the updated plan.  A few linger with quiet complains amongst each other. 

“What if Wanheda gets out and warns them?  They could plan yet another attack on us.  We could lose even more of our soldiers.  I bet Wanheda isn’t even in a cell.  She is probably in Heda’s bed.”  Comments fly from various directions as the ambassadors make known their opinions. 

“Ambassador.”  Lexa peers into the eyes of the ambassador from Azgeda.  “You have concerns about the whereabouts of Wanheda?  You believe you can talk freely about what is or is not in my bed!”  The anger in Lexa is boiling.  The stress from the events of the day have concentrated into a fit of rage.

She slaps him across the face sending a cracking sound throughout the meeting hall and chills down the backs of all in attendance.  She continues to berate him, “There is nothing in my bed, for I am here with you, trying to make peace and a better life for our people.”  She adds, “Wanheda is indeed in a cell, both for ours and her own security.”

The ambassador from Azgeda seems less than impressed with her explanation.  In his defense, the tone and ambiance given off by both Clarke and Lexa over the past few weeks have all but confirmed his suspensions.  He turns his back to walk away, but can’t help himself in saying one more comment.  “Perhaps you are just afraid Wanheda’s head will find its way to your pillow.  We hear in Azgeda you may have a thing for that.”  His voice was low, but Lexa could hear his every word. 

The other ambassadors surrounding him strayed away in fear of how Heda would respond.  As they should, for without even a word, she pulls her sword straight over her head.  Bringing it down over her right shoulder, she swings with everything she has.  Her sword strikes the ambassador just above his shoulders, clean knocking his head to the ground.  Hot, red blood is a geyser splashing everyone with a 10 foot radius of the man. 

The room fell silent.  No one moved but to look at Heda.  Some fell to their knees in respect and fear.  “Does anyone else care to discuss the nature of my bed?”  Lexa looks around the room, then spits the blood that has dripped into her mouth. 

“Inform your soldiers we march for Arkadia at dawn.  And send a rider to Azgeda.  Let them know they will be needing a new ambassador.”  Lexa returns her sword and swiftly walks out of the meeting hall.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clexa reunion soon....I promise


	5. Good Bye for Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa returns to Clarke before leading her warriors to Arkadia.

Lexa stormed out of the meeting hall and headed straight for her private chambers.  She walked in and slammed the door behind her.  Still covered in blood she paused for a moment to breathe deeply and calm herself.  As she glances around the room she sees her bed.  Furs are scattered as she left them, as they left them.  She closes her eyes and tries to see again, to feel again her time spent here with Clarke. 

“How dare they snicker about what happens in my bed.”  She speaks to herself, condoning her action to decapitate the ambassador from Azgeda. 

She proceeds to clean herself and change her bloody clothes.  With a wet, warm sponge, she bathes her body, most of which is doused in blood.  She removes every braid from her hair and washes that as well.  She uses a mixture of lemon juice and vanilla.  She is pretty sure Clarke enjoys its scent.  Clarke.  All she can think about is Clarke. 

Guilt sucker punches her hard.  She doesn’t want Clarke in a cell, she wants her in her arms.  She doesn’t want Clarke angry and confused, she wants her relaxed and content.  There are only a few more hours until the sun rises, she should really try to sleep.  She knows that facing Arkadia will be taxing.  

Once finished bathing, Lexa dresses in a black silky nightgown.  The straps are thin, exposing her neck and shoulders.  It is simple, yet elegant.  The hem stops midway between her knees and thighs.  Her calves and feet remain naked. 

Lexa crawls into her bed and pulls her knees to her chest.  She lays her face into her knees wrapping her arms tightly around her legs.  She squeezes and closes her eyes.  She wants to open her eyes to see Clarke in her embrace, but she knows it isn’t so.  She wonders what she is doing at this moment.  She assumes she is angry, and perhaps cold.  Lexa inhales deeply, holding her breath, debating with herself if she dare see Clarke again.

Given the nature of the council meeting, she knows it is not wise to see her tonight.  She does not want to play into any further suspicion, nor does she want to endanger her any more than she already is. 

Then that same feeling, that same urgency came over her as it did yesterday when Clarke escaped her embrace.  She felt a need to go to her immediately.  She searched her drawer for an outfit that would conceal her identity.  She found the same hooded cloak she wore while escaping Ton DC with Clarke months earlier. She grabs it and quickly puts it on top of her nightgown.

She searches more for a warm, dry outfit for both Clarke and Abby.  She is certain their clothes are old and uncomfortable by now.  She finds a new shirt for each.  Finally, she grabs a fur from her bed, a small one.  It still smells of their intimacy.  She holds it to her cheek and inhales, closing her eyes.  She hopes Clarke can forgive her for keeping her in that cell.

With that thought she is gone.  She leaves her room and makes her way through the halls, carefully and quietly as not to disturb anyone or draw attention to herself.  The extra clothes and fur assist in her disguise.  If anyone caught a glimpse of her she would look like a servant bringing clean laundry to an ambassador.  She makes quick work of the commute, swiftly navigating her way through the halls and winding staircase to where the cells are, to where Clarke sits.  Lexa nervously play out in her head what she will say to her.  Nothing sounds good enough.  She wonders if she is making a mistake.

Clarke lay in her cot starring at the ceiling.  Though she is exhausted, she cannot sleep.  Her emotions continue to tug her in every direction.  She is angry about being locked up.  She is scared that she was almost killed by Titus.  She is confused at how Titus could seemingly flip a switch and now be all about protecting her.  She is longing for Lexa’s embrace.  She is wishing her headache would cease.

“Clarke.” An almost inaudible whisper settles over her.  She sits up and sees a hooded shadow just outside the locked bars.  Clarke stares trying to get a better view of the image.  “Clarke.” It calls her again, softer than the first time.

Clarke gets up and moves towards the bars.  When she is as close as she can get the hooded figure looks up from the ground.  Her green eyes pierce Clarke’s soul.  “Lexa?”

Lexa signals for Clarke to move towards the now opened door of the cell.  She then places her long, slender finger to her lip, “Shhhh.”  Clarke exits the cell carefully as to not wake Abby or Titus who both lay sleeping on their cots.

Lexa leads Clarke away from the cells to the winding staircase.  She stops before ascending and turns to look at Clarke.  “I told you I would come back.”  Lexa comforts the clearly stressed and over tired Clarke.  “But, I cannot stay long.  I ride for Arkadia at sunrise.”

Clarke sits down on the second step and sighs.  “Are you going to tell me what is happening?  What happened with the war council?  What is the plan for my people?”  She fully expects that Lexa will leave her with as many questions as she answers.

Lexa joins her on the second step, making contact with her shoulders and knees.  She turns to look at Clarke.  “I will tell what I can, what I know, and what I intend to do.”  Lexa reassures Clarke as she reaches out placing her hand over top of Clarke’s. 

“Ok, so what happened with the war council?” Clarke’s expression is impatient.

“I confirmed with the 12 clans that we will march on Arkadia at sunrise.  I will personally demand the surrender of Pike as well as see to it any Skaikru who seeks to join the 13th clan and reject Pike’s mission will be safely escorted back to Polis until a new home can be constructed.”

Lexa continues, “I also made it clear that until Pike has surrendered that you are our prisoner of war,” and pausing for a second while rubbing the top of Clarke’s knuckles, “and are not subject to the kill order.” 

Clarke immediately protests.  “But Lexa, Pike will never surrender.  If he sees you, he will personally try to kill you!”  Worry creeps over Clarke’s face as it begins to pale. 

“That’s what I’m counting on Clarke.” Lexa says in a calm voice with conviction.  There is something raw and wild about her demeanor.  She is definitely pulling from an instinctual place Clarke is not familiar with. 

“And what about the Ambassadors?  They were just okay with you not enforcing the kill order on me?”  Clarke questioned the likelihood of the scenario.

Lexa reassures her, “I had to make my case for the great value that you will have in reconstructing the 13th clan and bridging our worlds together for the better.” 

“And that worked?” Clarke looks again for confirmation.

“Yes, Clarke.” Lexa looks away. “And there was me beheading the ambassador from Azgeda.  But, he had it coming.”  Lexa acts as if her actions are typical.  And for Lexa, perhaps they are.

“You what?” Clarke’s voice escalated. 

“Shhh, Clarke no one can know I am here nor that we are speaking right now.  Beja.” Lexa looks directly into Clarke’s eyes pleading for her to not have a blow up.  Begging for her to try to understand.  Longing for her to lean in.

Clarke does want to blow up.  She wants to scream at Lexa.  She thinks Lexa is in over her head with Pike.  That Lexa will get her people killed trying to free them.  That Lexa has upset Azgeda and will face consequences.  These thoughts flood Clarke’s mind and she concedes to tears. 

Lexa can feel Clarke’s emotions.  She knows she is overwhelmed.  “Clarke, I swore to you that I would treat your needs as my needs, your people as my own.”  Lexa clasps Clarke by the chin with her right hand, wiping away tears with her left.  She looks into her eyes, darting back and forth from one to the other.

“Trust me.” Lexa speaks so softly it’s almost a whisper.  She knows her words will resonate with Clarke.  Just as they had with Lexa when Clarke spoke them to her.  “I will take care of your people,” she pauses and swipes her hands through Clarke’s hair pinning it behind her ears before making eye contact again, “Our people.”

Clarke finds Lexa’s eyes.  “What if Pike kills you Lexa?”  Clarke makes it sound like she is concerned about the fate of her people if such an event were to occur.  She is concerned for her people, but even more she is concerned for Lexa.  “What will happen?”  More tears stream down Clarke’s cheeks.

“I defeated Roan, I think I can handle Pike.”  Lexa tried to lighten the mood with an air of confidence.  “But, if I should fall, the next commander will protect you and your people.  They will unite the 13th clan as I would.  This I am certain of.” 

At her words Clarke cries even harder.  Hiccupping through her breaths.  Lexa is confused.  She was certain her confidence and pledge from the next commander would comfort Clarke.  With a puzzled look on her face Lexa looks at Clarke.  Clarke pulls her hands away only to reconnect with Lexa’s entwining their fingers.  She looks deep into Lexa’s eyes, a confession ready to explode out.

“I don’t want the next commander,” Clarke explains to Lexa.  Then, as quiet as Lexa’s first whisper and filled with a new waterfall of tears and emotion Clarke adds, “I want you.”

Lexa pulls Clarke into her chest strongly embracing her.  She takes in her scent, her tears, her fear, her love.  Her presence and embrace is enough to calm Clarke.  She pulls away to look once again into Clarke’s eyes. 

“Then I surely cannot lose.”  Lexa tells herself as much as she tells Clarke.  Her eyes dart between Clarke’s eyes and lips.  She leans into Clarke leaving a small gap between them waiting for Clarke to join her.   


Clarke closes the gap and throws her arms around Lexa’s shoulders.  They kiss soft passionate kisses.  At first they are filled with lips, but soon deepen.  Clarke runs her hands through Lexa’s hair, somewhat surprised not to find any braids, but relishing the scent.

The force of the kiss and Clarke continually pressing more of herself into Lexa causes them both to fall back into the staircase.  Clarke takes the opportunity to swing her leg over Lexa, straddling her.  She sits up and looks down over Lexa.  Lexa is looking back at her with a smirk she cannot wipe off of her face. 

“Don’t think this means you’re not in trouble for putting me in this damn cell.” Clarke playfully warns.  Lexa’s smirk grows into a full smile, perfectly straight white teeth boast back at Clarke.  “I look forward to making it up to you, Niron.”  Lexa responds. 

Clarke lies her head into Lexa’s shoulder, wrapping her arms around her neck.  “How long will you be gone?  How long will I be stuck down here?”

“I will confront Pike hours from now.  I expect to be back within two days’ time.”  Lexa runs her fingers through Clarke’s hair speaking softly into her ear.  “Then we will finalize the 13th clan with Pike’s execution.  Then you are free to go as you please, where you please.”  Lexa traces the outline of Clarke’s cheek and chin then moves to trace her lips.

Clarke sits up looking back at Lexa who follows.  Sitting essentially on Lexa’s lap Clarks rotates to look directly at Lexa, “Just make sure you come back to me.”  She says, eyes beginning to once again well. 

“Always.”  Lexa responds and follows her words in, kissing Clarke softly on the cheek. Clarke sighs in relief, almost satisfied with Lexa’s attempt to explain everything.  She is, indeed, difficult to please.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Lexa turns and retrieves the clothes and fur she had brought along.  “Here are some clean clothes for you and Abby.  And here is a fur for you.  I can’t have you catch cold down here.”  Lexa smirks, proud of herself.

Clarke recognizes the fur from Lexa’s bed and grins back at her.  “Thanks.”  She pauses, “But what about Titus?”  Lexa’s heart sinks at the sound of his name.  She picks her head up and stiffens her body.  Her anger with his betrayal was clearly still fresh.

“We can speak of Titus when I return.” Lexa dodges the issue. 

“I know what he did, Lexa.” Clarke explains.   “And,” She looks away from Lexa, “I know what you did in return.”  Glancing back at her she says, “I don’t understand everything about your culture yet, but in my culture when someone saves your life, you say thank you.”  Clarke replays her sentiment from when she had saved Lexa months before. 

Lexa smiles.  She was afraid Clarke would turn away knowing what darkness lives in parts of her.  But she is relieved that Clarke can see what she did was to protect her.

“Thank you.” Clarke looks back into the eyes of a smiling Lexa. 

They stand together and hold in an extra-long embrace.  “Two days,” Clarke says in a playful but threatening way.  “Two days.”  Lexa responds.


	6. Lexa dreams on her ride to Arkadia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa creates a parting gift for Clarke. On her way to Arkadia she falls asleep and dreams of an alternate gift she wishes she had time to give to Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is much more sexual in nature. Please know this has no intent or insinuation of rape.

Lexa arrives back to her chambers with only about two hours before sunrise.  She contemplates sleeping, or napping rather, but decided against it.  She has much to do to prepare herself for battle.  She wants to take extra care now, knowing Clarke wants her.  She does not want to let her down, and more than anything she wants more time with Clarke.  She must focus on every detail of her mission.

First she painstakingly braids her hair into an intricate interwoven maze only she could navigate, or perhaps Clarke, as she always seems to be staring at them.  They are tighter than normal.  She wants to ensure they will not loosen on the ride or in the eventual fighting she will likely experience in Arkadia.

When she is satisfied with her hair, she dresses herself.  She wears tight black pants and a tight black shirt.  Above which she puts her warrior cloak.  It doubles as a heavy duty dress except it is open in the front revealing her waistline.  Even dressed for battle Lexa looks good.  The cloak ties together at her chest.  She weaves the leather straps together, lacing them as tightly as she laced her hair.

Next she applies her warrior make-up or war paint.  Dipping two fingers into a jar of black and brown coagulation, she applies the cover generously.  She starts at the bridge of her nose, working inside out over her eyes and extending to her cheek bone.  She then wipes the remaining paint down her cheek.  Dipping her other hand and following the same pattern, she applies her mask to the other side of her face.  Once completed she looks like a camouflaged creature of nature. 

She reaches for her head piece to place between her eyebrows.  Suddenly a feeling of regret sneaks across her.  She holds the piece in her palm, rubbing her fingers across it.  She should have given this to Clarke.  It could have been something to hold on to while she waits.  Two days is a long time to wait in a cell.  She pauses and smiles.  An idea sparks. 

She found a basket and lined it with a clean cloth, a fresh one that smells of vanilla.  Quickly moving through the room she grabbed anything she wanted to give to Clarke.  Her fingers made haste but thoughtful venture.  They settled on a new candle (for better lighting of course), a piece of parchment, a few of Clarke’s charcoal pencils, and her headpiece.  From her own breakfast she also placed a bunch of green grapes.  She knows Clarke is being fed well, but she had the urge to share her own.  She pulls two flowers from a vase on her dresser and lays them across the top of everything.  Peonies in the fullest bloom, she inhales their scent.  Finally, on a second piece of parchment she wrote Clarke a note.

_Clarke –_

_Something to pass the time and to ease the pain._

_Two days…_

_\--Lexa_

Lexa placed a second cloth around the basket hiding the contents.  She then found a guard in the hallway.  “See to it that this is given to Clarke in her cell immediately.  If for some reason she does not receive everything in this package I will hold you personally responsible.”  Lexa threatens the near 250 pound muscle bound warrior.  His fear is evident as he immediately makes his way to the cells.  

Knowing Clarke will have something to hold on to as she waits makes her feel a little less guilty.  She is determined to get to Arkadia, to detain Pike, to free Clarke’s people-her people-and to get safely back to Polis.  She wants to proceed with Pike's execution as soon as possible so Clarke can be freed. 

Finally, she straps on two swords to her back and places her knife at her side.  With determination in her heart and focus in her eyes she makes her way to the gathering room, where she just hours before beheaded the ambassador from Azgeda.  She is pleased to see that her mess had been thoroughly cleaned.  Perhaps the servants are used to such spills and have become a sort of expect on cleaning blood. 

Lexa takes her seat on her throne waiting anxiously for each ambassador to arrive.  She is early and is irritated that others decided to wait until the sun has fully risen.  Impatiently, she stands and demands the missing ambassadors be pulled from their rooms. 

“The sun is nearly up.  I need ambassadors for all of the 12 clans to confirm their armies are ready to march.”  Lexa demands impatiently.

Ambassadors rush out, surly afraid to upset Heda.  Just minutes later 12 ambassadors face her.  A female from Azgeda is present.  She is soft and timid and seems tired.  Lexa assumes she has ridden all night to Polis after riders sent for a new ambassador. 

“Is every clan ready to ride?” Heda stands erect with both hands behind her back.  She is intimidating with her full warrior gear and stoic face. 

“Yes Heda, yes, we are ready Heda.”  Responses echo throughout the gathering room. 

Lexa doesn’t want to admit it, but she is a little impressed that the ambassador from Azgeda is fully ready even though she only just arrived last night.

“Excellent.  Notify your warriors we leave in 10 minutes.”  Lexa orders each ambassador to inform their clan, then walks out of the gathering hall.

She makes her way down the tower and through the great streets of Polis.  Most people are outside watching the march unfold.  Lovers kiss good bye, young warriors puke nerves, veterans mount with pride.  Lexa makes her way to the very front of the line where her black horse awaits. 

“He is fully fed and watered, Heda.”   A voice informs her as he hands her the reins.  Lexa returns a distinct nod of appreciation.  She then clicks the horse into motion.  She makes her way around the front and sides of the warriors standing at attention.  She explains their goal and purpose.

“Warriors of the 12 clans.  We are here today to demand the surrender of a murderer of our people.  We will negotiate his surrender in a peaceful way if possible.  Those members of Skaikru that do not follow Pike and his ways will be pardoned and will be welcomed into our coalition, just as you were welcomed into the 12 clans’ alliance.  Anyone that attacks against my will or without my order will pay for your mistake with your life.”

Lexa continues to move throughout the crowd ensuring all clearly understand. 

“But if Pike will not come peacefully, then we are prepared to fight!”  Lexa shouts, teeth sneering out from behind her full lips.  “And, I will be the first to shed blood for our people and for those that will become our people.”

Upon her commitment to be the first into battle, warriors of all clans cheer and yell loudly.  Horses get excited rearing up all around. 

“Let us march!”  Lexa rears up on her horse turning to the front of the line, leading her warriors toward Arkadia. 

***

“Excuse me, Wanheda.” The 250 pound muscle bound guard gently wakes Clarke from an otherwise deep sleep.  It seems her talk with Lexa the night before did put her nerves at some ease.

“This is a package for you.” He places the covered basket onto the cot on which Clarke remains sitting.  He immediately retreats from the cell and returns to his post.

Clarke is curious and decides to open the basket straight away.  She pulls back the outer cloth to reveal Lexa’s note, reading it silently to herself.

_Clarke –_

_Something to pass the time and to ease the pain._

_Two days…_

_\--Lexa_

A deep smile ignites on her face as she traces her finger across the words on the page.  She peeks back into the basket and sees the flowers.  Gingerly, she grabs each one, smelling their scent with a deep inhale.  Her smile falls as she sees the grapes.  Surely these were part of Lexa’s breakfast and she longed to be with her sharing it together.  She hopes Lexa ate enough to sustain her through travel and battle. 

She removes the parchment paper and the charcoal pencils.  She is relieved to have something to indeed pass the time.  She immediately wants to create something for Lexa, she is just not sure what.  So many ideas start racing through her head. 

She removes the candle and sets it on the table next to the existing one.  Lexa’s is larger and artistic designs are etched into the edges.  She smiles, remembering similar candles from Lexa’s room. 

She believes the basket to be empty, but then sees something at the bottom.  She reaches in, not sure of what it is in the dim light.  Pulling out the object she places it in her palm and traces her fingers over it.  Her heart swelled when she recognized Lexa’s headpiece.  This was something she often wore, and she had given it away.  Clarke suddenly felt a huge responsibility to keep it safe and near.  She squeezed her palm vowing to herself that she would return it to Lexa when she returned.  Lexa was right, its presence does help ease the pain.

***

Only one hour into the ride and Lexa is starting to wish she had forced herself to sleep the night before.  Her body and mind are tired as she gallops forward.  She finds herself slouching forward using her horse’s mane as support. 

“Heda.” Thomas, one of Lexa’s most loyal guards gets her attention. 

“Thomas.” She responds.

“We have several hours to ride.  I will take your reins if you would like to rest.”  Thomas is not accusing or jesting.  He is full of concern.  He wants her to be as prepared as possible upon arrival and recognized her exhaustion.  

“Thank you Thomas.”  Lexa willingly hands the reins to Thomas, who rides side by side on his own horse.  Normally, Lexa would be offended if someone insinuated she was tired or weak, but at this moment she allowed her head to speak.  Knowing how much is weighing on the outcome, she retreats and accepts the help, allowing herself to sleep while they ride.

It’s only minutes before she begins to fall asleep.  She leans even further forward, arms braced around her horse’s neck for support.  Her legs instinctively squeeze tightly adding to her support.  Her sleep is deep and her mind begins to play.

She sees herself getting ready for battle.  It’s the same routine.  Dressing, make-up, weapons, determination and focus…but this time she does not prepare a basket for Clarke.  She leaves her room and makes her way to the cells herself.  The entire walk there she keeps replaying Clarke’s words in her head.

“I don’t want the next commander.  I want you.”

Lexa focuses on the second half and can feel her heartbeat accelerate.  Her breathing quickens as she draws nearer to the cell where Clarke sits surely waiting for her. 

Lexa is prepared for battle and knows there is a chance she may never return. 

“I want you.”  She hears it again, this time she swallows deep with urgency in her veins.

Now circling down the staircase she is almost running.  Her exertion evident in the sweat beginning to form on her forehead.  She takes the last step down and is there.  She glances into the cells and sees Clarke laying on her cot, quiet but awake.  She enters.

“Clarke.”  She whispers softly.  Clarke responds by sitting up. 

“Clarke.” She says again.  Clarke turns and sees her standing outside the bars.  

“Lexa.”  Her voice surprised.  “I thought you were leaving.”

“I am.” Lexa responded.  “We leave shortly, but I had to see you.”  Her voice is low and somewhat desperate.    

Clarke stands and joins Lexa near the bars. 

“Come with me.  I only have 10 minutes.”  Lexa pleads to Clarke.  Glancing at the open cell door Clarke smiles and exits the cell.

“Where are we going?”  Clarke says a little concerned.  She knows being seen with Lexa could be dangerous for both of them. 

Lexa leads her away from the cells and back to the base of the winding staircase.  There is a small area just behind the beginning of the staircase, Lexa pulls Clarke to its corner.

“Lexa?”  Clarke looks to her with confused eyes.  Lexa was pulling her tautly to the point where Clarke thought she was going to be reprimanded. 

Lexa pushes Clarke’s back against the wall and says, “I keep hearing something that you said.”

Clarke looks to Lexa even more confused, “What?”

Lexa closes into Clarke with piercing eyes, “You said you want me.” 

Clarke didn’t know how to respond.  She wondered if Lexa was somehow upset about her confession.  She paused for a second before saying anything.

“Well, is that what you said?  Is that what you meant?”  Lexa barks impulsively. 

Clarke’s heart beats faster.  She still doesn’t know how to respond.  Lexa stands before her inches away.  She is dressed in full warrior gear and glaring at her.  Almost afraid of her Clarke finally responds, “Yes.”

“Yes what.”  Lexa leans in further almost touching her lips to Clarke's.

“Yes, I want you.” Clarke says completely unsure of where this is going.  Lexa is acting like nothing she has seen before.  Her green eyes are deep and her pupils growing.  There is something primal in her, it both frightens and excites Clarke.

Before Clarke can even finish her sentence Lexa has grabbed her hand so forcefully she spins Clarke around.  She pulls Clarke’s hair from her left shoulder to her right shoulder and plants her face into her bare neck. 

“You want me like this?” Lexa says in a deep voice as she plunges her teeth into Clarke’s neck.  She bites hard but then releases with soft lips.  Clarke can do nothing except gasp for breath.  She is both shocked and excited.

She continues her heavy breathing and answers Lexa, “Yes.”  Clarke says soft and submissively.

Lexa feels her core swell at Clarke’s response.  She reaches in front of Clarke and runs her hands up from her waist to her breasts.  She grabs her breasts tightly with both hands pushing Clarke forward into the wall. 

Again, Clarke is unprepared and can only respond with a sharp inhale. 

Lexa continues to suck and bite Clarke’s neck while forcefully squeezing her breasts.  She looks up from Clarke’s neck and down to her chest.  The pressure she is putting on her breasts has squeezed them tightly together and Lexa can’t help but thrust her hips into Clarke as she gaze at what she’s created. 

Clarke is again unprepared for Lexa’s motions.  She let out a moan as she felt Lexa’s pulse into her backside. 

“Shhhhh,” Lexa whispered into Clarke’s ear, almost taunting her.  “What else do you want?”  Lexa continues to whisper then bites the lobe of her ear urging a response.  Her hips are now moving rhythmically into Clarke. 

“I” Clarke can’t seem to get words out past her heavy breathing.  “I want to feel you.” 

Without hesitation, Lexa firmly traces Clarke’s body from her breasts to her abdomen past her hips to her pants leaving Clarke breathless along the way.  Her hands quickly unbutton and lower her zipper.  She moves back to her neck and traces her tongue long her neck and collar bone stopping at her shoulder. 

“You want to feel me?” Lexa asks for confirmation and permission?

Exhaling as she speaks Clarke replies a breathy, “Yes.”

Again without hesitation reaching from behind Lexa surges three fingers deep into Clarke.  She is wet but her strength and depth is more than what Clarke was ready for. 

Clarke releases a groan followed by two heavy breathes.  Lexa retreats only to follow it up with another strong thrust. 

“Aw” Clarke can’t keep it in.  The sensation of Lexa filling her is more than she can handle.  Before she can say anything she feels the ebb and flow again and again.  She closes her eyes and can feel herself almost pass out.  Lexa’s steady breathing, thrusting and pulsing is all she can focus on. 

The force is almost painful, but Clarke doesn’t want it to stop.  She begins to rock her hips in motion to Lexa’s rhythm.  Her body is flowing heat and she can feel herself drip down her leg. 

Clarke begins to feel herself elevate and anticipates the release.  She is somehow still conscious of her noise level, although she may be failing.  Before she can let go Lexa retreats. 

She swings her back around now face to face.  Lexa looks into Clarke’s eyes, she is zoned in and ready to pounce, her primal instincts taking over.  She rips off Clarke’s pants that have now fallen halfway to the ground. 

With her right arm she picks Clarke up swinging her legs around her waist.  She presses Clarke’s back against the wall for leverage.  Using her left hand she forcefully grabs Clarke’s breast.  Finally, she allows their lips to meet.  Lexa’s kiss is deep and passionate.  She can hear Clarke’s breathing adjust. 

Letting go of her breast, Lexa reaches back under Clarke and inserts herself again.  This time she only uses two fingers and her pace has doubled.  Her friction is well lubricated as she massages Clarke’s clit with her thumb. 

Releasing her lips from Lexa, Clarke pushes her face into Lexa’s shoulder.  Her moaning is now out of her control.  Her attempt to remain quiet is failing. 

Lexa whispers into her neck “Shhhhh,” and with that she drives her hips and fingers deeper into Clarke.  The pressure is enough to push her over the edge and she releases.  She can feel her insides tighten and loosen around Lexa over and over.  Lexa slows her motion before removing her hand all together. 

Lowering Clarke’s legs to the ground so that she is now standing facing her Lexa again kisses her.  Pausing to look at Clarke, Lexa says softly, “Is that what you wanted?”  Smiling as she leans in to continue her kiss.

“Hmm, that was amazing.” Clarke responds through their kiss.  “But,” she continues suddenly dropping from Lexa’s lips to her neck.  Continuing past her chest and stomach.  Clarke now kneeling in front of Lexa begins tugging at her pants. 

“Oh,” Lexa giggles, “There is something else that you want?”  Smiling down on Clarke, Lexa concedes. 

Clarke pulls Lexa’s pants down to her knees, just enough so she can maneuver.  She is surprised to see she has nothing on underneath them.  Looking back up to Lexa she says, “The Commander goes commando into battle?” 

Lexa refocused spins herself so her back is to the wall and grabs Clarke by her hair.  “Is that a problem?” She asks. 

“Not at all.”  Clarke responds lifting Lexa’s left leg over her shoulder. 

Parting her lips with her fingers, Clarke slowly and softly places her tongue on Lexa.  She stiffens it while running the course of her navigation.  She cycles a few times, teasing Lexa, then she enters Lexa with her tongue.  Her motion is strong and penetrates Lexa deeper than she expected. 

Letting out a moan, Lexa grabs Clarke by the back of the head revealing her pleasure.   

Clarke can feel Lexa getting wetter and her legs getting tenser.  She traced her tongue back to her center and rotated forcefully.  Lexa exhales deeply and Clarke, still keeping contact with her tongue, reenters Lexa with her finger.  Her second trust moves to two fingers and that is enough. 

Lexa leans over grabbing Clarke with both hands as her back arches.  Clarke is relentless and does not retreat.  After three clenches Lexa has to push her away.  Falling to the ground herself they both sit there facing each other.

Clarke slides closer and leans her head onto Lexa’s shoulder.  They sit and allow their hearts to stabilize. 

“Clarke,” Lexa softly pulls back to make eye contact with Clarke. 

“Yes.” Clarke looks back at Lexa.  She notices a difference.  The primal warrior is gone, the delicate woman stares back. 

“Remember this.   Remember me.”  Lexa says, a single tear falling to her cheek.

Wiping away her tear, and kissing Lexa on the lips, Clarke talks into her kiss, “Always.”

 Helping each other stand on their feet, both hastily redress.  

Clarke looks at Lexa smirking. 

“What” Lexa says slightly embarrassed.

“I think you just came in your dream.”  Clarke giggles and is gone. 

Lexa pulls her head up, wiping drool from her mouth.  She is really wishing she had some underwear as she slides uncomfortably back and forth in her saddle. 

“You must have slept well Heda.”  Thomas startles her back into reality.  “We are almost there.”

“I slept great Thomas.”  Lexa smiles, guilt making her flush.  “Thank you.”

Lexa stretches her back and feels totally refreshed, well except for wishing she had a spare outfit.

 

 

 

 

 


	7. Arkadia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa makes her way to Arkadia to confront Pike.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it has been a while. I was on a short vacation. I thought maybe I'd be able to write a little at the hotel, but let's just say the poker table was good to me. :-)

“Pike wait!” Kane pleaded, begging for a minute to try to talk some sense into him. 

Pike didn’t even acknowledge Kane.  Instead, he pulled the trigger.  A loud crack shot through the air echoing through the nearby forest.  It seemed as if time froze in that second.  The sound lingered, the blood splattered, the body fell with an earthy thump.

Across the front yard of Arkadia kneel a dozen plus of what Pike calls traitors.  He rounded up everyone who outwardly backed Clarke and the notion of being the 13th clan.  Kane was allowed to remain free in hopes of keeping any silent defectors from turning in the future.

Kane continues to beg for their lives.  “Pike, you don’t have to do this!  These people are just scared.  They don’t want to hurt anyone.”

Finally Pike responds, “They don’t want to hurt grounders.  And, not hurting grounders is both naive and ends up hurting us.  I can’t afford to allow anyone to hurt us, not even these traitors.”  Pike spits out the last line as he moves towards the next victim.

Monty, Harper, Raven, Octavia, Lincoln and Jasper are among the few shaking on their knees.  Bellamy watches as Pike motions behind the next in line.  His sister, Octavia straightens her back, not an ounce of fear in her as Pike approaches.  Armed with a rifle himself, he debates when to make a move against Pike, or if he should at all.  Before he can act, Lincoln has tackled Pike to the ground.

Hands tied behind his back, Lincoln in pure rage manages to knock Pike to the ground before he can shoot Octavia. 

“Guards.  Get this monster grounder off of me!”  Pike yells before taking a strong head-butt directly to his nose.  Blood bathes his lips and chin as Lincoln strikes again with his head. 

Bellamy steps in and pulls Lincoln off of Pike.  As he knees him in the stomach knocking the wind out of him he says, “Lincoln, I’m not letting him kill my sister.  Please just sit here until I make my move.”  With that he cut the tie holding Lincoln’s hands together.

Lincoln remains calm if only for a few minutes to catch his breath and consider a plan that can save them.

Standing back up, Pike walks in front of Lincoln and spits directly in his face, remnants of blood stain Lincoln’s face and chest. 

“See, you can’t trust these fucking animals.  You can’t predict their behavior.”  Turning to the crowd summoned to watch the event, “This is why we have to strike before they do.  This is the only way to protect you.”

“Pike, the Commander has sworn peace to us.  We have to at least try for peace.  We cannot fight a grounder army of thousands.”  Once again, Kane’s plead falls on deaf ears.

Walking this time up to Lincoln, Pike aims his gun directly at him.  Lincoln looks to Bellamy who reaches for his own weapon. 

“Chancellor!  Chancellor! She’s here.  The Commander is here with an entire army behind her.”  Guards alert over the radio.  “What should we do?  Do we shoot?  Chancellor!”

A devilish smile creeps across Pike’s face.  “Looks like you found yourself a new purpose, grounder.”

He lowers his weapon and instructs Lincoln to stand.

“I’m not sending one of my own out there to be butchered by your savages.  I am going to send you out there to deliver our message to your Commander.”

Lincoln stares deep into Pike’s eyes, hatred eating a hole right through him.  “What message?”

“You can tell your Commander I am about to execute over a dozen of her supporters.  If she claims she will defend them and that they are truly her people, then she can take their place.  I will release all of these traitors to the woods if she walks through that gate.”

Lincoln, pauses for a moment to consider how he can get Octavia out.  Before he can say anything Bellamy is behind him pretending to release his already freed hands. 

“This is how you both get out of here.  Do it.  I will make sure she is safe.”

Unsure he could trust Bellamy, Lincoln renegotiates with Pike.  “I will deliver your message but I am bringing Octavia with me.”

Laughing Pike responds, “You don’t decide the terms grounder.  I can kill her now so it’s less for you to think about if you like.”

“Lincoln,” Octavia pleads, “Just go.  Get out of here.  Take your out!”

Without a better idea in mind, Lincoln turns and makes his way toward the gate.  He had to believe either the Commander or Bellamy would come through.  If not, he was prepared to run back into camp unarmed to do what he could to save Octavia and the others.

***

“Commander, they are opening the gates.”  Thomas informs Lexa as she is just fully waking up. 

The marching line of warriors stops, allowing the messenger a distance to travel before reaching them.  Before he arrived Lexa could easily recognize the member from Trikru. 

“Lincoln.”  Lexa dismounts her horse and approaches her comrade.

“Commander, I am sent to deliver a message to you.”  Lincoln responds winded with emotion.

“What message?” 

“Pike has rounded up your vocal supporters.  There are over a dozen of them.  I mean there are many many more, but these are the ones actively trying to remove him from power in order to accept the alliance.”  Lincoln says beginning to ramble slightly.

Lexa reaches out and grabs Lincoln’s hand. “Lincoln, it’s okay.  Tell me.”

“He is going to execute them.  He has already shot one.  He has Octavia.”  With tears in his eyes he finishes the message.  “He said he would only release them if you took their place.”  With guilt in even mentioning this possibility he looks down to the ground.

Lexa releases his hand and takes a deep breath. 

“Those are our people.  We cannot allow the execution of our people.”  Thinking of Clarke and how important it is to prove her devotion to the 13th clan, she continues, “I will accept the deal.”

“But, Commander,” Lincoln questions with as much respect as he can muster.  “He will shoot you on the spot.”

Lexa smiles, “I need you to deliver my response.  Tell him, I will enter Arkadia and challenge him to one on one combat.  He will release the prisoners upon my arrival regardless of who wins.” 

Although this is a risk, Lexa knows that Pike is too proud to pass up the opportunity to kill the Commander himself.  She is banking on the fact that his pride will give her a chance to take him down and save her people, the 13th clan, in the process.

“I will inform him, Commander.”  And with that, Lincoln was running back to the gate.

***

Pike walks back and forth in front of the traitors.  “Let’s see how much your so called Commander actually cares about her 13th Clan.” 

The crowd, already large, was growing as all members of Arkadia looked on.  Their futures hung in the balance.  Many of them wanted the hope of peace in becoming the 13th clan but also shared their own concerns about trusting grounders. 

“Chancellor, Lincoln is back and says he has an answer from the Commander.”  The radio breaks Pike from continuing his monologue.

“Let him in.  I can’t wait to hear this.”  He responds though his walkie.

“I can’t believe that dumb boy didn’t just run while he had the chance.”  Pike adds referring to Lincoln.

Lincoln walks back with purpose and confidence and stops inches from Pike to deliver the response. 

“The Commander will accept your offer.”

The crowd instantly starts buzzing with comments. 

“But,” Lincoln adds, “She requests that the prisoners leave as she enters.  And, that you meet her in a no weapon, hand to hand dual.” 

The concept of fighting a woman hand to hand without weapons and loosing makes Pike laugh out loud.

“Ha, and what happens when I kill her with my hands?  Your army will just walk away?”

“It is the Commander’s wishes that they would.  They would all retreat as to respect her defeat and to begin the process of finding a new commander in the conclave.  You would buy yourself weeks before they could organize like this again.  But, that is only if you win of course.”  Lincoln finishes the last line with a smirk on his face.

“You people are as dumb as you look.  Tell your Commander she has a deal.”  Pike motions to his guards to escort the remaining traitors to the gate.  He follows behind stretching his back and arms as if he is preparing to run a 50 meter sprint.

Pike thinks this is his opportunity to prove to the people that he is the best decision for their future.  Taking down the Commander himself would show them not only his strength, but judgement in leadership.  This is the opportunity he is waiting for to solidify his support and to root out any potential future uprising.

***

“Heda, are you sure these prisoners are worth fighting for?”  Thomas asks with complete respect and concern for his Commander.

“Thomas, I have sworn my allegiance to the 13th clan.  It is true, they are being held hostage by a dictator aimed to get them all killed, but I must be smarter than he.  So, Yes.  They are worth fighting for.  They represent the alliance and of course that is worth fighting for.  These are Clarke’s people.  I swore to her directly I would do everything I could to keep them safe.  So, again, yes this is worth it.”

Lexa already preparing for a fight removed her swords and dagger.  “I will fight according to the rules we set.  It must be so for all to recognize the victory.” 

With that she begins walking toward the gate of Arkadia.  Two or three most valued warriors from each clan, totaling more than 25 followed her to the gate.  If Pike decided to arm himself Lexa would call upon these warriors to attack at his betrayal.  She had already instructed the remaining warriors of their purpose.  They are to only attack if Pike betrays the rules of the fight.  If she were to lose, they were to retreat to Polis to immediately begin the conclave bringing her corpse along with them.  If she were to win, she would instruct them further at that point.

Lexa and her 25 warriors reach the gate the same time Lincoln approaches from within. 

“He accepts Commander.”  Lincoln informs her with a mouthy grin.

“I had no doubt that he would, Lincoln.”  Lexa smirks back with confidence.

“Please inform Pike that these warriors are here to ensure the fight is weapon free.  If he betrays that rule they will attack.”  Lexa explains.

Lincoln immediately recedes to where Pike was now approaching.

“What is the meaning of this?” Pike says reaching for his gun.

“The Commander only wants to ensure that your hand to hand fight remains hand to hand.  If you attempt to use any other type of weapon they will attack.”  Lincoln relays the message to Pike with confidence.

“And when I win, they will be accepting their deaths too or walking out?”  Pike asked Lincoln while looking directly at the Commander.

“If I were to lose, my warriors will exit with my body immediately without attack.  If I win, my warriors will again, not attack because these are our people.”  Lexa shouts loudly spinning around to make eye contact with all in the crowd.

“I do not have an issue with the 13th clan.  I only have an issue with the one who ordered the massacre of my warriors during a time of peace.”  Lexa steps closer to Pike, grinding her teeth, “I only have an issue with you.”

Once again turning to the crowd the Commander adds, “This war ends with Pike’s death.”

“Well,” Pike smiles eager to prove the Commander wrong.  “Let’s not waste any more time.”

He signals to open the gates.  The remaining “traitor” prisoners walk out freed while Lexa and her 25 warriors walk in.  While the exchange is occurring, Pike pulls Bellamy to the side.

“Bellamy, get the gunman ready.  I will take her out with my hands, but none of these warriors leave alive.  As soon as I’m finished, instruct the gunners to take them down.  Then do the same with any grounder than remains outside of camp.”

Bellamy looks into Pike’s eyes and nods.

“And,” with a smirk on his face, “If she somehow gets the upper hand on me, take her out before she takes me out.”

With that last comment everything became crystal clear to Bellamy.  He felt guilt and sick to his stomach that he ever followed such a man.  He responded, “I will always have my people’s back, Sir.” 

“I know you do Bellamy.”  Pike hit Bellamy on the shoulder as he walked away convinced he had already won.

***

Everyone inside Arkadia is watching and waiting for the fight.  The grounders on the outside of the gates stand on horses and each other’s backs to try to catch a glimpse.  But the freed prisoners are instructed to return immediately to Polis.  They are escorted by a dozen warriors. 

“Why can’t we stay and watch the fight?  This is stupid!  I want to see that asshole die!”  Jasper complains as he rides towards Polis.

“The Commander instructed us to take you to Polis.  You will need to wait there until the ceremony is complete.”  Thomas amongst the guides informs the group.

“What do you mean ceremony?  What else has to happen?” Raven jumps at the reply.

Thomas continues to explain, “You are only free when one of the bodies is burned for all to see.  Upon that you will be released.” 

“One of the bodies?  You mean you really are going to free us regardless of who it is?”  Monty inquires.

“The Commander is a woman of her word.  Yes.  You will eventually be freed.  Until then, please be patient.”

The group continued on their ride.  All hated Pike, but more than that, most started to actually respect the Commander.

***

“I don’t usually like the idea of beating on women, but this, I’m going to enjoy.” Pike reveals to Lexa as he removes his weapons along with his shirt.

A mixed group of grounders and Skaikru encircle them.  They are ready to begin.  The crowd is silent and unsure of how to respond initially.  Most are scared of the outcome, regardless of the winner.

Lexa looks to the sky with her hands raised out and speaks softly for only herself to hear.  “Commanders of the past, guide me to victory.”  Lowering her head to look at the ground she whispers to Clarke miles away, “May we meet again.”

Before she can raise her head Pike is already on her.  His fist hits her right temple.  He has gone for a knock out shot right out of the gate.  Lexa falls to the ground, dazed but conscious.  His fists are relentless coming one after another on her head and face.  A strong left hand left a gash above her right eye, blood splatters out easily. 

In less than 30 seconds Pike has beaten Lexa to a point where her eyes are basically swollen shut, blood drips down her face and she is nearly unconscious.  He stops, stands and turns to the crowd. 

“You call this a Commander?  She is a school girl in a costume.  She could never tame savage grounders.” 

He turns back to Lexa to deliver a potential death blow.  Lexa lay presumably unconscious.  As Pike steps over her and pulls back for the blow she kicks her leg and heel of her boot directly into his groin.  He stumbles back in pain and tries to catch his breath. 

Lexa is on her feet, seemingly uninjured, although her bruising, swelling and bleeding tell a different story.  She has backed away from Pike about 10 feet and is circling him.  She does not approach him.  It is clear to hear sheer force will not win this fight for her.  She must use her intelligence, she must use leverage and his body weight and ego to defeat him.

Angered, Pike darts towards Lexa.  She sidesteps his approach while reaching for his right hand.  She has it, twists in and allows Pike to fall twisted onto his own wrist.  His weight is enough to break the bone which now has protruded through his skin. 

He falls to his knees in pain and disbelieve.  “You Bitch.  I’m gonna kill you!” He spits in frustration.

Patiently, Lexa again waits for him to approach her from about 10 feet back.  This time he jumps in with a drop kick.  She ducks enough to miss the blow then lunges herself forward effectively knocking Pike onto his back.  Before his body can settle onto the ground her heel of her boot has driven into his throat.  He gurgles attempting to breathe.  It is not a fatal injury, but one that keeps him down.  Surely one or two more blows to his throat would do the trick. 

The Commander raises her boot and smacks it down.  She does not hit Pike, but instead hits right next to his head.  He quivers in fear.  She did not kill him.  Instead she turns to the crowd.

“Who here thinks this fight is over?”  She yells out. 

The crowd is instantly loud.  It is clear to most that she has indeed won this fight, or will be shortly. 

“I could kill you now, but you are not my kill.  You have mistreated the SkaiKru and have caused our alliance to question the loyalty of the 13th clan.”

As she spoke, Pike attempted to sit up.  Lexa drove her foot into his chest knocking him back to the ground and likely breaking a rib.  He yelled in pain and fear, “Bellamy.  Do it!  Take her out.  Bellamy!”

With that Bellamy emerges from the crowd, gun in hand.  He walks directly to the pair and kneels.  He sets the gun on the ground and looks up to Lexa, “Commander, Skaikru accepts being the 13th clan and is willing to show you our loyalty.”

Fear creeps into Pike’s eyes as he realizes he has been betrayed.  Lexa continues to explain to the crowd. 

“Pike will die, but not here and not by my hand.  We will escort him back to Polis where all who questioned the 13th clan will prove their loyalty by participating in his execution.  He will die by as many cuts as it takes to reestablish our coalition.”    

She looks to Bellamy, “Tie his hands and help him onto a horse.  You are personally responsible that he makes it to Polis alive.” 

Looking into Pike’s eyes, Bellamy responds, “With Skaikru’s honor and the future of the alliance at stake I will see to it with my life, Commander.”

“Anyone who will accept the 13th clan will follow us back to Polis.  We will establish a new village for your people, for our 13th clan.  Anyone left here will be considered a traitor and will be subject to a kill order.  These lands are now forbidden.”  The Commander speaks loudly for all to hear.

“But our supplies, our equipment, our technology?”  The crowd is concerned about their belongings and their comfort at Arkadia. 

“You may have three days to gather and move anything you deem necessary.  We can send for wagons and we will leave 100 warriors to assist the process.  A temporary housing will be set up near Polis for you until we can collaboratively build your new village.”

Kane walks up to Lexa with more confidence that perhaps he should.  He gets as close as an arm’s length away and extends his arm.  Lexa reaches out to shake his arm. 

“Thank you Commander.  We look forwards to building our new home and to cooperating as the 13th clan.” 

Lexa nods in approval and speaks. “I do not know how your people choose their leaders, nor do we have to change that process.  But, until your people have chosen another in our new home, I will assume you to be the interim Skaikru leader, Kane.”

Kane looks to her and smiles, “It would be my honor.”  He walks away and begins spreading the word.  “Pack everything that you want to bring to our new home.  We must be out in three days.  We start now.” 

Crowds begin to dissipate.  There is a loudness but not of chaos, rather of excitement and new beginnings.

“Heda, will you be leaving now for Polis?”  One of Lexa’s commanders asks in hopes of riding alongside her. 

“No, I will be the last of my people to leave.  I will oversee the move and insure it is done fairly and to everyone’s needs.  Please inform the ambassadors I will return, but will be a few days late.” 

She looks to her commander again.  “Please tell Clarke that I am sorry for the delay, and that I will make it up to her.” 

“Can we at least see to your injuries, Heda?”  The commander replies in concern.

Without a word, Lexa just looks at him.  He knows she will not give in until all of her people are moved and safe.

“Very well Heda.  I will deliver your messages.”  Then he was gone, taking the bulk of the warriors with him as well as Bellamy who escorted the injured Pike back to Polis.

***

Clarke has spent most of the day drawing with what Lexa had delivered to her.  She tried to start more than once, but continued to draw the same image over and over.  She looks down at her paper.  There are dozens of sets of eyes masked in warrior paint spread across the paper.  It is Lexa, starring back at her in every direction. 

It is not enough for her. She wants to see the real thing.  She wants to look Lexa in the eyes and know that she is okay.  That they are okay.  That her people are okay.  She puts down the pencil in frustration just as footsteps approach in the stairwell. 

She is excited to think Lexa has returned so quickly, it had been only a day and she was prepared to wait for two.  “Mom, someone is coming.”  She wakes Abby who has been bored waiting as well.

“Keep moving, you will spread out among all of the cells.”  Thomas’ voice echoes.

Then she saw her people.  Raven, Monty, Jasper, Octavia, Lincoln followed by more.  They were all being escorted into cells as prisoners.  Clarke couldn’t contain her rage.

“What the hell are you doing?  Lexa went there to free our people, not imprison them!”  Her confusion was evident in her face.

“No Clarke, we are just here in limbo, waiting.”  Octavia explained.

“Waiting?” Clarke said with even more confusion.  “Waiting for what?”

“Someone to die.” Octavia said stoically. 

Raven jumped in to explain a bit more in detail. 

“Pike was executing us.  All of us would be dead right now, Clarke.  But, Lexa, she took our place.  She made a deal with Pike to save us.”

“What do you mean she took your place?  She gave herself up?” Clarke realizing her initial anger was misplaced is swelling with guilt and concern for Lexa.

“She’s going to fight him, Pike.  In a hand to hand combat to the death.  It was the only way he would let us go.  We will be released when there is a winner.”  Jasper pipes up to add the details.

The notion of Lexa fighting hand to hand against Pike to save her people, Clarke’s people, is enough to bring Clarke to tears.  She has seen Lexa fight before against Roan, but she was never comfortable with it.  Now, Lexa is doing it for her.  She knows it.  She would sacrifice a few to save the many.  That is her mantra, but not these few.  Lexa knew how much these few meant to Clarke and choosing to save them was clearly an act for Clarke more than anything. 

Clarke realized what Lexa had done and was overwhelmed with emotion.  Her heart swelled with love, with pride, with fear and anxiety.  She sat back onto her cot and caught the image of what she had been drawing earlier.  She picked up the paper and looked into Lexa’s eyes.

“Please come home to me.” She whispered and kissed the image before pressing it to her heart.

“She’s tough honey.”  Abby tried to console her.  “And, Pike’s and idiot.  If anyone can do this, she can.”  Her words mean well, but nothing will alleviate Clarke’s worry except seeing Lexa herself alive and well.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	8. Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke continues to worry while Skaikru waits to complete the ceremony confirming their loyalty to the alliance as the 13th clan.

“Clarke,” Titus stands above Clarke preaching, “Lexa would not want you to make yourself sick over this.  I believe she has defeated Pike.  If not,” he looks away from Clarke as to not worry her further, “Riders would have sent to commence the conclave by now.”

His argument makes sense.  There has been no word and only the “prisoners” have returned.  Surely no news must be good news by now.  She has been staring at her comrades for the past 6 hours.  She still can’t believe Lexa risked her life to save them. 

Clarke exhales loudly and rests her head in her hands. 

“Clarke,” Octavia calls from the cell across the aisle.  “Lincoln had complete confidence that she could beat Pike in a hand to hand fight and he knows her better than anyone.” 

Clarke is not sure about that last statement, but somehow Octavia’s words do bring some comfort.  The waiting is just killing her.  Just when she is about to scream, a half dozen guards walk into the holding area.  With them they carry food for 20 or more.  Fresh bread, fruit, dried venison, water and wine.

A collective cheer breaks out as the food looks and smells delicious.  Tables were set up in the common aisle between the cells.  The group was instructed on the rules.  They were allowed to enter the hall so long as they remain in the cellar.  So far everything that Lexa has promised them has been truthful and now was not the time to start doubting her. 

The group crowds the hall rejoicing in food and drink.  Jasper heads directly to the wine.  He looks through the bars where Clarke remained in her cell, alone. 

“Hey Sky Princess.  Let me pour you a drink.  Take it from me, it helps numb what you’re feeling.”  Jasper hands an overly filled wine glass through the bars to Clarke. 

She hesitated, but then said, “What the fuck.  Why not?”  She grabbed the glass.

By this point most had a drink and Octavia proposed a toast.  “To our new found friends. May our alliance hold true and peace be our future.”  The group cheered and continued their feast.

Kane appeared out of nowhere and Abby somehow managed to sneak to the far corner of the aisle to meet him immediately.  They were engaged in a private conversation.  Clarke glances when she sees him put his arms around her.  They seem to forget their company and kiss without concern.  Clarke had suspected something between them, but this confirmed it. 

She felt her stomach flip.  She wasn’t upset with Abby, she was jealous.  She wanted that kiss of comfort, that touch of reassurance.  She wanted to know Lexa was safe and she wanted more than anything to throw her arms around her neck and kiss her as she saw happening between Kane and Abby.  Kane closed his eyes at Abby’s touch and Clarke knew his feelings for her mother were sincere.

 A minute later, Clarke realized Kane must have been at Arkadia for the fight.  He knew what happened.  He knew if Lexa was alive or not.  She felt herself jump up and yell his name. 

“Kane!” Her glare is explanation enough.  She wanted the details, and she wanted them now.

The entire area fell silent and turned to look at Kane.  He smiled, though he looked nervous at the same time.

“No one has died yet.”  He reveals the confusing statement.

Clarke feels instant relief, but corresponding confusion.  All look to him for clarification.

“Look, I’m needed back in Arkadia.  We are moving the camp closer to here and I need to oversee that everything of value gets moved.  Raven, Sinclair,” He glances to both, “I will need you to come with me to make sure our technology and equipment get handled properly.”

Without hesitation both get up and move towards Kane.  He adds, “And Abby.  I need you to come to be sure the medical supplies are transferred properly.  And,” He speaks quieter, “to see to some injuries.”

“Injuries?”  Clarke’s short lived relief fades.  “Who is hurt?”  She can hardly get it out, knowing Lexa must be among the wounded.

Kane looks to Clarke, then spins throughout the crowd making eye contact with everyone. 

“Like I said, no one has died.  But the Commander and Pike did fight.”  He looks back to Clarke with sympathetic eyes, then finds a smile.

“The Commander has won.  She will see to the finality of Pike here in Polis in an execution ceremony that is to also be our allegiance of loyalty.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”  Raven is quick to ask the question.

Lincoln jumps in to give further details.  “It means any member of Skaikru that wants to be seen as a member of the alliance must participate in his execution.  He will die from as many cuts as there are Skaikru.” 

The group fell quiet again contemplating their own roles in the coming event.  Then Clarke asks, “But what happened in the fight?  Is she okay?”  She doesn’t even use her name, everyone knows who she is talking about.

“Both sustained substantial injuries, Clarke.  But it is nothing that Abby cannot easily take care of.”  Kane looks to Abby with a sense of urgency and she turns to Clarke.

“She won baby, it must not be too bad.” Now standing in front of her and reaching down to grab her hand, “I will take as good of care of her as I would you.  I know how much she means to you.” 

“But how are you guys able to just walk around freely?  We have been kept here as prisoners.”  Clarke asks the obvious question on many of their minds.

Kane continues to explain, “I have been given the title of interim leader of the Skaikru.  The Commander has made it clear that I am to oversee the move.  Anyone with me is given access as well.”

“Then take me with you!”  Clarke begins to walk through the cell.

“Wanheda.”  Titus steps between her and the door to the cell.  “I cannot allow you to leave.  I have been given strict orders to keep you here and safe until Heda returns.” 

“Fuck that.”  Clarke pushes Titus in his chest.  His pain is obvious as he cringes at the contact.  Yet he regains his balance and once again blocks her from exiting. 

“Clarke, the alliance is too fragile right now.  I agree it is best that you stay here.  We are only allowed 3 days to complete the move and that includes today.  We will not be long and Lexa will return with us.”  Kane tried to reason with Clarke even though her anger is now boiling.

Abby walks over to Titus and steps between them.  “Sometimes doing what is best for everyone is hard, honey.”  She Kisses Clarke on the cheek, steps back and before Clarke could see what was happening, she shut the cell door. 

“Mom.  Mom, no!”  Clarke yelled as she grabbed at the bars from inside the cell.  “Please just let me go.  I will disguise myself.  I need,” her voice softens, “I need to see her.”

“I love you Clarke.  I hope you can see we are doing this out of respect for the Commander.”  Abby speaks truthfully then turns to Kane. 

He turns back to Raven, Sinclair and Abby, “We really need to be going.  There is not much time to prepare.” 

With that they turn towards the stairwell and are gone.  Kane was there less than 10 minutes in total.  In that time Clarke has learned that Lexa is alive, but in need of medical attention.  She learned that Skaikru members will be participating in Pike’s death.  And also that Arkadia will be relocated with less than 3 days.  All Clarke can focus on is the 3 days.  She was prepared to wait 2, but adding more…she is not sure she can do it.

Finally accepting reality, she walks back and sits down on her trusty cot.  Her one consistency she has gotten use to down in the dark cell.  She looks up to see a new wine glass, filled to the brim. 

“Like I said, helps make what you’re feeling numb.”  Jasper reaches out offering her solace.  She accepts, and accepts, and accepts.  In fact, she has almost managed to deplete the entire supply sent for 20.  Well, except for the initial toast and the couple bottles that Jasper chose to drink himself.

Hours later she is almost asleep, but can hear the faint giggle of Octavia and the deep voice of Lincoln from across the room.  They are enjoying each other’s company, perhaps a little bit too loudly for the tight quarters. 

Clarke, inhibitions gone, barks out, “Will you two shut the fuck up?  Some of us are trying to sleep here.”  Then her body gives into exhaustion.

***

_Her head is throbbing and she sits up looking around.  It takes a moment for her eyes to adjust to almost total darkness and she can barely see that everyone is gone.  Even Titus, nowhere to be found.  The door to the cell is open._

_She thinks to herself this is her shot to get out.  To get to Arkadia.  To get to Lexa.  She doesn’t hesitate.  It only takes her a couple minutes to scale the winding staircase escape the cellar and to bypass the meeting hall._

_“Eeerrrkk,” she turns and sees the door to Lexa’s private room slowly closing._

_She pauses for a moment.  ‘How long was I asleep?’  She thinks to herself.  It surely would be possible that she slept the entire next day given she drank so much wine and she was completely exhausted.  Maybe Lexa was back.  Maybe everyone was gone because they were freed upon her arrival.  Maybe that is why the door was left open for her.  Lexa probably didn’t want to wake her up.  Clarke’s mind raced with possibilities._

_She decided she should enter Lexa’s room to see if indeed she was there or not.  Slowly and quietly she made her way down the hall and to the now closed bedroom door.  She didn’t knock, she just slowly opened the door._

_The room was faintly lit with candle light.  That was nothing out of the ordinary.  She entered and shut the door quietly behind her.  Glancing around the room she didn’t see Lexa, or anyone for that matter.  She moved to the bed section of the room.  Nothing.  She looked to her dressing area.  Nothing._

_“Splash.”  She heard the pouring of water and her heart skipped a beat.  She was nervous and scared.  “Splash.”  There is was again._

_She realized the noise must be coming from Lexa’s bathtub.  It was around the wall on the other side of the room.  Nervous and anxious she followed the water sounds.  Turning the corner like a spy she slowly entered the bathing room._

_She inhaled deeply as she stood about 10 feet behind Lexa who sit facing away from her in the bathtub.  Her breath must have been loud because Lexa responded._

_“Clarke, it that you?”  She asks gingerly as she pours more water over herself.  “I’ve been waiting for you.”_

_“Lexa, oh God.  Why didn’t you wake me?”  Clarke asks as she begins to approach the tub._

_“Come join me Clarke.”  Lexa’s voice is deeper.  It is almost unrecognizable._

_Clarke immediately slows down, startled by the curious voice._

_“Lexa?”  She asks as if expecting something to be wrong given the odd nature of her voice._

_Then she looks into the bathtub.  Lexa splashes again, but this time it is not water that she bathe in.  The tub is a deep maroon as Lexa lay in a bath of blood.  Someone’s blood.  Whose blood?_

_“Lexa, oh my God.”  Clarke shouts.  She moves to the side, now afraid to move forward._

_Lexa turns to her and reveals her face.  A deep gash occupies the right side of her face and her eyes…her eyes are black.  Clarke can’t believe it.  It can’t be.  How could her eyes be black?  The green she fell in love with was gone, just absent.  She steps backwards away from her._

_“Join me Clarke.”  Lexa giggles revealing her teeth from which black blood now oozes out.  Seductively, she raised her eyebrow revealing white bone underneath her gash.  “I’ve missed you.”_

_Clarke is frozen.  She cannot move.  She cannot scream.  Time seems to be in slow motion.  She watches as Lexa exit the bathtub completely naked.  Her body laced in blood as she advances towards Clarke.  All Clarke can do is shut her eyes.  She closes them and feels a wet touch on her shoulder.  Every nerve, every muscle, every effort in her focuses on releasing the loudest noise she can make.  Finally, she screams._

***

“Clarke.” Titus’ voice jolts her awake.  He is putting a wet cloth on her head and squeezing her shoulder.  “I think you have a fever.  Your head is burning up and you must be dreaming terrible nightmares.” 

Breathing deeply, Clarke gains awareness off her surroundings and is relieved.  Almost.  Gone is the devilish version of Lexa she met in her dream. But, gone is still Lexa.  Her heart sank again wondering how she is and just how injured she really was.

Titus hands Clarke two pills.  “Abby said these would help you if the pain came back in your head.” 

“She left those for you Titus, not me.”  Clarke, though scared half to death, isn’t oblivious.

“Even so.” Titus reaches to her further with the pills.  She accepts them.  She reaches for her wine glass to have something to swallow them with.

“Ah, I think this may be of better use to you right now.”  He hands her a glass of water.  She gives him a half smile and takes it. 

The Sun has already risen and Clarke is relieved she does not have to fall back asleep.  She is not sure what was going on in her dreams, nightmares rather, but she is not interested in returning to them anytime soon.

***

Riding quickly, Kane, Raven, Sinclair and Abby make good time returning to Arkadia.  They are pleased to see Skaikru and grounders working together to take apart and move major components of the fallen ark.  Lexa is there delegating tasks better than most CEO’s.  It is clear she has not slept.

“Commander.”  Kane approaches her from behind.

“Kane.  Glad to see you are back quickly, and you have help.” 

“Yes.  This is Raven and Sinclair.  They should really be the ones overseeing the technology and engineering wings in their moves.” 

“Ya, I don’t want my shit getting broken by some idiot.”  Raven says nonchalantly, not realizing she was speaking directly to the Commander. 

Perhaps it was sleep deprivation, but Lexa lets it go.  “Then get going.”  She says, nodding her head a good bye in the process.  “And her?”  She asks motioning to Abby. 

“Commander, this is Abby, Clarke’s mom.”  Kane introduces the two. 

The situation is surely awkward.  Especially as Lexa’s swelling has progressed.  Her eyes are nearly swollen shut and the bruising is so dark it could replace her war paint.  Lexa does not want to show weakness, especially in front of Clarke’s mother.

She nods her head to Abby and says, “I have heard much about you, Abby.  I’m sorry we have to meet under these circumstances, and without Clarke.” 

“Well I’m glad we were able to work out a solution peacefully.  I know Clarke will be proud.” 

With that Lexa can’t help but smile slightly with pride.  The motion clearly painful as she immediately retracted.

“That looks like it could use a little work.”  Abby reaches into touch Lexa’s head.

“I’m quite fine.” Stoic Lexa returns.

Abby paused for a moment.  This was the Commander.  Certainly she should be cautious of her verbiage, but this was also the woman her daughter clearly had feelings for.  She promised Clarke she would look after her.  She can’t let her wounds go unattended.   Knowing Lexa would not want to give in in front of her warriors Abby cleverly rewords the question.

“Perhaps I can show you around the medical center.  There are many things there that you will find are useful to your people.” 

Lexa knows, but she gives in.  “That would be lovely.” 

The two walk off towards the medical center side by side.

“So,” Abby begins to push the boundaries, “Clarke was very upset she was not able to accompany us on this trip.” 

Lexa clenches her jaw.  She wants Clarke there, but she knows any traitor who wants to ruin what was happening would only need to attack her to destroy the alliance.  She is putting Clarke’s safety first and Abby knows it.

“I told her it wasn’t safe for her.  Commander, you were right.”  Abby speaks before Lexa has to explain.  “She is really mad at me, but I hope she will understand.”

Lexa nods acknowledging her approval for Abby’s decision.  They are now in the medical bay.  No one else is there.  Lexa specifically told everyone to wait to touch it.  Abby gestures to a cleared table for Lexa to sit.  She does.  She continues to engage in small talk while she preps to clean and stitch Lexa’s cut.  She also grabs two ice bags for the obvious swelling going on.

“You know, Clarke was going to follow in my footsteps.  Become a doctor.”  Abby continues while wiping an alcohol swab across her cut.  Lexa winces back in pain but says nothing.  She waits for the but of Abby’s story.

“But, she fell in love with her artwork instead.  That’s not to say she hasn’t picked up quite a few skills from me along the way.” 

“Clarke is very talented.  I’ve seen her work.”  Lexa thinks back to the portrait Clarke made of her while she was sleeping.  Her stomach ached as she longed to be near her again.

“Yes she is.”  Abby added.  The conversation was surface, but both felt the meaning underneath.  Lexa knew Abby cared deeply about her daughter.  She knew she wanted to ensure her safety and happiness.  They were just scratching the surface on understanding each other.  After all, they had a very common ally in Clarke. 

“Looks like that will do it.  Only took 4 stitches, just hit you in a place that bleeds really badly.”  Abby turns to clean and pack the medical gear.  Lexa hesitated.  4 Stitches, Clarke had 20 in her head.  She felt even worse being away from her.    

Lexa stood up off of the table.  “Thank you Abby.”  She said as she began to walk away.

“Wait, hold on.  I have one more thing to show you.”  Abby grabs the two ice bags and waves Lexa in the opposite direction.

She leads her down the main hallway in what was Arkadia.  She is surprised at how much is already moved. This used to be the cafeteria.  She points, Lexa curiously glancing in all directions.  They continue and turn toward the sleeping quarters.  Metal doors line the hallway.  Abby stops at one and opens it.  Once inside she flips the switch to light it up. 

A little startled by the sudden light, Lexa jumped back. 

“Electricity is an amazing thing.  It’s something we can help make available to those who need or want it.”  Abby says with pride. 

“What is this?”  Lexa asks, but she doesn’t need to.  The drawings posted on the walls tell her this was Clarke’s room.  Sunsets, wildlife, and abstract shapes are haphazardly hung everywhere.

“This was Clarke’s room”, Abby answers the obvious question.  “I was thinking she may want some of this.  Seeing as she can’t be here, and seeing as I have to oversee the medical bay move, I thought maybe you would like to bring her something back.” 

It was a sweet gesture.  Surely Abby could have gotten anyone to pack Clarke’s room, but she knew Lexa would take pride and care with it.  She thought maybe it would help Lexa grow her appreciation for her daughter too.  A little insurance if you will for maintaining her word. 

“I think I can do that.”  Lexa responds still looking around the room. 

“These ice bags would do wonders for your eyes right now.  I’m sure Clarke wouldn’t mind if you sat here for a while.”  Abby motioned to the bed.  Lexa was obviously exhausted, but on edge.  She thought offering her Clarke’s room may make her comfortable enough to take care of herself.

“Thank you.”  Lexa gives Abby a small smile. 

“Great.  Just let me know when you’re done and we can get someone to load up the boxes.”  Abby turns and shuts the door behind her.  She does have a lot of work to do, but now she can check one thing off the list.

Lexa sits down on Clarke’s bed and continues to examine her artwork.  She zones in on one particular piece.  It is abstract, or at least it is an attempt to be.  Lexa can make out several images within it.  There is Mount Weather, but irregular rays extend from it in all directions.  There is an outline of a girl, but she is hollow.  Bolts of lightning flood out of her eyes.  In the sky are two dark clouds with an emerald haze. 

Lexa’s stomach sinks.  It is her.  She is the dark cloud.  Clarke is the hollowed out shell.  This work is her pain after Mount Weather.  Regret sucks.  Lexa rarely had regrets.  This was one.

She carefully placed the image in the first box of many she would painstakingly pack.  After almost everything was packed she sat again on Clarke’s bed.  She reached for the ice packs.  They were mostly melted, but still cold.  They felt like heaven on her swollen face.  She leaned back and laid on Clarke’s bed.  She pulled her pillow to her chest and inhaled.  It still smelled of Clarke, faint but Clarke nonetheless.

She exhaled deeply and slowly inhaled again.  She did not want her scent to go away, ever.  She thought to herself, maybe she should deliver this to Clarke herself.  Maybe a meeting with the 12 ambassadors was in order.  It wasn’t.  But Lexa could force it early.  She was caving.  She was desperate.  Her last image was of Clarke’s smile, then her eyes were shut.  She fell into a deep sleep.  Her body was thankful.

 

  

 

 


	9. Return to Polis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa makes excuses to return to Polis for a brief meeting with the 13 ambassadors before overseeing the closure of Arkadia.

Lexa had no concept of time when she woke in Clarke’s bed.  There were no windows and still in the dark from the night before, she wasn’t even sure if day had come or even passed.  She lay there for a moment before getting up, imagining what Clarke felt when she woke in this same place.  She wondered if Clarke would miss her place at all on the Ark. 

The last thing she packed were the linens and pillows she had just slept on.  She thought perhaps it would make a nice touch if she did feel home sick.  She opened the door allowing the bright light of day to fill the room.  Clearly she slept longer than intended and now felt the need to make up for it. 

Walking back the way she came she was pleased to notice only the structure itself remained.  All furniture, equipment and people had already evacuated the area.  Walking past the medical bay she found Abby packing what looked like one of only a few boxes to go. 

“Commander!”  Abby said startled.  “Did you sleep well?  Can I take another look at you?” 

Lexa smiled and walked over to Abby.  There were no tables to sit on so she just stood in front of her. 

“Wow, your swelling went way down.”  Abby said relieved that the blows may not have been as bad as she first anticipated. 

Looking at her reflection in the metal wall, Lexa could see her face indeed was less swollen, but was a mixture of black and purple in color.  Both eyes, cheeks and even her forehead were as if she covered them in paint.  Recognizing her concern, Abby tried to make Lexa feel better.

“If you keep icing the bruising will heal quicker.  I can also give you something for pain if you would like.  And, the stiches, they are looking great.  I can probably take those out in a just a few days.”

“Thank you for your care, Abby.  Clarke was correct when she said your skills will be an asset to our people.”  Lexa adds, “You can remove the stitches back in Polis, but I will not need anything further.”

Abby isn’t surprised at how Lexa refused the pain medication.  She surely has mastered hiding her pain both physically and emotionally.

“How is the medical bay move going?  It looks as if you are almost complete.”  Lexa’s tone is all business now.

“Yes, well I haven’t slept, nor have the dozen or so that have been helping me.  We have about one more truck to load and that should be the last of it.”  She looks to Lexa with concern.  “When we get there, these supplies should really be a clean, sterile environment.  If we have to live in temporary tents for a while I fear I may lose the integrity of some of my supplies.”

“Actually, you make a great point, Abby.”  Lexa continues, “I am planning to host a meeting with all 13 ambassadors today to discuss the building of your new home as well as the completion of Pike’s execution.  I would like for you to attend.  Then we can be certain that the plans for the new medical building will be sufficient for your needs.  If you can be spared from the move, will you attend?”  Lexa is asking her not telling her.  Surely change is in the air.

“Well, like I said, this is the last load.  I can ride back with the truck to Polis this afternoon and sleep on the way.  So yes, I think that is a great idea Commander.”  Abby smiles, clearly aware of her importance as not only a medical expert but as Clarke’s mother.  She assumes some of the extra respect Lexa is giving her is due to that latter point.

“Is there room for me to ride with you?  I would surely make it there faster in your, truck?”  She hesitated unsure of what they call their vehicles again.

“I will make sure we have room for you Commander, yes in our truck.  Let me notify the team right now.”  She turns and walks out of the room with a new energy in her step.

Lexa follows her out.  It seems like a new place.  Most of the area was deconstructed and already on the move.  It’s amazing how fast people can work when there is a deadline.  And, perhaps when they know there is an impending execution.  Surely no one would want to “join” the festivities directly.  She continues walking around until she finds a crew of about 6 grounders loading boxes into a rover. 

“Commander, good morning!”  She is welcomed with several smiles and bows of respect.  “The move has been working out just as planned.  Is there anything we can assist you with?” 

“Actually, yes.  I have about 12 boxes inside that need to get added to the medical truck.  I believe it will be leaving shortly, so please see to this right away.   I will show you the way.”

The crew leader yells to his group and quickly an additional 5 grounders show up.  They are eager to assist the Commander directly and follow her with purpose.  She leads them to Clarke’s room. 

“Here, these need to be loaded onto the medical truck leaving shortly.  Please see to it that these boxes are moved and loaded with care.  If there is room, I would also like 2 of you to travel with us on the truck and unload them as I instruct you to once we arrive.” 

Before she can finish her last word, all members volunteer.  “Excellent.” She responds.  “I’ll let you decide who will accompany us.”  Before she walks out of the room, she grabs the box that contains Clarke’s pillows.  She will hold this on her lap during the trip. 

***

“So, what exactly is a ‘Flame Keeper’ anyway?”  Clarke, bored out of her mind asks Titus from across their cell. 

Reluctant to answer her, but remembering his new duty is to her, he responds vaguely. “Heda was chosen by the past Commanders.  Their spirits live on within her.  They assist in advising her and guiding her.  When the time comes for Heda to pass on, I will see to it that her spirit, as well as those of the past Commanders will become one with the next Commander.” 

To Titus it makes perfect sense.  To Clarke, he just sounds like an overly confident believer.  She pushed him.  “So, how exactly does one become one with the next Commander?” 

“I remove the spirit from Heda, and put it in the next.”  He does not give away any additional details. 

Feeling herself roll her eyes, Clarke is about to continue to press Titus when a familiar voice distracts her. 

“Hey there Clarke.”  Bellamy is smiling as he walks up to her from the outside of the cell. 

“Bellamy!  When did you get here?  The others have been back for hours.  Are you okay?  Is everything going okay?” Clarke is relieved to see her friend and ally.

“I am fine.  The Commander gave me the responsibility of getting Pike here.  I couldn’t afford to allow him to die along the way, so we had to stop to let him rest a few times as we travelled.” 

“Pike, I don’t see him.  Where is he?”  Clarke asks more because she knows he was about to execute her friends and is wanting to take a shot at him herself.  Not to mention, she isn’t sure how much damage he caused to Lexa during their fight.

“He is being held in a different room, upstairs.”  Titus glances at Bellamy as he understands just what room he refers to.  Bellamy goes on, “Did you hear what happened?  The Commander fought him one on one in order to save us.  She saved O, Clarke.  I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to pull it off, but the Commander came through.”  Bellamy sounds like a child bragging to his parents.  He has finally realized what Clarke has recognized long ago, that what Lexa brings is hope for a future, not hate and death. 

“Yes, they told me she did that for us.  But, no one here was there for the fight.  We really don’t know what happened to her, or him.”  She begs for details as she looks back at Bellamy.

“Well, Pike got the upper hand out of the gate.”  Clarke’s stomach drops at his words.  “He hit her over and over for what seemed liked minutes.  I was ready to shoot him if he would have won.  But, the Commander was very patient and clever in her maneuvers.  She kicked him in the nuts harder than I’ve ever seen it done.  That really pissed him off.  When he came running for her, she used his own weight to break his arm.”

A little bit of pride forms in Clarke’s face as she hears of how Lexa defeated Pike. 

“She finally got him on the ground and could have broken his neck.  She stopped.  She told the crowd that his death belonged to the Skaikru who he misrepresented in the massacre of the alliance.”

“How did she end up giving you the job of transporting him?  I mean, you were one of his soldiers.  Why did she trust you?”  Clarke asks somewhat confused by Lexa’s logic.

“Well, Pike expected me to kill her if it looked like she was going to win.  He called for me to shoot her in front of everyone.”  Bellamy paused and looked down to the ground.  “I couldn’t do it.  I wouldn’t.  I shouldn’t have killed the grounders with him either.  I knew I couldn’t follow him anymore.  So, I laid down my weapon in front of the Commander and said I support Skaikru as the 13th clan.  I guess that did it.” 

“And, she is okay?  She is still in Arkadia?”  Clarke asks for more details.

“I left right after the fight.  I know she said she was going to stay and oversee the move of Arkadia.  I know she was hurt, but not enough to stop her from doing what needed to be done.”

Clarke believed him.  After all, that sounded like Lexa.  “Thank you Bellamy, for being on our side.”

He hesitated, regret in his voice.  “I’m only sorry I wasn’t sooner.”  Looking back up, he saw Octavia in another cell.  Clarke nodded to him that it was okay to leave her in order to catch up with Octavia. 

Clarke sat back down, watching Bellamy greet the other members of Skaikru with smiles.  She was relieved.  Relieved that Lexa was alive.  Relived that Lexa proved herself loyal to Skaikru.  Relived that Bellamy and the others were beginning to see Lexa for who Clarke knew her to be.

***

The medical truck has been in route for a couple hours and is nearing Polis.  Abby lay sleeping in the back amongst several packed boxes and equipment and two very uncomfortable but privileged grounders.  Lexa sit in the front passenger seat holding a box on her lap that smells like home, while a Skiakru member drives.  This is the driver’s third trip, so he has a good idea of how to navigate the route.

“It’s amazing this survived the nuclear war.”  The driver makes small talk with Lexa.

She is somewhat curious.  This is all she has ever known.  Survival in the environment.  Survival living with enemies.  Survival for your people.  He has no idea what it has taken her people to make it this far, but to her, it is just how they survive.  Then she looks down into the box sitting on her lap.  She can smell Clarke on her pillow leaning out of the top.  She considers for a minute what Clarke’s people have had to do to survive.  They formed a community in space.  They reconfigured everything they knew about technology and community and sacrifice to survive.  They were the ones that should be admired, she thought.

“Yes, it is really quite amazing.”  She said the words as she stroked the pillow with her thumb.

Taking another sharp turn, Polis finally came into view.  Suddenly Lexa was nervous.  She hopes the fire that has started between her and Clarke can burn on even after the strain she has placed on it.  Her mind wonders on ways she intends to try to make it up to Clarke.

***

Bellamy had spent about an hour or so talking with the others.  They were all getting anxious about finishing the execution.  The longer it took, the more nervous they got that something could possibly change the Commander’s mind.  Two guards enter the holding area an approach Clarke’s cell.  They stop in front of the door and unlock it. 

“Heda, please come with us.”  The two do not offer any explanation.  Clarke has been waiting here for over two days straight and all of a sudden they are pulling her out.

“Why?  Where are you taking me?”  She asks accusingly.

“Your presence as the Ambassador of the 13th clan is needed in a discussion.”  They divulge a little information.

“Heda has told Clarke to remain here until she has returned.  Until the execution is complete.”  Titus pipes up stepping firming into his new role in protecting her. 

“Heda is here.”  The guard snaps back.  “And she has ordered us to retrieve Wanheda for the meeting.”

With the notion that Lexa had returned, Clarke had thrown fear and reason into the wind.  She was ready to follow these guards anywhere.

“Then I will accompany her.”  Titus steps between Clarke and the open cell door.

“Very well.”  The first guard responds adding more, “You are not being held as a prisoner anyway.” 

With this knowledge Clarke looks to Titus.  He is not surprised at the news.  He knows he is free to leave, but has stayed in the cell with Clarke because his duty is to protect her.  For the first time in a while, Clarke actually feels bad for Titus.  She looks to him with a half-smile, acknowledging his sacrifice for her.

The two guards step aside, “This way Wanheda.”

They lead them up the winding staircase past the floor where meetings occur.  Titus hesitates before following them future up. 

“The meeting will be held shortly.  Heda thought Clarke would want to freshen up before attending.”  She had been held in a cell for over 48 hours.  It was a reasonable thing to believe.  They continued their journey and were led to Lexa’s private chamber.

“Clarke, we will wait here while you freshen up.  Then we will escort you to the meeting.”  The guards take post at either side of the door’s entrance.  Clearly Lexa had instructed them not to leave her side. 

“Titus, if you want to freshen up too, I think I am okay here.”  She looks to the giant guards on either side of the door.

“Thank you Wanheda, but I think I will wait until after the execution is complete.”  Even if he did trust the guards, he was not about to fail Lexa twice.  He has sworn to protect Clarke, and this was not a time to take chances.  He sat in the hallway across from Lexa’s door, waiting for Clarke to return.

Clarke entered the room.  Her first thought was that Lexa would be there.  She looked around the room, but there was no sign of her.  She was not near the bed, the changing area, nor the balcony.  She walked to the bathing area on the other side of the wall.  She hesitated, remembering her dream, but pushed past her fear and entered.  The tub was empty, but the room was warm.  Lexa had been there.

She looked around the floor and saw the clothes Lexa had been wearing in a pile.  They smelled of sweat and blood.  Clarke’s stomach sank knowing the pain and work Lexa had put into this.  She was here.  That’s all Clarke could think about. 

There was a knock at the door.  Her body bolted.  She returned to the door.  Titus spoke to her through the crack she revealed as she opened it. 

“Wanheda, warm water has been brought for you to bathe if you like.”

Opening the door further, Clarke allowed 4 orderlies in, each with two buckets of warm water.  “Thank you.”  She said as they passed.  They were gone as quickly as they came.

Alone again, Clarke took advantage of the warm bath.  She could finally relax.  The heat helped to ease her tense muscles, and the soaps smelled of Lexa.  She only wished Lexa could be there with her.  The real Lexa, not the creepy one from her dream.

Stepping out of the tub and drying off, Clarke looked around for what she may wear.  Her clothes were out of the question.  She found herself rummaging through Lexa’s drawers.  At the start it was completely innocent.  She found a pair of black pants and a grey shirt.  They were snug on her, but she managed to stretch out their forgiving material.  Glancing at her reflection she thought the tightness actually enhanced her look.  No curve had a place to hide.  Her shirt was tight enough to act more like a corset pushing up more cleavage than Clarke was used to showing off. 

She considered looking for a different option, but was distracted by something else she found in her drawer, hidden in the back.  It took a second for Clarke to place where she had seen it before, but then it stuck her.  It was the arm brace she made for Lexa after they were chased and encaged by the Gorilla on ‘radio-roids’.  She would recognize the knots anywhere.  It was one of the first things her mother taught her about first aid. 

She pulled the wrap out of the drawer and a dried white flower fell to the floor.  It was hidden within the wrap.  It was the same type of wildflower that grew near Mount Weather.  Why Lexa would do that, Clarke wondered.  She felt the pain flood back in as she recalled standing there abandoned by Lexa with her people dying inside.  She could have let it boil.  She could have let the emotion get the best of her, but instead she chose to focus on what Lexa just did for her people.  _Perhaps the flower was for regret_.  This is what she chose to see instead of the pain that could have ruminated inside her.  It was this kind of choosing that Clarke and Lexa would both rely upon in order for things to work out.  Work out for their people, and to work out for them.

Picking the flower up off of the floor, Clarke replaced it within the brace and returned both to the drawer.  She was startled by a knock on the door.

“Wanheda,” Titus is calling for her.  “The meeting is about to begin.”

She stands up straight and is about to walk to the door, but doubles back to her dirty clothes sitting in a pile of the floor.  She searches her pockets and pulls out the headpiece that Lexa had delivered to her.  She held it in her hand for a minute, debating with herself.  She went to Lexa’s dresser and using a little of her adhesive, she placed the headpiece on her own head.  She didn’t really consider how it may impact anything, she just felt the need to display her support for Lexa in all that she has done for her people.

Leaving her clothes behind, she leaves Lexa’s room.  She follows the two guards and walks side by side with Titus to the meeting hall.  The guards remain outside of the meeting room, but Titus enters with her.  He escorts her to a chair that is seated directly in front of Lexa’s wooden throne.  They face the same direction, essentially making it impossible for Clarke to see Lexa, as she would be directly behind her.

Chairs are aligned in a circle and Clarke watch as additional Ambassadors take their places.  She tries to eavesdrop on their conversations, but there are too many occurring for her to focus on anyone.  That is until she hears a familiar voice.  She is confused, how could her mother be part of the Ambassador meeting, Clarke thinks to herself.  Sure enough, there was Abby, walking through the doors.  She immediately spots Clarke and walks directly to her.

“Hi Honey.  How is your head?  Can I take a look please?”  She reaches to touch Clarke’s head, but Clarke pulls away before she can.

“Mom, why are you here?  Does Lexa know you are here?”  Clarke is beginning to feel annoyed about constantly being out of the loop. 

Abby smiles, “Of course, Honey.  She invited me here.”  With that the Ambassador from Trikru stands to get everyone’s attention.

“Please rise.”  His order means Heda is entering.  Everyone stands and Clarke scans the room looking for Lexa.  When her head returns back to the circle she realizes she is the only one still standing.  Everyone else has begun to kneel.  She quickly drops to her knees embarrassed.  As she does she can see out of her peripheral vision a red cape and black boots walk swiftly past her.  Her senses were heighten as her eyes were mainly blinded to her surroundings.  She could smell the scent left in the breeze as Lexa passed.  Clarke inhaled deeply and smiled.  It was her.  She is here.

Abby was seated directly next to Clarke, as was Titus on the other side.  All three of them were unable to see Lexa as she took her throne.  Lexa didn’t waste any time before starting.

“You were asked here today because we have a few important matters to discuss.” 

Clarke can feel the goose bumps develop on her arms as she hears Lexa’s voice behind her.  Her focus on her voice is intense.  The walls could fall down around her and she couldn’t focus on anything else.

“As you may have heard, we were successful in defeating the threat with the 13th clan.  Pike is being held here until his execution.  We must discuss the terms of his execution.  I want every clan to be satisfied with these decisions so that the acceptance as Skaikru as the 13th clan will be universal.”  She looks to the Ambassador from the clan who sustained the majority of losses in Pikes attack.

“Ambassador,” She addresses him directly. “We cannot bring back your loss.  You were impacted the most by Pike’s dictatorship.  How do you propose he is executed?”  She stands and begins to walk in his direction.  Clarke can hear her movement and wants so badly to turn to look at her.  She does not.  She does not want to break respect during the meeting.

“Heda.”  The Ambassador responds.  “More than 300 of our warriors were taken.  Surely all of their families would want their slice of this Pike.  But, I am sure the coward wouldn’t survive 300 cuts.”  He goes on as Lexa nears him.  Lexa’s back is to Clarke, but she can see her black boots poking out of her red cloak.  Her hair hangs in intricate braids.  They are fresh and seem damp.  She really was just in her room before Clarke was.

“That is something we agree on.”  Lexa says sarcastically.  Most members of the group snicker at the comment.

The Ambassador continues, “Perhaps, if his own warriors provided the cuts it would be something my people could accept.”  The group is silent and wait for Heda’s response.

“There are fewer of them.”  She comments and then adds, “Which of the Skaikru would you expect to hold this honor?”  She asks more for the clarification for the entire group.

“Well, Heda, I think those that participated in the massacre should be the ones to execute him.”  With that he sits having completed his answer.

Chatter creeps out amongst the other Ambassadors as they contemplate the suggestion.  Most seem satisfied with it, but the Ambassador from Azgeda protests.

“Why are those involved not killed alongside Pike?  Are they not murders just like him?”  Clarke freezes as she realizes Bellamy would be one of those to which she is referring.  Without waiting her turn, she shouts out.

“They didn’t have a choice.  Pike ordered them to do what they did.  He would have killed them if they refused.  He was in the process of killing them when Heda saved…”  While she was arguing and focused on the Ambassador from Azgeda, Clarke didn’t notice that Lexa had walked up behind her.  In mid-sentence, Lexa, standing behind Clarke’s chair, placed her hands on Clarke’s shoulders.  An electric shock flooded Clarke’s body at her touch and she stopped speaking instantly.

Lexa slowly pushing on her shoulders, eased Clarke back into her seat. 

“It seems word travels quickly.”  Lexa says smiling to those that can see her.  “It is true.  Pike was executing his own people for disagreeing with his plan.  I did defeat him.  I did save them because they are my people.  Our people.  They are the 13 th clan.”

Lexa removed her hands from the now sitting Clarke but brushed the back of her neck in the process.  It sent chills down Clarke’s spine.  Lexa then sat in her wooden throne.

“The execution with stop with Pike.”  Clarke exhaled in relief as Heda made the final decision.

She adds, “Those involved will not be the only ones to participate in the execution, however.  All former Skaikru who seek to accept the alliance will be asked to show their allegiance.  Each will cut Pike.  The final cut will be made by their new leader, Kane.  After this his body will be burned and family members of the victims are free to take of his ashes and do as they see fit.  When this is completed, all Skaikru members shall be free to do as they may, within the rules of our alliance of course.”

Most members seem satisfied at the decision.  Their silence is signal for Heda to move on. 

“I have made the old grounds of Arkadia a kill zone.  All members who support the alliance are already in the process of moving their belongings and themselves to a temporary camp just outside of Polis.  I will expect each clan to contribute several workers to aid in constructing their new home.  And, in return, the engineers and medical staff from Skaikru will travel to each of your clans.  They will provide assistance in upgrading your medical facilities, as well as provide electricity and other technologies we are currently not capable of.”

Again, chatter breaks out amongst the Ambassadors.  Heda stands to walk towards them.  Most back down as she approaches.

“Are there concerns with the plans to integrate the 13th clan?”  She scans the room looking for defiance.

“We have heard of some of these technologies, Heda.”  A nervous Ambassador comments.  “And, we are eager to see how they can help our clans.”

Lexa seems pleased with their acceptance.  She continues to walk and stops at Abby’s side.  She is still out of view for Clarke.

“This is Abby Griffin.”  Heda places her hand on Abby’s shoulder.  “She is in charge of Skaikru’s medical facilities.  In order for her equipment to be effective certain measures must be taken.  Abby, would you mind sharing some details with our Ambassadors?  We will also have a follow up meeting with the building crew.”

Abby stands and starts talking about preservation, refrigeration, battery back-ups and sterilization.  She goes on to talk about certain medications and their abilities.  The Ambassadors are respectful and accept that what she is saying is far over their heads.  But they pay attention and ask questions for clarification.  She has been speaking for what seems like 20 minutes or more. 

In that time, Heda has sat in Abby’s seat.  She is right next to Clarke.  Clarke doesn’t hear Abby speak.  All she can do is try to look at Lexa.  She raises her right hand to her face and leans her elbow on her chair.  She holds her head in her hand and tilts her head so she can look directly at Lexa.  Lexa is looking forward, focused on Abby. 

Clarke does not break from her view of Lexa.  She can see that her face is bruised and that she has a few stiches above her cheekbone. She notices that Lexa is absentmindedly rubbing her index finger against the chair.  Clarke pleads to be the chair so she can feel her touch.  She thinks Abby may speak for an eternity, then suddenly she is finished.  Lexa stands and returns back to her throne.

“Thank you for your time and patience.  I truly know all of us will be better off together, in peace.  I must return to Arkadia to see to the final closure of the land.  The execution will be at sunset tomorrow evening.”  She address Clarke directly.  “Wanheda, you will inform the members of Skaikru that they must attend tomorrow evening.  Please stay after this meeting, I have a few additional aspects to discuss with you.” 

Being mentioned directly makes Clarke feel it is okay to turn and face Heda directly.  She turns in her chair and for the first time can see the full impact of her bruising.  He face falls at the sight.  Lexa does not allow herself to react.

“Of course, Heda.  I will stay.”  Clarke responds respectfully.

With that, the room empties as the other Ambassadors are dismissed.  Abby gives Clarke a good bye glance, “I want to check out your stiches when you are finished please.” 

Titus informs Clarke that he will wait for her outside of the meeting hall.  When they have both gone, only she and Lexa remained.  When the doors close, Clarke can hear Lexa stand and walk away from her throne.  She turns and finds her only a few steps away.

“Heda.”  Clarke says somewhat stiffly, nervously.

“Hi Clarke.”  Lexa sits once again in the chair directly next to her. She notices the headpiece on Clarke’s forehead and smiles. 

“What?”  Clarke responds with a smile of her own. 

Lexa drops her look and in the process notices her own clothes on Clarke’s body.  Her eyes linger on Clarke’s chest a bit longer than they should.

“My things look better on you than they do on me?”  Lexa responds with another smile.

Clarke can’t take it any longer and breaks the distance between them.  She reaches out and grabs Lexa’s hand with her own.  Her other hand goes directly to Lexa’s cheek. 

“Are you okay?”  Clarke makes eye contact full of concern.  She traces Lexa’s stiches gently, recognizing the work.  “My mother did this?” 

“I am fine Clarke.  Yes, she showed me much concern and care.  Probably more than I needed.”  Lexa, being always the hard ass made Clarke smile in relief.

They pause there for a few minutes just looking at each other.  Clarke strokes the back of Lexa’s hand, trying with all of her restraint to hold back everything else she feels the urge to do.  Starting to stand, Lexa stops her.

“Clarke, I do have to return to Arkadia as soon as possible.”  Her words cut disappointment and she can see it realized in Clarke’s eyes.  “I will only be one more day.  Then there will be the execution, and then you are totally free.”

“Speaking of free, how am I supposed to notify Skaikru members while I’m locked in a cell in the basement?”  Her tone is a little bitter, and Lexa can feel the need to start making up some ground.

“About that.” Lexa stands and pulls Clarke’s hand for her to join.

“During our meeting I sent the guards to release everyone within the cells.  They are all going to meet you shortly in your new chambers.”

“My new chambers?”  Clarke doesn’t quite understand.

Lexa smiles, “Something else I arranged to be done during this meeting.  Come, follow me.  I will show you.”  Lexa pulls Clarke along as they leave the meeting hall.  Clarke, a little annoyed still being in the dark about most things, can’t help but ignore those feelings to make room for the butterflies filling her due to Lexa’s touch.  She follows obediently.  Titus, watching them walk away, doesn’t interrupt.

“I know you can trust those that were being held with you in the cells.  You will inform them of the execution details and they will spread the word.  I still cannot allow you to travel on your own until after the execution.”  Before Clarke had a second to protest, Lexa continued, “But, I made sure that you will be more comfortable waiting in your new chambers compared to the cell.”

When she finished the sentence she had stopped walking.  They stood outside of a door that Clarke was unfamiliar with.  She was on the same floor as Lexa’s room, but she had never been to this particular room before. 

“Go ahead, this is where you can stay until the execution ceremony tomorrow evening.”  Lexa lets go of Clarke’s hand and motions for her to open the door.

Curiosity getting the best of her, Clarke opens the door.  Immediately she recognizes that she recognizes everything.  This was her stuff.  Her paintings, her drawings, her pillows even.  She walked into the room and grabbed her pillow.  She pulled it to her face.  It smelled of home, but it also smelled of Lexa.  She liked the mixture.

“You did this?”  Clarke asked trying to hide her smile.  Lexa followed her into the room, shutting the door behind her.  She sat down on the bed now adorning Clarke’s linens.  She looked to where the drawing of a crying woman on Mount Weather hung.  Holding back a tear Lexa responded.

“I know I have a lot of making up to do.  I want you to feel at home, Clarke.  I want you to be comfortable.  Most of all, I want you to be happy.  Please know I am sincere when I say after the completion of the execution tomorrow, you are free to go as you desire.” 

Clarke sat down beside Lexa, still taking in the grand gesture.  She thought about giving her a hard time.  After all, she held her in a cell for over 2 days.  But looking into Lexa’s eyes surrounded by the evidence of her loyalty, Clarke couldn’t give her a hard time.  She again brushed her thumb along Lexa’s cheekbone. 

“I have a few ideas of what may help.”  Clarke is referring to what will make her happy, what she desires, and where she wants to go, all wrapped into one thing…Lexa.  “Are you sure you have to go?  Can’t you stay just a little while?”  This was her first desire, to just be with Lexa for a little while.

Lexa fell back onto Clarke’s bed releasing a sigh.  She tugs Clarke’s hand as she falls, pulling her down on top of her.  Clarke catches herself on her elbow so not to crash into the already bruised Lexa.  Lexa reaches up and runs her hand through Clarke’s hair.

“I missed you, Clarke.”  Her hand leaves Clarke’s hair and brushes against Clarke’s lips. Clarke feels a spark echo though her.  She gently allows herself down on top of Lexa.  Lexa takes advantage of their closeness and kisses Clarke on the lips.  It is one soft kiss.  Lexa holds Clarke’s bottom lip between her own.  Both close their eyes, wishing time could freeze in that moment.

Clarke breaks away, smiling.  “I do have one request.” 

“What’s that?”

“When you return, that same night, no excuses, I want you to stay here with me all night long.”  Clarke slaps her hand on top of her bed. 

Lexa sits up, Clarke straddling her lap, “Now, that is an invitation I cannot refuse.”  She reaches up kissing Clarke again.  This time it is more intense.  Clarke parts her lips allowing Lexa access.  She doesn’t hesitate.  Her tongue brushes the length of Clarke’s mouth and Clarke lets out a gentle moan.  Returning the passion, Clarke runs her hands down Lexa’s back and squeezes a tight embrace. 

Lexa’s lips drop from Clarke’s.  They migrate to her neck and then to her shoulder.  She pushes Clarke backward slightly and further drops her lips to Clarke’s exposed chest.  The tight grey shirt, acting like a corset pushes her breasts to Lexa’s mouth.  Lexa bites down hard and then sucks at her skin.  Her hands now on Clarke’s hips, she rocks her forward into her own center. 

A loud knock on the door startles Clarke. 

“Clarke?”  Octavia’s voice breaks Clarke’s concentration.  Lexa doesn’t seem to be phased, still sucking hard on Clarke’s chest. 

“Clarke, I was told I have to come talk to you.”  Octavia’s voice was louder the second time. 

Lexa finally gives in.  She releases her lips, popping Clarke’s skin back to reveal an already bruising patch.

Clarke lays her head on Lexa’s shoulder and exhales in disappointment.  “Will you miss me as much as I’m going to miss you?”  She asks in a whisper. 

Kissing her neck softly, then pulling back slightly to look into her eyes Lexa responds, “Always.”

 

 

 

 

 


	10. Justice ... Raitnes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arkadia is officially closed while back in Polis Pike faces justice.

“Commander!” Octavia says startled as Lexa opens the door.  “I’m sorry, I was told this is where they are keeping Clarke.”

“It is.”  Lexa replied emotionless.  Lexa exited the door and quickly Clarke filled her void.

“Hi Octavia, come in.”  Clarke opens the door wider to allow Octavia access to her new chambers.

Walking in, Octavia glances down and can see the hickey swelling on Clarke’s chest.  She looks back to Clarke and rolls her eyes.

“Whatever, O.  It’s not like everyone in the world couldn’t hear you and Lincoln in the cell the other night.”  Clarke shuts the door behind them.

Octavia enters the room and looks around.  She moves to the nearby couch and has a seat.  It is original to the room and not something that belonged to Clarke.  Her eyes still wonder as she remains silent.

“What is it O?  You’re never this quiet.”  Clarke confronts Octavia’s uncharacteristic behavior.

Shaking her head, “It’s just, I don’t want her to hurt you again.  I remember what it did to you the first time and,” continuing to look around at an obvious grand gesture made by Lexa to impress Clarke, “I just hope you don’t let your walls down too easily.”

“O.”  Clarke pauses and looks into her eyes.  “Thank you for your concern.  Believe me, I am taking caution with Lexa, but I have to give her a second chance.  She has done right by our people.  And, she is trying to do right by me.”

Octavia drops the issue and jumps right to the point.  “So what is it that you have to talk to me about?  I was told it is life or death that I get here to speak with you.”

“At the meeting of the Ambassadors we discussed a few really important things.  All of the clans now know that we are being moved from Arkadia into a temporary housing area until a permanent town can be constructed.  All clans will assist with the build so that it doesn’t take too long.”

Octavia interrupts, “Looks like your temporary housing isn’t too bad, huh?” 

“Lexa told me I am free to leave Polis as soon as the execution is complete.  I haven’t decided where I will go yet.”  Getting back to the point Clarke adds, “That brings up the second point.  The execution.”

“Pike’s execution.”  Octavia clarifies.

“Yes.  It was decided, for Skaikru to show their loyalty to the Commander and the alliance as the 13th clan, that they must carry out the execution themselves.  Each of us have to physically cut Pike.  The last person will end it.”

Clarke is scared to see Octavia’s reaction.  It is true that executions were performed on the Ark.  People seemed to get floated for barely anything.  Hell, they were sent across space to another planet as minors.  She knew that physically cutting someone to death was different.  She had spared Finn from such a fate, but she had seen it done on Gustus.  It changes things.  Clarke was surprised and somewhat relieved with Octavia’s response.

“I’ll go last.  I’ll kill that mother fucker.  He was going to kill me and Lincoln.  I’ll do it!”  Octavia volunteers with an energetic voice.

“Actually, Kane is the interim commander of Skaikru and he must be the one to make the final cut.”  Clarke informed Octavia of another detail discussed at their meeting.  Octavia looked a little disappointed, but accepted the news.

“So what do you want me to do?  How am I supposed to help with this?”  Octavia pushes Clarke for more information.

“I cannot leave here, but all of our people over the age of 12 must attend the execution tonight.  Everyone must participate in order to show our loyalty.  If anyone refuses, they will be exiled and if they come back a kill order will be placed on them.  So, it is imperative that everyone be informed of this and be instructed on what they must do.”

“I can spread the word.  I will meet personally with everyone that I can, and ask them to spread the word as well.  You can count on me for this Clarke.” 

Clarke knew Octavia could get it done.  She is certainly not shy to talk to people regardless of topic.  Between her and the others she would be meeting with shortly, all of Skaikru would surely be in attendance.  She just hoped they would all be capable of carrying out their duty.

“If Kane can’t do it, Clarke, I will.  I knew some of the grounders he killed.  He almost killed Indra.  I’d be happy to do it.”

“Thanks, O.  If something has to change, I will keep that in mind.”  Clarke smiles a quick grin of appreciation.  Octavia stands and heads towards the door.  “Well, I better get to it.  Sunset will come faster than you think.” 

“I hope so.”  For so many reasons Clarke couldn’t wait for the days end.

Clarke carried on a few more conversations similar to the one she shared with Octavia.  Most went the same way, each eager to show their allegiance and finally feel at peace.  The only conversation that didn’t go as planned was with Kane.

“Marcus.  We don’t have a choice in this matter.  The Ambassadors and the Commander already decided it would be you to deal the final cut.  Hell, even my mom was there and didn’t protest that point.”  Clarke tries to calm down a clearly disturbed Kane.

“Clarke, I am not a killer!  The only reason I fought so hard for this alliance was to make peace, not to kill people.”  Kane rubs his hand through his hair in frustration.  “I know he was responsible for killing more than 300 grounders.  And, on some level I can understand the need for the execution.  But, why do I have to be the one to officially end his life?” 

“The Commander said you graciously accepted the role of interim leader of Skaikru.”  Clarke reminded him of the facts.  “Perhaps you should have asked for a more detailed job description beforehand.” 

“This is no time for jokes, Clarke.”

“I’m sorry Marcus.  It’s just we have come so close to finally having peace with the grounders.  I just want this to be over.  I just want everything to go as planned tonight.”  Clarke pleads with Marcus to accept his role.

“What good is peace if you have allowed yourself to become a killer?”  Marcus regrets his statement before he even finishes it.  No one knew better than Clarke how killing people, innocent children even, can affect a person.  Clarke glares at him with fierce eyes.

“I’m sorry Clarke.  I didn’t mean to…”

Clarke cuts him off.  “You’re right.  Killing people will change you.  It’s turned me into the Great Wanheda.”  She raises her hands in a sarcastic pride.  She continues, “I will make sure my mom goes just before you.  I’ll ask her to make a strategic cut that’s not obvious.  There are arm and leg arteries that will drain someone in less than a minute.  If you wait a few seconds, he will likely bleed out before you cut him.  I think you still need to make a cut, Marcus, but you can at least know you were not the one to kill him.”  Clarke’s response is full of compassion.  She would try to save anyone from her fate, her transformation into a killer.

“I think I can do that Clarke.  Thank you for understanding.  I will make sure Abby is next to me in line.”  Marcus gives a slight smile with the freeing notion that comes over him.

“Just remember, people have to believe that you were the one.  So, make sure your cut is believable.  Usually the last cut is through the heart.”  Clarke emphasizes the importance that the execution look authentic on all levels.

“I realize that Clarke.  I won’t let our people down.  Thank you again.  I will see you in a few hours.”  Marcus turns and leaves the room.  His pale face slightly beginning to recover some color.

Clarke finds herself staring at her drawing of Mount Weather.  Her emotion is gut-wrenching.  All she can see are the faces of the innocent children she killed trying to save her people.  Tonight, another name would be added to the list of those sacrificed to save her own.  She wondered if the list would ever end.  Will there be a time when she cannot kill or will not kill?  Or, has this truly become her being.  She wonders if she truly embodies Wanheda.  The notion once again makes her sick.

***

The day progresses quickly.  It is not a particularly nice day.  The sky is overcast and the temperature is warm with a stifling humidity.  The conditions don’t prevent workers from completing the move from Arkadia on time.  Lexa is pleased and impressed with the collaborative efforts of all 13 clans in the move.  What remains of the grounded Ark is mainly just metal.  Even the fencing and support materials have been loaded.  They will be repurposed in building a new home for the 13th clan.

“Excuse me, Commander.”  Raven tried to get Lexa’s attention politely, a curtesy Raven doesn’t always bestow.       

“Yes, Raven, correct?”  Lexa has made an effort to learn the names of Skaikru.  “Your technology team has done a great job in this move.”

“Thank you.”  Raven isn’t sure why she is suddenly shy.  “Actually, that’s why I wanted to talk to you.”

Lexa turns to give her full attention.  “What is it Raven?”

“I was told that members of Skaikru will be traveling to the other clans once our new town is built.  I hear we are going to help in setting up basic radio towers, medical facilities and even some electricity.”

“Yes, that was the decision made by the Ambassadors.  Every clan will benefit from the collaboration that way.”

“Well, I was wondering if I could be on that crew.  I mean, usually when other people set things up, I end up having to fix it anyway.”  Raven’s confidence clearly has recovered.  It’s enough to make Lexa smile.

“Raven, I think that would be a great idea.  I will see to it that you are on the planning committee as well as the field crew.”  Lexa turns to start one last survey of the Arkadia before leaving.

“Well.”  Raven interrupts her again.  “It’s just, metals are critical to so much in technology and electricity.  I think leaving so much of it behind will be a mistake.”  Raven motions to the gigantic Ark sitting behind them.  “The metal in just one wing of this place could be repurposed to wire an entire clan with electrical towers.”

“I see.”  Lexa, not fully understanding the mechanisms of which Raven speaks still understands her concern.  “Perhaps we can allow work crews access to recover these ‘metals’ as needed.  It would have to be sanctioned by the Council, of course.”  Lexa looks to Raven for a reaction.  She remains silent.  “As a member of the planning committee and field crew, I’m sure your insight as to when and how much of this we will need will be valuable.  When you feel that the time has come, I will allow you to address the Council directly about recovering what we can.”

“That seems fair Commander.  Thank you.”  Raven is pleased and a little surprised at how pragmatic the Commander can be.

“Now come.  We must all be back on time for the execution ceremony.”  Lexa places her hand on Raven’s shoulder to guide her to the last remaining rover.  “I’ll ride with you after I do one last search of the area.”

Raven boards the rover while Lexa surveys the area.  She is pleased to see a job well done, on time and thorough.  She hopes the execution will go just as smoothly so her alliance can be fully recognized.  She hopes for once peace may have a chance to be sustainable.

***

Sunset arrives with the sound of fog horns.  It is the warning bell that all should begin to assemble.  A makeshift stage has been created in the center of downtown Polis.  Many have been killed here, but this set up seems more intense.  An elevated platform has been constructed.  Rows of cut down tree logs surround it forming a makeshift outdoor arena.  Lit torches line the platform for lighting. 

In the middle of the platform sit two structures.  Heda’s wooden throne has been relocated there.  Just feet from it, an 8 foot log stand erect through the platform.  Ropes lay on the ground waiting to constrict Pike.  The crowd starts to fill the seats.  Those attending are instructed to reserve the front rows for Skaikru members.  They will need easy access to the platform. 

The seating fills quickly.  Many grounders wishing to attend are escorted to the sides and back of the seating area where standing room only space is available.  Those grounders who had lost a loved one in Pike’s attack are given preferential seating.

The crowd is not quiet.  Although, the noise keeps to general chatter.  The heckling usually displayed during an execution is absent.  The feeling is one of formality.  This is not a typical execution.  More than one man dying, this is the cleansing and initiation of more than 100 Skaikru into the coalition.  No grounder underestimates the importance of what’s to come.

The sun glows a dark orange on the horizon as it seeps through the clouds.  Clarke thinks it would make a great backdrop to a future painting.  It is peaceful and serene despite the horror due to partake during its departure.  Clarke is one of the last Skaikru members to reach the arena.  She looks around and is pleased to see her message of attendance has permeated her people.  She takes her place next to Titus and Abby in the front row of the seating area. 

She looks to Kane and then to her mother.  They both nod.  It seems her idea for saving Kane’s soul is in play.  Somehow this alleviates her nerves as she looks on to see the empty stage in front of her.  The Ambassador from Trikru, the tribe most impacted by Pike’s attack, takes center stage. 

“Fellow warriors of the coalition, I am here to oversee the justice of the murder or more than 300 of our own.  As agreed upon by the 12 clans, tonight will act as both justice for the act as well as initiation for the 13th clan.  Every member of Skaikru of age will cut a slice of justice on behalf of our alliance.  Each showing his or her loyalty to the coalition and to our one and only Commander.  Pike’s body will burn.  Any family member who wishes to take of the ashes is welcome.  You may see to your own personal justice in this way.”

The Ambassador speaks and most already know the details.  The crowd waits anxiously, quietly for the actual event to begin.  Another set of fog horns blow and echo through a silent arena.  With their cadence still in the air, Bellamy opens the door from a nearby building revealing Pike.  His hands are bound and he walks at Bellamy’s guidance with compliance. 

Silence breaks in the crowd as family members for the deceased start to boo and yell at Pike as he passes them by.  He is escorted down the center of the arena to the stage.  Bellamy assists him in climbing the few steps that lead him to his final view.  He is turned to face the crowd and backed up against the post anchored in the center of the stage.  Pike’s arms and legs are constrained to the post with the ropes that awaited his arrival.

A wave of silent attention migrates through the crowd as they realize Heda is now approaching.  She is dressed in black pants and a black shirt.  She wears a black cape with a hint of red in its shoulder pads.  She is dressed not for war, but for a coronation.  Not only will Skaikru become the 13th clan, but she will evolve to yet another Heda.  A Heda guiding the coalition of 13 instead of 12.  A Heda with a message of unity and peace, not war and sacrifice.  This is clearly not something she takes lightly and she intentionally wants the crowd to see her seriousness in the matter.

Clarke watches Lexa as she climbs to the top of the stage and takes her seat on her throne.  She is in awe of her.  Lexa radiates strength, wisdom and resolve.  She radiates beauty even within the most callous of situations.  Clarke wonders how this is the same women that she has grown to know more personally.  She wonders how Lexa can exhibit such confidence, but also such vulnerability.  She has seen her in ways most will never.  For a second she feels perhaps she doesn’t know Lexa at all.  But this only makes her yearn to fill in the gaps, to learn the details, to bond with all that is Lexa.

The crowd, now completely silent, watches as the Commander stands to address them.  She pulls her own blade from her side.  It is about 5 inches long with a slight serrated curve.  It is anchored to a meaty wooden handle molded perfectly for her slim grip. 

“With my own blade, I offer Skaikru the chance to prove your loyalty to our coalition.  With each cut you deliver, you become one step closer to becoming our 13th clan.” 

The crowd cheers as Heda raises her blade for all to see.  She continues, “Each member will deliver a nonfatal cut to the murderous dictator behind me.  Although, let it be known.  Any member whose cut is too feeble will receive his or her own cut.  This is an initiation.  You must strike with confidence.” 

The grounders are not surprised at the added detail, but the Skaikru members look to one another.  There was never any mention of getting cut themselves if it was determined their cut wasn’t good enough. 

Clarke just stares at Lexa.    _That is so like her.  Always keeps her cards to her chest.  She didn’t even mention this detail to me.  What is she thinking?  Maybe something happened.  Maybe she got spooked that something wasn’t going to work.  I have to trust her.  What choice do we have but to trust her?_ Clarke’s thoughts wonder as the crowd resettles.

“Let the first Skaikru member approach.”  The Commander holds out her blade with authority. 

Bellamy is the first to act.  He is already on the stage and just walks to the knife.  He looks the Commander in the eye while grabbing the knife.  He recognizes his life is being spared.  He is willing to be the first of his people to show his loyalty.

Taking the blade he walks swiftly to Pike, stopping directly in front of him.  He looks down to his feet, pausing for a second.  He knows it has to be done, but it doesn’t make it any easier.  It’s like giving a sucker punch.  It’s like kicking a man while he’s down.  It’s like shooting someone in the back.  This last thought makes him angry.  It’s like shooting hundreds of essentially unarmed allies.  He grits his teeth and makes eye contact with Pike.

“You remember this when she turns on you Blake!   When they turn on you!  They are savages Blake.  Put that blade in her heart and save your people right now soldier!”  Pike’s command falls on deaf ears as Bellamy replies.

“We are what we are.”  His comment resonates with the Commander.  He has truly made a great step towards showing his new loyalty to his people and to the coalition.  As his statement ends, he raises the blade to Pike’s bicep.  He drags the blade across his skin and is surprised how easily is breaks the surface.  The cut instantly pools with blood and drips before Bellamy can even turn away.  He looks to the Commander.  Her nod of approval demonstrates an appropriate cut.  One to act as a model for the remaining Skaikru members.

Bellamy stands holding the blade and motions for the next Skaikru member to approach.  Some take the blade and immediately strike Pike so as to get it over with.  Most are more pensive and hesitate before cutting him, but still manage to make a sufficient injury.  Even fewer borderline failure.

A 14 year old boy from farm station approaches Pike on the stage.  Pike recognizes the boy from one of his classes.  He was a strong student, obedient and studious.  It is almost instantaneously recognized that this boy will not be able to go through with his duty.  His eyes well and his grip loosens with failure creeping into his being.  Lexa stands to try to motivate the boy to complete his duty. 

Pike, now cut dozens of times, still has the where with all to notice the situation unfold.  In an act of selflessness, he tries to encourage the boy.

“Kyle.  Kyle you look at me boy.”  The child raises his head and meets Pike’s eyes. 

“I know you don’t want to do this son.  I’m sorry you are put in this position.  But this is how you survive.  This is what you _must_ do.”  Pike’s words are sincere.  His eyes meet the boys again.  The boy’s lips begin to quiver.  

The Commander leaves her chair and beings to walk to the boy.  The crowd, mainly Skaikru, gasp at what is about to occur.  Pike once again tries to convince the boy to do what he must.

“Kyle.  Kyle please.  There is no need for you to bleed for me.  Let me bleed for you son.”  Pike’s plead seems fruitless as Kyle drops his hand altogether.  Pike knows his life is almost over, but the notion of saving this one soul becomes everything he has ever lived for. 

“Kyle, I’m the one who told on your mother, Holli.  I am the one who reported the missing food and her pregnancy.”  Kyle’s eyes found Pike’s in confusion.  “I told the Chancellor, Kyle.  They floated her because of me.”  His words were lies, but his purpose sincere. 

Before the Commander could finish her purposefully slow walk to the boy, he had caved.  He cut pike’s cheek.  The slash deeper than most he had had to endure thus far.  His lies were just that, but more than that they had just saved an otherwise innocent life.  With this, Pike felt a final victory. 

The boy handed off the blade to another.  There were only a few in line that remained.  Octavia, Clarke, Abby and Kane were amongst them.  Adorned by a hooded shirt the next in line took the blade from the boy.  He approached Pike swiftly. 

Dropping Lexa’s blade, the disguised grounder pulled out a blade of his own and stabbed Pike, not cut, but impaled him in the abdomen.  “For my brother!  Jus drein, jus daun.”

The crowd gasped as they realized what had happened.  A victim’s brother acting as a vigilante is attempting to take the kill himself.  The Commander immediately stands and restrains the grounder.  Then she looks to Abby.

“Abby, can you stop the bleeding so we can complete the ceremony with all Skaikru members?”  Abby quickly runs onstage and ties a tight cloth around Pike’s wound.  Pike winces and laughs.

“Ha, I knew you were destined for failure.”  His words are soft as he is quickly fading. 

The commander realizing the ceremony is most likely ruined, grabs and raises her own knife to the grounder.  She is beyond angry.  She is ready to strike when Octavia jumps on the stage.

“No.  Wait.  He can have my cut.  I am just as much grounder as he is Skaikru.  He can have my cut.  Who can blame him?  This asshole killed his brother.  Please, Commander, we have lost too many of our own.  He can have my cut.”  Octavia’s words make sense, but the Commander must not show weakness.

She pushes her blade down, slicing the man’s forehead.  “You are marked.  You will spend the rest of your days digging and cleaning the holes of warriors.” 

The crowd laughs.  The man, though his life was spared, is now destined to be a glorified on the go toilet cleaner for the rest of his days.  Both Octavia and the grounder return to the main floor.

“Finish this while we still have time.”  The Commander says angrily as she sit again in her throne. 

Clarke walks on stage.  She walks past Lexa and avoids eye contact.  She is about to use a part of her that she doesn’t really want to share with Lexa.  It is a part that Lexa indirectly created.  It is a part that Clarke is still bitter about harboring.  Knowing time was oozing away, Clarke took the blade and sliced Pike’s leg.  Her cut was intense.  She was more capable than she liked to admit. 

Abby, letting go of the bandage reaches for the blade.  It is time for her to exact a cut that will free Kane from his obligation. 

“Wait.”  The Commander stands once again.  “Abby you have done more than your share.  You’ve kept Pike alive seeing to it that he sustain even more justice.  That is more loyal than cutting him yourself.”  Lexa turns to the crowd.  “Let’s end this.”  She looks down to where Kane sits. 

Kane stands hesitantly.  His stomach in knots.  He looks to Clarke and then to Abby.  Neither can save him no matter how much they had hoped.  He climbed the stage and approached Pike.  He reached for the blade, and the Commander approached him. 

Pulling out her sword she handed it to Kane.  “It is time.”  He reluctantly took the sword.  His mind was racing.  He contemplated not doing it.  He would likely sacrifice his own life in the process, but he still considered it a plausible possibility. 

“Marcus.”  Abby’s voice pulled him back to reality.  He realized that if he didn’t finish this, everything they had all worked towards in creating this alliance would fail.  He turned to his people.  Over 100 people made their commitment and now it was his turn to finalize the deal.  He turned to face Pike. 

“Just do it Marcus.  I’m ready.”  Pike begged for the pain to end.

Lifting the sword he placed the point over Pike’s heart.  “Yu gonplei ste odon.” 

His words were a transformation.  They signified the molting of a distant sky people into a local clan.  They solidified a union in sacrifice for future peace.  His words were confirmation that Skaikru can and will assimilate to ensure their survival, to ensure peace.  His words were mechanical, as his body went through the action.  As he drove the blade into Pike’s chest, Kane’s soul ascended leaving his body behind.  It was not visible to most, but two sacrifices had just occurred for his people.  One hang dead, while the other is condemned to live. 

The crowd was on their feet before Kane could remove the sword from Pike’s chest.  Kane stood and watched as Pike’s head fall.  Abby, still standing on the stage approached him.  She took the sword from his hand and lowered it to the ground.  She turned to him and looked into his eyes.

“Marcus.  I’m sorry.”  Her words were fruitless.  The part of Marcus she had grown to love was gone.  She could see it in his eyes.

“What’s done is done.”  It was all he could say.  He left the stage and didn’t look back.

“Please move your logs to the stage so we can begin the cleansing process.”  The Commander ordered the audience give up the logs they had been sitting on so the fire can begin.

The stage cleared and the fire was started.  Most stayed to watch the blaze.  Some cheered, some family members of victims cried, finalizing their grief.  Some just stared blankly into the flames.  By the time the flames had subsided, mainly only family members of the deceased remained.  They scooped up ashes as promised and left. 

Abby, Clarke and Lexa remain among a few straggling grounders.  “Clarke.  It is okay to leave.  You should see to your people.  Our people.”  She corrected herself.  “These things can be quite tragic the first time around.” 

“I hope that this is the last time anyone will have to see such a thing.”  Clarke responds, regret in her voice.  She knows many of her people lost their innocence that night and she can’t help but feel guilty. 

“Both of you go to Kane.  I have a few matters to attend to.”  Lexa orders them.

Abby and Clarke start to walk away when Clarke turns back.  Lexa reassured Clarke that she intends to make good on her promise.  “It’s okay Clarke.  I will meet up with you a little later.  Go to Kane.  I’ll find you when I’m ready.” 

Lexa turns and walks away, leaving Clarke and Abby the task of finding and facing the shell of what was once Marcus Kane. 

 

 

 

 


	11. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa makes good on her promise and Abby tries to console a broken man

Abby and Clarke make haste to track down Marcus.  It doesn’t take them long to find him sitting alone around a nearby campfire.  Most Skaikru members have retreated to the makeshift camp just under a mile from downtown Polis.  Marcus had barely made it a few blocks before his feet stopped. 

Clarke and Abby approach him from either side and sit down next to him near the fire.  There really isn’t much need to sit by the fire, it is not cold.  It does provide some light and bug relief.  For Marcus, it also provides an excuse to get away from the masses to think.

“Marcus.”  Abby gently addresses him.  She reaches over and touches his hand.  “I know that was hard for you.  It would have been hard on any of us.  We’re human.  We feel pain and fear.  We feel sadness and regret.” 

Interrupting her he snaps back, “I don’t feel anything at all.”  He stares her down until she has to look away.  Clarke takes the opportunity to jump in. 

“Kane, I know we had a plan, but we have to be flexible.  You did what needed to be done!  That’s what leaders do.  That’s what has to be done for us to survive.”  Clarke, although compassionate, is starting to get a little annoyed with Kane.  When his response is to roll his eyes she snaps back.

“Get it together Marcus.  It’s okay to be sad, but your people will need you tomorrow as they needed you today.  You are our interim leader, we need you on your toes.  We have a ton of work to do just to live.  Our people are sleeping in tents.  We have to build our town.  We have to figure out how to construct functional electrical and radio stations for all of the other clans.  Marcus, people look up to you, and you need to pull it together.”

“Maybe it would be easier if I just ran away for three months.”  His response, though sincere, ends with a tang of regret.  He knew what Clarke was saying was right, but he needed his moment to sulk. 

Clarke stood up angry.  “At least you were forced to kill a murderer, not innocent children.”  Then she turned to Abby.  “Mom, I’ll find you tomorrow.”  Then she walked away, heading back to Polis.    

Abby waited a few minutes before speaking again.  “She’s right you know.  All of us have made sacrifices for our people.  Some more intense than others, but sacrifice nonetheless.  I know you wanted to demonstrate that life is different now that we are on the ground.  That the ways that once were on the Ark are gone and that peace has a new life and new meaning down here.  I know how important that message is to you.” 

“That’s just it Abby.  I spent most of my life thinking we had no other option.  That in the Ark, if we didn’t adhere to such strict measures, then we would all perish.  But down here, down here there is hope.”  He hesitates for a moment, “There was hope.”

“Come on Marcus, there still is hope.  Our people have a real shot at peace on the ground surrounded by 12 clans that would be otherwise been lining up to kill us just a couple of weeks ago.  We are building a new community and we are impacting the ways of an older one.”

Marcus looks at Abby, wanting to agree with her.  She sees her opportunity to persuade him further. 

“Come tomorrow morning, we are going to need someone who will advocate for our people.  The way our town is built, the way we will travel to the other clans and assist them, not to mention the way we govern, we need someone like you to speak on our behalf.  What laws will exist?  How will we address things like theft or other crimes?  Will people be executed for those?  Or, will you negotiate peace.”

Grabbing Kane by the chin, Abby looks directly into his eyes.  “Marcus, you were born for this.  You have the intelligence to recognize what is needed and the diplomacy to negotiate successfully for it.  You have the stubbornness we need in a leader.  And, most importantly, you are a good man.  Yes, sometimes good men have to do bad things, but you will always know the difference.  And that, that is what makes you who you are.  That is what makes you the best shot we have at truly having peace.”

Her words resonate.  He realizes that Pike could never agree to see that his actions were wrong.  He realizes that Jaha could not see that his decisions were too harsh either.  Kane believed that justice through sacrifice was **not** the only way and he was now energized to put that notion into action. 

“Thank you Abby.”  His words were short but sincere.  Though he knew he would never forget killing Pike, nor the way it made him feel, he was prepared to allow time to sneak in and ease the pain.  He was refocused on what he could do for the future of his people, conceding that he has no authority over the past. 

***

Walking quickly, Clarke found her way back to Polis sooner than Lexa had anticipated.  She went straight to her new chambers and was surprised to see Lexa exiting.    


“Clarke.”  Lexa was startled by Clarke’s quick return.  “I thought you were going to find Kane with Abby.”  She shuts the door behind her before Clarke can see inside.

“I did.  He is upset, but I tried to tell him to get past it.  He wasn’t ready to hear it.  I know it sucks, but he will pull through.  He has to.”  Her voice releases some angst and is replaced by her own sadness as she is still haunted by her actions at Mount Weather. 

“Leaders change Clarke.  But the one thing that is constant is that your people will always depend on you.  Kane will wake tomorrow and realize his actions fortified peace for his people.  Though he may be haunted by himself, he spared many souls of a worse fate.” 

Clarke can’t help but wonder if Lexa knew.  If she knew that Kane didn’t want to be the one to end Pike.  She wondered if Lexa somehow forced his hand knowing it would mold him into the type of leader that is capable of surviving in this environment, amongst these clans, under this Commander.  Maybe she needed Kane to be a leader as much as the Skaikru did. 

“What?” Lexa looks at Clarke wondering what she was thinking.

Clarke decides not to ask.  She is either totally wrong and will embarrass herself or she is totally right and will be overwhelmed by Lexa’s intuitiveness.  She is not sure she really ever wants to find out.

“Nothing, it’s just, what are you doing here?”  Clarke changes the subject. 

“I had to get something ready.”  Lexa’s response is soft and suggestive. 

“In my room?  What?”  Clarke asks with curiosity.

“Like I said, I cannot refuse your offer.”  Lexa opens the door for Clarke to enter and follows her, shutting and locking the door behind them.

As the door shuts Clarke turns to face Lexa.  “Lexa, I’d love for you to stay.  But, you should know, I’m not really in the mood to…” Clarke is interrupted by Lexa’s hands.  They reach to each of her shoulders and gently turn Clarke back around. 

“Shhh.  It’s okay.”  She responds softly while leading Clarke away from the door.  “You just asked me to stay, you didn’t say what we would or wouldn’t be doing.”

Clarke smiled and allowed Lexa to continue to lead her further into the room.  The room remained mainly the same with a few subtle but impressive changes.  The bed was surrounded by lit candles.  Of course, what other way would Lexa have it?  The bed itself was rearranged.  Flower pedals adorn the edges while the pillows are arranged strategically at both the head and foot of the bed. 

Turning to Lexa, Clarke ask, “What is all this?”

With a soft smile Lexa responds, “This is staying with you all night.”  She reaches out and pats the bed for Clarke to sit.  She does without hesitation.

“I wanted your first night of freedom to be less stressful.”  Lexa sits next to her on the bed.  She brushes Clarke’s hair to one side and squeezes her shoulder over her exposed skin.  Her hand is strong and the pressure is an instant relief to Clarke’s heavy shoulder.  She can’t help but utter a sigh.

Taking that as permission, Lexa adds a second hand and continues to massage Clarke’s shoulders gently but with ample pressure.  After a few minutes of what Clarke would call ecstasy, Lexa runs her thumbs down each side of Clarke until she reaches the hem of her shirt. 

Slightly lifting her shirt, Lexa whispers, “May I?”  Without saying a word Clarke removes her own shirt and bra and lays face down on top of the bed.  After staying in a cell for a few days a massage is just what the doctor ordered. 

Making her more comfortable, Lexa took an extra pillow to slightly elevate her feet and a couple others she propped both under her chest and forehead leaving a space for her to easily breathe.  Lexa reached for some oil she has prepared on the table next to the bed.  It smells of lavender and honey.  Holding the oil briefly over the candle flame she warms it just enough.  She allows the oil to drip up and down Clarke’s back.  Clarke again cannot help but slightly moan at its warm feel.  Lexa traces her hands down the length of her back dragging the puddles along as they go.  Once the oil is thoroughly spread, her hands begin with new strength and energy. 

Her thumbs start at Clarke’s spine and drag across her ribs increasing in intensity.  She repeats the pattern inch after inch until she has covered the length of her back.  Then she presses her palms deep into Clarke’s lower back sliding them all the way up, ending at her neck.  Lexa starts again on Clarke’s shoulders.  This time her squeeze is more intense cushioned by the warm oil that oozes between her fingers.      

“Lexa, that feels so good.”  Clarke can’t help but convey her enjoyment in Lexa’s massage.  Without speaking, Lexa responds.  She lowers her face to Clarke’s body and kisses her neck gingerly.  She wants to give the world to Clarke.  In this moment she knows what Clarke needs is to relax and Lexa is happy to help her achieve that.

Her massage continues, executed with professional accuracy.  Leaving her back she extends the pleasure to Clarke’s arms.  No detail is left undiscovered as Lexa’s attention to Clarke is intentional.  Pulling on each finger, massaging her palm, digging her thumbs into her forearm and biceps, Clarke’s arms feel like JELLO.  She has no control of them.  She is certain if the bed were not holding them up they would fall straight to the floor. 

Before leaving her arm, Lexa pulled and lifted the weight of her whole arm off the bed and shook it.  After a few strong waves she slowly lowered it back to the bed.  Clarke was a little surprised by the action, but she loved the way it balanced out the calm she felt.  Moving to her other arm, Lexa repeated her actions as if she were following a recipe.  Clarke’s thoughts wondered for a minute wondering how many times she must have done something like this.  She was way too good to be making it up on the fly.  Instead of letting her thoughts take control, she completely released herself and felt nothing but her physical relief and pleasure.

From her arms, Lexa returned to Clarke’s neck and shoulders.  This stay was more brief than the first, but it acted to warm her otherwise chilled skin.  Ending at her lower back she tugged on Clarke’s pants so as to invite her to take them off.  Clarke, too relaxed for the task herself, simply says, “Go ahead babe.”  With that invitation, Lexa works to gently remove Clarke’s pants, leaving her only in bikini briefs. 

Over her briefs, Lexa work to loosen Clarke’s rear.  Surprised at the touch, Clarke was shocked at how intense the muscle relief felt.  Moving to her thighs and once again using the warm oil, Lexa continued her quest of relaxing every inch of Clarke’s body.  She tug deep into her leg muscles, dropping heavy hands and even her elbow now and again.  Her thumbs traced every major muscle from top to bottom.  Even with her feet, Lexa gave detailed attention to every nerve ending resulting in more than one groan from Clarke. 

In what seemed like more than 2 hours, Lexa completed her journey of Clarke’s body by once again running her hands from toe to finger and tracing her fingers everywhere in between.  She ended laying onto the bed herself.  Clarke was still on her back so Lexa lay her check onto Clarke’s shoulder, draping the rest of her body in tandem with Clarke’s.  Her body was just enough warmth to keep Clarke comfortable as she had already fallen asleep somewhere in the last few minutes of Lexa’s massage.

Relaxed in the feel and smell of what is Clarke, Lexa easily fell asleep molded to Clarke.  They lay together for only a few hours, but their fire was easily fully recharged.  Waking with a slight chill, Clarke rolled from her stomach to her side, sliding Lexa onto her own along the way.  Lexa’s eyes were still closed and her breathing steady.  Clarke took the opportunity to steal an innocent kiss on her lips.  They were warm and soft.  As she released, Lexa’s eyes opened.

“Hey baby.”  Clarke whisper, a little blush as she was caught red-handed.

“Hi.”  Lexa’s voice evident she was not quite awake yet.

“It looks like I fell asleep on you.  It’s just that felt so good, and I was so relaxed that…” Clarke is interrupted by Lexa.

“I wanted you to relax and sleep well after spending too long in that stupid cell.  I’m glad you liked it.”  Lexa ended by reaching back for another soft kiss.

This second kiss was a little more intense than the first.  Clarke grabbing hold of Lexa’s lower lip in her teeth bit down hard until Lexa whimper, pulling away.

“Wow.  Ouch.”  Lexa followed with a smile, now fully awake.  “I thought someone wasn’t quite in a mood for…”

Not letting her finish, Clarke regained her grip of Lexa’s lower lips, but this time held firmly with her own lips.  She stroked the spot she bit with her tongue soothingly.  This kiss does not break contact but brews into a heavy intensity leaving both girls winded with heart rates elevated.

Lexa, taking advantage of Clarke’s essential nudity, runs her hands up and down Clarke’s skin.  She smiles as she feels the goose bumps erupt under her touch.  When her hands move from Clarke’s sides and stomach to her breasts, Clarke can’t help but be a little jealous.

“Hey, no fair.  Can we take these off please?”  Clarke reaches underneath the hem of Lexa’s shirt and tugs it up and off.  Lexa sits up and removes her pants, tossing them haphazardly to the floor.  Rolling now on top of Clarke, Lexa returns to their kiss.  She deepens it, rolling her tongue deeper and deeper into Clarke’s mouth.  Almost breathless, Clarke has to pull back and lifts her head up exposing her neck.

Lexa’s mouth, gasping for her own breath, swiftly moves to the tender skin that is Clarke’s neck.  She takes a second to smell her skin and then drags her tongue from Clarke’s ear to her collarbone.  Not even realizing it, Lexa’s hips had begun grinding into Clarke.  Clarke, spreading her legs, grants access to Lexa’s knee which is now intensely grinding in rhythm with her chest.  She methodically rubs her knee and thigh into Clarke’s center and follows up with rubbing her chest into Clarkes. 

Lexa’s bra still on, Clarke works to unsnap and remove it, allowing Lexa’s skin to fully drag across Clarke.  She is soft and the sensation erupting between them ignites a new level of passion.  Clarke sitting up slightly breaks Lexa’s position, now her legs swing around Clarke so she is essentially sitting in her lap.  Clarke running her hands down Lexa’s back finds Lexa’s breast with her mouth.  While digging her nails into her back, she finds Lexa’s nipple and bites.  Lexa can’t help but moan as the doubled sensation causes an involuntary thrust of her own hips into Clarke.  

Lexa lowers her head backward allowing Clarke full access to her chest.  Her hair dangle loosely behind her.  Clarke now using her hands to trace the contours of Lexa’s chest begins sucking Lexa’s neck.  Her fingers slightly pulling and twisting at Lexa’s nipple causes Lexa to groan on contact.  The sound causes a primal response in Clarke and she can feel herself wet with desire.

Lexa returns her look back to Clarke and finds her lips, kissing her again.  Clarke responds by dragging her hand from Lexa’s breast to her crotch.  Clarke cups her hand surrounding Lexa.  She is still wearing her underwear, but her own desire is apparent as they are eagerly wet with want.  Clarke rubbing her palm into Lexa’s clit excites an unexpected response.

Lexa groans at Clarke’s touch and responds by pushing Clarke back into the bed.  Lying next to her, Lexa roll Clarke on her right side and proceeds to remove her briefs.  Doing the same to herself, Lexa now on her own side proceeds to grind Clarke from behind.  Her right arm is under Clarke’s body and her hand is wrapped around granting her access to her chest.  Lexa forcefully drags her left arm up and down Clarke’s body as her hips grind into her from behind.

Clarke, enjoying the contact shifts to swing her own hips back into Lexa, finding and enhancing her rhythm.  Lexa breathing heavily into Clarke’s neck finishes her outline of Clarke’s body, ending at her hips.  She raises Clarke’s upper leg, spreading them for access.  She can feel Clarke’s warmth drip onto her own as she continues to idealize their position.  Reaching forward, her left hand works to massage Clarke’s outer lips.  Recognizing how ready she is, Lexa then plunges two fingers deep into Clarke in unison with her thrust.  She continues to enter and exit in tune with her hips. 

Clarke’s breathing quickens as she can feel herself build.  She raises her leg further and rotates her hips slightly.  Lexa’s reach is now deeper and she adds a third finger as she can feel herself bottom out inside of Clarke.  Clarke’s right hand finds Lexa’s and their fingers entwine.  Clarke’s left hand reaches around and grabs hold of Lexa’s ass.  She squeezes as Lexa thrusts again.   

 “Ah,” Clarke can’t help but plead.  “I’m so close.”

Lexa’s pace quickens at her words and almost instantaneously she can feel Clarke clench around her.  Clarke throws her back into Lexa who responds in yet another thrust of her body closer and tighter to her.  She clenches again, this time a guttural moan escapes her.  Clarke can feel Lexa smile against her skin in response.  She clenches a third time, and this time Clarke’s breathing eases.  Lexa slowly removes herself but doesn’t break contact.

They lay there for a few minutes.  Clarke, catching her breath, Lexa peppering soft kisses on her neck and back.  Clarke rolls from her side to her back and faces Lexa again.  Smiling she leans in more to kiss her on the lips. 

“I guess my mood changed.”  Clarke whispers through her lips not breaking their kiss. 

“Ummm, I’m glad.”  Lexa responds deepening the kiss. 

Still kissing, Lexa now slides from her side on top of Clarke.  Clarke, still sensitive, pulls back when Lexa’s hip brushes against her.  She proceeds to slide down farther and farther underneath Lexa until her mouth is kissing Lexa’s stomach.  Lexa sitting up looks down to Clarke to takes the repositioning to her advantage. 

Shimming further underneath Lexa, Clarke now is sucking her inner thigh as Lexa sit upright above her, knees pressed into the bed on either side of Clarke’s head.  Clarke can taste her readiness as evidence in her taste on her legs.  Clarke reaches her hands up from underneath Lexa wrapping them around her thighs.  She parts her lips with her fingers as her tongue softly scans the length of her sex.  Lexa thrusts forward at the sensation and grabs the headboard with both hands. 

With Lexa now fully exposed, Clarke inserts her tongue deep into her.  Again, Lexa bucks her hips in response.  Clarke with a firm grip around her thighs does not allow her to break contact, instead she pulls her deeper and tighter on top of her.  Lexa now moaning gives into the contact and is consistently thrusting on Clarke’s tongue and lips. 

Using her thumb, Clarke finds Lexa’s clit and rubs gentle circles as she continues penetrating with her tongue.  Lexa, soaked with desire and on the edge strengthens her thrust into Clarke.  Clarke now unable to breathe, but unwilling to stop, hastens her pace.  Her thumb working double time as her tongue curls a tighter muscle.  It is enough.

Lexa, grabbing the headboard, arcs her back as her insides involuntarily clench around Clarke.  Her release is a river of warm passion that flows generously.  Hurrying herself back to control, Lexa quickly dismounts Clarke.  She is a little embarrassed by the extent of her release and quickly moves her hand to wipe away the puddle that was now surrounding Clarke’s mouth. 

Using the sheet to finish the task she apologies, “Sorry.” 

Smiling at her bashfulness and concern Clarke responds, “Don’t be.” 

Smiling and laying down next to her, Lexa kisses Clarke once more.  With the passion satisfied, this kiss is different.  It is hopeful, it is a promise, it is love, and they both can feel it.  Breaking the kiss, Lexa lunges a little closer to kiss Clarke’s forehead as she runs her hand down the back of her hair. 

She immediately pulls away with a look of horror. 

Clarke, completely confused and filled with concern responds, “What?  Lexa!  What’s wrong?”

Lexa removing her hand from Clarke’s hair brings it back between them to reveal it covered in blood.  Clarke immediately sits up and puts her own hand to the back of her head.

“Fuck!  I must have ripped out some stitches.”  The blood now evidence in her own hands. 

Lexa ripping the pillow case off of a pillow puts it to her head.  “We have to go find Abby to fix this.”  She stands and helps Clarke up.  Heading for the door, Clarke stops to giggle and interrupt.

“Um, Babe.  I think we should dress first.”

Lexa so focused on her concern for Clarke, blushes at the sight of them.  She quickly dresses herself and then holds Clarke’s bandage for her to dress as well.  Fully clothed, Lexa kisses Clarke’s forehead and opens the door. 

“I hope it’s not too late.”  Looking at the sunrise in the background she corrects herself.  “Too early.”

***

Making their way to the makeshift Skaikru camp, both are relieved to see that most are still sleeping.  Surely they would be a sight to see, scampering through town, bloody cloth in hand, messy hair for all to see. 

Clarke was right, her mom’s tent was the one nearest the medical equipment.  She of course would want to be near to keep an eye on it.  Without a door to knock on, Clarke whisper from outside the tent.

“Mom.  Mom, are you up?  I need a little help.”  Clarke’s voice gained a little volume ensuring she could be heard.

Both could hear Abby get up and fumble around the tent.  She pulled back the cloth door.  She was clearly still asleep and not very rested.  Her eyes were surrounded by deep, heavy bags and her voice was raspy.

“Clarke, Commander?  What’s the matter?  It’s like 5 in the morning.”  Then she saw the bloody bandage on Clarke’s head.  “Oh shit.  What happened?  Come on in.”  Abby held back the cloth door granting them access. 

“My stitches, they must have popped open.”  Clarke responded as she sat in a chair Abby pulled up for her.

Turning on a battery powered, LED lantern, everyone was blinded for a few seconds. 

“Fuck, that’s bright.”  Clarke could barely see when she made out the outline of another body in her mom’s bed.  “Well, I guess your talk with Marcus ended well.” 

Abby did not respond other than to make a face back at Clarke.  She brought the subject back to the task at hand.

“Yes, you definitely popped a few of these.  I’m going to need to pull a few more out and re-stitch.  I can do it here, just let me go get a few things.”  Abby left the tent to retrieve the necessary supplies.

Lexa, now able to relax allowed the situation to sink in.  “Clarke, I’m so sorry.  I didn’t realize I was being that ruff.”  Her cheeks flush with embarrassment and concern.  She reaches over and grabs Clarke’s free hand.

“It’s ok Lexa.  My mom can fix this.  And, it’s my fault as much as yours.  I didn’t even feel it happen.”  Clarke’s attempt to console Lexa is short lived as Abby returns within minutes.  Lexa aware of their contact, retracts her hand from Clarke.

Working quickly and with obvious experience, Abby has already begun cleaning and removing bad stitches when she asks, “So, how did this happen?  Weren’t you sleeping?”  She does not make eye contact with either girl as she continues her work on Clarke’s wound.  If she had looked at Lexa, she would have seen an immediate blush at the question.

Clarke moves to answer to avoid the awkward silence.  “I don’t know.  I guess I must have hit the headboard in my sleep.”  Clarke winks at Lexa, embarrassing her even more.

“Okay, I’m ready to stitch this up again.  At least this time I have access to some anesthetic.  It’s still gonna poke a few times while I’m numbing it though.  Ready?”

Clarke reaches back to Lexa’s hand and squeezes.  “Yes.  I’m ready.”  She winces as the needle penetrates her scalp. 

Lexa, nervous to be holding Clarke’s hand in front of Abby decides giving Clarke the support she needs is more important and squeezes their hold back. 

“So, Commander, how did you know this happened to Clarke?  Did she come to you for help?”  Abby asks as she continues her stitching. 

“Ah, um, well.”  Lexa stumbles at her response until Clarke steps in for her.

“Are rooms are really close.  I kinda screamed when I saw the blood and she came in to check on me.”  Clarke again winked at Lexa who was now clearly flush. 

Abby, glancing down at their entwined fingers simply replies, “Uh, huh.”  She doesn’t press for more detail.

By the time Lexa’s heart recovered from her nervous interaction with Abby, Clarke was done and ready to go.  “Thanks again Abby, so sorry we woke you up this early in the morning.” 

“Whoa, where are you going Commander?  Let me have a look at your stitches.”  Abby pulls Lexa back to sit in the seat where Clarke just sat.  “Wow, you heal very quickly.  These are ready to come out.” 

Lexa swallow hard, not prepared nor even considering she would be in Abby’s tent receiving treatment from her before most had even woken up for the day.  “I can come back to you later for that.”  She tries to escape the situation.  She isn’t afraid, she just isn’t in the mind set to be the patient.  She was there to be the supporter for Clarke.  She was there as Lexa, not the Commander.  She didn’t have the armor and emotional walls that the Commander usually possessed. 

“Nonsense.  I’ll be busy later.  It will take 2 minutes.”  Abby grabs an antiseptic wipe and cleans Lexa’s stitches on her cheek. 

A little nervous, Lexa looks to Clarke.  Smiling in response, Clarke reaches back to grab Lexa’s hand.  She accepts without hesitation.  In less than a minute Abby had snipped and removed the 4 stitches that were in Lexa’s cheek. 

“There.  See.  All done.”  Abby turns to clean up the supplies she had just used.  She hands Lexa a mirror to see the result herself.

Holding the mirror she looks back at her own reflection.  Clarke approaches her from behind and gives her a hug.  She can now see her in the reflection as well. 

“As beautiful as ever.”  Clarke whispers in her ear as she motions to the small scar on Lexa’s cheek. 

Lexa paused for a moment taking in the full image.  Clarke’s cheek pressed to hers.  Her arm wrapped around her neck.  Her smile radiating.  Lexa could get used to this view of herself.  The one that wears Clarke all around her being.  She makes eye contact with Clarke through the mirror and responds, “It is beautiful.” 

 


	12. Framework for a New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The blueprint for the 13th clan is constructed. Clexa suffers a little angst as Lexa is busied by all of the planning and updates, leaving Clarke out of a few important aspects.

Clarke and Lexa hurry back to Polis almost as quickly as they made their way to the temporary shelter for the 13th clan.  The sun has not fully risen and people are beginning to fill the streets.  Everyone is eager to help and hopeful as to where they may fit into the process. 

“I’m glad Abby was able to help you, and that your injury isn’t any worse off.”  Lexa looks to Clarke as they walk back together to Polis.

“Really, Lexa.  It was not a huge deal.  She just needed to clean it and re-stitch the few that popped loose.  In another week or so they will be gone altogether.”  Clarke tried to once again ease Lexa’s concern.  Teasing her she adds, “That is unless I keep popping them loose.”  Clarke smirks at Lexa who responds with a small jab to Clarke’s shoulder. 

“Not funny, Clarke.”  Lexa blushes a little before changing the subject.  “So, you are officially free now, Ambassador.  Will you be claiming one of the temporary tents with the rest of the 13th clan?  You know, as the Ambassador of the 13th clan, you are always welcome to reside in the tower in Polis.  Ambassadors always have a room available there.”  Lexa sounds more like the Commander than Lexa.  She is more formal and professional in her delivery.

Clarke can’t help but be a little disappointed in Lexa’s phrasing.  She wondered where the invitation as Lexa’s, well whatever she is to Lexa, was at.  She didn’t let it get too far into her head.  After all, it’s not like she would be moving in after a week of being ‘together’ anyway. 

“Well, I’m sure there will be many Ambassador meetings with all of the planning that needs to happen.  And, I already have my things set up in Polis.  I think it makes sense to stay in Polis.”  Clarke looks to Lexa’s face for a reaction.  Like usual, she does not give anything away.  Clarke tries to keep some control by adding, “At least until they have the permanent town built, anyway.”  Again, Lexa holds in her response. 

“You are right.  Plan for the first Ambassador meeting to be this morning.  We will have about an hour or so to freshen up before we will be expected in the meeting hall.  I can have some breakfast sent to you while you get ready.”  Lexa again responds in her all business type tone.

“We can’t get ready and eat breakfast together?”  Clarke, again a little disappointed by Lexa’s disposition, presses her. 

This time Lexa looks at Clarke before she responds and offers a slight smile.  “It’s just we only have an hour.  I think it wise for us to hurry up and get ready and meet up again in the meeting hall.”

Clarke decided not to push it.  It was true.  They both needed to clean up, dress, and eat in less than an hour.  She didn’t let Lexa’s need for some privacy and alone time bug her any further.  She knew staying in Polis would give them plenty of opportunities to spend time together.

“Yah, that makes sense.  Maybe we can get dinner together instead.”  Clarke looks back to Lexa as they are approaching the tower in Polis.

“Yes Clarke.  We can see.”  Lexa leads the way to the makeshift elevator that takes them both to the same floor.  The door opens at the top.  “I’ll see you in a little while.”  Lexa turns and begins to walk away.

“Hey.” Clarke interrupts her stride and tugs on her arm to return back.  She pulls Lexa’s arm to her hip and motions to kiss her.  Lexa pulls away slightly, scanning the room.  No one was in sight, so Lexa completed the motion quickly kissing Clarke on her lips.  She pulls back and looks her in the eyes. 

“I’ll see you soon, Niron.” 

***

Shutting the door behind her, Clarke paused to think before rushing to get ready.  She was torn.  On one hand she understood that Lexa’s behavior was totally within reason.  They were in a hurry.  Lexa has a lot on her plate running the reorganization of the alliance.  She also realized that whatever it was that they shared intimately, was not necessarily something Lexa wanted to share publically. 

Clarke knew Lexa’s feelings about PDA ever since she shared her story about Costia.  She knew her people believed it to be a weakness.  She knew that even if Lexa did care for her, feel for her, love her even, that it didn’t necessarily translate into a ‘normal’ open relationship.  Clarke knew these things about Lexa months ago, but on the other hand it felt different now.  It wasn’t an idea anymore.  It was a cold reality.  Clarke so open in front of everyone, so carefree about loving in general, so clearly wearing her heart on her sleeve, was now faced with the harsh reality of what it must be to have a very private relationship. 

(Is it even a relationship?)

Clarke dwelled for just a few minutes before laughing to herself.  She brushed off her feelings as just overthinking what happened.  She refocused on bathing, dressing and eating the breakfast Lexa had sent to her room.  Yah, what was she thinking?  After all, Lexa just had breakfast sent to her room. 

***

Every clan was prompt arriving at the first council meeting post Pike’s execution.  The chatter was a positive one.  Most were satisfied with the way the ceremony played out.  Even Trikru, who lost the most warriors in Pike’s attack, seemed content with the outcome.  Clarke noticed Kane and Raven walk into the hall.  They immediately took a seat near Clarke.

“Hey, guys.”  She welcomed them.

“Hi, Clarke.  The Commander asked us to come as part of the planning and field crew teams.”  Raven informed her. 

Clarke hadn’t realized Lexa had already organized so much.  “Well, that’s Lexa.  She is likes to have her ducks in a row.”

“Well, right on cue.”  Kane smiled and pointed as the Commander walked in to join the group.

She had clearly bathed.  Her hair was in fresh braids and were still damp.  She wore a more casual attire.  Black fitting pants and a gray and black swirled tank top.  It was also fitting and a little bit low cut revealing just a small amount of Lexa’s chest.  She also wore a small amount of eye makeup, just enough to be noticed, mostly by Clarke.

Clarke couldn’t help but smile as Lexa walked by.  She was really something to look at.  Clarke felt the goose bumps and butterflies erupt as Lexa offered her a small smile as she passed by.  She immediately took a seat on her throne and began addressing the group.

“Here we sit.  The restructuring of the alliance awaits.  Today is day 1 of a new beginning that unites 13 clans in peace, health, housing, technology and trade.  Here we sit, responsible members of insuring we create a system that works for all.  We will be very busy in the coming months.  I expect that you will be available for more than double the amount of meetings.  I also expect that you will appoint additional clan members respectively to join the committees that must form in order to realize our vision of a united coalition.”

Clarke continues to admire Lexa as she speaks.  Raven notices the smile on her face and whispers, “Geeze Griffin, ease up on the love eyes.  You’re making me sick.” 

A little embarrassed, Clarke responds, “I think she would have made a great politician back in the day.  She is a great speaker, and so passionate about what she believes in.”

“Ya think.  Well, you would know.”  Raven continues her jest.

Lexa must have heard their chatter as she looks directly at them before continuing.  “The first order of business is to plan the permanent housing for the 13th clan.  We will need to solidify a location, a layout, as well as develop field crews to build and inspect everything.  Kane, how has the location of the temporary camp been working out?  Would being so close to Polis be something the 13th clan is okay with long term?”  Lexa glances from Kane to Clarke as she finishes the question.

“Commander, so far the location has been okay.  Granted, it has only been a couple of days.  We would want to make sure we have access to the necessary essentials before choosing a permanent location.”

“What would these include?”  The Commander asks for more detail.

“Well.”  Kane rattles off what he can think of on the spot.  “We would need a fresh water source, lands with fertile soil capable of farming, perhaps some natural barriers that would assist in shelter during severe weather.”

Raven interrupts, “We need to be able to generate electricity.  That could be a running stream, flat open lands for wind turbines, or sunny areas for solar power.” 

A few members of the other clans begin to look around at each other.  One interrupts, “Excuse me, Commander.  Several of the 12 clans still struggle to obtain some of these resources.  Are we supposed to go to our people and say the 13th clan should get the best of everything?  I am not sure how that will be received.”

Before the Commander can respond, Kane jumps back in.  “That is a fair concern.  But, the plan is that we will travel to each of the 12 additional clans after constructing the 13th.  We will find ways to become more efficient and assist in bringing whatever resources you are lacking into your homes.” 

“How can we be so sure that the 13th clan will be able to deliver such a thing?”  Another Ambassador asks.

“We are an alliance that trusts.  And, and alliance that delivers.  We will not begin our new relationships with doubt, but with faith.  If the 13th clan says it can be delivered, we will believe them.  Then, we will hold them to it.”  The Commander refocuses the group to the task at hand.  “Let each Ambassador return to his or her homes.  Discuss with your people what your biggest needs are.  When you return we will create a list and include these as part of our planning.”

Lexa continues addresses the group, “Until then, we should focus on the 13th clan.  I will have scouts available to discuss with you the location of your needs.  Then return to your people for a consensus on your permanent location.  Meanwhile, elect several members to plan your layout as well as to join the field crews.  We will also need members for the other clans to join these field crews as well.  As soon as the location is picked, we start.  How long do you need to solidify the location?” 

Kane, Raven and Clarke all look at each other.  Kane speaks up first, “Commander, if we can meet with your scouts today, we can vote tomorrow and be ready by tomorrow evening.”  Looking to Raven and Clarke for confirmation, Kane continues, “Does that time frame make sense?” 

“Then let’s plan for everyone to return tomorrow evening.”  The Commander stands as if to end the meeting.  Before she walks out she adds, “I’d like to start the layout planning in an hour.  Kane, can you round up enough members by then?” 

“I will do what I can Commander.”  Kane nods his head eager to start tracking people down to join.

With that, the Commander has left.  Most Ambassadors have left as well.  They will likely return home to share the news with their people and to start creating a want list for updates.  Raven sticks around to talk more with Clarke.

“So, what do you think?”  Raven asks.

“Think about what?”

“The location of our new home.  Do you think it should be close to Polis?” 

“I guess if it has what we need, then it makes sense to me.”  Clarke didn’t seem too eager to chat.  She knew she only had an hour and wanted to track down Lexa. 

“Where are you going to live, Clarke?  In Polis, or back with your people?  I mean if the town is close enough, you really don’t have to stay here for meetings.”

Clarke realized Raven was right.  She wouldn’t have to stay in Polis if the location was close enough even if she remained an Ambassador.  Before she could form a response, she noticed Lexa walk back in to the hall.

“Oh, good.  I was hoping you didn’t leave yet.”  Lexa walks over to the pair. 

Clarke can’t help but smile, her heart sang as she thought Lexa had the same idea to find her as she did.  Her joy was short lived. 

“Raven, would you mind meeting with me for a little while?  I have a few things I would like to discuss with you.”

“Um, sure.”  Raven, as surprised as Clarke, turns and looks at Clarke with furrowed eye brows. 

“Clarke, would you mind?”  Lexa very impersonally yet professionally, asked Clarke to leave. 

Not sure how to respond, Clarke gives in.  “Sure.  Of course.”  Then she doesn’t know what to say next.  She wants to say come find me when you’re done, or I’ll see you later; both referring to Lexa.  Instead, she says, “I’ll talk to you later Ray.”  Then she walks out, heart sank.

She lingers around the meeting hall expecting their meeting to be brief.  It must have been 30 minutes later or more that the doors opened.  Raven walked out alone with a huge smile intact. 

“Hey Clarke, what are you still doing here?”  Raven somewhat skipping, makes her way over.

“I was just passing by, heading back to my room here in Polis.”  Clarke lied.  “So, what was your special meeting with the Commander all about?” 

“Top secret babe.  Can’t say a word.”  Raven smiled.  Noticing Clarke’s immediate disappointment she caves.  “Just kidding, geeze lighten up Griffin.”   Now at a standstill, Raven vaguely explains.  “The Commander asked me to join her in visiting all of the clans.  We will be going while the 13th clan is being built.  She wants to address them each individually and directly.  She wants me to go because she thinks I can help identify where we can help them.  You know, techy engineer stuff.”

“Oh, well I guess that makes sense.”  Clarke can’t help but feel jealous.  Although, she is not quite sure why.  She is certain she will be along on the trip as well.  “So, why did she ask you in private?”

“Oh, she said we will leave tomorrow after the council meeting.  She didn’t want the Ambassadors to know.  She wanted her arrival to be a surprise.”

Surprise.  That is exactly what Clarke was feeling.  Lexa was planning to leave tomorrow night to travel to each of the 12 clans.  How could she be planning such a trip without even mentioning it to her?  Clarke couldn’t fathom her leaving without even telling her first.  It was supposed to be _her_ that went along.  Her jealousy has grown to a tangible heaviness in her chest.

“Oh, wow Ray.  She must really think you do good work.”  Clarke looks away as she compliments Raven, still trying to be supportive regardless of her jealousy. 

“We talked a little during the take down of Arkadia.  I guess we bonded a little, too.” 

Raven’s words were like ice daggers.  Clarke felt a shooting pain in her stomach as they were thrown at her.  _Raven and Lexa bonded?  But, Lexa doesn’t bond with anyone.  And in what, a couple of hours?_ Clarke’s thoughts can’t help but consume her.  Then, she realizes she only has minutes to find Lexa and clarify before the next meeting.

“Well Ray, I am going to head into the next meeting early.  I’ll catch you later.”

“Or not, if I don’t see you tomorrow.  The Commander told me to expect to be gone for a couple of weeks.”

_A couple of weeks_!  “Right.  See ya Ray.”  She finishes her sentence and begins walking towards the meeting hall. 

Lexa is standing over a table, analyzing maps.  She is very focused on what Clarke can only assume is the location of resource essentials and the permanent location of the 13th clan.Clarke walks in and shuts the door behind her.  Lexa looks up momentarily, offers a smile and drops her head again into the maps. 

Walking up behind Lexa, Clarke wraps both arms around her while kissing her on the neck.  “You look deep in thought.  What’s going on here?”  Clarke doesn’t break her hug around Lexa. 

“I want to make sure the location chosen for your clan will work without any issues.”  Lexa answers without breaking her focus on the maps. 

Clarke can’t help but respond with a little bit of angst, “Oh, right.  You don’t want your trip to the clans to have any delays.”  Her tone is a bit sarcastic and Lexa notices immediately.  She turns around to respond.

“That was supposed to be a surprise.”  Now looking at Clarke, Lexa doesn’t have time to continue before Clarke jumps in. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?  When were you going to tell me about it?  How am I supposed to be ready for something like that if you don’t talk to me?”  Clarke’s voice is somewhat tense.

Lexa breathes deeply, hoping Clarke will follow in suit.  She leans in and kisses Clarke’s lips softly.  “Don’t stress yourself out so much about this.  It’s not a big deal.  This morning was a little chaotic.  I didn’t have the chance to talk to you about it.” 

Clarke, feeling somewhat guilty for overreacting reaches down and grabs Lexa’s hand, running her thumb over the top of it.  “Why did you want me to leave when you were talking with Raven?  You could have told us both about it then.”

Lexa, inhaling deeply again, this time looking away from Clarke before answering.  “Clarke.  I need to uphold certain appearances when it comes to governing.  I didn’t think it appropriate for the Ambassador for the 13th clan to be privy to travel information about a trip that didn’t involve her.”

Clarke dropped her hand, releasing Lexa’s.  _A trip that didn’t involve her._   Clarke’s mind stopped with that.  She barely heard what Lexa said next.

“Clarke, I enjoy the time we spend together.  I look forward to it.  But, our private time is just that.  Our people look up to us and have expectations.  We are in the middle of a huge restructuring and we both have important jobs to do.  I have to travel to each clan to make sure they are pleased with the process.  You have to stay and assist the building of the 13th clan.  I know you will see to it being done properly in my absence.”

Staring at the floor and trying not to drown in self-pity, Lexa has to snap Clarke back into the conversation.

“Clarke.  Clarke look at me.”  Lexa now softer with her tone.  “I still want to have dinner with you tonight.  Can we do that?”  Reaching for Clarke’s hand, finally she responds.

“Um, yes.”  She really wanted to say no.  She wanted to hold some control for herself in what seemed like a spiraling emotional tornado.  But, she didn’t want Lexa to leave with this animosity between them.  She needed to take advantage of whatever little time they had together to fix the way that she was feeling. 

“Good.”  Lexa responded somewhat relieved herself, although unaware of the extent of Clarke’s disappointment.  “I will be able to meet up with you after this meeting.  I am sure it will be long and we will work up an appetite for afterwards.” 

Her words are playful and suggestive, but Clarke misses it.  She is too focused on not being able to go on the trip to see that Lexa is trying to give her the attention she is asking for.  “Clarke.”  Lexa once again gets her attention.  When Clarke looks back at Lexa, Lexa leans in, kissing Clarke on the lips.  “Are you okay?”  She adds when Clarke’s response is noticeably different. 

Before she can answer, the hall doors open as the members of the planning team for the 13th clan enter.  Kane did a good job in less than an hour recruiting members.  Abby was present, surly to assist in designing the medical facility.  Sinclair was there as the engineer expert.  Octavia, Bellamy and Jasper were also present.  Before the doors were shut, Raven ran in fashionably late.  She giggled when she realized she was the last to arrive and all were already seated for the meeting. 

“Sorry.”  Raven apologized as she slid into an empty seat.

“No problem.”  Lexa replied with a smile Clarke couldn’t help but notice. 

“Commander, I have 8, including Clarke with the potential to add a few more for our planning committee.”  Kane informed the Commander of everyone’s name and purpose in being on the team.

“As the interim Chancellor, I will oversee all aspects of the project.  I have some experts to head up each area.  Abby of course, will help plan and implement the medical facility.”  Nodding her head, Abby is happy to be in charge of what will become her primary work place. 

“This is Sinclair.  He is an engineer.  He will make sure the structures of our buildings, the lines of our plumbing and electric, and the overall civil organization of the town make sense.”  Sinclair bobs his head to greet the Commander as Kane gave her the overview of his expertise.

“I believe you have met Bellamy.  He will oversee the construction crew.  We will likely use primarily wooden materials for the structures.  However, we are hopeful that we will find a way to craft and repurpose some metals for enhanced stability and longevity for future building.”  Bellamy, all smiles, was happy to be alive, let alone heading up a huge aspect of the 13th clan build.

“Octavia is here to create and implement ways of making the 13th clan mesh with the other clans.  She has mentioned creating a stable where horses and other livestock can be safely incorporated.  This will also hopefully mold into a farm sector once we have added an expect member or two from what was our farm station on the Ark.  If they could figure out how to grow crops in space, I think they will be able to figure it out here.”  Octavia, a little closed off, offers the Commander a brief smile.

“Finally, this is Jasper.  He has some ideas about building an entertainment sector for the town.  Although some may argue that it is not an essential, I think he is right to consider and desire what it is that makes people happy.  After all, we are looking at creating a life, not just surviving it.”  Kane smiles adding the last line, eager to get started.  Clearly he has recovered, or at least compartmentalized, since Pike’s execution. 

Looking to Clarke, who has sat silent so far, Kane adds, “And Clarke.  As our Ambassador she will be our line of communication between the planning committee, the Council, and the work crews.  Hopefully she can identify any future problems and get them fixed before they are even realized.”  He smiles at Clarke, hoping the role makes sense to her.

The Commander responds seemingly pleased.  “Well, it sounds like you have constructed a great team Kane.  Let’s talk about the layout of the town.” 

Most chime in their opinions of the layout.  One after another, tweaking the details, they eventually came up with a solid draft.  Perhaps it was their experience on the Ark, but their layout ultimately resembled a cluster of pods each branching from a main artery. 

If you were to walk in from Polis, you would be entering the main artery.  On either side you would see the first 2 of a total of 10 housing pods.  These were circular in nature and had 10 individual housing units branching off of each for a total of 100 housing units.  The housing unit was designed to be modest but efficient.  Intending to hold a minimum of two people, each was circular in nature and spanned about 800 square feet. 

Each housing pod, containing 10 individual units was organized with the units creating a larger pod circle.  The interior of the pod circle contained a large bathroom facility intended for the entire pod.  Each individual unit would contain sleeping and living quarters, but would not include bathroom or cooking facilities.  This resembled normal life on the Ark but provided more living room.  Each pod would have a shared source of running water at its bathroom facility center, and would provide the means to run electricity to each individual unit…in time. 

All 10 housing pods would be identical in construction.  A lottery would take place as to see which Skaikru members would be given which pod and ultimately which unit.  All Skaikru members would have access to and share the community area that lay within the center of the entire community.  Here several buildings would be built to suit the entire clan.  The medical facility, the cooking/dining hall, the barn/stable, a trading post, an outdoor area for meetings, the entertainment building, and a unity center designed to be clan friendly to members visiting from the other 12 clans, would be constructed with ample space within the grander circle that was the entire community.

All of the pods would be elevated 10 feet off the ground with a decking system connecting the individual units.  The community buildings would be at ground level as well as the connecting paths and main arteries of the town.  The elevation would allow easy access for installing and maintaining a piping system for water.  A drain and subsequent septic system would be constructed down and away from each pod. 

A plan was set in place to assign, providing preference to requests where possible, each Skaikru member to a work detail.  Assuming the member completed the work on time and adequately, he or she in turn would be granted free access to a living unit as well as free meals.  Additional work would be available and additional goods traded for those motivated and interested. 

Several hours later, the planning committee disassembles, agreeing to meet immediately after tomorrow’s council meeting.  This will allow them to finalize the layout once the location was confirmed. 

Feeling exhausted from the meeting, Clarke has allowed her emotions to regroup.  She sticks around after all but Lexa have left the meeting hall. 

“So, are you satisfied with how the planning is going so far?”  Clarke breaks the silence between them.

“I should ask you that, Clarke.  Is this plan something you think will work long term for your people?”  Lexa asks in response.

“Our people.”  Clarke corrects her. 

“Yes.”  Lexa smiles, “Our people.”

“I think it has potential.  We have a lot of work ahead of us, but it has potential.”  For a second, Clarke actually understands why Lexa needs Clarke to stay behind.  She realizes how big and important the task of creating the 13th clan will be.  She allows herself to feel good about her role in the project.

“Good.  I am glad you are happy with it.  If you approve, surly this can work out.” 

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Just that you have high standards, Clarke.”  Lexa smiles, “That’s not a bad thing.” 

Clarke pauses for a second.  Perhaps she did have high standards and high expectations, especially for Lexa.  She chooses to change the subject, “Are you hungry?”

Lexa sighs deeply, “Starving!”

“So, what’s our plan for dinner?  That is if we are still having dinner.”  Clarke questions, somewhat sarcastically.

Lexa, slightly rolling her eyes responds, “Yes, Clarke.  In fact, I have arranged for dinner to be brought to my room.  It should be ready as we speak.  Would you care to join me?”  Lexa reaches out her hand, guiding Clarke away from the mess on the meeting table. 

Clarke, taking Lexa’s hand, follows her without complaint.  They make their way to Lexa’s room, hand in hand the entire way.  Clarke is aware of their contact.  She is also aware that the halls remain empty in their transit.  She wonders if the two facts are related.  Before she can overthink it too much, they arrive at Lexa’s room.  Lexa opens the door for Clarke and motions for her to enter.

A table is set romantically for two.  A meal freshly severed await their arrival.  It smells of ribs, cut vegetables, and baked bread.  A carafe of wine and another of water are set between burning candles.

“After you.”  Lexa pulls the chair out for Clarke to sit. 

Blushing slightly at the romantic gesture, all Clarke can say is, “Thank you.”  She sits slightly ashamed of her earlier reaction.  She feels a little dizzy, head spinning with thoughts in juxtaposition.  The standoffish, professional, private Commander and the sensitive, warm and thoughtful Lexa, how could she embody both? How could Clarke navigate both? 

Pouring each a glass a wine, Lexa raises her cup to Clarke.  “To Skaikru, the 13th clan.”  Clarke raises her cup to join her.  Lexa adds, “And, to what little time we have before my trip, may it be well spent.”  Lexa winks across the table as she collides her cup with Clarke’s.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally going to include Clexa's dinner and night together, but I felt it was taking too long. Expect the update with these soon.


	13. Keryon Teina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke take advantage of their night together before both focus on their responsibilities.

Clarke sips her wine, head spinning.  She thinks to herself.  _What is it about this girl?  I can be so mad at her, so hurt by her, but then this.  How can she have such a power over me?_ Clarke, clearly irritated with herself for having no resolve when it comes to Lexa, stares at the woman across the table.

She is overcome by her beauty.  The evening sky has fallen, leaving only the candle light.  The slight flicker makes Lexa seem even more exotic and Clarke cannot get enough.  She takes in every detail, as if she were planning to replicate the scene in a drawing.  Perhaps she will.  She watches as Lexa slowly cut the meat from the bone, delicately placing it to her mouth.  Any thought that Lexa was a savage has been clearly refuted by this point.  She watches as Lexa takes a sip of her wine, eyes focus on her cup, and then to Clarke who is caught once again looking her way.

Lexa can’t help but notice that Clarke has eaten hardly any of her food.  She seems to be playing with it more than anything.  Catching her eyes, Lexa confronts her.  “Do you not like the food?  I know wild beast sometimes needs to acquire a liking?”

Clarke, snapped out of her thoughts, responds honestly.  “No, it’s actually quite good.  I haven’t had a fresh piece of meat probably since I’ve been here.”  She then takes a long sip of her wine again to hide her somewhat blushed face. 

“It just seems you haven’t eaten much.  Is something else troubling you?”  Lexa, setting her cup down to focus solely on Clarke waits for a response, somewhat nervously.  She knows something is eating at her. 

Clarke, guilty, breaks eye contact and looks to her plate.  She brushes her fork from side to side, sliding a piece of meat along the path.  She hesitates, willing the question to just vanish.

“Clarke.”  Lexa, again tries to confront the concern directly as she seems to do with every aspect of her life.  “You are not acting like the Clarke I’ve grown to know and enjoy.  Please talk to me, tell me what’s bothering you.” 

Looking back up, meeting Lexa’s clearly concerned gaze, Clarke debates within herself.  Really she has two concerns: she is upset that she cannot join Lexa on the trip to the 12 clans and more importantly, she is concerned that whatever it is that is developing between them is being pushed behind closed doors.  Clarke, too afraid to confront the bigger issue reveals the former.

“It’s just, I really would have liked to go with you as you travel to the other clans.  I guess I am a little jealous that I don’t get to go, and it’s getting the best of me.”  Clarke, feeling somewhat childish, looks away from Lexa as she speaks.

“Clarke, I’m sorry that you feel that way.  I can assure you that this trip will be very work focused and fast paced.  It will not be at all relaxing.  It is not at all a vacation.  I need to address the clans directly and professionally with their needs as my primary purpose.” 

Clarke, trying to fully understand Lexa, questions her further.  “And, that is something you wouldn’t be able to do with me around?”  Her voice hinged with a bit of a sour feel, her feelings clearly hurt at Lexa’s words.

Reaching across the table and grabbing Clarke’s hand with her own, Lexa soothes her.  “Niron, if you were with me I wouldn’t be able to focus on anything but you.  I want to show you all of the clans.  I want to see your reactions and share your experiences.  I want to be able to take our time and enjoy the moments, not be rushed by a schedule.” 

Clarke, now silent, listening to Lexa intently, slightly tears at her words.  Lexa adds, “This doesn’t mean that these things can’t happen, Clarke.  Just not on this first trip.  I plan to revisit again, with you.  When we can take our time.  After the 13th clan has been fully established and accepted.”  Running her thumb over the top of Clarke’s knuckles she asks, “Is that something you would be willing to do with me?  Will you take this trip with me in the future?” 

Lexa waits for Clarke’s response and uses her free hand to wipe away a fallen tear from Clarke’s cheek. 

Clarke, although her jealousy has not left, feels more at ease with Lexa’s explanation.  And, of course she wants to go with her in the future.  She just wants the future to come quickly!

“Yes, I think I would want that.”  Flipping her hand over, she entwines her fingers with Lexa’s.

“Good.  I look forward to it!”  Lexa smiles, feeling their talk had worked well to mend.  “Now, eat up.  You are going to need your energy.” 

Clarke, grabbing for her wine glass again to conceal her blush continues to wonder how this woman has such control over her.  Her words, her looks, her touch…Clarke became putty way to quickly for Lexa.  She hated how she lost control of her discipline, caving so fast and easy for her.  Oh, but she loved it too.

The pair finished their meal, taking their time while enjoying the opportunity to focus on taste and company.  Clarke, having had more than her share of the wine, poured the last of it into Lexa’s cup. 

“Would you like for me to have more wine brought up?”  Lexa began to stand assuming a yes for a response. 

“No.”  Clarke surprised her with her answer.  “I want to remember this.  I mean, I won’t be able to see you again for,” averting her eyes, “how long again?”

Lexa, for perhaps the first time, feels the same burning sensation that has been troubling Clarke most of the day.  She continues to stand up and walks to Clarke’s side of the table, motioning for her to stand as well.  When Clarke does, Lexa places her hands on Clarke’s hips and then extends them further around her back. 

“It may be a few weeks, but I will hurry.  I will miss this.  I will miss you.  Always.”  Nudging her from her back while stepping in closer, Lexa kisses Clarke.  Her kiss is soft and ignites a spark and a flood of goose bumps in both women.

Clarke extending her arms around Lexa’s shoulder, wrapping her hands behind Lexa’s head slightly entwined in her hair, she returns the kiss.  Again, a soft, yet passionate kiss that ends with Clarke tugging suggestively on Lexa’s lower lip.  Lexa breaks contact as she smiles and rests her forehead on Clarke’s. 

“Is it my turn, for you to stay all night here with me?”  Lexa ask, referencing her stay in Clarke’s room the night before. 

Clarke, not wanting to ever leave, tries to hold back a little of her excitement by jesting with Lexa.  “I suppose so.  Assuming we aren’t forced to visit my mother again at dawn.” 

Both girls begin to giggle with embarrassment.  Lexa’s lips return once again to kiss Clarke.  This time her soft kiss turns more passionate.  She breathes a response through the kiss, not wanting to break contact. “Ahhh, I will be gentle.”  Lexa tilts her head deepening her kiss further.  “I promise.” 

Clarke, feeling weightless in Lexa’s embrace and kiss, willingly obliges.  “Then yes.  I’ll stay.”  She could feel Lexa smile at her response.  Almost simultaneously, Lexa hoists Clarke into the air, propping her legs around her waist.  She carefully walks, step by step, cautious not to trip or drop her…after all she said she would be gentle…and makes her way to the foot of her bed.  Lexa slowly lowers Clarke to the bed.

Clarke was now sitting on the bed while Lexa stood in front of her.  Lexa hesitated before joining Clarke on the bed.  Clarke, now holding her hand, tugs for her to join.  Lexa paused for a minute longer, just standing there looking down at Clarke.  She finally gave in while whispering, “You are so beautiful, Clarke.” 

Lexa wondered how long Clarke would have this type of effect on her.  She could get lost in her beauty, and she knew it.  She knew she could easily falter her primary responsibility as Commander if she allowed Clarke to consume her.  In the next few weeks, Lexa knew she had to put Clarke out of her mind in order to focus on her job as the Commander, but right now, right now, she wanted nothing more than for Clarke to consume her entire being.  She wanted to drown in Clarke, and she was well on her way.         

Their connection was slow and deliberate rather than the mostly fast paced experiences they had shared up to this point.  They spent more than an hour laying, legs entwined with hands wandering while kissing softly.  Each girl had taken moments to stop to just look at the other, always resulting in a smiling blush.  This time, when Clarke pauses, her eyes well.

Lexa, placing a soft peck on Clarke’s nose pulls back and notices Clarke’s tears.  Kissing her eyes, effectively wiping away the moisture, she breaks the silence.  “Why the tears, beautiful?”

Smiling through another batch of released tears, Clarke responds.  “It’s just I really enjoy this side of you.  You are so gentle and warm.  I want to stay here in your arms and never move.”

Kissing her neck then jaw then lips, Lexa whispers, “So stay forever.”  Lexa continues to kiss Clarke’s neck before grabbing her hand.  She realizes that Clarke is likely thinking about their soon to be distance as she slides Clarkes hand over her heart.  She stopped to look Clarke in the eyes.  “Stay here, forever.”   

It was a vague statement, but it was grand in Clarke’s eyes.  It reminded her of when Lexa knelt before her to pledge fealty to her and the 13th clan.  It was something that Lexa was doing behind closed doors, free to be and feel as herself.  No hindrance of the Commander in sight.  Clarke knew the Commander shouldn’t be giving away her heart, she was supposed to focus solely on her people.  Clarke was grateful Lexa let her in, even if the doors always seemed to be shut when she showed it.

Smiling at the gesture, Clarke wiped her own tears and vowed to focus on the moment and not the loneliness looming in the near future.  Lexa, recognizing the positive affect her words had on Clarke is empowered and moves to mount her.  Putting one knee on either side of Clarke’s hips, Lexa’s slow pace has suddenly quickened.  She slid her hands under the hem of Clarke’s shirt and lifted it revealing Clarke’s stomach.  She traced kisses up and down the exposed skin, as Clarke wiggle beneath her.  Lexa traced her tongue down a path from her ribs to her belly button to the peak of her pants while reaching farther under Clarke’s shirt, each hand working to gently massage Clarke’s breasts. 

Clarke noticing Lexa’s change in pace suggests slowing back down.  Grabbing her hand and pausing the motion on her chest she says, “Maybe we should wait this time.  You know, have something to really look forward to when we see each other again.”  Clarke thoroughly enjoyed the slow burning attention Lexa had been giving her and for some reason she thought parting with this memory may make the pain less.  Lexa, well, Lexa was not really about that suggestion. 

Instead, Lexa decided to make a game out of it.  Mischievously, she began to tease Clarke with her touch and her kisses.  Enjoying the challenge, Lexa responded by tracing her hands beyond Clarke’s hips, “So, you don’t want me to touch here?”  She grabs Clarke’s ass.  “And you don’t want me to kiss, here?”  Her hands strongly cupping Clarke’s sex, surprising her.  Clarke exhaled at the contact and Lexa took advantage kissing her mouth, taking in her breath. 

Her kiss once again deepened before leaving her mouth to begin her trail down Clarke.  Lexa entwined both hands in Clarke’s as she moved from her mouth to her neck, from her shoulders to her chest.  Quickly pushing up her shirt, Lexa moves her mouth to Clarke’s breast.  She hesitates momentarily, continuing her tease.  “Oh, wait, you were saying you didn’t want this, right?”  Lexa bit down on Clarke’s nipple, smiling at its reaction as Clarke involuntarily bucked her hips.

Clarke, slightly frustrated with herself for her inability to take a stand, remains silent, enjoying the game Lexa has chosen to play.  She squeezes Lexa’s fingers tighter between her own.  Lexa takes that as a message to take the game to the next level.

Continuing her journey down Clarke’s body, she pulled the button on Clarke’s pants loose with her teeth.  Waiting to see if Clarke protested, she was pleased to continue in removing her pants, leaving her underwear intact.  Lexa continued with her kisses, first down each thigh and then to Clarke’s center.  She placed her open mouth directly over Clarke’s center and exhaled firmly.  The warmth and slight vibration once again elicited the involuntary buck of Clarke’s hips. 

Teasing Clarke further, Lexa traced her tongue around the perimeter of her bikini line, spending much time around her inner thighs.  Breathing heavily a second time directly over Clarke’s center ignited a different response as Clarke simply shouts Lexa’s name.

“Lexa!” 

Rather than stop, Lexa only paused to remove Clarke’s underwear. 

“Are you sure you don’t want this Clarke?  Because your body is telling me something else.”  Lexa speaks into Clarke’s thigh as she gently traces her finger through the moisture that has developed between Clarke’s legs.  Again, Clarke responds by squeezing Lexa’s other hand, still entwined in her own. 

Taking that as permission, Lexa continues her pursuit to tease and torture Clarke.  She kisses everywhere around Clarke’s sex, but every time she approaches her center she hovers over and simply breathes, sometimes presenting just the tip of her tongue, immediately retracting. 

“Lexa!”  Clarke calls for her again.

“You don’t want this, Clarke?”  Lexa presses her tongue softly between the wet folds in front of her, again, immediately retreating.  Clarke, this time voluntarily, bucks her hips, trying to regain contact. 

“Lexa.”  Clarke, pleadingly calls her name once more.

“What do you want, Clarke, if it is not this.”  Lexa dips her tongue into Clarke, this time hesitating a bit longer before retreating. 

Clarke responds with a groan and plead, “I want it, Lexa.  I want it.”

Kissing her inner thigh she responds, “You want what baby?”

Now getting a little frustrated, Clarke yells, “You.  I want you Lexa.”

Continuing her tease, “You have me baby.  Slow and patient, like you wanted.”  She breathes again into Clarke’s center, this time denying Clarke’s throb the wet touch it craved.

“It’s okay, Lexa.  I want you.”  Lowering her voice slightly while once again bucking her hips, “Please.”

Lexa, now pleased that she is fully in control keeps at her game.  “But you already have me.”  Once again she kisses Clarke’s thigh, while gently tracing the outline of Clarke’s center.

Clarke, now fully aware of Lexa’s game, couldn’t tame the burning and throbbing building between her legs.  “Lexa!”  This time her voice was almost yelling at her.

Lexa can’t help but giggle at the condition Clarke has found herself in.  Not backing down, she continues her tease, every so often grazing Clarke’s sweet center with her tongue and lips.  Strongly massaging her legs and inner thighs, she knows Clarke won’t hold out for long.

“Lexa!”  Again, a somewhat frustrated yell escapes Clarke as she desperately bucks her hips once again. 

“Tell me what you want Clarke.”  Lexa is not going to let her off the hook that easily.

Clarke, swallowing all pride, gives completely in.  “Fuck me.  I want you to fuck me Lexa.”  She can’t believe the effect this woman had on her.  She went from wanting to deny Lexa anymore sex until she returned, to begging Lexa to fuck her.  She was certain some strange being had occupied her body rendering it enable of all control, at least when it came to Lexa.

Lexa, again pleased with her defeat, and with her own excitement building, goes from barely grazing Clarke’s core to ravishing it.   She drives her tongue deep into Clarke, who responds once again thrusting her hips causing her contact to deepen even farther.  Removing her tongue, she thrusts again, and again.  She spends the majority of time here, but periodically refocuses her mouth over Clarke’s clit.  She licks softly then sucks strongly, taking it completely into her mouth.  Careful not to spend too much time here, so to delay Clarke in the climax that was almost always just bordering. 

Again, her game was played.  Sucking just long enough to bring Clarke to the edge, then retreating, denying Clarke’s growing need to release.  Time after time she followed this pattern, and Clarke, beginning to numb couldn’t handle it anymore.  Reaching down with her own hand she rubbed quick circles around her clit, aching for release.  Lexa immediately pulled Clarke’s hand away, denying her.

“Lexa, please.”  Clarke begging for release, once again putty in her hands. 

Lexa refocusing on Clarke’s clit, pulls it completely into her mouth, holding her there, hesitating.

“Lexa, I’m so close.  Make me cum.”  Her voice was desperate, completely exhausted from Lexa’s game and touch. 

Lexa can’t deny her any longer and rapidly flicks Clarke over and over.  It’s not a minute later that Clarke has peaked.  Her climax was strong and consisted of several waves.  Lexa rode each wave, enjoying the reaction and affect she had on Clarke.  She eases away from her as the tides had passed.  Clarke, extra sensitive, jerks back as Lexa brushed her tongue one more time along her center.

“Sensitive, babe.  Way too sensitive.”  Clarke reaches for Lexa’s hands pulling her up to kiss her.  She can taste herself on Lexa’s lips and pulls back a little bit embarrassed.  Lexa not fazed by the mixture of sweet tastes pushes forward, continuing the kiss.  Recognizing Clarke’s need for a break, she lowers her head and rests on her chest, mindlessly tracing irregular patterns across her belly. 

They lie there for at least 15 minutes before Clarke breaks the silence.  “Sorry, I just needed a minute.  I’m not sure what you do to me, but…”

Lexa cuts her off, rubbing her finger across her lips.  “Shhhh.  Don’t worry so much babe.  I’m enjoying every minute of this.”  Before she can pull her finger away, Clarke bites it, not letting go.  Turning her bite into a seductive suckle on Lexa’s finger, Lexa can’t help but smile. 

Sitting up, she moves to pull Lexa’s shirt up over her head.  Obliging, Lexa says, “Well, looks like someone has recovered.”  Clarke leans back into Lexa, kissing her lips.  Her hands, with a different motivation, work to unclasp Lexa’s bra.  It drops, exposing her breasts.  Breaking her kiss to admire the new sight in front of her, Clarke runs her hands down Lexa’s back, around her sides and up to her breasts.  She returns to their kiss as her hands continue to massage Lexa, teasing and pulling at her nipple.  Goose bumps erupt across Lexa as she smiles with the welcomed contact.

Clarke, feeling the want and need to take control pushes Lexa down, moving right to her pants.  Working efficiently, she removes both her pants and underwear in one strong tug.     

Lexa chuckles, “I guess we are moving on from the slow burn, huh?” 

Pulling Lexa back into a sitting position, Clarke doesn’t respond, instead she pushes a strong kiss into Lexa’s neck, breathing strongly.  Shifting to sit cross legged, Clarke pulls Lexa onto her lap.  Continuing her kiss, her hands work to strongly caress Lexa’s back.  Lexa moans in response as she runs her fingers through Clarke’s hair, relishing her contact. 

Lexa, still aroused from her game with Clarke thrusts her hips into Clarke’s stomach.  Smiling at her movement, Clarke lays back into the bed, keeping Lexa’s position steady with both hands on her hips.  Lexa looking down to Clarke wants to follow, but before she can, Clarke bucked her hips into Lexa who still sat on top of her.  Now understanding, Lexa shifted her legs one above Clarke’s hip and the other below. 

Lexa grinds into Clarke.  The shift in position brings contact between their centers.  Clarke, still wet and swollen from before was a soft landing place for Lexa’s core.  Her folds, swollen and wet themselves, throb as she grinds again and again into Clarke.  Both girls moan at the feeling of warm contact.  Her clit, brushing against Clarke over and over again sends Lexa to a new level of need.

Clarke with her eyes closed enjoying the contact is startled as Lexa suddenly jumps up.  She pulls Clarke lower on the bed and pushes her hips up locking her arms under either knee.  Laying between Clarke’s legs, Lexa grinds harder into Clarke.  Each thrust stronger than the last.  Sitting upright slightly, she presses Clarke’s legs deeper into the bed, exposing her further.  Lexa grinds into her with a primal urge.  Her clit, fully swollen, drags back and forth over Clarke, pushing her to another height.

Lexa, ready to cum all over Clarke, buries her head into Clarke’s shoulder, completely focused on her thrusting.  Her pace and force at a maximum, brings her to grunt with each motion.  Clarke, lifting her hips slightly adds just a little more contact between them.  It is enough to send Clarke spiraling into another orgasm.  This one was different, it was steady and seemed unending.  She felt light-headed as she breathe hungrily and moan loudly. 

The sound of Clarke moaning pushes Lexa over the top.  Her orgasm, strong and quick, makes her tense, holding a tight contact between them.  She can feel herself drip into Clarke.  Retreating slowly, she returns contact, gently caressing and spreading the wet between them.  It was a welcomed contact that Clarke could feel resonate even as Lexa finally pulled away, breathless. 

Lexa collapsed on the bed, lying next to Clarke’s side.  Staring at the ceiling Lexa fell deep into thought.  She wondered what it was about Clarke that sent her into such a state.  Sure, she had been intimate with Costia and she enjoyed that thoroughly, but the primal need just elicited by Clarke was something new to Lexa.  She had an indescribable need to get closer and closer to her.  To be in her, on her, around her, to be her everything.  Lexa realized she could not get enough of Clarke, and it scared her. 

She wanted their bodies, their lives to be united.  But, Lexa knew that more than a private relationship during “off hours” was something the Commander was not meant to have.  She knew that thoughts of a future, a long term future, was something risky for someone in her position.  After all, the longest any Commander had ever sat on the throne was just over 10 years.  Most were killed or murdered much sooner. 

Lexa turning her head, looked back at Clarke, who lay fully satisfied with her eyes closed.  Suddenly Lexa felt an immense fear as she recognized the emotion bubbling up inside of her.  She swore she would never love another woman after what happened to Costia.  But this boiling inside her was unstoppable.  Even if she walked away now, ending whatever it was that they had begun, Lexa knew she wouldn’t be able to escape the desire for Clarke.  She was infected.  It was in her bones, in her guts, in her groin.      

Rather than focus her thoughts and energy on how to avoid falling for Clarke, her mind turned to uncharted territory.  _How can I make a life for us?  How can I keep her safe, but stay with her?  How can I remain loyal to my people by being the Commander, but provide Clarke with the type of life and relationship she deserves?_ Lexa exhaled deeply as she struggled internally, breaking Clarke from her silence. 

Clarke, turning to her side to face Lexa runs her finger across Lexa’s hip.  “What’s wrong, babe?”  She continues tracing her finger up Lexa’s side and finally stops at Lexa’s chin. 

Shifting to look back at Clarke, Lexa smiles, “You wear me out.”  Avoiding any deep discussion or confrontation, Lexa decides to keep her concerns to herself. 

Clarke responds with a brief smile.  “I guess we’ll just have to build your stamina then.” 

Lexa can’t help but smile back.  Truly, she could be ready to go again in minutes, her stamina was pristine.  But she allows Clarke to think otherwise.  It was safer.  Her heart swollen with want and desire for this woman, Lexa considers one possibility.  _“Keryon teina.”_   Something that existed in grounder culture, but was rarely exercised. 

“What?”  Clarke furrows her eye brows not understanding Lexa’s words. 

Not realizing she had spoken out loud, Lexa backs down.  “Nothing.  Sorry.”

Clarke, not settling for that as an answer returns with a frown. 

Placing a sweet kiss on her cheek Lexa pleads, “Reshop, Clarke.  You need your sleep.  I have some plans for you in the morning.”

Unable to stop her smile at Lexa’s mischievous grin, Clarke concedes, lying her head on Lexa’s shoulder.  Lexa wraps one arm around Clarke, using her other to find Clarke’s hand.  She tangles her fingers with Clarke’s and exhales softly.  Fully relaxed and free, Lexa quickly fell asleep.  Neither girl broke their embrace throughout the night, enjoying every last moment shared between them. 


	14. chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa finally embarks on her journey to the 12 clans and runs into a familiar character, while Clarke supervises the construction of the 13th clan’s village.

“Clarke.”  Lexa whispered into Clarke’s ear.  Both girls still naked from the night before lay entangled with one another in Lexa’s bed.  Clarke with her arm wrapped around Lexa who used Clarke’s breast as a pillow throughout the night.

“Mhmm.”  Clarke moans a sleepy response.  “What baby.  It’s early and you’re comfy.” 

“Clarke, get up, I want to show you something.”  Lexa, sitting up, tugs at Clarke’s arm to follow her. 

“Can’t you show me right here?  It’s so warm and….” Lexa now standing naked on the side of the bed distracted Clarke’s attention.  “…and there is plenty to look at here.”  Clarke smiles looking at the picture of perfection in front of her. 

“Clarke, come on.  Come with me.”  Tugging Clarke’s arm again, Lexa is successful in convincing Clarke to leave the warm bed.  “Here.”  Lexa wraps a sheet around Clarke, while pressing a soft kiss to her temple.  “Thanks for humoring me.  I promise it will be worth it.” 

Still hand in hand, Lexa guided Clarke across her room to the open balcony.  She sat in a slightly reclined chair and motioned for Clarke to sit in front of her.  Clarke obediently followed suit.  Clarke sat between Lexa’s legs and could feel her body warming her back.  Lexa immediately wrapped her legs around Clarke and pulled her flush.  The soft touch of Lexa’s groin tickled Clarke briefly until she sat back into her, granting all of her wait to Lexa.  The sheet was draped across both of them as they say comfortably as one. 

Wrapping her arms around Clarke and kissing her neck, Lexa whispered, “I wanted you to see the sunrise from my perspective.”  The sky was still dark, but it was mere minutes before the sunrise began.  From the top of the tower in Polis, the view was spectacular.  The horizon seemed to stretch endlessly.  Clarke gazed at the complexity and variety of soft oranges and yellows that seemed to engulf her. 

“This is amazing, Lex.”  Clarke entwined her fingers with Lexa’s, squeezing slightly at her appreciation.

“Lex?”  Lexa smiled as she questioned Clarke’s new pet name. 

“Sorry.  I can call you somethi…”

“No.  It’s okay.”  Lexa changing tone slightly, “For you only, of course.”

“Of course, Commander.”  Clarke giggled playfully.  “But no, really, this is an amazing view.  I have seen the Sun from the perspective of the Ark, but nothing quite like this.”

Lexa, pleased with herself adds to her purpose.  “I know you are upset with this trip that I have to take tonight.” 

Clarke tenses at the reminder, but Lexa tightens her grip around her.  “I want you to know that I will be up every morning just before sunrise.  I will watch it just as we are doing here, right now.  I will know that you are watching the same thing.  So if you feel we are too distant, know that I am thinking of you as the Sun takes its place in our horizon.  And, know that I will look forward to the morning when we can watch it together again.” 

Clarke does not respond, but instead exhales audibly.  A few moments later, Lexa notices a tear drop fall to her arm.  She does not press Clarke on the issue, but rather squeezes her grip even tighter while peppering her neck and shoulders with soft kisses. 

“I’m going to miss you, but I will be back before you even know it.  I know you will be busy helping Skaikru build their village.  I know they need you.  There is no one better to lead them to success, Clarke.”  Lexa continues to kiss Clarke softly between her words.

Finally, Clarke responds.  “It’s just, we only just now have been able to be together.  I don’t want anything to come between us.  I don’t want anything or anyone to hurt you, Lexa.”

“Clarke.  Ai laik Heda.  I will be fine.”  The Commander’s confidence had clearly resurfaced.  She adds, “Our feelings were able to break through the walls of two different people.   Our feelings were able to stop a new war from forming.  Our feelings will survive a short work trip.”  She adds the last statement with a small smirk on her face.    

Finally coming to terms with their situation, Clarke exhales again, this time in defeat.  “Just hurry.  Okay.”

Lexa, kissing her neck again breathes her answer, “Always.”

***

Lexa spent the majority of the day with Clarke, which pleased her significantly.  It seemed she was well aware of the attention Clarke was thirsting for and obediently gave it to her.  After falling back asleep in each other’s arms on the balcony long after the sunrise, the girls took their time bathing, eating and getting ready for the day.

Clarke sat on Lexa’s bed sketching as Lexa took the time to pack for her trip.  Every once in a while both girls would steal a glance at what the other was doing. 

“What are you drawing, Clarke?”  Lexa lunged forward to catch a glimpse of Clarke’s sketch.  It was clearly incomplete, but the war makeup mask she saw was irrefutable.  Lexa smiled, knowing she was the center of Clarke’s attention. 

“Hey, you can’t look until it’s finished.  I will show you when you get back.”  Clarke pulled her sketch to her chest hiding any additional clues from being exposed. 

Accepting Clarke’s rules, Lexa leaned in further settling for a kiss instead.  She immediately returned to her packing.  She didn’t bring much, considering she may be gone for a couple of weeks.  Her travel trunk contained about 10 sets of clothing.  Some extra layers were added in for warmth, likely for during travel or sleeping.  Her array of apparel was quite narrow.  Most items were black or gray, with the occasional red or green thrown in.  She expected that daily essentials would be provided by the host clan to which they were staying, so things like food and bedding were left behind. 

Just as she was ready to close the trunk, Clarke paused Lexa, reaching her hand out to stop the action.  “Wait.”  Clarke smiling ear to ear, “Close your eyes.  I have a surprise I want to pack for you.”  Lexa obliged, while Clarke slipped her own bra deep into the middle of the trunk.  It was a spontaneous action.  Clarke was really just being silly more than anything, but wanted Lexa to have a physical reminder of her.  Especially an intimate one.  “Wait until you’re gone before you go looking for it.”

Smiling at Clarke, Lexa saunters over to her.  “Okay.”  She responds while leaning in to kiss Clarke.  “Should I be worried that you are going to slip yourself into this truck while I’m not looking?”  Lexa added teasingly, while deepening her kiss. 

“Mhmm, I haven’t thought of that.” Clarke breathed her answer through their kiss.  “Maybe.”  She ended with a naughty smirk.

Pulling back from their kiss and looking Clarke in the eyes, Lexa softly pledges to Clarke.  “I promise to make our reunion worth waiting for, Clarke.  Plus riding in a trunk for a couple of weeks wouldn’t be very…”  Lexa was interrupted by Clarke’s lips returning to hers.

After a quick kiss, Clarke responds, “Just be careful, Lexa.  Hurry back, or I’ll put you in a trunk!”  Lexa raised her left eyebrow in a perfect arch at Clarke’s playful threat.  Before she had a chance to challenge her on her threat, Clarke returned for a final kiss, making Lexa forget about challenging anything.

***

After an early dinner together once again in the privacy of Lexa’s room, the impending meeting and departure loomed nearer and nearer. 

Staring at Clarke from across the table, Lexa finally pulled the trigger on reality.  “As much as I would love to stay here with you forever, we really must be getting to the planning meeting.  It probably wouldn’t make a great statement if we showed up late together.” 

Clarke realized that they must be on their way, but something about the way Lexa phrased that last part didn’t sit right with her.  Showing up late as the Commander surely was not a great image to have.  But, why would being late _with_ her be the issue.  Clarke considered pushing for clarification, but she didn’t want anything to ruin the perfect day that they were able to spend together.  She didn’t want anything negative between them as Lexa was preparing to leave for her trip.  Clarke just let it go.

Sighing at reality, Clarke huffed her response.  “Yeah, you’re probably right.”  Her pouty face elicited one more kiss from Lexa before Clarke turned to open the door.  Before Clarke could open the door completely, Lexa pushed it shut again. 

“I want a proper good bye, and I don’t know that there will be time after the meeting.”  Lexa stared at Clarke, who seemed a little confused.  This Lexa was dominant and demanding. 

She leaned back in kissing Clarke hard on the mouth.  Her tongue invaded Clarke as if searching for something stolen.  Reaching down, Lexa pulled Clarke onto her hips, swinging Clarke’s legs around her waist as she pushed her back into the door.  Her kiss still aggressive quickly migrated from Clarke’s lips to her neck.  Squeezing Clarke’s legs tighter with her arms, Lexa sucked forcefully on Clarke’s collarbone, intentionally bruising her skin.  Clarke, taken by surprise, could only gasp at Lexa’s display.  She ran both hands through Lexa’s hair, carefully avoiding any snags with her braids. 

Slowly releasing her grip on Clarke, Lexa allowed Clarke to slip back to her feet.  Her kiss returning once more to Clarke’s lips for a final kiss.  Hesitating on her lower lip for just a second, Lexa exhaled softly.  “That’s my good bye kiss if I don’t get a chance to give it to you later.” 

Clarke, completely turned on responds, “Damn, Lex.  You really know how to get a girl wet just in time to leave her.” 

“Something to think about until I get back.”  Lexa smiled, enjoying the little bit of discomfort she had forced onto Clarke.

After a second of calming down, the two left Lexa’s room and headed for the meeting room.

***

The planning committee meeting began promptly, where both Lexa and Clarke were able to compose themselves to arrive slightly early.  After a quick introduction, Lexa directed the focus to Skaikru’s desired location.

Kane took charge in revealing the details of the decided location for the 13th clan.  “As it turns out, there is a fresh water source, a stream, just about a half mile from our current temporary camp.  After discussing some facts with our engineering team, we determined the running water would be sufficient for creating our needed electricity.  The fresh water source will also be filtered and available for our potable water needs as well as to help nurture a future farm.  Being so close to Polis, we will be able to trade for additional needed supplies with ease and convenience.”

Kane continued to list the reasons why their chosen location makes sense, and how they can convert what is there or not there into something that will work.  Lexa was completely professional, paying attention to every word Kane had to offer.  Clarke, on the other hand, was focused more on staring at Lexa rather than listening to the planning.  She already memorized Lexa’s eyes, she was focused in on the other details of her face.  Her royal cheek bones, her flawless jawline, her full lips; she was studying for a final in which she would have to completely recall all of Lexa’s features, and she was acing it. 

Clarke was brought back to reality when Lexa made eye contact with her.  Something about it still made chills run through her.  She wondered how long Lexa would have that effect on her.   

Turning to Kane, Lexa inquired more about the electricity plan.  “So how is it that our stream could possibly supply your village with electrictic?”

Smiling at her misspoken term, Raven budded in.  “Electricity.”

“Right, electricity.”  The Commander corrected herself.

Raven continued to explain.  “The stream is a constant source of motion.  We can build a mill with a turbine.  The water will run over the blades and spin the turbine.  Anytime there is a magnet and a wire in close distance to one another, as long as one is moving relative to the other, electricity is generated.  So we get the moving water, to move a prop, to move a magnet to generate a current and presto, we have our source.  We of course have to run wires and install transformers and probably batteries and generators and…”

Lexa cut Raven’s rambling off.  “I see, Raven.  That is exactly why I have asked you to join me on the trip to the 12 clans.  You will be able to see these things we know nothing about.” 

Raven, proud of herself, was too engrossed in the positive attention to notice Abby’s expression turn sour. 

“Raven, you didn’t mention anything about that plan to us.”  Abby questioned her, bringing her back to Earth from her high cloud.

“The Commander wanted it to be on the DL, you know.” 

“Well, the Commander probably doesn’t know anything about your condition.  Or, why traveling on horseback all across this damn place would be horrible for you.”  Abby’s couldn’t control her motherly instincts. 

Looking to Raven, Lexa inquired, “What does she mean, condition?  Is there something you’re not telling me?”

“No, I’m totally fine.  I got this.  I want to go.  I need to go.”  Raven was right.  She did need to go.  She had been longing for a purpose and vision and a second chance ever since she lost Finn.  This was it.  She had a reason to be important.  She had a place in others’ lives, where she would feel relevant.  But she was lying to herself.  She couldn’t even get off of a horse by herself, let alone travel across the land by horseback daily.

“Raven.”  Abby’s tone was not authoritative.  She realized she would not be able to reason with Raven, so she turned to Lexa.

“Commander, Raven has an injury that has left her leg and back in severe pain.  She needs a surgery on it, but she is refusing treatment.  She can’t even get on a horse, let alone ride across town with you from clan to clan.”  Abby pleaded her case, hoping the Commander would believe her and do what is best for Raven.

Clarke, just sitting back and observing the discussion couldn’t help but feel a little torn.  She was both sorry for Raven yet selfishly she didn’t actually want Raven to go.  Her mature self fought with her jealous immature self, she wasn’t sure which one she actually wanted to win.

Leave it to Lexa to be just perfect in every way.  She took in what was happening and made a quick assessment.  “Raven, I believe Abby wouldn’t lie about your medical status.”

Raven glared fire starting eyes at Abby for her betrayal.

Lexa added, “But Raven your skills are needed on this trip.  If you cannot ride horseback, we will travel in one of your people’s transports.”

Raven, totally elated at her response pipes up, “You mean a rover?”

“Yes, I believe that is what they call it.”  Lexa smiles knowing her words and decision have meant the world to Raven.  Turning to Kane she added, “Would this be possible?  Could you spare your rover for our trip?” 

Kane quickly responded, “Well of course, Commander.  But, we will have to discuss fuel storage so you don’t run out.  Unless you end up coming back here for refueling, although that is probably less efficient.”

“We can certainly plan for whatever allows for the most expedited travel.”  Lexa looks to Clarke as she makes the last statement.  Not only will taking a rover make it possible for Raven to make the trip, it should also make the trip faster overall, which is obviously a win win for both Lexa and Clarke. 

The meeting continued with minor adjustments to the original village layout, but all in all a clear vision was created with a means and plan to implement.  Then it was over. 

“Raven, are you prepared to leave shortly?”  Lexa asked as the other members were walking out of the meeting. 

“My bags are waiting in the hall, Commander.”  She ended with a military salute that left Lexa puzzled.  

“The rover should be brought over fully stocked shortly.  Have your bags loaded.  Let’s leave as soon as possible.”  Lexa was already walking out when Raven hesitated. 

“Aren’t you going to say good-bye to Clarke?”  Raven was confused.  To her their relationship was obvious, as well as not a big deal.  She knew Clarke well enough to know she needed this and wanted this good-bye.

Turning to face Clarke, Lexa smiled at her.  “Good bye, Clarke.  Good luck in your work constructing the 13th clan.”  With that she exited the meeting room and made her way to an orderly, instructing him to take her truck to the rover. Once again, she was completely business Lexa, or rather, Commander. 

Raven stuck around for another moment, looking at Clarke.  “Not much for good-byes I take it?” 

Clarke rolled her eyes in response.  “Not much for PDA, more like it.”

Nodding her acknowledgement, Raven added, “We’ll see about that Griffin.  I’ll get her to break for you.  I’m good at these things.”

“Raven, no.  Don’t say anything.  She doesn’t know I told you about us at all.”

“Please Clarke.  You didn’t have to tell me anything.  I can see your love eyes and her girl boner with my own eyes you know.”

“Raven, just please don’t.  You don’t know her, she can be…”

“That’s the point Clarke.  I’ll get to know her.  You’ll see.  It will all be better.  Momma’s got this.”

She couldn’t explain why or how, but Clarke believed Raven.  Somehow she has a way with words that may be annoying most of the time, but will eventually break down the toughest barriers.  Maybe Raven’s loud mouth was exactly what Clarke needed, since she couldn’t bring up her concerns directly to Lexa anyway.  For the first time, Clarke was actually glad Raven was going with Lexa.

“Rae.”

“Ya, babe.”

“Keep her safe.”

A wordless nod expressed more than words could have.  It was the same nod she had given Raven when Raven asked her to kill Lexa only months ago.  But Raven soon realized Clarke’s actions to kill Finn were actually merciful.  She knew what Clarke had done for Finn, for her, was the right decision.  Even if it took a little piece of her soul along the way. 

Raven turned and was gone, journeys and purpose awaiting her.

***

Clarke didn’t see Lexa again before she left on her journey.  She decided it would be best to head to the temporary camp instead of staying in Polis.  There she could focus on her duty, rather than her feelings.  She quickly found Lincoln recruiting people for the lumber crew.  Some hesitated, but when they realized consistent membership on a work crew was their key to free room and board in the new village, many jumped at the opportunity.  They certainly didn’t want to be stuck on janitorial crew because they waited too long to sign up!

Lincoln was successful in signing up several local members from Trikru.  They knew the woods better than anyone, and he knew that they would be best at helping to clear the intended area.  With a promise of free meals while working and a reminder that every clan had to sign up a quota of members to assist in order to receive their intended updates, it was actually quite easy.  Lincoln also thought his old clan was curious about the new Skaikru.  The opportunity to work hand in hand was just want some wanted to be able to see firsthand who the newest clan was and what they were about.

Clarke would have thought the tree clearing would have started at first light, but Trikru seemingly could see in the dark.  The sound of crashing trees could be heard from over a half mile away in the temporary camp.  It had a similarity to a wartime shelling.  Some Skaikru members, still a little on edge with life in a new world under a past hostile dictator, jumped at every thud.  It didn’t faze Clarke.  Every thud to her was a step closer to a successful Skaikru village.  And, success in building the village was the only thing Clarke would allow herself to think about.

Abby saw things a little differently.  Clarke walked up on her having and argument with Kane. 

“Marcus.  I know you want to get started right away, but cutting down trees in the dark!  Are we asking for someone to get killed here?”

“Abby, there are only Trikru members and a few of us in the woods right now.  They are making so much progress, I don’t want to interrupt them or their ways.  We asked for help and they are giving it to us.”

“Might I remind you that my medical facility is a bunch of boxes in a tent right now?  If someone gets a limb crushed, I won’t have what I need to help them.  I just don’t want to be responsible for anyone’s death because of your stupidity.  You are our interim chancellor.  The Commander has given you authority over this project.  You can stop this nonsense.”

Marcus smiles, fully understanding Abby’s concern, but focusing on the bigger picture.  “This is their way Abby.  They have been doing it long before we have come here, I am not going to tell them it’s wrong now.”

Abby simply scoffs at his response, then adds, “Well you might as well take your ass there to ‘oversee’ because you’re sure as hell not sleeping in here with me tonight.  Turning on her heels in frustration because she lost the debate, Abby runs into Clarke.

“Clarke, you’re back.”  Abby mustered up a smile, although the sight of her daughter did ignite genuine happiness.  “How’s your head doing?  We should be able to remove your stitches soon.”

“Yes, it’s been fine since you fixed it mom.  I think probably another day or two and they can come out.  Thank you.”  Clarke smiles at her mom, then watches as Kane walks away with authority.  “You know, mom, he’s right.”

“Clarke, I won’t do this again.  I have teenagers asking to get killed in the woods right now.  I have to focus.”

“Mom, if I have learned anything about the locals here, it’s that they are stubborn.  They are set in their ways and the only way to make them change or even to consider changing is if you let them believe it is their idea.” 

“How can I make Trikru believe waiting until dawn is their idea?”

“You probably can’t.”

Abby scoffs again, this time at her daughter.  “Thanks a lot Clarke.”

“But in the future, maybe you could.  I mean, you have to show them a way that could be better.  Let them _see_ why that could work for them, and then plant the seed that it’s their idea.”

“Thanks Clarke, but not too helpful right now.  Besides, I’m pretty sure you haven’t mastered getting your way with the grounders yet either.”  Abby regrets her last statement before she even finishes saying it.  The look of hurt on Clarke’s face was not her intention. 

“Clarke, I’m just teasing.  I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine.  Lexa was right.  I have more persuasion here and things need to be done properly.  I will see to it that it happens.  And right now, that means, let Trikru be Trikru.” 

Abby decides to let it go and instead spend her time updating her inventory of supplies. 

“Oh, and mom,” Clarke turns to face Abby again before walking out, “that also means the first building constructed is your medical facility.  Kane is wrong, a dining hall is not the first necessity.  The people can bond eating in front of a fire as easily as on picnic tables.”

Abby smiled at Clarke as she left and realized her baby that she sent down to Earth had matured into a full-fledged adult.  One with more experience and resolve, heart and purpose, resilience and confidence, courage and love than most people achieve over a lifetime.  She was very proud of Clarke, and she knew she had to make it known.  She followed behind Clarke, already on her way outside of the tent.

“Clarke, Clarke, wait.”  Abby yelled for her and was happy to see Clarke turn and return.

“Yah mom.”  

“Thank you.”  Abby said clearly but softly.  “I’m very proud of you.  You’re right.  Lexa was right to leave you to oversee everything.  You’ll do great.  It will be great.”  Reading more into it besides building a town, Abby adds, “And, Clarke, it will be fine.” 

She said it without saying it.  Abby tried to relieve her daughter in telling her that Lexa will be safe.  Lexa will return.  That their relationship will work out.  Clarke wasn’t sure how Abby could sense all that she was feeling and worried about, but she did.  And her words were helpful in comforting her. 

“Thanks mom.  I hope so.”  Her response had a moment of weakness. 

Abby took a step closer, cupping Clarke’s chin, tilting it back up from the downward angle it had just taken.  She may be an adult, but she was still her daughter. 

“It will be perfect, Clarke.”  Abby smiled and Clarke couldn’t help but return her own.       

***

It was only 45 minutes into the trip when Lexa questioned her decision about bringing Raven.  Raven drove the rover, against Abby’s recommendation, but she managed using her left foot to fuel and brake instead of her right.  Lexa sat in the front seat and two trusted guards sat in the back.  Raven had spent the first 30 minutes of the drive explaining every button to Lexa.  At first she was intrigued, but soon Raven fell upon the CD player.  From there the conversation went from a two-way educational one, to a one-way karaoke one.

Using some CD’s that were recovered from Mount Weather, Raven carefully walked Lexa through the decades of music, choosing one classic from each.  It may have been entertaining or even endearing, except the music was played to capacity, and Raven’s singing, even louder, was barely understandable.

After trying more than once to get Raven’s attention, Lexa finally turned off the radio.  She was pleased with herself that she recalled the correct button for that action. 

“Imagine all the people, living life as one….yuuoooouu..” Raven turned to look at Lexa as her background music shut off.  “Hey we only made it to the 60’s we have a long way to go.”

Relieved knowing she has a break, Lexa interrupted, “We’re here.” 

Looking around Raven only saw more road and dense trees.  “Um, Commander.  We’re where?” 

Smiling as the camouflage clearly worked on Raven, Lexa responded, “We’re here.  My old village.  It’s a typical Trikru village.  This should give you a good perspective of what Trikru has and needs.  Most resemble this one.”

Raven still looking confused, and now a little embarrassed, slows and stops the car.  “Right here?  In the middle of the road is your village.”  Glancing at the two guards to see if their actions were telling, Raven hesitantly responded, “Okay, I’ll follow you.” 

It was like she could hear Olaf saying, “[S]he’s CRAZZZYYY.  RUN, Run.  Because I love you, I insist you RUN.”  She wondered if Lexa brought her out there to kill her.  Perhaps the whole 13th clan was a scam.  Her mind trailed uncontrollably as she finally exited the rover.

“Raven.”  Lexa smiling in amusement.  “If I wanted to kill you, I wouldn’t have to go through the trouble of bringing you here.  You’re fine.” 

The guards chuckled under their breath as they walked seemingly into a tree.  A large hollow bore out was covered in loose moss that acted as a door.  Passing through the tree, and then another and then another, led to an almost pathway entrance. 

The village, surrounded by natural and relocated trees and thicket was almost completely disguised from the road.  In Raven’s case, completely disguised.  Once inside, the makings of a village were apparent.  Individual huts housed residents, most of which were now on their way to catch a glimpse of the Commander.  Fires cooked food and cleansed water.  Smoke stacks rose as meats were prepared and smoked for long term storage.  A common area hosted several tables where individuals traded goods. 

Before Raven could take it all in, they were surrounded by Trikru members.  Some adorned masks which would rival any Halloween party.  A curious kid literally prodded Raven’s leg brace out of curiosity, causing her to jump back in fear. 

Lexa quickly noticed Raven’s response and spoke up.  One of her guards, fluent in English, acted to translate for Raven. 

“Trikru.  Ai laik kom Heda, Ai laik hou!” 

_Tree Crew.  I am your Commander, and I am home._

The crowd erupted into cheers.  “Monin hou, monin hou, Heda.”

_Welcome home, Heda_.

“Beja. Monin, Raven, kom Skaikru”

_Please, welcome, Raven_ ok Sky Crew.

“Yu hon yu in osir sisplei”

_We are here to help_.

Lexa continued her speech, but Raven was overwhelmed with everything, unable to focus too much.  She knows Lexa’s intensions are to stay for 2 days, to identify ways the village and their way of life can be improved by Skaikru technologies, and to mingle with the people.  It was clear this clan loved Lexa.  She was, after all, Trikru herself.

Raven did notice a pair of girls standing just outside the main circle, snickering. 

“Ai laik gon jok Heda.”  The blonde smirks as she reveals her desires for the Commander. 

“Nowe, Niylah.”  Her companion teases that she will never be able to get even close to her.

“Sha, ai jok Wanheda, nau ai jok Heda.”  Both girls giggle at the prospect, leaving Raven wondering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. I will still be making updates, but they will likely be every 7-10 days instead of 3-4 due to schedule changes.
> 
> Still quite a few chapters to go, some major angst, and some major resolutions! 
> 
> Of course lots of fluff and smut along the way.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!


	15. Jealousy Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke busies herself on a special project constructing the 13th clan while Lexa and Raven analyze the others. Lexa finds herself jealous of an old fling, but Raven comes to the rescue.

After about twenty minutes of greeting and overview, Lexa and Raven were free to start analyzing the environment of Trikru.  Although they were in only one village, it was a close enough match to most others that their conclusions could be extrapolated for the rest of the clan’s needs.

“So, Raven, I spent my youth in this very village.  There is not too much different now than when I walked these paths.  What can you see in the way of Skaikru improvements here?”

“This is where the glorious Commander grew up, huh?”  Raven still in awe and still floating on her cloud of purpose has a hard time focusing.

“Raven, yes I grew up here.  But what can we update?”

“Right, right.”  Raven snapping back to her duty surveys the region.  “Well, for starters, we need to get you guys some proper housing.  I mean, your huts are doing the trick, but our construction is, let’s just say more ‘solid’.  We can show you how to build a pod that won’t let any rain or bugs in.  It will also be more insulated during the winters.”

“Yes, comfort has never really been much of a Trikru necessity.”  Lexa smiles, likely recalling moments of her past.

“I’m not saying the Hamptons, but we can definitely see to an upgrade.  And, if we can get a group to train your own people, you can run the construction and then maintenance for yourselves.”

“Maintenance?”  Lexa inquires.

“Ya, like taking care of your shit.  Oh, sorry, is it okay if I use that language around you?”

Lexa just chuckles at Raven, waiting for her to continue.

“Right, so you can put more effort and supplies into your housing because you are going to monitor it.  You can fix things as they break and make sure they are functional for a long time.  Maintenance.  In space, it’s not like we could just go get another Ark.  We had to learn how to fix everything.  We got pretty good at it.”

Raven was clearly enjoying her position of purpose and eager to continue.  Lexa agreed with their initial plan for improved housing and asked what else they could focus on.

“There is a definite need for you guys to incorporate a clean and safe septic system.  I mean, yikes, it reeks around here.  Do you guys just seriously do your business where ever you want to?  Gross!” 

Lexa, somewhat defensive of her old village chimes in.  “Well, actually most people do refrain.  We, I mean, they use designated areas, or use pots in their huts and dump it far away from…”

Lexa was cut off when the pair turned a corner.  Their view was of a Trikru member’s ‘member’ hanging in full exposure.  He didn’t shy away or hesitate when he saw them appear.  Instead he finished peeing and shook his remnants right onto the path of which they were walking.

Raven stopped in her tracks and turned to look at Lexa.  “Um, case and point.”

Lexa quickly conceded the point.  “Right, so proper facilities is a must.  I can agree.  What else can you see for Trikru?”

“Well, we should be able to get you set up with electricity, but I have to take a closer look tomorrow in the daylight for the best source.  So, what are you guys like good at?”

“Good at?”  Lexa again somewhat defensive is quick to respond.  “Hum, I can only pick one thing?”

“Wow, I didn’t realize Clarke was into the conceded ones.” 

Lexa stopping in her tracks, looks at Raven trying to seem confused. 

“Whoa, Commander, just jokes.  Just jokes.”  Raven then answering her own question adds, “I mean it seems like you guys have a lot of hunters here.  There is a ton of furs and meat cooking everywhere in camp.  You could totally use that to your advantage.  With some electricity and some proper knowledge of preservation of food, you could totally be a main supplier of meats for all clans.”

Raven continuing, “And you are Trikru after all.  You must have some mad tree climbing skills.  That will be very helpful for a logging industry.”

“A logging industry?”  Lexa again looked for confirmation.

“Yeah, like your people cut down trees, clearing out space for the “upgraded villages”.  We can then help you make some equipment that will cut the wood into more functional pieces.  This wood will be our primary resource in making our structures.  We will need a lot of this stuff, and I’m assuming it won’t just be your clan that needs it.  You could totally use that industry and your meat to fund any trade you need in return.”

“That sounds great Raven, but even Trikru isn’t capable of carrying trees for miles on end.”  Lexa is somewhat unsure of how they could trade large quantities of cut wood efficiently.

“Agreed, but that again is where we come in.  After we see the layout of the neighboring clans, we can construct a rail system to transport the wood.  It can double as a public transportation system too.”

“You are very ambitious, Raven.” Lexa means it as a compliment, but can’t help but feel a little unsure of the ability of all these ideas becoming a reality.

“That’s why you brought me along, Commander.  Dream big or go home, right?”  She reaches her hand to high five Lexa, who just stares at her in return. 

“Okay, we will have to work on that one tomorrow.”  Raven pulls her hand back, somewhat rejected and embarrassed.  She quickly changes the subject.  “So, Commander, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, Raven.”

“Why didn’t you say good bye to Clarke?  I mean, she is totally missing you right now I’m sure, and totally…”

Lexa cuts her off, “I did say good-bye to Clarke.”

“Yea, I know.  I know.  But, why were you so like, all business about it.  I mean, I’m asking because she’s my girl and I’m sure she was disappointed, is all.”

Stopping their walk again, Lexa turns to Raven to respond.  “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Raven.”  Lexa tries to portray herself as if she has no other connection with Clarke other than being her Commander, and her being the ambassador of the 13th clan.

“Okay, look Commander.  I can see that you like to keep your private life private and all, but Momma knows.”

“I don’t know what you think you know Raven.”  Lexa now very defensive and a little angry continues her threat.  “I’d appreciate you not running around spreading rumors.  Did Clarke start some type of lie about me?  About…”

“Hold it right there.  I didn’t mean to upset you, Commander.  And no, Clarke didn’t tell me anything.”  Lexa physically relaxed hearing Raven’s words, until she continued.

“I mean, she didn’t have to tell me anything.  I could see her heart eyes and your girl boner as soon as I got to Polis.”  Lexa now fully defensive hesitates before she can find the words to say anything.

“Raven, I..”

“Commander, you don’t have to say anything.  Just know that I am here.  I won’t say anything.  I’m just here to talk if you need to.  I’m sure you’ll be missing Griffin as much as she is missing you.  So, if you ever need a shoulder or an ear while we are on this trip, I’m here.  Okay?  And please, murdering me for my silence is not necessary.  I will only talk to you or Clarke about it.”

Huffing, as she rolled her eyes at Raven, “No, Raven.  I won’t murder you.”  She added sarcastically, “At least not until you’re done with the total analysis of all clans, anyway.”

Raven had a moment of sincere fear.  Did she just totally mess with the wrong chic?  Her heart relaxed when she glanced over and saw a small smirk on Lexa’s face.

“Oh, Okay.  It’s gonna play that way huh?”  Raven returned with the playful smile of her own.

Piping up to say one more thing, Raven adds, “It’s just you know how much Clarke cares about you, right?  I mean, from what I can see I think she is totally in …” 

Raven can’t finish her statement because the pair is intercepted by another pair of girls, a blonde and a brunette.  Raven recognizes them from the initial greeting.  They were the two slightly offset snickering in Trigedasleng.  Before Raven can address them, they make the first move.

“Commander, Raven, we are so excited to have you in our village.”  The Blonde girl, making overt eye contact greets the pair.  “I know it is our custom to house our guests, and I would be honored to house you both for your stay here.  I have a trading post with comfortable facilities just a short walk from here.  Perhaps it would be a great opportunity to show the 13th clan the behind the scenes look at how our clans trade.  Do you have a place to stay yet?”

Lexa answers, “Hello, and no we do not yet have a place.  Your invitation sounds great.  I would have to extend it to my two guards though.  Would that still work?” 

The brunette elbows the blonde in her ribs just enough for only her to notice.  Then the blonde responds with a toothy grin, “Absolutely.  I will walk ahead to prepare a meal and your quarters.  Just find Simi here when you are ready.”  She points to the brunette who offers her own smile.

“Well, thank you Simi.”  Lexa smiles back at the brunette.  The Blonde had already turned to walk away, a haste and spring to her step. 

“Hey, wait.”  Raven shouts from a short distance back.  “We didn’t catch your name.”

The blonde stops in her tracks, turning around to once again face the pair.

“Oh, I’m so sorry.  I got so caught up in wanting to make things perfect for you.”  Waving from some distance back and offering another smile, “I’m Nylah.” 

The blonde turned back and headed out quickly.  Her brunette friend, Simi was left with the pair.  “I will just wait around the fire in the center of the village.  You can come find me when you’re ready to leave.  I will escort you to Nylah’s trading post.”

Simultaneously, Lexa and Raven both responded, “Thanks.”

The brunette was gone as quickly as she came. 

Raven furrowed her eye brows, “Can I just say, you guys are a little weird.”

“Weird, they are just being nice, Raven.  Get used to it.  It will happen everywhere we go.” 

Smirking a little, “Now I’m starting to see what Clarke likes in you.” 

Jokingly, Lexa pushes Raven’s shoulder.  Her force is much stronger than she intended and Raven gets knocked to the ground. 

“Holy hell, man.”  Raven picking herself up, brushes off the dirt from her pants.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to..”  Lexa sincerely didn’t mean to knock her over.  She realized her shove was too much for Raven, especially since she was wearing a brace and clearly tired from the day’s travels. 

“Right, defensive about Clarke.  Check.”  Raven holds her hands up, surrendering her comments about Clarke.  Well, at least for then. 

The two continued their walk around the village, pointing out opportunities for improvements and strengths to take advantage of.

***

Clarke did not end up sleeping that first night away from Lexa.  Instead, she found herself sitting around a fire talking to Jasper.  He was sharing with her his plans for the entertainment building.  Clarke took such a liking to his ideas that she decided to join him in making it her focus project, outside of overseeing everything else of course. 

“So, what kind of stuff are you going to have in the entertainment building, Jasper?”  Clarke started the conversation with the standoffish Jasper.

“Alcohol.”  He doesn’t make eye contact with Clarke.  He still hadn’t recovered from losing Maya, nor has he gotten over Clarke’s roll in the disaster.

“Yes, alcohol.  I can see that as a must, but I can see it as something I am going to have to convince the council of too.”  Clarke comments sincerely.  She completely believes that providing resources, time and man power into creating a distillery will require some debate.  She also knows, it just might be enough medicine for what most people are seeking these days.

“Whatever.”  Jasper still avoiding eye contact adds, “I’m getting Monty to brew up some great shit and if your council wants to stop me, or lash me, or melt me for that matter, whatever.” 

Clarke can easily see his pain and feel it too.  “Jasper, I think it is a good idea.  I know Monty will be willing and I will make sure nothing gets in the way of it.”

At that Jasper makes timid eye contact only briefly.  He does not say thank you, but his willingness to at least look at Clarke speaks it for him.

They sit quietly for a few more minutes before Clarke inquires more details about the entertainment building.  “So, alcohol, a must, yes.  But, what else were you thinking to include?”

Jasper, pausing for another long delay ponders whether he wishes to continue talking with Clarke at all before he answers, “Music.  I think there needs to be some music.”  He looks down at the antiquated ipod of Maya’s in his hands.  “Yes, definitely music.”

Clarke recognizes the device in his hands and realizes how sentimental the comment is for Jasper.  “Maya’s Music.”

Jasper, immediately defensive, turns and says, “Hell yes.  Do you have a problem with that…”

He is interrupted by Clarke, “No, Jasper.  Maya’s Music and Spirit.  That is what you should name it, your entertainment building.  Maya’s Music and Spirit.” 

Tears forming in his eyes, Jasper doesn’t quite know how to respond.  “Why the fuck do you care Clarke?  Are you just trying to humor me?  It’s not going to work!”

“Jasper, I never had an opportunity to really talk with you since.  Well, since the travesty at Mount Weather.”

“The travesty that you caused.  No you’ve been too busy humping the enemy for that.”

Clarke completely let the insult pass.  She knows Jasper is speaking from a painful place.  “Jasper, I know there is nothing I can say that can undo what has been done.  I can’t change what needed to happen,  what we all regret on many levels every day.”

“Right, there isn’t.  So why bother trying.  You’re wasting your breath Clarke.”

“I never intended for innocent people to get hurt.  In fact, it was me who pushed for us to avoid that from the beginning.  Whether you believe that or not, it is the truth.  But, then it happened, and now we have to live with it.  I have to live with it.  And, I have to live knowing my actions broke you into so many pieces.”

Jasper just looks at Clarke, eyes welling and teeth locked.  Although he baulks at her statements, deep down he truly does need to hear what she is saying.

“I heard something once that has resonated with me, especially about Mount Weather.  Especially about Maya.”

At the mention of her name, Jasper looks to the ground as he can no longer contain his tears.

“Some people believe that you actually die three times.  Once, when you physically die.  A second, when your body is put to rest, buried or cremated.  And a final death when you are forgotten.”

Jasper, not sure where Clarke was going with her statement reconnected eye contact.

“I cannot change the role that I had with Maya’s first or second level of death.  But, Jasper, I would give anything, I will do anything, I want to see to it that Maya never has to experience that third death.  Let me help you make the entertainment building, Maya’s Music and Spirit.  Let me help you make her memory fixed in wood and stone.  Let me show you that I do care, Jasper.  Let me show you how sorry I am and how much I still care for you, and all of our people, by honoring her and by respecting you.”

Jasper, tears full throttle, can’t help but choke and hiccup his grief.  Clarke finally feels it appropriate to attempt to embrace him.  Fully expecting that he push her away, she was surprised and relieved when he didn’t.  He let her hold him there for several minutes while he cried into her shoulder.  She did not rush him or interrupt him in his grief.  She simply waited for him to respond, relieved that she had a place in his healing.

Pulling away from Clarke, Jasper looks back at her.  “Maya’s Music and Spirit.  I like it.”

Still rubbing his back, Clarke responds, “I like it too Jasper.  I like it too.” 

After a few more silent minutes, Jasper seemed to flip a switch.  He suddenly had purpose and motivation both of which were all about honoring Maya in the new entertainment building.  He opened up to Clarke as they shared ideas about how to make it a perfect haven for the living and the spirits of the lost.

“So, we have to make sure we play Maya’s playlist every night, for a designated hour or two.”

“We can get Raven to hardwire some amplifiers and to back up the songs from Maya’s ipod.  That way they can be available and we don’t have to worry about losing or breaking the ipod…that is for you to keep Jasper.”

Jasper actually smiles as their conversation continued.  “So, Clarke, you think you could paint a mural of Maya on the memory wall?  We can add images of future lost and cheers to their spirits regularly.”

“Jasper, I will paint the best portrait of Maya.  She was beautiful, I will do my best to illustrate her beauty.  And, you will be okay with having musicians play her piano?  The one from Mount Weather?  They would have to audition or at least prove they are capable of course?”

Jasper hesitates at the notion, but in the spirit of honoring Maya, he agrees that allowing her piano to ‘sing’ was better than allowing dust to collect on it.”

“Great, so we can have a live music night where people can play piano.  I’m sure we can get some guitars and maybe even some drums too.”

“Drums, ya I’d like to learn how to play the drums.”  Jasper smiles looking off into the distance.  Clarke’s heart swells at the notion that Jasper has a purpose and a path.  She is relieved that maybe this will be a turn in the direction of his grieving.  She knows it is not over, but perhaps it has turned a corner.  She feels relieved that her idea may have something to do with it.

“So, I will bring the plans to our next meeting, but as far as I’m concerned this is totally a go.  In fact, I am going to start on Maya’s portrait tomorrow!”  Clarke stands up, ready to find herself an open tent and hopefully some needed sleep.  Before she could walk away Jasper stops her.

“Clarke, wait.”  Clarke stops and looks at Jasper, whose voice seemed urgent, different from the excited voice she had been hearing prior. 

“Jasper, what is it?”  Clarke looked at him with sincere eyes. 

He handed Clarke a small photo.  Before she could pull it up close enough to see, he squeezed her wrist.  “Do not lose this Clarke.  It is one of only a couple I have.” 

Looking at the photo, Clarke can see Maya’s face smiling back at her.  She realized how much trust it took for Jasper to give it to her and she is honored to have it. 

“I will keep it safe, Jasper.  And I will make her portrait amazing!”

He smiles at the notion, and turns walking away for the night.  The night was really already gone.  Clarke, sat back down, giving herself time to take in the events she just shared with Jasper.  Looking into the distance she saw the beginning of the sunrise.  She couldn’t help but remember Lexa’s words, and smiled knowing Lexa, where ever she was, was up and looking at the same thing. 

“I miss you.”  She whispered into the air.  “I hope you’re okay.”  She felt a little shy talking to herself, but then she rationalized that she was really talking to a distant Lexa.  “I think I have a project that you will like.  I’m glad I’m here to make it a realization.”  Looking down at Maya’s picture and reinvigorating herself with energy she whispered one last thing, “I love you, Lexa.” 

***

“Simi?”  Raven reached out to tap the brunette on the shoulder.  She was standing, facing the fire so her image was hard to make out.

Turning around, Simi responds with a big smile.  “Hi, ladies.  Have you finished your work here?  I can show you the way now if you are ready.”

“Yes, that would be great Simi.  Thank you.”  Lexa, always formal and polite responds for the pair.

“Excellent, right this way.”  Simi led them down a well walked path, out of the village and toward Nylah’s trading post.  She remained basically silent for the duration of the walk, unless Lexa or Raven asked her a direct question.  Perhaps she was intimidated by the armed guards that walked alongside them.    

It didn’t take Raven long to start shooting questions.  “So, Simi, what’s for dinner?  I’m starving!”

“I’m not sure, actually.  I know Nylah is a great host.  I’m sure there will be some fresh meat.  She always has plenty on hand from trades.  Probably some nice wine too.”  Simi responds keeping her eyes geared on the path. 

“And what about desert?  Apple pie?  Um, what Momma wouldn’t give for some warm apple pie.”  Raven, mostly talking to herself didn’t expect the response that soon followed.

“Desert, yes.  I think I understand.”  Simi blushed looking to Raven.  “Nylah has arranged for several maids to be available.  I’m sure she could easily find some willing warriors too, if that is more your style.    I think she just assumed everyone here would prefer females.”

Raven turning to Lexa to gauge her reaction can’t help but comment.  “What the fuck?  Are you serious?  Lexa?”

Lexa didn’t waste any time to make her intensions known.  “That is sweet, Simi, but that won’t be necessary.”  Looking at her guards, clearly disappointed she added, “Well at least for me.  I can’t speak for my guards or for Raven here.” 

Simi jumped back in, “Well, we will see.  Perhaps there will be something you just can’t refuse.  Either way, you are welcome to it.”

Raven, mouth hanging open in shock doesn’t have time to respond before Simi adds, “Oh, here we are.  Let me run ahead and let Nylah know we have arrived.”  Before anyone could comment Simi sprinted ahead to the wood building trading post. 

Raven immediately turns to Lexa.  “Lexa, are these people really offering us prostitutes?  And, I guess more importantly, is that a normal practice?  And even more importantly, is that something you are in to?  And don’t even tell me, you are considering it with Clarke back home and…”

“Raven.  Relax.  Yes it is a custom.  Hosts offer all elements of comfort to Hedas and their traveling parties.  But don’t worry.  I never accept.  Besides, I am certain the one thing I would accept right now will not be waiting there inside of Nylah’s trading post.”

Raven, somewhat relaxed at Lexa’s response.  “Well good.  Because I’m not really a ‘whatever happens on road trips stays on road trips’ type.”

Lexa looking confused, decided to just ignore her comment.  “Come, please be polite.  These people are providing us their best and we should appreciate it.  Well, at least the aspects we feel comfortable with.” 

“Wow, this is going to be interesting.”  Raven chuckles to herself as she followed Lexa to the door.

Before they could reach the door, it swung in their direction.  Nylah greeted them immediately. 

“Heda.”  She bowed her head as she addressed Lexa.  Standing upright again she acknowledged Raven by name and the two guards with eye contact.  “I am so honored to have you as my guest.  Please, come in.  The food is warm and the wine is eager to run.”

One guard enters first, followed by Lexa and then Raven.  The second guard remained outside as a watch of the grounds.  Raven couldn’t help herself but to comment so that only Lexa could hear as they walked in. 

“I bet the wine isn’t the only thing eager here.”  Chuckling to herself, she noticed a disapproving look on Lexa’s face.  “Sorry, couldn’t help it.”

Nylah proceeded to walk them through the trading post.  It was not huge, but it was well kept.  Her pride in the shop was obvious as she boasted about renovations and business. 

After the short tour she led them to the back half of the building which doubled as her home.  “I know it is no comparison to Polis.”  Walking past Lexa, and running her hand gently down her back she added, “But I will make sure your stay is as perfect as possible.” 

Raven didn’t notice the contact, but Lexa stiffened as soon as Nylah touched her.  She did not draw attention to it as it passed as quickly as it started.

“Please, let us start with a meal.”  Nylah motioned to the table set for 6.  Candles lit the table as well as the room.  Cooked meat and fresh vegetables lay at its center.  Each place had a pre-filled wine glass as well as what looked like fresh baked bread. 

Nylah pulled out the chair for Lexa.  “Please, Heda, relax and enjoy your meal.” 

Lexa politely took the offered seat.  Nylah immediately sat directly next to her.  Simi took the seat across from Nylah.  Raven sat directly across from Lexa and next to Simi.  The remaining guard sat on the other side of Lexa.  The sixth seat remained empty, as the second guard remained outside. 

“Perhaps, we could bring a plate for the guest outside?”  Nylah asked Lexa, only after getting her attention by tapping her hand that was sitting directly next to her on the table. 

Lexa, bringing the exposed hand up to brush aside her hair, an attempt to break contact,   responded politely.  “Yes, that would be lovely, thank you.” 

“Simi, can you make a plate and run it to the guard outside please?”  Nylah instructed her like she was on the clock, perhaps she was always on the clock around Nylah.  She immediately did as Nylah asked and was gone from the table. 

Raven interjected holding her wine glass high above the table, “Should we toast before we eat?” 

Lexa responded, “Yes.  Of course.  We can wait for Simi to return.” 

Nylah objected.  “Nonsense.  We can start the drinking now.  Our beautiful guests should wait nor want for nothing!”  She raises her glass as she winks at Lexa. 

Again, avoiding being rude, Lexa follows suit.  “To the alliance of the 13 clans.  And to the betterment of Trikru!”  She offers the obvious sentiment as a toast.  Immediately she offers the wine to her guard to sip before she takes her own sip.  “I hope you aren’t offended.”  She adds to Nylah. 

“Of course not Heda.  Your protection is above all.”  Nylah responds honestly.

Satisfied with the guard’s response, Lexa drank her wine along with the group.  It was quite good.  She realized that Nylah must have traded something of great value to get it.  The meal was equally good and prepared to perfection.  She truly thought the experience was all she could expect and hope for, perhaps better than she would expect or hope for.  That is, all except for the constant lines of flattery that Nylah kept making about Lexa.  Given she was in complete control, she found them harmless.  She appreciated the hospitality and was willing to put up with the obvious infatuation in return.

The meal ran long as the group opened at least four bottles of wine.  Late into the last bottle Nylah inquired about their desert. 

“So, Heda, Raven, can we make your stay this evening more relaxing for you?”

“You have done quite alright thus far, Nylah.  Thank you.”  Ever the polite Lexa.

“Actually,” Raven interrupted, “I could use your facilities.  I’m not sure how you guys do it here, but I’m not about to go piss in the middle of the path like we saw that grounder do earlier today.”

There was hesitation before an answer.  Raven realized it was likely because they found the term ‘grounder’ insulting. 

“Yes, of course Raven.”  Nylah responded.  She would have been more annoyed with Raven’s lack of respect, but her question allowed an opportunity to get closer to Lexa.  So, she gladly offered up Simi to show her the appropriate place to go.

“Simi, would you mind showing Raven a safe and clean place where she can take care of herself.”

“I’d be happy to.  Raven, follow me.”  Simi left the room and then the building, not before sharing a devilish grin with Nylah.  The ‘facilities’ were outside just on the other side of the building.  On their walk, Raven allowed the wine to push her curiosities.

“So, Simi, what’s the deal with you guys offering up yourselves to sleep with Heda?  I mean I know she’s a babe, but is that what you guys do for everyone around here?”

Laughing, Simi responds, “No.  Not everyone.  In fact, Nylah has, let’s just say really high standards.”

“Oh, okay.  So she is like better than everyone?”  Raven getting a little snarky responds.

“No, not that.  She really was a loner.  But she makes exceptions for really special people.”

“Oh, I get it.  So like Hedas only club.  That really limits her action doesn’t it?”

“Ha, you could say.  But not just Hedas.  Wanhedas too.”

“What!?! Shut the fuck up.  Nylah said she slept with Wanheda.”  Raven literally shouting because of her surprise.  She knew Clarke was out in the wilderness for a few months, but she never thought she would sleep around with grounders.

“Really, it’s true.  I didn’t believe her when she said Wanheda would come into the trading post, until one day I was there and saw her.  It wasn’t long after that Nylah said she convinced her to stay for a drink and then, well over night.”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.  Lexa is gonna flip.”

“Lexa, you mean Heda?” Simi looked utterly confused.  “Why would she care?  Nylah though it would help her chances.  She thought Heda would be more interested in her if she knew that she had been with Wanheda.  You know if you kill someone you take their power.  If you fuck them, you don’t get their power, but you get a piece of their spirit that brings you confidence and good luck.  Nylah thinks Heda would want that piece of Wanheda and she’s hoping she’ll use her as the avenue.”

“You guys have some really warped ideas.  Wow.”  Raven pushed for more details.  “So, how long did they see each other?”

“See each other?”  Simi was once again confused.  “I guess she had been using the trading post for a couple months.”

“No, not just that.  How long were they, you know, getting dirty?”  Raven clarified.

“Oh.” Simi laughed.  “Just one time.  Nylah said she woke in the morning and Wanheda had left.”

“Well, that surely does sound more like Clarke.”

“Clarke?”  The confusion was starting to annoy Simi.

“Nevermind.”  Raven smirked to herself.  She figured she better hurry back to Lexa knowing Nylah’s true intensions.  “So where is the pisser?”

Nylah took advantage of her nearly alone time with Lexa.  She stood and walked behind Lexa.  “You know, Heda, you seem a bit tense despite my attempts to put your mind at ease.”  Stopping behind her chair, Nylah lay both of her hands on Lexa’s shoulders, rubbing at the stress.  “Why don’t you invite your guard to finish his shift outside?” 

Lexa, stiffening at the touch, once again chose to be polite.  “Thank you Nylah, but I think I am ready for bed.”

Being very forward Nylah pressed Lexa.  “The most comfortable bed here is my own.  You are of course welcome to it.” 

Blushing a little, mainly at Nylah’s inability to cease, Lexa responded.  “I’m sure a spare would do the trick.”

“Oh, but are you sure?”  Nylah leans into Lexa’s shoulder as she squeezes a bit harder.  “I have so much more to offer you, Heda.  I’m sure you don’t want to turn down that opportunity.”

“Thanks again, Nylah, but I am sure opportunity awaits me in every village I travel to.  I am looking forward to sleep at this time though.” 

Lexa is honest in her analysis.  Most villages will offer her such amenities, but her line about sleep is of course more a lie than not.

“Oh, Heda.  I’m not so sure they will have quite the same offer as I do.”

Laughing a bit at the ridiculous statement and amused at Nylah’s confidence, Lexa asked, “And why exactly is this offer much different from the beautiful women that await me in other villages?”

Nylah smiled at the recognition of her own beauty and proceeded with pride.  “Well, Heda.  I’m pretty sure none of those women can offer you the past experience of the unattainable Wanheda.”

Lexa couldn’t believe her ears.  She immediately turned in her seat taking Nylah’s hand in her own.  Nylah mistaking the contact smiled and motioned to sit on Lexa’s lap. 

“Sit in your own chair, Nylah.  Tell me of this Wanheda.  I do not believe what you say.”

Nylah, thinking her strategy was beginning to be successful willingly divulged any detail Lexa asked for, and then some.

At first, Lexa did not believe Nylah. She figured it was a ruse to trick her into bed.  But after hearing certain details, like her description of Clarke’s chest, her description of Clarke’s inner thighs and the birth mark that adorned her right butt cheek, she realized it must be true. 

She felt a mix of jealousy and guilt.  This was obviously during the period right after Mount Weather and before Lexa sent for her.  She knew Clarke was in a dark place, but what Nylah was describing seemed like a different version of Clarke all together.  It wasn’t until her comments became judgmental that the feeling of anger also kicked in. 

Lexa allowed Nylah to continue her triumphant rant about Wanheda.  “I mean, of course I was excited to be with the great Wanheda.  But, when it came down to it, it was a lot more primal than I expected.”

Primal.  Lexa was confused.  The Clarke she knew seemed so emotionally charged, so focused on heart and feeling.  So concerned about the future and not just a heat of the moment type of thing.  She felt like there was a part of Clarke she didn’t know.  For good or for bad, she didn’t know her.  But Nylah did.  This made Lexa jealous and angry. 

“Yeah, I mean I realize she was living out there on her own for a few months without much.  I tried to give her a bath first because, well you know, girl was pretty ripe.  But she was needy.  I didn’t even get a chance to clean her dirty snatch before she was jumping me.  Well, you know, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity, no matter how rank she was at the time.”  Nylah chuckles misunderstanding Lexa’s attention for admiration instead of the anger and jealousy hiding within.

Lexa realized that Nylah didn’t care at all about Clarke.  Her attention and her physical connection with her were purely selfish with hidden motive.  The idea of her taking advantage of Clarke in this way infuriated her.  She reached for her knife at her side.  Just as she motioned to pull it out, Raven and Simi walked back into the room. 

Raven immediately knew something had happened.  The fury and jealousy in Lexa’s eyes was unmistakable.  Noticing Lexa reach for her blade Raven acted first and thought later.  She quickly threw her good leg over Lexa’s lap, in effect stopping Lexa from pulling the blade. 

“Hey, babe, I’m tired are you ready for bed?  I want to take advantage before you pass out.”  Raven pressed a quick kiss Lexa’s cheek.  Before she pulled away she whispered into Lexa’s ear.  “Play along.  Trust me Clarke will not approve of this.”

As much as Lexa did not want anyone to think she was sleeping with Raven, she realized Raven’s actions saved her from perhaps a big mistake.  Murdering an unarmed hostess in her own original tribe would not be a good show of peace.  She agreed to play along and effectively sneak her way out of an emotional reaction against Nylah.

Nylah, shocked at the discovery gasped.  “Oh, I’m so sorry Heda.  I did not realize that you already had all the comforts you need.” 

“Well, yes, Nylah.  I am without need.”

“That’s right babe.  I can satisfy your every need, huh?”  Raven played it a little harder than Lexa appreciated. 

Standing up and almost knocking Raven from her lap, Lexa adds, “I am ready for bed.  Can you please show us to our bed?”

Nylah, clearly disappointed and jealous herself responded somewhat solemnly.  “Of course, Heda.  Right this way.” 

Nylah led them to a makeshift bed in the back corner of her facility.  “I’m sorry, it is not as nice as my own room.  I can offer you both my bed to sleep in if you prefer.”

“This is perfect.  Thank you.”  Raven answered for them. 

Nylah proceeded to walk away in defeat.

“Wow, she has no idea how much worse that could have gone for her.”  Raven joked to Lexa.

Lexa was in no mood to respond.  She sat silently for a few minutes.

“Raven, I would appreciate it if…”

Raven cut her off.  “I won’t say anything to anyone.  I only did that to stop a murder.  And, to stop Clarke from being royally pissed off at you.”

Lexa inhaled deeply and exhaled, “Thank you, Raven.”

“So, I’ll just sleep on the floor, but can I have a pillow please?”  Raven offered to give Lexa the space she needed. 

Lexa handed her a pillow and noticed the sun beginning to rise in the background.  She sat back down on the bed and starred at the window.  She couldn’t help but think of Clarke, but her thoughts of Clarke were scattered.  Raven noticed her intensity and questioned. 

“Hey, Lexa.  Do you want to talk about it?” 

Normally Lexa would have just brushed Raven off.  She was always in control of her emotions.  She never needed help to sort them out or to make decisions.  But this time, perhaps some insight into the Clarke she didn’t know as well as she thought she had would be helpful.

“Actually, Raven.  Maybe I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took so long. There is a part II coming! I put myself on a strict study plan for an upcoming certification exam. I only have a few more weeks to prepare so....once that's over I should be able to update more regularly. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy.


	16. A New Perspective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa confides in Raven and gains a new perspective on her relationship with Clarke.

Raven waited for what seemed to be hours when in reality it was just a little over 15 minutes while Lexa sat silently on the bed, starring out the window at the sunrise.  Impatient as ever and struggling to remain quiet, Raven finally broke the silence.

“Lexa, I’m not trying to rush you, but I thought you wanted to talk.” 

After a big sigh, Lexa broke her stare with the sunrise and looked toward Raven.  “I know, Raven, and I do want to talk, it’s just.” 

“Look,” Raven took the lead in the conversation to help Lexa along, “I know you weren’t expecting to hear the news about Clarke and Nylah.  I was surprised myself when Simi told me.  But, you can’t be mad at her for that.”

“It’s not so much that I’m mad about it, it’s more that I had no idea.  And, the way Nylah was describing her and…”

“Fuck bitch Nylah.”  Raven interrupted Lexa before she could wallow any deeper.  “Listen, Clarke was a different person than the one you know because Clarke was in a very dark place at that time.  You don’t see that version of her because she has changed.  And most importantly, Lexa, you are probably the main thing that changed her.  You brought her back from the dark depths.  She isn’t the person Nylah described anymore.”

Lexa absorbed what Raven was telling her and believed the message, but a new pain grew in her chest. 

“She may not be that person anymore, but she was that person.  And what I’m struggling with the most is that I made her into that person.  I focused on my people, my position, and my job when I made the deal at Mount Weather.  I totally let Clarke down.  I basically threw her into the darkness she faced.”

Raven paused before responding, trying not to phrase her words too harshly.  “I can’t really argue with you about that Lexa.  In fact, so many of Skaikru couldn’t understand why Clarke could even give you a second chance.”  Raven stopped talking when she looked over and saw Lexa silently crying.  She moved to sit next to her on the bed and placed her hand upon Lexa’s shoulder.

“But Lexa, the most amazing, crazy but amazing thing, is that she did give you another chance.  And, whether you guys voice it or not, I know she is totally in love with you.  You may have pushed her into the darkness, but you came back and pulled her out.  I haven’t seen her this much in love, well, ever.”

“I just hope that I’m enough for her.  I don’t want to somehow let her down again, to lose her to the darkness again.  She deserves better.  She deserves to be happy and to be safe and to be free.”

“So fucking give it to her Lexa.  I can tell you care for her too, why does that have to be complicated?”

“I do.  I care for her a great deal.  I am, I mean I am totally, I …”

“Jesus, just say it, Lexa.  You’re in love with Clarke as much as she is in love with you.”  Raven interrupts impatiently while Lexa struggled.

“But, I am Heda.  I have a responsibility to my people and to my position.  I am not sure Clarke understands that.”

“Clarke is your people.  And, Clarke, more than anyone, knows what it feels like to sacrifice for her people.  That darkness you are worried about, that came from Clarke sacrificing for her people.”

“I know she is a great leader.  This is a main reason I first saw how special she was, how special she is.  But will that be enough for her?  I get the feeling she wants more than that.  More than I can give.  More than Heda has to offer.”

Raven absorbed what Lexa was saying and chose to press her.

“Lexa, with all due respect, that is the biggest bullshit I have ever heard.  You are Heda.  You make the rules.  If you love Clarke, then fuck it, love Clarke for all to see.  You can do your job as Heda and love your girl at the same time.  She can love you and do her job at the same time too.  And, check this, you may even make each other better at your jobs because of it.”

“You don’t understand, Raven.  It is expected that Heda be alone.  Certainly, we are allowed to satisfy certain needs, but we are expected to give all of our heart and energy back to our people.  There is no room for another.”

“Again, bull shit.”

Lexa now obviously frustrated throws her hands to her head as she sighs.  “You just don’t understand Raven.  That’s okay that you don’t.  It is not your custom.  Just as it is not Clarke’s.”

“Lexa, cut the shit.  I know you had a girl before Clarke.  What was her name?  Oh yeah, Coco.  No, Cornica, no wait, it was…”

“Costia.”  Lexa whispered her name.  “Her name was Costia.”

“Right, Costia.  Clarke told me about her, about you and her, about what happened to her.  I can understand why you would be hesitant.  But trust me, you can’t let yourself die with her.  Especially not when someone like Clarke is waiting.”

Lexa did not respond.  She took some time to think to herself.  Was this really why she was so hesitant to be open with Clarke?  Was it about losing Costia, or was it about protecting her role as Heda?  She had told herself over and over it was about her position, but she was beginning to realize it was more about protecting herself from another loss too great to handle more than it was about her title as Heda. 

“Lexa, look I get it.  It’s scary to love again after such a loss.  I mean I’m not there yet.  I’m not sure if I will ever be.  But, you have something rare.  You and Clarke stepped over so many barriers already.  I mean, unless I’m wrong.  Maybe she is just a piece of ass to you.  Maybe you are more power hungry than love hungry.”

Lexa immediately contradicted Raven’s suggestion.  “No.  Clarke is special.  What we found, what we share, it is real.”  Lexa told Raven her thoughts as much as she told herself.

“Then fucking man up, Lexa.  I mean don’t let Clarke slip between your fingers.  Because if you keep acting like a dipshit not even telling her good bye in public, you will lose her.  She may not leave you, but you will lose her heart acting like that.  Oh, and don’t even think about making her feel bad or guilty for messing around with dirty snatch bitch Nylah.  You know she didn’t mean anything to her.  She left the next morning.”

Lexa again sighed as she continued to take in more than she had expected.  The confusion and decisions she wasn’t even aware she needed to make sat front and center of her mind.  She realized much of what Raven had said was likely true, and agonized over her dilemma.  She could agree, that Nylah was no longer her concern, nor a threat, but joked with Raven about it anyway to lighten the mood.

“Well, I did have her kidnapped that day, so perhaps she would have returned to Nylah if I hadn’t had intervened.”

Raven, almost speechless, tripped over her words.  “You had her kidnapped, what, I mean how did she ever, and you really think she would go back to that bitch Nylah anyway.  Wait, you had her…”

“Raven, I’m kidding.  Well, I did have her kidnapped, but it was for her protection.  The Ice Queen was looking for her to kill her.  I couldn’t let that happen.  But, I’m kidding about Nylah.  I’m sure once was enough for Clarke.  God I hope so.”  Lexa explained with a brief smirk.

Raven waited a few minutes before speaking again.  “So.  What are you going to do, Lexa?”

“Well, I’m not entirely sure.  But, after tomorrow’s analysis, we are taking a detour home.  I want to talk to Clarke face to face.  I want to at least start this conversation with her before it gets any further out of hand.  I guess we will see what she says.”

“I can do a detour home.”  Raven smiled at Lexa realizing just thinking about talking about it made her uneasy.  “You guys will work it out.  And if not, I’ll come kick both your asses.”

Both chuckled as they fell asleep, exhausted from the day, the travel, and the emotions.      

***

Clarke slept only a few hours after finding an open tent near the outskirts of the camp.  As soon as she woke, she jumped out of bed and headed immediately to Polis to retrieve the art supplies that Lexa had furnished.  Within less than an hour she had taken residence in her new tent and was deep into creating Maya’s portrait.  She only had a few hours before the next planning committee meeting and she wanted to bring her draft with her as motivation for the group to pass the plans on _Maya’s Music and Spirit_. 

It was a fast work, but had the potential to be one of her best.  It seemed the more she painted from her heart, the better her work turned out.  This was straight from her heart.  She finally found some relief in releasing her guilt, her regret, her hatred for herself into something positive.  She finally found a road that made her future seem to have the ability to break from her past.  To maybe, hopefully, let go of the ghosts that haunt her. 

She knew she would never forget, but for the first time in a while, she thought maybe she could focus her efforts and energy into making life better for those still here, rather than dwelling on how many lives she took too soon.

Clarke walked into the planning meeting with confidence and a new purpose.  She placed the portrait, or at least the draft of the portrait at the front of the room in preparation.  She watched people’s reactions as they entered the room.  Everything seemed to be going her way for the first time in a long time.  Once everyone had arrived, Kane was about to initiate the meeting when one more entered the room.  Clarke lost her breath when she saw a very familiar face rush in to sit directly next to her.

Expecting her absence for quite some time, everyone was shocked to see Lexa.  Kane immediately greeted her.

“Heda, welcome.  We didn’t expect you.  We thought you would be well into your tour of the clans by now.” 

Before Clarke could even get out a word, while starring at Lexa, Lexa explained.

“Yes, I did begin the tour and will return to it shortly.  There was an urgent matter to attend to here in Polis, so I figured I’d attend your meeting while I was here.”  Lexa turned directly towards Clarke and smiled a huge toothy grin as if she had a giant present wrapped and waiting for Clarke.  

Clarke, completely confused, opened her mouth but only stuttered noises and she struggled.  Lexa intervened, “Hi, Clarke.”

With this Clarke was able to squeeze out an awkward, “Hi.” Still starring at Lexa, Kane regained everyone’s attention.

“Okay, well let’s get to it.  We have identified the location for Skaikru’s camp and agreed upon a draft of which buildings will be put in place.  We just need to prioritize the construction order.  We will focus all efforts to first create the medical center, followed by the pod living facilities, then probably the dining hall…”

Clarke interrupted Kane before he could continue.  “Actually, I was thinking we need to bump the entertainment building up in the priority list.”

Rolling his eyes, Kane disagreed.  “Clarke, the entertainment building is just that, entertainment.  We really shouldn’t be putting any resources into this until everything important is already constructed.  We are fortunate if we have enough resources to make it happen at all.”

“But there is a revelation in this building.”  Clarke protested before Kane could continue on his soap box.  “I think this building will be the medicine everyone needs to heal.  I was talking to Jasper and he…”

Now Kane interrupted Clarke before she could embellish.  “Jasper, Clarke please.  He is a drunken child who can barely walk straight.  I’m sure he can only focus on creating an entertainment center because he believes he will be able to drink there.  You must see this is not a priority for Skaikru.”

Clarke, clearly deflated and angry at his response shifts dejectedly in her chair.  Before she can further respond, Kane has moved into details on building the medical center, completely ignoring her previous sentiment.

Lexa, in tune to Clarke’s letdown interjects.  “Wait, Marcus.”

“Yes, Heda?  What can I elaborate on for you?”

“Actually, I want to hear from Clarke why she thinks the entertainment building is important.  Tell us Clarke, why should this take priority over permanent housing pods for Skaikru?”

Clarke was unsure if Lexa interrupted because she is truly interested, or because she wanted to make her feel better.  But, she didn’t care.  She took the opportunity to share her sentiment about the healing power of the entertainment building.

“As I was saying, this building will be constructed in a way that will allow us to heal as a people.  So many of us have lost someone, many someones.  Some of us feel utterly responsible for these losses.  This has caused great depression, hurt, contention, sadness, you name it amongst us.  Especially amongst the original 100.”  Clarke looked around the room to see heads tilting in agreement.  Truly no one has been able to escape the horror of what life has been to just live in the past few months here on Earth.

Clarke continued her plea.  “Kane you mentioned Jasper is worthless.  But, he’s not.  He’s just broken.  His heart is broken.  I spoke with him extensively last night for the first time in weeks.  And, it occurred to me that we have to allow our people to grieve, to heal and to remember.  The entertainment building won’t just be called the entertainment building.  It will be _Maya’s Music and Spirit_.”  Clarke stands and moves to stand next to her portrait draft. 

“This was Maya.  She was an ally in Mount Weather.  She was Jasper’s girlfriend.  And, she was the reason we were able to accomplish what we were able to accomplish.”  She hesitates before looking at Lexa, then looking away.  “Even without the grounders.”

“The truth is, I killed Maya in the move to take Mount Weather.  She didn’t deserve it.  And, more than that, she deserves to be remembered.  Those that loved her deserve a place to remember her.  Thus _Maya’s Music and Spirit_.”

Kane questions Clarke again.  “Forgive me Clarke, but are you suggesting to merge a bar and a cemetery, because I’m not so sure those really go together.”

“It’s not a cemetery, it’s a place to heal, a place to remember and a place to cherish.  The 100 may have a different way of looking at this than you Kane, but it’s the right way.  When I mentioned this idea to Jasper you should have seen him.  A switch flipped in him.  He went from a drunken useless idiot, to a man with purpose.  I’ve never seen him so determined.  Just imagine the potential we could unleash for all of us.”

“Clarke,” Kane continued to disagree with her.  “I can see your point, but we are talking about medical facilities and permanent sleeping arrangements.  I think these things are way more important than…”

“Wait.”  Lexa interrupts after listening, raising her hand in the air for all to be silenced.  “Focusing on healing a broken people will be an important message to send to all clans.  We are only peaceful and functional if we are healed.  Skaikru has been living in harsher conditions than they currently are since you arrived.”  Turning to look directly at _Maya_ in the portrait, Lexa continued.

“It is important to recognize that allies do exist, even in the most unlikely places.  The Mountain Men have been bleeding us for years.  But, that is over now, and Clarke you are correct.  That would not have been possible without the aid of such allies as Maya, and without such sacrifices as what you and Skaikru have made.”

This was the first time Lexa truly acknowledged the pain and sacrifice that Clarke went through to save her people.  The decision she had to make, mainly due to Lexa’s betrayal.  It was painful to have it front and center, but refreshing that it was acknowledged. 

“It is important that we acknowledge the importance of allies and the importance of sacrifice.  For without either we would not now be the 13 clans.  For without respecting where we came from, we are not protecting from returning there, or someplace worse.”

Clarke, holding back tears as Lexa spoke, mustered up a smile as Lexa directly looked at her.  “I am glad I was able to attend today.  Kane, see to it that the entertainment building is built with the first priority.”

“Heda, the first priority.  You mean, even before the medical facility?”

Lexa just continues to look Kane in the eyes to assert her initial statement. 

“But, Heda, originally we all agreed that the medical facility should be the first priority.  What if people are injured during construction?”

“Kane, I have seen Abby work.  She will suffice until the entertainment building is completed.  And, perhaps this will just expedite the entertainment building so we can get to the medical facility even faster.”  Lexa continues, “Trikru can work through the night.  You will be moving on in no time.”

The room remained silent for what seemed to be a long time.  Clarke finally broke the silence, “Thank you, Heda.”

“No need for thanks.  This was something that should have been started a long time ago.”

Clarke didn’t know exactly what Lexa meant, but a part of her thought it was an apology.  She felt Lexa was finally acknowledging what she and the 100 had gone through because of her betrayal at Mount Weather. She thought maybe this was also a way that Lexa was opening up to her.  Clarke was cautiously optimistic.

The meeting continued without much debate.  The remaining portions of Skaikru were discussed and construction was planned out to begin immediately and projected it to be completed in an ambitious month.  It was important to the planning team to free up workers in Skaikru in order to start working at other clans.  Additional meetings were scheduled to meet weekly to discuss progress or potential problems. 

Without much hesitation, the meeting ended and the room cleared out.  Clarke lingered as she collected her portrait from the front of the room.  Lexa stood by the door acknowledging and thanking members as they left.  Before Clarke had a chance to reach the door, Lexa closed it effectively isolating them.

Clarke watched as Lexa made her way to the front of the room to stand next to Clarke.  Both girls instantly created childish grin.  They both tried to keep their cool, but were simultaneously overwhelmed with emotion.  Finally, Lexa broke the silence.

“Hey.” She said as her smirk turned into a toothy grin.

“Hey yourself.”  Clarke replied.  “So, what happened?  Why are you back so soon?  I mean I’m happy to be able to see you, but is everything okay?”

Lexa stepped closer to Clarke and brushed her hand across Clarke’s cheek.  She leaned closer, kissing Clarke softly on the lips.  Clarke deepened the kiss until she felt Lexa’s tears dripping down her own face.  Confused, she pulled away, eyebrows furrowed as she starred at Lexa.

“Lexa.  What is going on?  What happened?  Why are you crying, honey?”

Still crying Lexa smiled at Clarke.  “It’s you.  I mean it’s us.  I mean it’s me.”

Clarke even more confused and now with an anxious stomach shakes her head silently looking for more detail. 

Lexa obliges.  “Something happened to me while I was away and it really made me put some things into perspective.  It became obvious to me that we needed to talk, and I couldn’t wait an indefinite amount of time to do it.”

Clarke, now truly concerned and feeling like she was getting broken up with sat down to take in the rest of the news.  “Okay.  So what do you need to say?”  Her voice is now guarded and defensive.

Lexa sitting next to Clarke takes her hand, entwining their fingers.  “I have been feeling this weight on my shoulders ever since I was pulled from my village as a nightblood.  I have been faced with expectation and duty.  When I became Heda I wanted to be the best I could be for my people, but I made my own decisions.”

Clarke interrupted, “Lexa, you are a great Heda.  You have brought peace to a people that have only known of war.  You have such a vision.  That’s why I…”

Now it was Lexa’s turn to interrupt Clarke.  “No.  I mean I took it upon myself to make my own decisions and some of them ended horribly for me.  Even if they were okay for my people.  I allowed myself to feel for Costia and what happened to her was not fair.  It was all my fault.”

“Lexa, bad things happen in war.  You can’t blame yourself for what happened to her.”

“You don’t understand Clarke.  It is because the Ice Queen knew she meant something to me that she was their target.  What they did was horrible and it was because I was too blind to protect her.”

“Lexa, keeping her out of your life or in the dark wouldn’t be protecting her.  It would be ignoring her and dismissing her.”

Lexa starred at Clarke who looked at their entwined hands.  She wasn’t sure if Clarke was still talking about Costia or if she was really referring to herself.  Lexa squeezed Clarke’s hand tightly then eased up dragging her thumb across the length of her hand.  The change in touch made Clarke look at Lexa.  Blue eyes caught the deep green still clouded with moisture.

“Clarke, I can’t let that happen to you.”  Lexa squeezed Clarke’s hand again as her tears once again began to free fall.

Clarke interprets the comment as Lexa breaking things off with her and immediately looks away.  Defensively and aggressively she finally responds.  “So that’s it.  After everything we have been through and everything we have overcome you are just ending it because you’re afraid you might lose me?”

“No Clarke.”

Clarke interrupts her before she can elaborate.  “No, you wait.  I almost killed you myself for how much you hurt me and my people.  But I didn’t.  I let you in.  Even though you abandoned me at Mt. Weather.  I let you in even though I know you are a target for so many enemies.  I let you in knowing I could lose you at any minute.  I let you in anyway even if I was afraid of losing you.  And wouldn’t you know, it’s you causing the loss willingly.  I can’t believe you, Lexa.” 

Clarke’s frustration clouds the air causing both girls difficulty in breathing.

“No, Clarke.  I’m not ending it.  That’s just it.  I am afraid to lose you to some enemy like Costia, but I’d do anything to keep you.”

Clarke, realizing that Lexa indeed does not want to end things with her is able to regain her breathing, though still confused. 

“Lexa, I don’t understand.”

Taking a deep breath, Lexa continues.  “Clarke, it occurred to me that I was behaving in ways that were cold towards you in order to avoid attention towards us, to protect you.  But I realized that those behaviors may end up hurting you in different ways.  Clarke, I am Heda.  I must do whatever must be done to protect and advance my people.  Sometimes that means acting as Heda separate from Lexa.   I think when it comes to us, I have been pulled to act more as Heda than Lexa.”

“Lexa, I understand you have a commitment to your people.  I know you are crazy busy and you are sensitive about letting our personal relationship get out.  It’s okay.  I can live with it if it means we can be together.”

“Niron, that’s just it.  You shouldn’t have to ‘live with it’.  You deserve more, and…”  Lexa hesitates before continuing, “and I want more than anything to be the one to give you everything you desire.”

Clarke turns to face Lexa directly and runs both of her hands down the sides of Lexa’s head stopping at her cheeks.  Her eyes dart back and forth between Lexa’s. 

“Okay then.” She is still a little confused at what Lexa was ultimately trying to accomplish.  She didn’t have to say anything at all and they would still be together.  She could have broken things off, but doesn’t want to.  Clarke waits for Lexa to make her end game clear.  “We are together.  We can stay together, Lexa.”

Lexa allows herself a small smile at Clarke’s words.  “I just need you to know that I realize you deserve more than to be kept in the dark.  You deserve to be treated like a Queen.  And I need you to know that I have every intension of getting to that point.  I just have to focus on getting the 13 clans organized and running smoothly before I go public about us.  I mean, I want to show you off everywhere I go, but I want you to be well received.  I want you to be safe.  I think the best way to do that is to make the clans appreciate what we have done for them and for them to be satisfied with the alliance.”

“Lexa, I understand.  Take care of business, then we can define what we are for us and for whoever is interested.”  Clarke, although initially upset about Lexa’s distant public behavior is surprisingly understanding of Lexa’s request.  Perhaps just hearing Lexa say her intensions verbally was enough.  She could feel that Lexa was telling her the truth.

“Clarke, I don’t need time to figure out how to define us.  I know what this is.”  Lexa stands, pulling Clarke to her feet as well.  She pulls her closer and wraps her arms around Clarke’s waste, looking confidently into her eyes. 

“Okay.”  Clarke can’t help but smile directly into Lexa’s full attention.  “What is this then?”

Lexa hesitates, taking in the sight of Clarke slightly embarrassed under the attention but looking adorable in being so.  She leans in further and takes her lips in her own.  Her kiss is slow and soft, as if she was trying to memorize the feel of Clarke’s lips on her own.  It was sensual yet memorable and purposeful. 

Lexa whispers into her kiss, maintaining contact with Clarke’s lips, returning to a full kiss in between each word. 

“This…(kiss)…Clarke…(kiss)…Griffin…(kiss)…is…(kiss)…me…(kiss)…loving…(kiss)…you…(kiss).”

Clarke could easily hear Lexa, even with her words slightly muffled from their kiss, but she wanted to hear it again.  She wanted to see Lexa’s face as she said it.  Pulling away from their kiss, Clarke teases Lexa.  “I’m sorry, what was that?”  She smiles as her eyes meet Lexa’s.

Smiling back, and looking directly into Clarke’s eyes, Lexa repeats her sentiment.  “I love you, Clarke.” 

Her comment would have been enough for Clarke left at that, but she couldn’t help but continue fueled by the thought of not having another opportunity to make her feelings clear before leaving again.  She repeated, “I love you, Clarke.”  Then she added, “I love being with you, I love working with you, I respect you, I admire you, I am totally attracted to you, I look at you and I see hope.  I want nothing more than to be with you every second that I can.  Clarke, I am totally in love with you and I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.  You deserve to hear it every day.”

Clarke, in a full blush, leans in to Lexa initiating her own brief kiss effectively stopping Lexa from her ‘Ode to Clarke’.  She adds her own comment.

“You’re really cute when you’re nervous.”  Clarke says through the smirk on her face. 

Lexa, somewhat defeated at Clarke’s initial reaction, breaks eye contact as she drops her head facing the ground.  Clarke, quick to notice stops her descent by reaching out and grabbing Lexa’s chin. 

“Wait, Lexa.”  Now regaining eye contact, Clarke continues, “I love you.”  A smile reemerges on Lexa’s face as she pulls Clarke into a deep strong hug.  Both girls clench their eyes shut as they take in the emotions pulsating between them.

Clarke talks into Lexa’s ear as they remain embraced.  “We can make this work, Lexa.  We can make us work.  I love you, baby.” 

Lexa opens her eyes and pulls back to once again see Clarke face to face.  She holds their gaze momentarily before leaning in for another kiss.  This time she is much more aggressive, deepening her kiss almost instantly.  Her hands dart to Clarke’s hair and migrate down her neck, then down her sides and find residence on her ass.  Clarke responds by wrapping her own hands around Lexa’s neck, pulling her ever closer.  When she feels Lexa’s hands squeezing her ass, she involuntarily bucks forward while releasing an audible moan. 

“So, when exactly do you have to leave?”

Clarke barely finishes her question before Lexa pushes her against the nearby pillar, hoists her into the air while wrapping Clarke’s legs around her waist.  Breaking from Clarke’s lips, Lexa relocated her mouth to Clarke’s now elevated neck and collarbone where she hungrily attacked her skin leaving an obvious trail.  She breaks from her attack to respond, “Not just yet.”  Thrusting her hips into Clarke while catching her jolted body with her hands now relocated on Clarke’s breasts, she continues, “My body wants to show you how much I love you, too.”

 

   

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it has taken so long to update. I started this chapter back in early November....
> 
> To be honest, I was watching the 100 on the Season DVD set I purchased and realized that in the finale they edited out Clarke telling Lexa that she loved her. I was like, wait a minute here...Did I make it up in my head when I watched this air on TV?   
> Then I watched the finale on Netflix, same thing. I was so bummed out about it. It was like Lexa died all over again. Did anyone else notice this change? What do you think about it? Anyway, it really put a negative feeling in me about the show. I blame this partially for the time it took to update. 
> 
> I finally had the opportunity to come back to this and have every intention on finishing this fic so that Lexa and Clarke can have an outcome worthy of their character.
> 
> It may continue to be lengthy between updates but stick with me. I have a 21 month old at home and am due in .....drum roll....5 days to have my second baby. So forgive me in advance for the delays and sleep deprived typos :-) But I look forward to refuge in Clexa and finishing this story. I hope you continue to enjoy.


	17. Make Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke explore their newly verbalized love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter fluffy chapter before some major angst. Thanks for sticking with me. Sorry for the delay.

Lexa continued to grind into Clarke’s thighs as she held her pressed firmly against the wall.  Her hands worked in unison to caress and kneed Clarke’s breasts bringing her an unending supply of warm flesh to suckle and admire.  It wasn’t long before Lexa was completely drown in what is Clarke’s body.  Her attention to Clarke made her completely oblivious to everything else in her surroundings.

Clarke, although enjoying the attention and the obvious arousal of her girlfriend, was able to stay a little more in tune to their environment.  She could hear a knock on the meeting hall door.  It was timid at first, but built in intensity as no one responded. 

“Lex…”  Clarke trying to keep the mood tries to get Lexa’s focus elsewhere using a deep sultry voice.  Lexa only intensifies her thrusting into Clarke. 

“Lex…LEX…..LEXA…”  This time Clarke almost yells to get Lexa’s attention.

Pulling her mouth from her chest, Lexa kisses the source of interruption.  Clarke now speaking through their kiss, “Lexa, someone is knocking at the door.”

“I can have them killed.”  Lexa reverting back to pre-peace leader is serious when she says it, but seconds later realizes Clarke’s body had backed off in response.  “I’m kidding, I won’t have anyone killed.” 

Lexa slowly lowering Clarke to the ground in defeat to the interruption adds, “But heavily beaten.”  She smirks at Clarke as she says it.  Who is anyone to interrupt her alone time with Clarke?  


The pounding continues, and before Lexa can open the door, the door flies open on its own.  Although Lexa’s comment about beating the interrupter was in jest, the audacity of barging in makes her reconsider.  Reconsider, that is, until she sees the intruder.

Before Lexa can respond, Clarke shouts across the room.  “Mom.  What the hell?  You just barge in?”

Abby looks her daughter up and down.  The bruising evidence surfaces on more skin than Clarke is capable of covering up with her clothing.  She shifts uncomfortably trying to hide additional marks with her hands. 

Abby rolls her eyes at Clarke before addressing Lexa.  “Heda, I heard that you were here.  I also heard through Marcus that we changed the construction order.  I was unable to attend this morning’s meeting because I was attending to a construction injury.  Please Heda, I can’t say enough how important it is that the medical facility be constructed first.  I am worried that some sensitive equipment and medications may be lost if we have to wait much longer.”

Lexa responds, “I can assure you Abby, that our workers will complete the entertainment building within a few short days, allowing your facility to be built immediately after.”  


Abby, clearly irritated looks directly at Clarke.  “I just wanted to make sure you could hear from a doctor’s perspective on what risks might be taken if we wait any longer.  I wouldn’t want you to be misinformed or swayed by some less important motives.”

Clarke’s mouth dropped as she thought to herself.  _Holy shit.  Did she just call me, the entertainment building, my relationship with Lexa or all of the above less important?_

Lexa, not oblivious to the comment chooses to ignore its implications.  “Abby.  I can see that you are clear with your concern and intensions, but there are things more important to health.  People get hurt and people die.  But, what do they die for?  What causes them to get hurt?  A true leader knows that keeping people happy and in peace is of the upmost importance.  I have decided that something like Maya’s Music and Spirit will be first built in every clan.  This will allow each clan to acknowledge their allies and to praise their own sacrifice.  These facilities collectively will be an anchor in keeping peace within the 13 clans.”

Lexa now looking to Clarke continues, “Luckily, your daughter is such a headstrong leader that she can see the importance in such a need.”  Walking to Clarke and taking her hand in her own she adds, “This is exactly why I love her and why I intend to make that known once the 13 clan update is complete.”

Whatever disappointment Clarke felt due to her mother’s disrespect was replaced with pride and a little embarrassment with Lexa’s confession.  Her smile was bashful but unmistakable.

Abby, clearly defeated, retreats gracefully.  “Of course Heda.  We will make do with what we have until the medical facility is complete.” 

Looking at Clarke, she continues, “Clarke will you be providing your artistic skills in all 13 clans or just ours?”  Looking towards the portrait of Maya, “You clearly have the ability.”

Clarke, taken aback at her mother’s sudden change in tone, responds, “I don’t know.  I mean we haven’t discussed anything like that yet, but I would be open to it.”  Clarke looked to Lexa for her reaction.

Smiling at both of them, Lexa added, “Abby, what a wonderful idea.  Clarke, once the entertainment building, I mean Maya’s Music and Spirit, is finished here, you should create a piece for each of the clans.  Raven can give you some ideas as to what may be appropriate for each.  We could then deliver them once the clan renovations are complete.”

Excited to have such purpose, Clarke smiles through her response, “Yeah, okay that sounds great.” 

“Well, it sounds like you will be busy then.  I was hoping you could help me out in the medical facility, but I suppose that can wait until after you finish this project.”  Although it was her idea, Abby is slightly disappointed in that Clarke’s focus is still art rather than medicine.  “I guess I should get back.  I have patients waiting on me.” 

Abby left as quickly as she came, leaving Lexa and Clarke alone once again.  Lexa, taking Clarke’s hand in her own, says, “I should let Raven know we will leave at first light.  I think she is expecting us to leave tonight.” 

Clarke can’t help but smile.  “Oh, you aren’t leaving until tomorrow?  I thought you were rushed to get back?”

Lexa, smiling and pulling Clarke’s knuckles in for a kiss responds, “I am in a rush.  But, spending some needed quality time with my girl is even more important.  So, tomorrow morning will have to work.”

“Well, I was going to work more on Maya’s portrait,” Clarke paused to catch Lexa’s glimpse of disappointment, “but I suppose I can put that off until tomorrow morning as well.”

Lexa regained her smirk.  “I’m going to find Raven and let her know.  Can I meet you back here in a little while?”

“Yes, I will meet your room.”  Clarke pulled Lexa in towards her, kissing her lips.  “Hurry.”  She whispered before breaking away to retrieve her portrait from the front of the room. 

“Always.” Lexa whispered back before breaking free and leaving the room. 

***

It didn’t take long for Lexa to find Raven.  She was already repacked, cleaned up and ready to ship out again.  She was sitting outside of the main building in Polis.  Lexa spotted her as soon as she stepped outside.

“Raven.”  Raven turned and found the source calling her easily even within the noisy crowd of people.

“Lexa, sorry I mean Heda.  Forgot we are in public here.”  Raven blushed away her mistake.  “Are you ready? Where are we heading next?”

“Actually, Raven, I have decided to suspend our travels until tomorrow morning.  We will leave at first light.” 

Raven initially looked disappointed, but then quickly realized the reason behind Lexa’s delay.  “So, you finally grew a pair.  Must have went over pretty well if you want to stay the night, huh?”  Raven giggled as she finished her question.

Lexa, slightly embarrassed realizing how much detail Raven knew about her personal life, simply replied, “Things went well.  Yes.” 

Smiling even bigger Raven responded, “Hell yeah they did.  What did Momma tell you?”  Motioning to fist pump Lexa, Lexa simply raised a single eye brow in response.

Raven continued her friendly harassment, “Come on man, fist pump.  You totally just scored some points with Clarke and now you get to spend the night with her.  I’m sure you’ll be feeling much better than you did last night.  Go get some Heda.  I’ll be waiting here in the morning, or afternoon.”  Raven bobbed her head like a cocky athlete who just schooled her competition. 

Lexa, now in a full blush looked around to see who all could hear.  Old habits die hard.  She finished her conversation with Raven.  “The morning will be fine, Raven.” 

“Okay, I’ll be ready.”  Raven replied, adding, “The jury is still out as to whether you will be or not.”  Raven giggled at herself as she began to walk away. 

“Raven, wait.”  Lexa called her back, stepping closer to her as she did. 

“Yeah, what’s up?”  Raven responded with a slight raise in her eye brows. 

“Thank you.”  Lexa said looking directly into Raven’s eyes.  Her intensity made Raven a little uncomfortable.

“Yeah, sure.  No Problem.  That’s what friends do, Heda.  They call you on your shit.  You’re welcome.  Now go enjoy your night.  I’ll see you tomorrow.”  Raven turned and continued on her way and Lexa did the same.

She made a few pit stops at the sales booths in Polis before heading back to Clarke’s room.  First she stopped at a fresh fruit station.  She was granted anything she wanted for free.  She took some strawberries and some raspberries and some fresh bread.  She then walked around and around looking for something, but she wasn’t quite sure what. 

She found herself changing her mind over and over again.  She wanted to give Clarke something that meant something.  Something that represented how she feels for her.  Alas, nothing seemed to say enough.  She settled on a leather bound book.  Inside were blank pages.  She thought it would make for a nice sketch book for her. 

On her way back she passed a final booth.  Here she saw a woman making necklaces.  They were really quite simple.  The necklace was made of black leather straps, knotted such that the length of the necklace could be adjusted by pulling on the knots.  On most of them were a single bead or metal charm.  Her eye caught one that held a simple silver star in the center.  Upon closer review, she saw that it was truly a compass.  She wasn’t sure why, but something about its simplicity made her love it.  She had a feeling Clarke would too.

***

Clarke started to get a little nervous waiting for Lexa.  Perhaps it was the newly voiced sentiment between them.  Perhaps it was how slowly time seemed to pass as she sit waiting for her arrival.  She couldn’t place its origin, but she didn’t like it having such control over her.  She decided to take control by refocusing her energy on Lexa’s room. 

She walked through it looking at everything in detail as if each fur or candle were a newly displayed art piece.  She found herself thinking deeply about the progress they had made and the underlying emotion that such memories sparked. 

Most people of sound mind in her position would absolutely hate Lexa.  Most would never have forgiven her betrayal at Mount Weather.  Most wouldn’t be able to see past the solid walls she had created to keep others out; but Clarke wasn’t most people.  She couldn’t quite provide the rationale to herself either, but something deep down told her that what she felt for Lexa wasn’t wrong.  It was so much more than just an attraction.  It was an unstoppable force that neither she nor Lexa could help; even if they wanted to.  She smiled at their complexity, huffed at their intensity and eagerly anticipated what was to come. 

Just as she sat to take in the view from the balcony, the door opened creating a prominent squeak and subsequent slam as it closed just behind Lexa. 

Clarke’s eyes immediately locate Lexa’s hands who seem to be hiding their contents.  Lexa following her sight line interrupts to draw her attention.

“Hey.  Sorry it took me so long.  I made a couple of stops.”  Lexa moved directly to the dresser where she sat down the contents. 

Now looking Lexa in the eyes Clarke responds, “Hey.  It’s okay.  I hardly noticed.”  Both knew that was a lie.  Clarke knowing she had been caught blushes and releases a nervous giggle. 

Lexa moved closer to Clarke and wasting no time pulls her into an embrace.  In her ear she whispers, “I brought breakfast so we won’t have to worry tomorrow.  And, the others they are gifts for you, Niron.  I hope you like them.”

Clarke, still blushing from before can’t help but break into a full smile.  “For me?”  Her tone is playful.  “Lexa, you shouldn’t have.”  She kisses Lexa’s neck before pulling away.  With a childish voice she adds, “So what is it?”  Her tongue slightly pinched between her teeth makes Lexa now blush as her stomach flips. 

“Well, there are actually two things.”  Lexa moves to grab the items from the dresser.  Handing the first to Clarke, she adds, “I thought you could use it to collect your ideas for the artwork for each clan.  If you see some distinctive things you can make notes or sketches to help you remember.  Or, you can just use it to draw whatever you want.”

Clarke unwrapped the leather bound journal as Lexa was explaining.  She ran her finger across the stitching of the leather.  “This is awesome Lex.  I will definitely use it.  Thank you.”

Lexa took the necklace in her hands and approached Clarke.  “The other gift is a little more personal.”  She reaches out and places the necklace around Clarke’s neck.  She pulls on the leather straps, tightening the necklace until it takes more of a choker fit. 

Clarke immediately reaches her hand up to the compass star and runs her finger along its perimeter. 

“It’s a compass, shaped like a star.  The star reminded me of you because you came to me from the stars.  And the compass reminds me of us now.”

Clarke enjoyed Lexa’s attempt to be romantic and played into it further.  “So why does the compass remind you of us now?” 

“Well, I don’t exactly know the route that we will take together, but I know exactly where we will end up.  It’s like the directions don’t matter, Clarke, because no matter which way we go as long as we are together we will always make it home.”

 Clarke, leans into kiss Lexa through an enormous smile.  “You are kind of a dork, Lexa.”  Kissing her again playfully.  “But I love it!”

Lexa smiling back returns the kiss.  Her kiss is slow and passionate.  Her lips linger with each touch, as if making an effort to feel and memorize every contour of Clarke.  Clarke breathes into their kiss, windless from her efforts.  The scent of Clarke intoxicates Lexa making her eyes roll back into her head as she releases a moan.

Clarke’s hands make their way into Lexa’s as both squeeze tightly.  The touch of one another making each melt into a comfortable, passionate one.  Lexa walks slowly backwards until she is at the base of the couch.  She sits slowly, leaving Clarke standing in front of her.  Clarke takes the opportunity to gaze at Lexa before joining her on the couch. 

She lowers herself slowly, straddling her thighs around Lexa’s lap.  She keeps her weight on her knees to give her a better ability to move.  She sits up high on her knees giving her a height advantage over Lexa.  It also aims her chest directly into Lexa’s line of sight.  Lexa doesn’t hesitate to bring both hands directly to Clarke’s chest.  She caresses each breast softly and follows up with a tight squeeze eliciting a moan in Clarke’s response.  Clarke continues the response by lowering her hips deep into Lexa’s lap. 

Lexa runs her hands now up and under Clarke’s shirt, taking harbor back amongst the soft comfort of her chest.  Clarke raises back onto her knees breaking the contact momentarily, teasing Lexa. Lexa responds by pulling at Clarke’s hips until she is deep in her lap once again, grinding hard against her and this time wrapping her hands around her back.  She takes advantage to unclasp Clarke’s bra, releasing her soft comfort like a broken dam refreshes the earth beyond. 

Clarke takes it one step further by removing her shirt altogether.  With Lexa pressing open mouth kisses into Clarke’s neck, Clarke continued to grind deep and hard into Lexa’s lap.  She could feel her arousal thickening and dripping with anticipation.  Lexa breathing heavily aids the rhythm as her hands grab hungrily on Clarke’s ass, pulling her harder and harder into every oscillation.

Lexa can’t take the waiting anymore.  She wants to feel the wet of Clarke on her skin.  She wants to taste the sting of her attraction on her tongue.  She wants to demonstrate to Clarke, just how much she is dedicated to her, to this.  In what was surely a practiced choreographed move for battle, she swept Clarke into the air and flipped her such that she was laying on her back on the couch.  Her own body followed hard on top of Clarke.  She hesitated a moment wondering if her strike was too aggressive and paused looking Clarke in the eyes, waiting for permission.  Permission was granted, almost simultaneously as Clarke pulled Lexa back into a deep kiss.  

They kiss longer than most would expect, lingering in the scent of their newly verbalized love.  Each took many opportunities to once again voice it between breathes and kisses. 

“I love you Clarke.”  Lexa said, pulling back to look her in the eyes.  Clarke couldn’t help but smile. 

“I could get used to hearing that.”  She responded, her cheeks even redder than the flush skin had already been.

“No, I mean I really love you baby.  And I should have told you sooner.  I don’t want to lose you.” Her voice is hard to understand as she kisses Clarke between every word.

“I know baby.”  Clarke responds, providing the comfort and confirmation Lexa needed.  “I love you too, Lexa.  You’re amazing.”  Struggling to breathe herself, Clarke continues, “Just remember, we can do this.  We can make it.  Just remember that okay, baby.”

Lexa pauses again to look Clarke in the eyes before saying, “Always.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update: the baby came a week late, but she was healthy and beautiful. Life has been exhausting with 2 under 2, but well worth it. I intend to finish this fic, but be patient as sleep is a rare instance and time to write even rarer. 
> 
> Feel free to share comments and requests for this fic going further. Leave comments here or on twitter BLW3315


	18. Jealousy Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a few weeks on the road analyzing the remaining clans, Lexa returns to the Skaikru camp to attend the opening of Maya’s Music and Spirit. What was meant as a romantic gesture backfires into a stormy shit storm as Clexa experiences jealousy part II.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, sorry for the delay. This is truly on the first half of jealousy part II. I wanted to post something now but more to come soon.

“Raven, are you almost ready?  The Rover is fueled and ready to go.”  Lexa yells across the quarry at Raven who was still recording one more set of data.

“Yes Ma’am.  This is my last set of data.  And, it looks awesome thank you.” Raven yells back through her smirk brought on by yet another great idea.  Her idea of course which was panning out to another recipe for improvements and unity success. 

“We have to leave now if we are going to make the 10 hour trip back to Skaikru Camp.”  Lexa reminds Raven of the facts.  A reminder she has given her ample times by this point.  Waiting only one minute longer, Lexa yells again, “Raven, if we do not make it there by the opening I swear I will see to it that…”  Before Lexa can finish her statement, Raven has already packed up her lab kit and notebook and started the trek back to the rover. 

“Keep, you panties on Heda.  I’m coming.  And yes I know 10 hours and counting…then you’ll want your panties off and you’ll be …”

Lexa slapped Raven across the shoulder, “You are ridiculous, and you know that, right?”

Raven smiled back through her response, “You love it.”

“I love Clarke.”  Lexa playfully responded. 

“Yea, yea, yea I know.  You two make me sick how much you are like puppies and kittens.”  Raven squeezes her tongue between her teeth as she teases the eager Lexa.  “Just admit it though, you know you love me.  You enjoy me teasing you all the time.  I know you love me for pushing you to man up and talk to Clarke.  And see, everything is working out, just like momma said it would.”

Lexa, inwardly amused, remains stoic with only a slightly raised solo eyebrow.  “Get in the rover, Raven.” 

Both jumped in the rover and started the long journey back to Skaikru camp from the cliff clan.  At first, Lexa was concerned that Raven wouldn’t find much use to improve the cliff clan being that is made up of mainly mountain terrain and dry valleys.  Yet, like in a half dozen other clans visited in the previous 3 and half weeks, Raven quickly identified the potential in the cliff clan. 

Here she identified that the silver valley, as the local clan referred to it, was an old abandoned quarry.  After several ground samples, she identified the metals making up the majority of the Earth beneath them.  “A Ferrous, cupric, plumbous, tin fortune Lexa!”  This was what Raven hollered when the locals showed her the site.  “We can totally use this shit to isolate the metals needed to make steal.  We can use this to reinforce our housing, to create the major railway between clans and to construct additional machinery.”  Two days with the cliff clan and Raven had turned a pretty sight into a work site worthy of supporting the entire clan.

This is how most of the trip had gone.  Lexa and Raven arrive, are introduced, given a tour and then Raven goes to work while Lexa smiles with pride and reassures the locals of how much nicer life could be united.  For the most part, the local clansmen bought into the system and were heavily interested in what Raven proposed. 

To Raven it was really just common sense.  Of course the Desert clan should construct solar panels and batteries.  These batteries can be used for clans outside the reach of the hydroelectric power that will be produced in and by the Lake and Rock clans.  Of course, wind turbines can be constructed in the plains clans, along with a more industrialized take on farming.  Really, all Raven did was identify the strengths of the local terrain and the strengths of the people living on them and put the pieces together. 

The key will be connecting the pieces.  Finding a metal quarry just pulled two huge pieces of the puzzle together.  It unlocked the materials potential for a real railway that can connect the clans for trade and travel.  Her work was tireless, but Lexa could tell just how much Raven got out of it.  It wasn’t just about helping the clans, or keeping the alliance strong.  It wasn’t only about peace and keeping her people safe.  It was about Raven finding a new purpose.  It was about Raven allowing herself to heal.  And she was enjoying doing exactly that.

When Lexa heard the update from the Skaikru rider, sent every three days to give her an update of the construction progress, she knew a trip back was in order.  The construction had been going as close to plan as possible.  The entertainment building had been finished inside of two weeks, except for finish work inside.  This was left to Jasper, Clarke and their design team.  After another week and a half, the facility was now complete.  A grand opening was scheduled for that very evening.  All of Skaikru were anticipated to attend and to both celebrate the opening as well as enjoy a little bit of well-deserved down time.    

Lexa immediately knew she wanted to attend, but as a surprise for Clarke.  She was so proud of the work Clarke was able to accomplish in her absence.  She wanted to be present to see her face when Maya’s Music and Spirit was formally opened.  And, thus the rush to leave the cliff clan and head back. 

“So what do you think Clarke will say when she sees you Lexa?”  Raven asks while now driving slightly faster than she should be.  Raven waited for what seemed like too long of a period for an answer.  “Yo, Earth to Heda.”

Lexa turned and looked at Raven, “Huh, what?”

“Clearly you have your mind on what Clarke might what to do after the opening, don’t you.”

Lexa wasn’t thinking about what Clarke would say or do.  Lexa was simply imaging what Clarke would look like.  She could see her in her mind’s eye, all smiles in front of a crowd proud of her accomplishment.  She could hardly wait.

“I just hope she is satisfied.  I know she can be a perfectionist.  I hope she knows just how proud I am of her.”

“Well, genius.  Tell her.”  Always the easy answer for Raven.  Lexa just looked at Raven and smiled.

***

“Clarke, are you almost done?  Clarke.  Clarke!”  Jasper yells at Clarke, fueled more by anticipation than agitation.

“Yes, Jasper.  For the tenth time, I will be done before we open tonight.”  Clarke, turns from her final touches on the memorial wall to answer Jasper. 

“Okay.  I just, it’s just, I just want it to be perfect.”  He stutters, his nerves clearly surfacing.

“Jasper, it is perfect.”  Looking at the portrait of Maya front and center on the memorial wall, she adds, “She is perfect.” 

“She is.”  Jasper can’t disagree.  Slightly changing his tone and lifting his voice he asks Clarke once again.  “So, have you considered the solo yet?” 

“Look Jasper, I told you.  I am not very good with the piano and even worse with my voice.”  Jasper visibly deflates until Clarke adds, “But I suppose I can give it a go.  Assuming I’ve had just the right amount to drink.”

Smiling in excitement, “The drinks are on the house tonight.  I’ll make sure you get what you need.”  He walks away quickly, again fueled by excitement and anticipation.  “This is going to be awesome, Clarke.”

She can’t help but giggle at his antics.  Just weeks ago he was drinking himself into oblivion.  Now, he is an acting project manager and soon to be building manager, happy for life.  For once, hope was a tangible reality in the air at Skaikru.

***

The day proceeded at a snail’s pace for Lexa.  She couldn’t wait to get back to Skaikru, to get back to Clarke.  As the sun’s force dimmed, she could feel her heart race as they pulled up into town.  She insisted that Raven park the rover far from the festivities so to not draw attention to her arrival.  She wanted to ensure that the focus remain on Clarke, Jasper and the opening.  She was there just to observe, not to claim anyone’s well deserved attention.

Walking up to the building, they could tell it was a good turnout.  Bodies pressed into and out of the building breathing life into and out of its foundation.  Lexa made sure to keep her hood on her head so as to maintain her unknown identity.  Seeing as most people were well into their second or third drink by the time they arrived, her rouse worked well, fairly well.

Raven immediately was greeted by Skaikru.  Monty rushed her a drink before she could even say hello.

“Raven.  I’m totally allowed to distill now.  You have to try my newest flavor.  I added a step with strawberries that is to die for.”  Raven looked to Lexa for what felt like permission before leaving her side.  A simple head nod released her to be a party fanatic high on life. 

Lexa smiled as Raven shuffled off, encased in friends.  Her eyes then scanned the bar. They settled first on the memorial wall.  It was clearly Clarke’s work and it was amazing.  She started to walk in that direction before she felt a tug on her arm.  She turned quickly to her right and saw nothing but a group of intoxicated Skikru.  When her head returned, Clarke was standing in front of her. 

“Hey.  You made it.”  She could hardly speak as the smile on her lips made it difficult to form words. 

Lexa, equally smiley simply responds, “I wouldn’t miss it.”  The environment surrounding them encased Lexa like ocean waves crashing down on them.  She felt somewhat uncomfortable as she was not completely in control of it.  She was acutely aware of how many people surrounded her, of their mental fogginess and of her so far hidden identity.  So, when Clarke leaned in, or more like jumped in, for a kiss, her initial response was to pull away.

Clarke stopped in her tracks.  Lexa knew Clarke had an immediate shift in emotion as her face telegraphed it clearly.  “I’m sorry,” Lexa whispered.  The noise was so loud, she wasn’t sure if Clarke even heard her.  So she pulled Clarke’s ear to her lips.  “I’m sorry.”  She repeated.  “I need to be cautious.  I don’t know who is watching.  I don’t know who will see us.” 

Clarke, completely deflated, yet trying to muster understanding simply nodded in response then backed away.  Lexa, feeling like she completely ruined the moment steps back towards her.  “Listen, this is amazing.  You are amazing.  I can’t wait to be with you, just back at home where the walls don’t have eyes.”

“Yea, I get it.  You aren’t ready for people to see you with anyone in public.  I know, you’re working on it.”  Clarke’s logic somehow beat out her heart.  “Thanks for coming.  It means a lot to me.”

Lexa smiled and began to speak again, but her voice was drowned out by Jasper. 

“Clarke.  Get over here.  You’re up next!  We have to drink, I promised you!”  Jasper yelled from the center of the facility where a stage, microphone and speaker await an artist. 

Smiling, and now nervous Clarke looks back to Lexa, “I have to get a drink with Jasper.  Come with me.” 

“No, I better wait over hear.  Better that no one notices my presence.  You go.  Have fun, you deserve it.” 

Clarke made her way through the crowd to a boisterous Jasper.  He immediately handed her a shot.  And then another, and another.  She was feeling the alcohol, but not enough to hamper her skills.  At least not yet.  She took one more shot and a deep breath, while Jasper hushed the audience.

“Attention friends.  Skaikru, Trikru and any other kru that may have made their asses down here tonight.  We are so excited to open Maya’s Music and Spirit.  This is one of many nights of fun and togetherness we will share.  Tonight, we have a little special treat.  Our very own Clarke Griffin is going to give us the first performance of the venue.  Don’t you worry, you can have your very own turn on this stage too.  Just sign up with me or Monty or Clarke.  Every Saturday will feature a new artist.  Without further ado, here from way up in the fucking sky, our very own Clarke Griffin Kom Skaikru.”

Jasper led the crowd in a warm welcome of cheers, hollers and applause.  Clarke in a full blush takes the stage.  Although her feelings were slightly hurt by Lexa’s distance, she tried to remember her promise and patiently recoups.  She sits down at the piano.

“So this is one I found scavenging through old audio on the ark.  I didn’t know who it was about until just recently.”  The crowd awes at the admission of a crush or secret love obvious in the remark.  Some people, Abby, Kane, Jasper, Raven and those closest to her look to each other and smile.  Clarke’s cryptic nature couldn’t fool them. 

Clarke leans into the microphone, “This is called _Brink of Destruction_.”  Her hands start to play a soft repeating cadence.  The crowd once rowdy, sits quietly taking in the performance.

                **_It would be, if it could be so wonderful if we succeed_**

**_Your warmth and your words found a place in my world and breathed new life in_ **

**_We come from the brink of destruction_ **

**_We gathered ourselves from the floor_ **

**_We tried and we suffered and finally recovered_ **

**_And found a new way to live_ **

**_We’re two side by side with impossible dreams_ **

**_Taking a chance to let love in_ **

 

                **_Storms come I learned to be strong_**

**_I don’t lean on anyone else_ **

**_But now I am so content here in your arms_ **

**_I don’t want to be anywhere else_ **

**_With you I’m home, with you I’m home_ **

 

                **_I hold fast to my destination_**

**_I know that the road will be long_ **

**_We light up the sky let the beauty define us and give,_ **

**_Give it all we got_ **

**_We’re two side by side with impossible dreams_ **

**_Taking a chance to let love in_ **

 

**_Storms come I learned to be strong_ **

**_I don’t lean on anyone else_ **

**_But now I am so content here in your arms_ **

**_I don’t want to be anywhere else_ **

**_With you I’m home, with you I’m home_ **

After closing her eyes during the last verse, Clarke opened her eyes to a silent audience.  The first thing she noticed was Jasper hugging the Trikru clansmen standing next to him.  The gesture was one of forgiveness, of an apology, of hope, of love and healing.  Before the hug broke the entire building had broken out in a similar fashion.  Clarke’s song, or performed cover song rather, wasn’t just about her love for Lexa, it told the story of her people. 

After scanning the crowd, she found Lexa in the same corner she left her in.  A smile and a single tear line her face.  She wiped it before anyone could notice, of course.  Despite the deflated feeling she felt during her rejection, Clarke knew Lexa felt the same.  Even if she wasn’t yet able to show it in public. 

“Wow, well I guess that was just the kind of song we needed to start this place.  I don’t want to mess that up, so I’m gonna stop there.  Monty, let’s get back to the featured play list.”  There was no protest.  It was the perfect entrance for a place of union, a place of healing.  Clarke was stepping off the stage and just about the head towards Lexa in the crowd when she was cut off.

“Hey, Clarke.  Is there anything you can’t do?”  A familiar voice yells over the noise of the crowd.

“Nylah?”  Clarke struggles to identify the blonde as people continue to push past her in the crowd.  “Hey, Nylah.  How are you?”  Clarke immediately feels guilty knowing the last time she saw Nylah she was sneaking out of her bed silently. 

Rather than letting Clarke leave the stage, Nylah jumped up to meet her.  “It’s so much easier to talk up here.  I keep getting bumped down there.  I lost two drinks in like 5 minutes.”

“Oh, no!  Hey, Jasper, get us some shots on the house over here.”  Clarke calls out eager to make up for her less than mature prior behavior.

“Hey, Nylah, I’m so sorry I didn’t…”

Nylah interrupted Clarke before she should give a full apology for walking out on her just a few months prior.  “Don’t worry, Clarke.  I know you were being extra cautious and couldn’t take any risks.  I was just surprised when I didn’t see you again.  It was days later when I heard you were taken in by the Commander.  I was relieved to hear Azgeda did not get you.”

“Yes, it was a crazy couple of months.  I went from being hunted to being ambassador of the 13th clan.  Life is crazy sometimes.”  Clarke responds to be polite, but was more interested in keeping the conversation short so she could find Lexa.

“Crazy, yaaas that’s for sure.  The Commander has a reputation for that, believe me.”  Nylah laughs.

Now intrigued, “Oh, yeah, what reputation is that?”  Clarke inquires

“Well, you know.  She can change her mind on a dime.  Kills people for no reason.  Has crazy taste in women.”

“Wait, what do you mean crazy taste in women.  I thought she stays single so she can focus on her leadership.”

“Oh, well I’m not sure she really has relationships, but she has relations if you know what I mean.  And her choices are…”

“Are what?” Clarke interrupts eager to hear her response.

“Weird.” Nylah answers, a little unsure as to why Clarke has taken such an interest.

“Weird how, and how do you know?”  Clarke’s tone was a challenge and Nylah, all ego, was eager to explain.

“Well, when Heda came to Trikru for the assessment review she brought women with her.”

“Of course she did, Nylah.  She is seeking the counsel of several people for renovations.”  Clarke defends.

“I know, but they stayed with me at the trading post.  I offered to take them in for their stay.”

Clarke, a little confused and embarrassed knowing Lexa stayed in the same place she had indiscretions with Nylah argues, “Lexa stayed with you?”  Her tone was almost accusing.  She wanted to ask Nylah if Lexa stayed with her like STAYED WITH HER or not.  “I mean like you and her…”

Nylah misinterpreting Clarke’s jealousy for herself responds, “No honey, I didn’t sleep with her.”  Clarke relieved, relaxes.  Nylah continues, “But she did sleep with that gimp in my spare bedroom!”

Clarke paused for a second trying to take in the words.  “You mean Raven.  They travel together, they sleep together everywhere they go.”

“No.” Nylah takes a step closer and looks Clarke right in the eyes.  “They, you know, slept together.”

“You have to be mistaken, Nylah.”  Clarke angry assuming Nylah misunderstood. 

“Well, let’s just say they didn’t try to hide it.  Raven sat right no her lap and kissed her right in front of us.  Heda pulled her to bed right after that.   Let me find my friend Simi.  She was there and saw it too.”

“Wait.” Clarke now feeling a whirlwind of emotion flush through her pulls Nylah back.  “Let’s do a shot.”  One shot turned into two and then three.  By the fourth shot, Clarke lost track of where Lexa was in the bar. 

That was until she saw Lexa on the dance floor, hood down and identity fully exposed to the crowd gathering around her.  And was that…. “No fucking way.”  Clarke’s thoughts spoke out loud.

“What?” Nylah turned to see Lexa being pulled and spun in dance with no other than Raven Reyes.  “Oh, I guess I don’t need Simi to confirm after all.”  Nylah smiles, proud of herself.  Completely misreading the situation, she leans in to kiss Clarke. 

Clarke, drunk and in shock missed her move and Nylah lands her kiss square on Clarke.  Her reaction is delated, but clear as she pulls back.  “Nylah, I’m sorry.  I can’t.” 

Turning her head she once again found Lexa now hand in hand with Raven, dancing as if to intentionally entertain the crowd.  Before her hazing mind has time to respond, she hears Raven yelling.  “Body shots bitches!”  The crowd yells with her as she drags Lexa towards the bar.

Clarke, totally confused, angry and irrationally jealous, throws her shot glass to the ground.  “Like hell she is.”  Clarke yells out, confusing Nylah who remains oblivious to the situation.  Rather than approach Lexa directly to ask what the fuck was going on, Clarke in her drunken logic instead grabs Nylah’s arm.  “You have time for one more shot.” 

Nylah responds with a smirk and a raised eye brow.

 

 

 

 

               

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus points if you can name the Artist Clarke covered...
> 
> Keep an eye out for the second half of this chapter. Thanks for being patient.


	19. Jealousy II B

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa experiences Clarke on a not so mature night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone still out there?   
> So sorry this has taken so long. Life has thrown me a few curve balls. Babies, a family death, a home purchase....  
> Thank you to anyone who is still there and following my fic.   
> I have an ending in my head. Probably about 3-4 more chapters to go. I can't promise soon, but I will see it through!
> 
> PS sorry for typos...posted without a reread...didn't know when I'd get another chance.

 

“Lexa, I’m telling you, this is the perfect time to reveal yourself to the crowd.”  Raven tries to convince Lexa as she yanks at her hand pulling her closer.  “Seriously.  After Clark’s performance, this whole place is beaming and oozing with peace, love and harmony.  It’s perfect for your message.”  Raven reaches up to hold Lexa’s face between her two hands, demanding focus.  “Lexa, you can’t script this shit!  Take advantage of this mood man!”  As Raven pulled her hands away she bumped Lexa’s hood, causing it to fall down.

It was almost instantaneous that she was noticed.  A fellow trikru recognized her from just a few feet to her left. 

“Heda!”  He yelled over the crowd, smile beaming.  “What a gift to have you here to celebrate this opening, this union, this new way of life.  We are all very lucky to be a part of such a success.  Thank you, Heda, for all that you do!”

Lexa stood a little bit taller, locked her knees and raised her chin.  “It is my honor to support my people, our people.”  She said as she smiled back at the fellow tribesman. 

The ebb and flow of the crowd’s waves separated the man from Lexa.  For a moment she considered raising her hood and high stepping it back to the door in order to avoid any further recognition.  Before she could act on her thought a familiar chipper voice rang in her ear.

“See.”  Raven yelled from less than a foot away.  “They love you and they love that you are here.  You shouldn’t be hiding.  Enjoy the night.  Enjoy your people….enjoy Clarke.”  Raven winked as she continued to encourage Lexa. 

“Raven.  I really should be taking things seriously.  We are only halfway through the clans.  I don’t want any of them to think we are partying and taking our time while they still wait for their due updates.”

“Lexa, honey, lighten up.  You are entitled to a night off.  Now come dance with me.  Let loose a little.  Then we find that amazing woman of yours.”  Raven pulled Lexa’s arm and led her to the dance floor. 

“Raven, I really don’t dance.  My job as Heda does not afford me such.  I can’t look foolish or selfish or…”  Lexa is interrupted by Raven pulling even harder on her arm. 

“Heda, excuse me here but maybe that was part of the problem.  Stop being such a tight ass and give yourself a break.  It’s one dance for Christ’s sake.”  Raven, more determined than ever had now successfully relocated Lexa to the dance floor.

With the music at deafening levels, Lexa attempted to ask Raven how to dance, but Raven ignored her attempts.   Instead she led Lexa with twirls and dips, pumps and hugs.  She would not likely have admitted it, but Lexa enjoyed dancing.  It was almost like training or fighting.  She allowed her body to take over and relaxed her mind.  That is until she turned her head, spotting Clarke.  Clarke and that bitch Nylah.  She spotted them just in time to see Nylah plant a kiss directly onto Clarke’s lips.  The action sent lighting through her veins, stopping her dance instantly.  Before she had any time to think or respond further she was being pulled by Raven again. 

Raven tugging Lexa by the arm and heading for the bar was unaware of the kiss between Clarke and Nylah.  Her purpose was in fact to bring Lexa and Clarke together, to rejoin their separated bodies making safe passage through the sea of drunken craziness.  Well, at least that was her plan as she screamed, “Body shots bitches!”

***

Clarke, still spinning from the effects of the alcohol she shared with Nylah, stands confused and hurt at the prospect of Lexa revealing herself with Raven.  She stands mortified at the prospect of Lexa and Raven at all.  Instead of leaving, Clarke makes what is likely a terrible decision.  In response to Raven’s call for body shots, she invites Nylah to stay for one more shot. 

Nylah, full of herself and enjoying Clarke’s company, obviously accepts the invitation.  “I definitely have room for one more shot, Klark.”  She responds playfully.  “But, who gets to go first?  And what liquor do you have a taste for?”

Clarke, looking back at Raven tugging Lexa closer to the bar, responds eager and vindictively. “Tequila.  And I will go first.” 

Nylah wastes no time climbing on top of the bar, knocking over a few drinks in her haste.  Rather than start an argument, most spilled drink victims were cat calling when they realized what was happening, making room and claiming their front row seat to the action. 

The bar tender had poured a shot of tequila into the seam of Nylah’s belly, submerging her belly button and creating a small crater lake.  Clarke wasted no time before dipping down and engulfing the salty mixture of alcohol and sweat.  Nylah, enjoying the attention, demanded more.  “Wait,” she yelled to the bar tender.  “One more.”  As the bottle motioned to pour the shot she intercepted its pathway pouring the liquor between her breasts rather than a repeat into her belly.  “One more?”  This time the statement is a flirtatious question directed to Clarke. 

Hesitating only briefly, Clarke dipped down again.  This time she was more intentional about her contact, lingering between Nylah’s chest longer than necessary to lap up the booze.  She finished by running her tongue up Nylah’s chest, up her neck and finishing at the tip of her chin.  As she picked her head up from there she saw Lexa standing right in front of her starring at her. 

Rather than immediately start a cat fight, Lexa straightened her posture, locked her knees and raised her chin high.  She looked at Clarke for a response, an explanation, an apology perhaps.  She was excellent at containing her rage, her jealousy, her confusion, her disappointment.  No one would have even known there was anything wrong, well except for Clarke.  Clarke knew because Clarke could feel it straight through to her core.  She was the one acting like an ass yet she could feel the sucker punch of disappointment when she saw the pain she caused sneaking out of Lexa’s eyes.  Lexa was amazing at camouflaging it from most, but Clarke could feel what she had done.

 

“Lexa.”  Clarke said with what sounded like a surprised voice, although she clearly intended for Lexa to see….didn’t she?

Lexa lifting her chin just a little higher to acknowledge Clarke responds, “Clarke.” 

They stand toe to toe for what seemed like minutes, but was only seconds before Raven interrupted. 

Raven, misunderstood in motive, only wanted an excuse to bring Lexa and Clarke together.  She was not as composed when she realized the one coming up from between Nylah’s breasts was Clarke.  She did a double take, then immediately changed her demeanor.

“Clarke, what the fuck?” Raven said with body language as aggressive as her tone.

“Me what the fuck?”  Clarke happy for the distraction away from Lexa took the bait, hook, line and sinker.  “How about you what the fuck?”

“Me?”  Raven turning her head around assuming she missed something as she completely didn’t understand why Clarke would be mad at her.  “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about you using your position to travel with Lexa to get in her fucking pants.  I should have known.  You can’t stand the thought of me being happy, of me being with someone special, and leaving you to be alone.  This is some sick twisted long term pay back for Finn or something.”  Clarke starts a screaming match with Raven in the middle of the bar. 

Before Raven can respond, Jasper inserts himself between the two.  “Ladies, ladies.  I’m not sure what the hell either of you are talking about.  It’s probably the tequila talking for you.”  He nudges Clarke in the shoulder.  “But, this is supposed to be a happy night, and you two are drawing attention.  Can you please take this outside and figure out your shit somewhere that’s not here!” 

Clarke, somewhat relieved at the invitation for escape, briskly walks out of the bar.  Raven chases after her, leaving Lexa to deal with the drunken Nylah.  Rather than kick her in the teeth, she offers her a hand to help her stand back up. 

“Thank you.”  Nylah offer’s her gratitude for the polite gesture from Lexa.  Lexa responds with only a half smile.  “I’m surprised to see you here Heda.  I assumed you would be half way to Azgeda by now for the inspections and evaluations.  Oh, and thank you again for everything that you are doing for Trikru.  You know, you are always welcome to stay with me when you come back to our village!”  Nylah winks at Lexa.  “Would you like a shot, Heda?  My treat.”  Nylah’s attempts to woo Lexa are nearing a drunken pathetic tone. 

“No.  No thank you.  I need to keep a clear head about me.  And, I’m not one for Tequila, anyway.”  Her words were simple, but the underlying meaning was there.  She was not one for Nylah, for desperate beggars.  She wasn’t interested in manipulators.  She wasn’t interested in anyone for that matter.  Well, except for Clarke that is. 

Lexa excused herself from the bar and made her way to the door.  She was hurt and confused by Clarke’s actions, but she was also intuitive enough to know that Clarke must have somehow been provoked.  There were holes and gaps in her understanding and she needed to find Clarke to figure it out.  To explain any misunderstanding, and to make it right. 

***

“Clarke, can you just slow the fuck down for a second.  Seriously, this is ridiculous.”  Raven yells having fallen a dozen paces behind the angry, alcohol fueled Clarke.

Clarke stopped in stride, spinning around to respond to Raven.  Her spin was a bit too far and she had to catch herself from falling over.  Raven couldn’t help but giggle at the sight pissing Clarke off even more.

“Shut up.  Just shut the fuck up.”  Clarke yelled not knowing how else to respond.

“Clarke, Seriously, Lexa and I traveled all day to make it to your opening.  You are all she talks about, thinks about, and cares about.  Where is this coming from?”  Raven legitately confused pleads for answers.

“Just stop Raven.  You are not allowed to even say her name.  I trusted you.  I thought we had been through some shit.  You know like some real shit that made us like survival sisters or what not.  But now, you have to go and steal the woman I fell in love with as soon as my back is turned.”  Clarke speaking loudly is clearly overcome with several emotions, tears welling as she continues. 

“I fucking cut Finn off as soon as I knew you even existed.  You can’t blame me for not knowing you were there.  I gave you and him the choice and the chance to work it out.  I made him tell you.  And what do I get in response.  I get you running off to all 12 clans, fucking my girlfriend in each one.”  Clarke spins again to walk away having said her peace.

“Whoa.  Where the fuck do you think you are going.  You can’t just drop a bomb like that and walk the fuck away.”  Raven grabs Clarke’s arm stopping her from advancing.

“Clarke, I am NOT sleeping with Lexa.  We have gotten closer traveling together, but it is sticktly on a friend level.  If anything, all she every fucking talks about is you.  She asks about you, how to impress you, how to deal with her fucking Heda shit while loving you.” Raven searches Clarke’s eyes, hoping she believes her and understands her.

“Likely story, Raven.  But I have proof.”  Clarke wishing Raven’s words to be true, can’t get past the descriptions told to her by Nylah and the dancing images still burning in her mind.

“Proof?  What the fuck proof can you possibly have?  I didn’t sleep with Lexa Clarke.  I didn’t anything with her.”

“I know that you and Lexa stayed with Nylah in the Trikru village.”  Clarke spits out.

“Yah, so.”  Raven waiting for something that makes sense spits out.

“And I know that you fucking sat on her lap and kissed her right in front of everyone and then ran to bed with her not even hiding anything.”  Clarke pauses after her statement, then enters into a full-out sob.

Raven paused for a minute or two and then burst out into a loud laughter.  She continued for what seemed like a long time. 

“Oh, is this fucking funny.”  Clarke stopped her sob as she exchanged the hurt for more anger. 

Raven just continued to laugh.  Clarke begin to walk away again until Raven once again stopped her from going. 

“No, no you are not funny Clarke.  I’m sorry.  This, this is just a huge misunderstanding.  You girl Nylah there, yah salty tits.  See, she is just a big fucking liar.”

“Big liar huh, isn’t that convenient for you.”  Clarke rolls her eyes.

“No, really.  She is just a liar.  I mean it’s true that I sat on Lexa’s lap and I even did kiss her on the cheek.”  Raven begins to explain interrupted by Clarke’s gasp at her acknowledgement.

“No, for real Clarke.  Salty tits was constantly hitting on Lexa and I jumped in to save the day.”  Raven smiles expecting gratitude from Clarke.

“You saved the day.  Are you nuts? Why should I believe a word of what you are saying, Raven?”

“Well, because we are survival sisters.  And there is more to it than that.  I also saved Lexa from killing your girl salty tits.” 

“What do you mean saved Lexa from killing her?  She is Trikru, and don’t call her that.”

“Like I said, Lexa also slit salty tit’s throat.  But I stepped in there too.  Saved both your bitches.  Two birds, one kiss kinda thing.”  Raven again smiling at herself.

“Lexa wouldn’t kill Nylah. She would have no reason too.  Now, I know you’re a fucking liar.”  Clarke snapped back.

“Clarke, I know you fucked Nylah.  And, you should have heard the way Nylah was talking about you.  I mean you were like really desperate at that point.  Right after Mount Weather and all.  But Nylah spoke some shit about you and Lexa, well, let’s just say Lexa didn’t like it.”

Clarke, paused for a moment before responding, “You faked sleeping with Lexa, to break Nylah’s interest? And, you stopped Lexa from killing Nylah when Nylah was talking about me somehow?”  Clarke recaps their conversation.  “And you know I slept with Nylah, and does that mean Lexa knows too?”

“You and salty tits, yup, Lexa knows.  And she just saw you body shot off of that bitch too.”  Raven adds to the development.

“Shit.”  Clarke says under her breath.  “Shit, fuck, shit, fuck.”  She adds.  “I fucked up Raven.  Shit, fuck, I fucked up.”

“Yes, I would say you did.  But, if you explain yourself to Lexa, she will understand.  She is amazing Clarke, but you already know that.  You do need to find her and apologize though.”  Raven having already forgiven Clarke for the mishap provides some friendly advice. 

“Yes.  Yes, where is she?”  Clarke turns and begins to head back towards the festivities.  She doesn’t make it more than 10 feet before a cloaked person steps out of the woods and grabs Clarke by the shoulder. 

Clarke, slow to respond because of the liquor, jumped back shocked and scared until Lexa revealed herself.  “Oh Christ Lexa, you scared the shit out of me.”

Lexa’s eyes dart back and forth between Clarke’s.  “Sorry.”  She speaks softly, reaching to wipe away Clarke’s tears. 

“I’m sorry, Lexa.  I totally fucked up.  I can’t believe I listed to Nylah.  I trusted her.  She told me…”

“Shhhhh.”  Lexa interrupted Clarke.  “Clarke, shhh.  I heard everything you said to Raven.  I understand.  I’m annoyed, I wish you hadn’t drank so much because you maybe would have seen my eyes searching for you, not Raven at that bar.”

Clarke broke eye contact in embarrassment of her behavior. 

“Don’t do that.”  Lexa commands.

“Do what?”  Clarke continues to stare at the ground.

“Look at me, Clarke.  I drove all day long to see you, to hear you, to be near you.  Look at me, baby.”

“I’m sorry, Lexa.  I don’t want Nylah, I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

“I know, Clarke.  I know you were hurt and confused and I’m sorry you ever had to feel that way, but it’s over and I’ll get over it.  All I want to do is to walk back into that bar and to show you off to everyone.”

“Really?”  Clarke’s eyes finally regain contact with Lexa’s.

“Yes, Clarke.  I love you.  I don’t want to waste any more of our time on ever doubting each other.  I thought it needed to wait until all 12 clans were satisfied, but I don’t care if they have to wait a bit longer.”  Lexa pulls Clarke into her arms.  “I’m ready to tell the world about you and I Clarke, but there is just one thing.”

“What is it?”  Clarke waits.

“I want you to be sober when I do this.  I want people to see you in the way that I do.  I want you to remember it, and I want us to have this night in the past.”  Lexa adds, “Tomorrow morning, we will share us with the world.  Then we will celebrate together.  I will stay here with you for as long as it takes for us to make this right.  The other clans can wait.  There is nothing more important to me right now, then you, Clarke.”  Lexa can’t quite believe she said it out loud.  She just admitted her feelings for Clarke were more important to her than her people or the work on improving the alliance.  She uttered the words she was afraid were true, but now know are true.  Even still, she knew she wouldn’t have to say it quite like that to the clans.

“Tomorrow it is then.”  Clarke smiled as she responded. 

“Yes, tomorrow.”  Lexa replied.

“Well, what happens with the rest of tonight?”  Clarke inquires, teasingly.

“Well, um, I’m going to walk you home, give you a kiss, and tell you to sleep this crazy drunkenness off.”  Lexa chuckled.

“You’re not going to come stay with me?”  Clarke was a bit surprised and disappointed.

“I will make my way back to you before the night is over.  I should go back and thank Jasper and your crew for the wonderful opening.”  Lexa explained. 

“Oh, well just go ahead and do that and meet me back at my place.  Walking me there will only make you take longer to get back to me.  I sleep better when you are in my arms.”  Clarke makes her argument.

“I prefer to walk you back, Clarke.”  Lexa responds.

“I’m fine.  I know these woods well.  And, as you know, I helped develop this layout.  My place is not far.  I can see it from here practically.”  Clarke motions to the building behind a set of nearby trees.  “Go, say your thank yous’.  Besides, Raven is already headed that way.  I’ll be right behind her.”

Lexa leaned into Clarke, kissing her softly, careful not to instigate too much in her drunken girlfriend.

“Hurry home and get the bed warm for me.”  Lexa whispered before releasing her grip.

“Yes m’am.”  Clarke responded.    

Lexa made her way back towards the festivities while Clarke made her way towards the sleeping quarters.  It was only minutes before a hooded person jumped out of a tree and grabbed Clarke’s arm. 

“Lexa, I told you I can make my way back by myself.  But I could use another kiss.”  Clarke playfully tugged the hood off of the person.  Her heart sank when she saw an unfamiliar face covered in white paint as well as two additional figures flanking her. 

Before she had a chance to scream, she was stabbed in her neck with a small poke.  It wasn’t intended to be a fatal blow, she remembered thinking.  She tried to call for Lexa, but her voice was paralyzed and quickly following, she blacked out completely. 

 


	20. To Thine Own Blood Be True

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa makes a quick decision in response to Clarke’s disappearance.

Clarke awoke with a pounding headache and confusion. The burlap bag over her head didn’t help in figuring out the details. She reached for the bag and immediately realized her hands were bound. This revitalized her fear as she began to panic.

  
“Hey. Get this fucking bag off of me. I can’t breathe mother fucker. Hey.” She yelled loudly between labored breathing. “Whoever the fuck you are, Lexa is going to fucking kill you.” Struggling to free her hands she lost her balance and fell. It was then that she realized she was being pulled in a wagon as she crashed almost four feet to the ground.

  
Clarke could hear that her crash caused commotion as bodies brushed up against her and voices whispered in foreign tongues. Sure, it made sense. The kidnappers would not want to be loud enough for others to see or hear. It was only a minute or so before Clarke felt each arm tightly tugging her back into the wagon. Before the wagon began moving again, there was more discussion that Clarke could not understand. It seemed like there was disagreement and even a fight amongst the voices.

  
The voices suddenly changed tone from discussion and yelling to an all-out shriek. Clarke could hear the sound of skin being cut and blood squirting. She thought for sure Lexa had found her and was making quick work out of the kidnappers. Amongst the chaos she was knocked over. The bag on her head was pulled partially off, just enough that she could catch a glimpse of her surroundings.  
At least five men wearing white war paint were huddled kicking and punching a body on the ground. Clarke’s stomach sank, thinking they had gotten the best of Lexa. She tried to sit up in a miserable attempt to aid the fallen victim.

  
“Stop.” A male voice yelled. “We need him to send Lexa the message.”  
Clarke was both relieved that the victim was not Lexa and once again panicked for her safety. Still peeking through the limited view she had, she saw the crowd back away from the victim. To her surprise, the victim, now seeing what seemed to be a man, continued to fight the crowd. He lunged at one of the white faces attempting to take them down.  
“Old man, please. We have you out-numbered. You cannot defeat us.”

  
“Then I will die trying.” He grunted again lunging at another white face. He was quickly stuck and fell back to the ground. Clarke knew as soon as she heard his voice, it was Titus.  
Still unwilling to stop, Titus found himself once again surrounded by the gang. This time they had restrained him to his knees with his hands behind his back. The white-faced man who yelled to stop his original beating was once again making commands.

  
“Titus, you will hear my demand. And then, you will deliver my message to Lexa. If you do not, the girl dies and then of course you die.”  
Titus laughs at the white faced man. “I’m already dead.” Of course he is referring to the fact that Lexa will likely kill him for failing to protect Clarke himself.  
The white faced man laughs in return. “Haha, yes it might be so. However, she,” the man reaches over and rips off the remaining part of Clarke’s bag fully exposing her face, “She is not.”  
Titus looks to Clarke with sympathetic eyes. His confidence that either of them will see tomorrow is slim.

  
“Take me instead of her. She can relay your message to Lexa.” Titus throws the Hail Mary suggestion.  
Again, the white-faced man laughs. “Titus, do you take me for an idiot? We know Lexa is fond of this girl. So much so that she is being absolutely stupid. She had her chance to make things right with us after killing our Queen, but instead she takes her time playing around with blondie here.”  
“No. Lexa has every intension of following through with updating Azgeda. Your village far away. We have to build the assistance to get there.”

  
“Mako, take his left ear.” The white-faced man calmly demands. Just like that, Titus’ ear is sheared completely off, falling to the ground. Clarke gasped audibly.  
“You mother fucker.” She yelled.  
Titus made eye contact with Clarke then slowly shook his head, silently begging her to be quiet.

  
“Now, Titus.” The white-faced man continues. “Can you hear me clearly?” He pauses with a slight chuckle before continuing, “You will deliver my message to Lexa or I will kill her little doll.”  
Titus does not verbally respond, but looks the white-faced man in the eyes.  
“Good.” The white-faced man steps closer to Titus so that he is face to face. “Tell Lexa, when she killed our Queen, she opened the door for several young Azgeda warriors to dream about filling her shoes. It seems there is much disagreement about which of them should indeed assume the position. But, what our people can decide on is that Lexa’s decision to leave us in the ice without her promised improvements is unacceptable. A wonderful young candidate, Echo, has stepped up and rallied our people together. She has promised them that we will get what is our fair share. And, she has convinced them the best way to do it is to demand that Lexa prove her command in blood.”

  
Clarke was both frustrated about Azgeda’s impatience and confused about his point. Prove her command in blood. What the fuck does that mean? She thought to herself.  
It would seem that Titus knew exactly what that meant. As soon as it was mentioned Titus turned completely pale. Sure it could have been because his ear was cut off and he was bleeding horribly from the injury…but Clarke had a feeling, his fear was for Lexa, not himself. It was only seconds later that Titus finally spoke.

  
“I will inform Lexa of the request.” He did not make any further eye contact with Clarke. Perhaps he knew she would be able to sense his fear.  
“Great. I knew you would listen, Titus.” The white-faced man said. “Just for safe measure, let’s make sure you heard it well enough not to forget.” He motioned again to the gang restraining Titus. Without hesitation, they cut off his other ear, this time he fell to the ground before he could catch himself.  
“Best be going now, Titus.” The white-faced man then turned and looked at Clarke. “Lexa’s dolly is waiting.” He smiled at Clarke before aggressively jamming the bag back over her head.  
**********  
Lexa stood tall with her heels locked together and hands clasped behind her back. Her attention was sharp and focused on Kane as he walked her though different suggestions.

  
“Heda, like I said a few minutes ago. We could easily pull even 25% of our workers to create a search party. Keeping 75% working two shifts we won’t have to worry about losing too much ground. If we pull everyone, we may get an uprising on our hands.”

Abby interrupted before Lexa had a chance to respond. “With all due respect, Marcus, this is my daughter we are talking about. I think we can spare more than 25%. We need people from every clan searching. They know their own terrain.”

“What about a fucking reward?” Raven jumps in. “Whoever finds her, or even has information about what happened gets a fucking rocking crib. I’m telling you rewards are the best option.”  
Lexa stood patiently, listening to all suggestions. No one would have been able to tell her heart was thumping nor that her stomach had fallen to the floor. Before she has the chance to speak, the door to the main hall is busted open as Titus enters.

  
Lexa stands a tad bit taller and places her hand upon her dagger. Her anger at Titus for failing to keep Clarke safe is limitless.  
“Titus,” Lexa almost spits his name out in anger. “I suppose you are here to beg for your life as you have clearly failed in your one duty.” Lexa draws her dagger. Before she makes any other motion she notices the blood dripping down both sides of Titus’ face. “Seems someone else has beaten me to the punch.” Her jest is more vengeful than funny.

Titus wastes no time walking straight to Lexa. “Heda. Forgive me.” Titus falls to his knees in front of her.  
Rather than take his life immediately, though she wanted to, her fear for Clarke takes over. “Where is she? What happened? Who has her?”  
Titus looks up, making eye contact with Lexa. “It was Azgeda.”

“Mother fucker I knew it.” Raven jumps up. “Gotta be something wrong with people who want to wear ash on their faces all the time. Let’s go fucking get her back.”

Titus ignores Raven’s rant and continues his explanation. “It is worse, Heda.”  
Lexa furrows her brow, “What can be worse than Clarke being captured by Azgeda? The same Azgeda that kidnapped, tortured and beheaded Costia?”

Abby sat down abruptly, face pale at the comparison.  
Titus continued. “Azgeda is restless. Since you killed their queen, they have had internal power struggles. It would seem they blame you for this, Heda.”

“That bitch had it coming.” Raven again interrupts.

Lexa waits patiently for what she knows is more to come. “Say it.” She demands of Titus.

“They have demanded that you prove your command in blood.” Titus looks to ground as he finishes the sentence.  
Lexa registering what has just happened slowly backs up and sits in her commander’s chair.

Kane looks with furrowed eye brows to Lexa for clarification. “Prove your command in blood? What does that even mean? We already have an alliance with all 13 clans.”  
Lexa ignoring the questions and confusion looks back to Titus. “And if I don’t?” Titus slowly shakes his head, implying the answer Lexa is afraid to hear. Both he and Lexa remain silent for what seems like hours when in fact is only seconds.

“Damn it!” Abby stands back up. “Someone tell me what the fuck is going on. This is my daughter for Christ’s sake.”  
Titus turns to Abby and with a very low voice explains the implications. “Azgeda is disgruntled. They are unsatisfied with the transition progress and are taking it out on Lexa. They have a grudge with Lexa and are using this to validate themselves.”

“What the fuck does that mean for my daughter.” Abby now visibly shaking.  
“They have demanded that Lexa prove her command in blood. If she does, they will release Clarke. If she does not,” Titus looks to the floor, “they will kill Clarke.”  
Kane jumps back into the conversation pointing to a weak spot of Azgeda terrain. “Look, they probably haven’t made it back already. We could send some warriors to head them off, here. See, there is a ridge…”

“I’ll do it.” Lexa says quietly.

"Heda, wait, please."  Titus begins to beg of Lexa.  Instead she interrupts and confidently repeats, "I'll do it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone still out there? So happy to finally get back to writing! Hope you enjoy!


	21. Blood in the Balance Part A

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The capital prepares for Lexa’s ceremony where she will attempt to prove her command in blood. Clarke prepares with an unlikely companion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy Smokes! An update within a week! :-) Enjoy.

It has been a week since Clarke’s capture. It is customary that a waiting period exist before any commander proceeds with the ceremony. It is also necessary. The past days consisted of riders sent to all corners of the clans proclaiming the demand from Azgeda, the acceptance from Heda, and the invitation to every member of every clan. Surely there will be a few that will not attend. Those under the age of 10, those on their death beds rendered immovable, and, well, that’s about it.

It has been more than 7 commanders ago that the ceremony had last been completed. It marked the end of that commander’s reign. It very well could mark the end of Lexa’s reign. She would be okay with that conclusion if it meant saving Clarke. Although, Clarke likely still was unaware of what Lexa would soon face.

Lexa stood in her chamber starring in the mirror. She was dressed in a pair of tight black pants and a black tank top with hints of gold throughout. The shirt was made of leather and allowed for much exposure. Her back and arms were basically bare. Only a few straps held the cloth that covered her chest. This exposure would be necessary for the ceremony.

Most people would be scared, nauseous even, but not Lexa. She was anxious. She knew what she faced, but she knew upon completion of this burden, should would free Clarke. And most likely in doing so, would free Clarke of any future burden or risk that Lexa might otherwise cause. She was ready. She has always been ready. There was just one more thing she had to do.

Kane knocked on the door. “Excuse me, Heda.”  
“Yes, Kane.” Lexa spoke softly. “You may enter.”  
Kane slowly opened the door, entered her room and shut the door behind him. “Heda, I was told you asked for me.”

Lexa sat on her couch and motioned for him to follow tapping her hand next to her. Kane quickly sat near her. He looked at her as a father looked at a daughter leaving for an uncertain future. It was only natural for him to continue to try to figure out another way, to try to make it work out for everyone. “Heda, maybe if we could just show Azgeda the electrical grid we are working on for them. We have been able to almost finish the prototype this past week.”  
Lexa raised her hand into the air, extending her long fingers, silencing Kane’s plea. “Shhhh,” was her only response to his plan. “Kane, I asked you here not to try to fix things. This is what must happen. This is what my people have called for and it is my duty to respond.” 

“But Heda, you are so vital to everything we have developed together. You are what holds this alliance together. If, if, if…” Kane begins to stutter.   
It should be Kane trying to soothe Lexa, but instead it is her soft smile that soothes him, breaking his stutter. They share a moment of silence.

“Kane, I asked you here because I need something from you. I need you to continue your role as advisor to the Commander as you have done for me. In doing that I need you to not only think of your people but to think of all people as your people, our people.” 

“Lexa, if I may.” Kane uses the more personal name for the beautiful, compassionate, fearless leader sitting next to him. “You are the Commander. I will always serve you.” Both parties smile at his statement, but then somber at the implication. Quickly filling the silence Kane continues, “Once a Commander, always a Commander. I will ensure your vision persists, Lexa.”

“Thank you.” Lexa responds whole-heartedly. “One more thing. Perhaps a more challenging task.” Lexa clasps her hands together and bites her lower lip, displaying a rare sign of nervousness.   
“Anything, Heda.” Kane reaches over and takes Lexa’s clasped hands, now calming her.  
“Kane, I need you to promise me that you will make sure Clarke does not blame herself. I should have never compromised her by getting involved with her. This is on me. Kane you make sure she knows that.” Lexa pleads. 

Kane exhales loudly. “I will promise you that I will do my best, Heda. I will remind her that you made this choice and would not have it any other way. I can truly attest to that.” He scoffs as he recalls the dozens of potential schemes he proposed during the past week. 

Lexa nods her head in appreciation. She offers him a small smile. “That will be all.” Kane quickly takes the que and leaves. 

Lexa, left with only a couple hours before the onset of the ceremony, walks over to her balcony overlooking the capital. She recalls spending lazy afternoons with Clarke on her couch. She gazes at the walls where she has decorated much of the space with Clarke’s artwork. She smiles to herself as she realizes Clarke will once again be able to look from this perspective. She breathes deeply as she realizes Clarke will once again be able to create new work. The pit of her stomach feels empty with the notion of a future Clarke that she may not be able to enjoy. Her gut aches not of fear, but of jealousy of everyone who will be able to see Clarke’s future work, to see her continued smiles, to feel her love. But this ache, this jealousy is quickly snuffed but Lexa’s devotion to protect Clarke. She stands and returns to her dresser to once again gaze in the mirror.   
****

Clarke, a week into capture and a full day of traveling once again wagon style is exhausted. No one has felt compelled to divulge any information to her. Based on what she observed in the Titus exchange she knows she is basically held captive, perhaps for ransom of some sort. She knows Lexa was made aware of who has her, unless Titus didn’t make it back. But no, she can’t allow herself to think that way. She is hopeful that this new travel will end in Lexa’s arms. This notion is what has gotten her through the past week. Truth be told, it is what gets her through most days regardless.

The wagon slows and then comes to a stop. The men holding her captive gather to the side of the wagon, whispering amongst themselves. A hawk like call shrieks in the background and the group of white-faced men scatter into the tree line. For a split second, Clarke thinks maybe she is being rescued. She turns her head side to side scanning the tapestry around her. A horse in the distance begins to appear. A tall figure with long dark hair is approaching. The adrenaline in Clarke’s gut rushes as she sees what may be Lexa approaching. Just before she yells out to the woman, her eyes catch the white paint. Alas, this was not Lexa. 

An equally confident, well equipment woman with white war paint dismounts her horse next to the wagon. With shifty eyes she introduces herself. “Hello Clarke. I’m Echo of Azgeda, the superior clan. We have much to discuss.” 

If anything, Clarke was at least looking forward to getting some answers, but so much about this woman screamed don’t trust her. Clarke responded with a short snappy comment. “Well, you can start by telling me why the fuck you captured me.”

Echo giggled.   
Clarke now even more irritated, “What, is that funny? Does my circumstance somehow make good comedy in the ‘superior clan’?” Clarke’s face flushes with anger.  
“No.” Echo recovers. “It’s just you are really in no position to be making demands or leading a conversation. I can see what she sees in you.”  
Clarke on the defensive barks back. “You don’t know anything about Lexa. You don’t know me!”  
More giggling from Echo. “Well, I think you are quite wrong about that WanHeda.”  
Clarke quiets and waits for Echo to continue.

“You see, Clarke, I know Lexa quite well. I know how she feels about you. I know that it is her weakness. I know this because I have used that weakness against her in the past. I’m sure she’s told you about Costia.” Echo speaks as if the implied is simply conversation about past lovers, not the gory reality that it actually represented.   
Clarke’s face speaks for her. A deep mixture of inferiority as she recognizes Lexa’s love for Costia alongside fear as she remembers the details she was told about Costia’s death. She musters the courage to speak. “So, you killed Costia?”   
“No. I did not kill her. I actually liked her, but my Queen, she made quick work of her.”   
Clarke quickly responds, “But your Queen is no longer, so why are your people still engaging in such atrocities?”   
“Atrocity? Sky girl, you have no idea. My people have suffered as much as the next, yet we still are last to the table, last to feel anything reciprocated from your precious Heda. She barely allowed us in the alliance and it is only a matter of time before she turns on us.”  
“No.” Clarke shouts in disagreement. “Lexa wouldn’t do that. She is committed to peace.”  
“Poor girl.” Echo seems to be sincere. “Lexa is committed alright, but the alliance is secondary. It is clear in her acceptance of our demands.”

Clarke doesn’t skip a beat before firing off questions. “What do you mean? What demand has she accepted?”  
“You will see soon enough, Clarke. Until then, it is my duty to make sure you are presented in proper form.” Echo reaches for Clarke’s hand.   
Clarke, fearing the worst, retreats her arm immediately.   
“Don’t worry, Clarke. The deal is no good if you are not returned in perfect condition.” Echo taps her own head, “All parts connected.” She chuckles even though Clarke does not agree with the humor. “But seriously, we must cleanse you, feed you, and dress you appropriately for the ceremony. You will be grateful.”

Clarke, starving from the neglected care provided by the previous Azgeda warriors, was willing to go along with Echo. They walk a short distance through the woods and approach a small cabin. No one else was in sight. It was only Echo and Clarke. Clarke wondered more than once if she should try to escape. She figured they were surrounded on some level though, and thought an attempt may put whatever Lexa had agreed to in jeopardy. She trusted Lexa. She knew Lexa would only agree to terms that could work. 

After fixing Clarke a meal of cooked eggs, fresh strawberries and wine she began to boil water. “Sorry there are not too many options for food way out here. If you were closer to my clan center, I would have slaughtered a hog for you myself.” 

Clarke was a little confused about the pride Echo seemed to take in caring for her. “Well, for the hog’s sake, I’m glad we were not close enough.” For the first time, Clarke let her guard down since she had been taken. She wondered if this is what it was like for Costia. Was Echo wooing Costia right up until the moment the Queen took her head? 

With that thought, Clarke tensed back up. “What is the water for?” She motions to the now boiling water on the stove.   
“Your bath. We do not have any other means of heating water here. I am drawing you a bath.” Echo grabs the large pot and begins to walk into the other room where the tub rests.   
“Echo, I am really not feeling like a bath. Can we just get going?” Clarke anxiously asks.  
“No, Clarke. You must bathe. You must dress. You must prepare.” Echo demands.  
“But prepare for what? You haven’t told me anything about this ceremony. What is going to happen?” Clarke asks beginning to sound a bit desperate.  
“It is not for me to tell you, Clarke. Let’s just say you will be happy to have taken the time to prepare yourself.”

Both women quieted after that. They both gave into what supposedly must be. Clarke bathed, dressed in a clean tan gown, beautiful, but functional. She was satisfied that it actually fit her appropriately. Just how well did Echo know her she wondered? Echo handed her one more glass of wine. They each drank their night cap, eyes wide in wonder of things to come.

“We leave at sunset. We are only a short ride from the capital from here. You will soon be free Clarke. I pray you do not forget what it is like to be captured, nor how easily it happened and can happen again.” Echo warns.

At the first hint of sunset Echo and Clarke mount two white horses. Clarke notices that Echo has also taken care of herself. She had somehow managed to clean-up, redress and no-longer wears the traditional white war paint. Rather, she wears a unique mask of make-up on her face. In some ways it reminds her of Lexa’s war paint.   
“We ride side by side. Nothing stupid on your part and we will make it there shortly.” Echo pleas as much as demands from Clarke her cooperation.   
Clarke, eager to see Lexa and to return to the capital doesn’t hesitate to obey the plan.  
****

As the sun sets out of her window, Lexa knows it is time to commence. Just as she opens her door to leave, she finds Abby standing there. “Abby.” She says surprised.  
“Lexa, I’m sorry, I just had to see you.” Abby is clearly nervous. It is a new look for her. She always seemed to handle stress well. Her presence in the O.R., her presence on the advisory board, her presence as a Chancellor have all been stoic. But, then again, her presence as a mother, that has always been her weakness. Perhaps that is something they share, the same someone as a weakness.

Lexa anticipating what she might say interrupts, “Abby, I must go. I have to remain strong. I cannot do this with you now.” She side steps Abby. Abby steps again in front of Lexa, stopping her in her tracks.  
“No, you have to hear this. I want you to know I will be there. I was told you can have a healer near you and it will be me. I want you to know it is me. I also want you to know that I understand what you are doing and even though everyone is trying to talk you out of it, I have to selfishly just say thank you. So thank you, Lexa. Thank you for loving my little girl as much as I do.”

Abby was right, she was the only one that wasn’t trying to talk her out of this decision. But she was also the only other one, other than Lexa, that loved Clarke limitlessly, to no end, always. 

Lexa gave Abby a soft smile. “I am honored to have you by my side Abby.” She gripped Abby’s shoulder and gave her a quick squeeze. Her emotion in a tug a war match between caving into tears and stoically processing forward. She, once again, side steps Abby and makes her way down the hall. She walked calmly and confidently, exuding grace and purpose.

When she stepped outside, she could see the town center had been transformed into an elaborate stadium, much like the arrangement for Pike’s assassination. This was on a much grander scale. It was bitter sweet. Here was an arrangement for all of her people, all 13 clans to unite for one purpose. Fate held its powerful hand in the balance. Was this reunion of all clans to be a bond that unites them indefinitely? Or, was this reunion a means to an end, a means to sever what was and what could have been? As everyone at that moment knew, even Lexa, it was still to be determined which way Fate would have it.


	22. Blood in the Balance Part B

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter has depictions of extreme violence. Lexa attempts to prove her command in blood while Clarke tries to change Fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter is not complete. However, I wanted to post the portion that is done. So here is the middle section. Enjoy :-)

Lexa takes her time walking to the stage set up in the center of Polis for all to see. Her focus is peculiar. She notices the unleveled ground on which she walks, a big rock, a patch of grass surrounded by broken concrete, the breeze as it cools her cheek and a red bird flying against its force. She scans the faces surrounding her. Most are fixed on her, emotions evident. She tried not to gauge their intensions, it would likely only cause her fear and anxiety. She has already made peace with Fate. She is willing to face and accept what will be dealt to her. 

She reaches the stage and ascends the stairs confidently. She joins a few people key to the ceremony. Abby is present as her accompanying healer. Titus is also present as the official administrator. Kane is present in an advisor/coaching role. Two seats are empty, reserved for the challenger and the catalyst. Beyond the seats in the center of the stage is a wooden bed aligned perpendicular to the crowd and slightly tilted from head to foot. The crowd would get a view of the foot of the bed. They would also be able to easily see the contraption that lay beneath. Made of steel, a trough like contraption extended from the foot of the bed to one side. It provided a pathway left from the source to a large wooden barrel. A second barrel sat right of the source, but was not connected to the trough. 

Lexa inspects the arrangement before taking a seat, sitting upright on the wooden bed. By now the sun was low in the horizon. The crowd has thickened and stragglers rush to join. For as many people that are present, the chaos is quite organized. There are designated areas for each clan. Members find their way by identifying their clan symbol displayed on flags held by honored representatives. Trikru occupied the front region, closet to the stage. This was to be expected, as Lexa herself kom Trikru. It was up to her clan to set the tone of the ceremony. The order of the additional clans is not necessarily predetermined, however, noteworthy is the location of Azgeda. Reserved second to last, Azgeda sits. This is also relevant in that it was Echo kom Azgeda that challenged the current Commander. The very last row is reserved for all members of the council as well as training Night Bloods. The 10 year age restriction is waived for any existing Night Blood. 

Just as Lexa finishes her gaze at the crowd, drums bang in the distance. This marks the onset of the ceremony. The crowd parts amazingly organized to provide passage for two white horses adorned with two young women. Echo and Clarke make their way through the masses to the stage. Lexa can’t help but take a deep breath as she sees Clarke dismount and make her way up the stairs. She follows behind Echo. Lexa tried to contain the juxtaposition of emotion created from the face of her challenger alongside Clarke’s.   
Clarke wastes no time and immediately goes up to Lexa. She is so transfixed on Lexa that she overlooks the barbaric set up around her.   
“Lexa.” Clarke expels relief as she lunges into Lexa, wrapping her arms around her. To her surprise, Lexa is not at all bashful in her response. Right there in front of all, she finishes the circled embrace that unites them. She squeezes her arms tightly around Clarke as she squeezes her eyes closed, relishing the touch. She inhales deeply, taking Clarke in, holding her there for what she wished would be eternity.  
Clarke, equally filled with emotion, shuts her eyes, and melts into Lexa’s embrace. Lexa can feel Clarke relax into her. She realizes that Clarke does not know what is about to happen and feels for her. Neither want to break the embrace, but Lexa does so out of need. She pulls back, keeping contact with Clarke’s hands. She focuses on Clarke, eye to eye. 

“Clarke, listen, our fight is not over.” Lexa tries to break the news to Clarke.  
Clarke responds in haste. “Lexa, what is all of this? Can’t we talk this through with Azgeda? I know they are upset about their accommodations, but I think if we…”   
“Shhhh.” Lexa whispers quietly to Clarke, who stops talking. Lexa pauses for a second, looking at a strand of Clarke’s hair that had fallen into her face. With a purposeful motion, Lexa slowly tucks Clarke’s lock behind her ear.   
Clarke is taken by surprise by Lexa’s seemingly informal gesture. Before she can repeat her concerns, she is even more shocked as Lexa pulls Clarke closer. Lexa places her lips upon Clarke’s slightly parted lips. She holds their kiss for only a few moments, but it catalyzed a chain reaction in Clarke’s heart. Something about this contact, here in front of everyone was different. It somehow felt so final. Immediately her stomach flipped from anxiety and confusion to outright fear. Somehow she realized in that moment, in that contact, that Lexa may be in some grave danger.   
Tears, now forming on her cheeks, Clarke pleads for answers, “Lexa?” She can only manage to say her name.   
“I have been challenged to prove my leadership to our people.” Lexa begins to explain to her. “This will be hard for you to watch. But I need you to be strong. Be strong for you, for me, for all of our people. Clarke, I need you to not only let this happen, but to accept it. I need you to accept its result. I need you to understand that this is the only way.”

Clarke, feeling like she has been transported to a different dimension, sits back into the vacant seat on the stage. Still unsure of the details, the big picture is starting to set in. She makes eye contact again with Lexa. She wished for time. Time to be with Lexa alone so she could share her feelings. Time where she could hold Lexa. She just wanted more time. Time where they had the opportunity to share normal experiences, rather than face such calamity. She wished for time, but as Lexa then stood, she realized her time, their time, was up. She remained sitting in the chair as Lexa stood to face the crowd. Clarke’s heart sank as Lexa released her hand and walked towards the crowd. Echo followed her to center stage.

The crowd silenced as Titus began the ceremony. “Fellow clansmen of the 13 clan alliance, we have gathered today in response to a challenge on our beloved Commander.” Titus looked to Lexa. His devotion to her was obvious. “As with everything that she does, Heda will answer the call of the people. She has accepted the challenge.” The crowd erupted into cheer. After they silenced, Titus continued, “The challenge has been presented by Echo kom Azgeda.” 

Clarke’s eyes spit furry on Echo as she steps forward, taking Titus’ place on stage.   
“People of Azgeda,” Echo’s clan erupts into cheer as she represents their cause, “And, people of all clans.” She continues her claim. “It is time to hold this Commander accountable for her failures.” The inconsistencies in the crowd become obvious as both cheering and booing erupt in response. Echo continues, “We have all agreed to her Alliance. We have all complied with her terms. We have all waited for her promises. And yet, from my view in Azgeda, all we see is a love stricken puppy dog infatuated with none worse than a Skaikru girl.”

Clarke’s level of comfort has never been lower. She wants to run out of sight, but instead is frozen. She can barely think, she can barely breathe. She listens as Echo continues her complaint.

“This Commander made a vow to us. To protect us. To support us in our survival. In return we keep the peace. But where is the help for Azgeda? Since our agreement to this alliance more than 2 dozen of my clansmen have died either frozen or famished. I ask you, where is the help for you? If you are not amongst the skaikru favorites, have you even received anything except empty promises? Heda is too occupied with pleasing her infatuation that she allows my people to starve and freeze. She allows those she has vowed to protect instead to die, while she allows WanHeda to share her bed.” Echo’s voice is powerful and her message seemed to gain momentum. This scared Clarke. In all honesty, it scared Lexa too.

“I challenged Heda to prove her command in blood. I ask you to make your choice. Do you continue to give your own blood for her and this alliance, or do you make her bleed for her failures? The people will decide.” Echo looks directly at Lexa, “Have you done enough for your people, Lexa? Or have you sealed your own fate?” 

Echo walks back to her empty seat and sits next to Clarke. Clarke doesn’t know what to think or feel. This woman she just spent the last 24 hours with was now threatening Lexa in the most serious way. She chooses not to look directly at Echo, fearing she may lash out at her. Meanwhile, Titus takes center stage once again. 

“A challenge has been made. Your choice will soon be made. But, first, let us hear from our Commander. Let her atone for herself in words, before blood.” Titus faces Lexa, as he steps aside to allow her passage to center stage.   
Lexa looks into the crowd. She sees familiar faces of her fellow Trikru. She sees familiar faces from the trips she recently made with Raven. She wondered if she made enough connections on those trips. She wondered if she stayed long enough or too long. She wondered if the order in which she visited will play best for her here. Her mind wondered before she regained focus. Once again she focused on the crowd.   
“We stand here today, united in a cause, united in a purpose. True, that cause may not be my first choice. I would much rather be uniting weeks down the road in all of your homes, as some of us have already done. Uniting to celebrate advances in health facilities, electricity capabilities, transportation, communication, harvests of magnitudes we haven’t seen since the Great War; these are the ways I envision the Alliance of the 13 clans to unite. Yet, these things take time. Surely not every clan can come first. Not every member can feel the effects overnight. The effects are sincere. The effects are coming.” 

Lexa speaks truth, yet her voice seems to fall on somewhat deaf ears. To be a true leader, she must give all of herself. She must be transparent. She can sense what some need to hear, what she needs to say, what she wants to confess.

“It is true. I did make a vow to all of you to be your Commander. I vowed to put you first, to support your survival, to create peace. When I made this vow to each of your clans, I firmly believed in my soul that to be able to fulfill this role I must have no distractions, no divisions of my attention or purpose. I believed that for us to survive, our Commander, I, would have to devote everything to accomplish our goals.” 

Lexa paused, turned and looked directly at Clarke before continuing. “But I was wrong.” The crowd gasped. They wondered, was she asking to be killed? Was she committing suicide? She just admitted she was wrong. She has showed weakness and vulnerability. Her closest allies feared for her, her strongest enemies salivated at their chance. Clarke could sense the tension in the air. Her tears were evidence of her emotions breaking as she shook her head slightly, pleading for Lexa to back down, to save herself.

“It is true. I have had my attention split. I have seen things through a different lens. I have fallen in love.” The crowd again gasp at her admission. Clarke’s heart swells as her stomach weakens. 

“But I have not fallen short as your Commander, I have grown. I can see more now than I could when I vowed to you. I can see now that life is about more than just surviving. We deserve more than just survival. You deserve more than just survival. Our people, Trikru, Skikru, Azgeda, all of our people, we deserve more than just survival. I can see that now.” Lexa making eye contact again with Clarke, smiles as relief surly lifts her afloat.  
“And so, I have been challenged. I have accepted the challenge. And so, you will decide. You will decide if you want peace for your children. You will decide if you want love for yourselves. You will decide if our progress is one that you can and want to live with. But you will decide fully aware that I make no excuses or regrets for my transgressions. I will serve all of you as your Commander, but I will also do so with a delegated heart. I reserve a portion of my heart for Clarke kom Skaikru. I cannot deny the impact she has had on me. Love is love.” 

Lexa doesn’t know if it is enough. Had she done enough to please enough people? Had she said enough to draw attention to those things? Has she been honest enough to please the masses? Has she been too honest? Can she be the one to change tradition? Is their tradition one that they even want to keep? In truth, none of it matters. What she is about to face she does guilt-free. For the first time in a long time, if not ever, Lexa feels free. 

With her speech over, she makes her way back to the wooden bed. She pulls her own knife from her sheath alongside her leg and sets it next to her. She lays on her stomach, feet facing the crowd. She focuses on the ground beneath her and the pace of her breathing. She tries not to get nervous, slowing herself down the best that she can.

Titus once again addresses the crowd. “And as it has been and will be, the people will decide. You make your choice in blood. If you agree with Commander Lexa, kom trikru, if you support her dedication and vision, you will demonstrate that in your own blood. Step right, take her knife in hand and provide your gratitude in blood. Your blood will collectively grow in the barrel. If you disagree with Heda, step left, take her knife in hand and make your complaint known. Cut her as debt. But know, with this cut her debt is paid in full. As her blood pays retribution for any grievance, it also will collect here in this barrel to the left. The balance of the decision is in Fate’s hands. Should she survive your debts, and if we bleed more for her than she for us, then she will retain her role as Commander. 

His directions are brief, as most have heard of the process in advance. Most, however, have not actually seen the ceremony first hand. Many past Commanders who were challenged simply killed the challenger, rather than accept. Unfortunately, they were later often assassinated in retaliation. The few who have accepted were not successful in surviving their debt. Lexa knew the facts. But she lay guilt free, waiting to accept whatever the people decide.

Clarke is frozen, sick to her stomach. She doesn’t even know what she can do besides wait. Before she can fully comprehend what is happening, Trikru has already begun the “voting”. As one may suspect, TriKru is overwhelming supportive of Lexa, unanimously, in fact. Each member takes his or her turn approaching Lexa, taking her knife, walking to the front of her table to look her face to face before cutting themselves. Most cut their palms, squeezing her knife tightly around her sharpened blade, they linger as long as they can to allow their “vote”, their sacrifice, to drip collectively into the barrel on the right. Lexa is cautiously optimistic as clansman after clansman bleeds for her. 

Lincoln is the last in line for Trikru. He takes his opportunity to not only support the Commander, but to praise her. “Lexa, Kom Trikru, Heda, more than once you have risk your own life to save mine, to save all of us. Your bravery, your loyalty does not go unseen. There has been no greater Heda, there will be no greater Heda. Long live the Commander.” Lincoln shouts for as many to hear as possible. He then climbs to stand on top of the barrel, one leg on either side. Taking Lexa’s knife he draws a deep gouge in his chest. The line is as wide as the barrel, effectively pouring as much blood as he can before feeling faint. Before falling off of the barrel, Kane lunges alongside him to catch and lower him down. 

Lexa’s heart swells at his gesture. She can’t help but feel gratitude for him, but she, ever wise, remains cautiously optimistic. As it stands, the barrel on the right, those that bleed for Heda sit with a depth of blood as her own barrel of debt remain empty. She knew that score would not hold.

The clans to follow were fairly uneventful. Most made their sacrifice in blood timidly, not as confidently or loyally as Trikru. In fact, the next 4 clans combined did not bleed as much as Trikru. Must of that could be contributed to Lincoln, surely. These were clans nearest Polis, clans that Lexa had been able to visit too. It was when Sankru, the Desert people, began their voting that the momentum began to shift. 

The location of their clan make it such that it would be on the trailing end of Lexa’s trip. Therefore, it was still to come. It had potential, of course. The prospect of solar panels in the desert, the improvement in transportation of food and water, even the potential for creating indoor and underground farming facilities would have been discussed, if the trip had occurred. Or when the trip occurs one might hope. Many Sankru did not know these facts, and fell into Echo’s call. They felt betrayed, second best to Skaikru and many showed it. Still, it was a challenge to actually look Heda in the face, take her own blade and strike a cut on her. Six people from Sankru were able to do it though.   
Any exposed skin was fair game. They had to use Lexa’s own blade and the cut was supposed to be the length of her blade or less. As some found, actually cutting her was more difficult than they thought. Most cuts were not that deep. Most cuts were short of the blade length. She was cut nonetheless. The first cut was by a clansman who lost his daughter to dehydration. It had happened only 4 days prior. His grief and anger surely is what fueled his gull to be the first to cut Heda.   
“This is for my precious daughter. She died waiting for water to arrive. She was only 6 years old.” He did not offer any additional words, but cut Lexa on her back, just over top of her left shoulder blade. The blood, a stark difference from those that had cut themselves, oozed a thick dark black liquid, slowly accumulating then trickling down from her body, through the contraption, collecting into her debt barrel. 

Before the man could leave Lexa shouted for him. “Wait.” Rather than be angry with him, even though he may have changed the tide that could drown her, she asked, “What was her name?” The man stopped and looked at the Commander. She repeated her question, “What was her name, your daughter?”  
The man responded, “Collette.”

Some would cynically assume her question was to try to gain sympathy from future voters, but it was sincere. It was true sometimes death had to occur to make point, such as beheading the ambassador from Azgeda, or the execution of Pike or Gustus. But her endgame is and has always been peace. A child should never be the victim even in a war for peace. Her question and concern was sincere, and for her own sake. 

After this a handful of Collette’s family members also cut Lexa, following suit on her left shoulder. With that, her debt was paid to Sankru. She mentally vowed to make access to water a priority for Sankru. 

A few more clans continued similarly, with almost all cutting themselves, spare a few with typically honest grievances. The same was true for Podakru, the Lake People. Lexa had actually visited this region many times. It is quite beautiful in scenery and company. Having most of the clan finished with their voting, it took most by surprise when suddenly a woman on stage changed everything. 

She was of average height but somewhat disguised in a long hooded coat. She stepped in front of Lexa and hesitated, looking at Lexa’s knife. She did not grab it, instead, she pulled out her own knife. It was a much longer blade. She angrily spit onto Lexa’s body before stabbing Lexa deeply just above her hip. The contact was unexpected as it clearly broke the rules. She gasped for air as the pain was immense. Her blood ran rivers faster than the trickles previous, pooling and draining endlessly. The path of blood flow hard and heavy to the barrel on the left. At this pace, she would either bleed out, or surely loose the balance before the remaining clans could complete the voting.

Those around her could only watch as the action seemed to unravel in slow motion. Titus, was quick to restrain the Podakru woman, while Clarke was quick to run to Lexa’s side. Her instincts were to bandage the wound, but Lexa prevented this from happening.   
“Lexa, this is not fair. She can’t do this to you. This is not a cut. I think she hit your kidney. Mom.” Clarke yells in fear and shock for Abby to come to her aid. “Mom, we have to stop this bleeding, it’s too much.”   
“No, Clarke. It must be. A debt was owed.” Lexa starred the woman from Podakru in the eye, “And a debt was paid.”   
Titus was ready to kill the woman for breaking the set rules when again, Lexa intervened. “Titus, she lives. Even if I don’t, she lives. She has paid her penance ten times over in her loss.” It is then that Titus looks closer at the woman. Her face was new, yet familiar. Her grudge now made sense to him as he released her.   
Clarke, still unclear and very concerned for Lexa ran to Titus. “Titus, this is wrong. She can’t just bring her own knife, she didn’t cut, she stabbed. This is wrong. We have to stop this and help her, this is not what was supposed to happen.”

Meanwhile the line continued, a man stood in front of Lexa. He slowly reached down and took her knife in his hand. He lingered looking at Lexa’s blood oozing out, quickly catching up to the barrel on the right. She didn’t look up, but she could sense his presence. She fully expected to be struck again as forcefully as the last. Instead, she was dealt mercy. 

“Heda, Lexa kom Trikru, you took everything from me. You took my baby.” He watched as her blood continue to drain. He realized at this pace, she would not survive. Continuing more hastily, “My vote is not for me, but for her. She gave you her heart, even if you killed hers. She would not want you to fall. She believed in you, in your vision, in your peace, in your love. I only wish you could have loved her as much as she loved you.”   
Costia’s father then stood over the barrel on the right. He viciously cut himself the length of both arms. His blood drew quickly and with great volume. He stood as long as he could before falling. His injuries would be fatal if not quickly tended to.   
Lexa now breaking the silence called for Abby. “Abby, Abby, you must attend to this.” Abby assumed she meant her back and kidney. “No, Abby, stop his bleeding. He does not deserve to die.”   
“Heda, with all due respect, I need to help you.”   
“No, Abby. Help him first please.” Lexa’s voice grew weaker. Somehow Abby knew should wouldn’t be able to win the argument and ran quickly to his aid, stitching his injuries to prevent further blood loss.

Clarke now realizing what had happened can only begin to cry sitting on the ground next to Lexa as she lay bleeding out. Lexa is surprisingly relaxed and calm. “Clarke, don’t cry Clarke. I’m free. A great debt has been pain in the only way it can be. I am free Clarke.” 

Clarke understands what Lexa is saying. She knew how much the death of Costia weigh on her, but she is more upset about Lexa’s willingness to just give up. She needs to be tended to or she will bleed out.   
“Mom, come back here, we have to fix her now.” Clarke brushes the hair out of Lexa’s face, attempting to comfort her. “I’m gonna fix this. Don’t you give up on me!”   
Lexa turning her head to look at Clarke softly responds. “I’m not. My spirit will live on in the next Commander.”  
Clarke, eyes welling again, “I don’t want the next Commander. I want you.” The words felt like they had been spoken before. Like, in some other dimension she made this plea. She felt a huge weigh enter her chest as the impending loss came into view. Unlike this odd feeling of Déjà vu, she pushed her mind to not accept this reality. She was certain a different Fate could exist. One where Lexa does not die for her people. One where Lexa does not die for her.   
She grabbed Lexa’s hand with her left hand and then breaking the supposed rules, pushed hard on the opening in her back, slowing the bleeding. She spoke with strong conviction, “I’m not gonna let you die!”  
Lexa squeezed Clarke’s hand weakly and responded, “There’s nothing you can do now.”  
Clarke, pushing even harder into Lexa’s wound confronts the challenge. “I don’t accept that!”  
Lexa still breathing, but looking like she is conceding can only smile at Clarke’s devotion. Her smile is broken as an Azgeda member makes another cut on Lexa’s back. Lexa winced in pain.  
“Titus, make them stop, this is not fair. We have to tend to her.” Clarke stands to physically get between the next Azgeda clansman and Lexa. “This ends here.” She grabbed Lexa’s knife and is prepared to battle anyone else who would try to hurt Lexa. She was ready to die trying. She was ready to sacrifice herself to save Lexa. She was ready, and Echo saw it.

Echo slowly approached Clarke. “Clarke, there is another way.”


	23. Blood in the Balance C

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of parts A and B

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter is still not over...but I wanted to post what I had for you.

“Titus, make them stop, this is not fair. We have to tend to her.” Clarke stands to physically get between the next Azgeda clansman and Lexa. “This ends here.” She grabbed Lexa’s knife and is prepared to battle anyone else who would try to hurt Lexa. She was ready to die trying. She was ready to sacrifice herself to save Lexa. She was ready, and Echo saw it.

Echo slowly approached Clarke. “Clarke, there is another way.”

Clarke focused on the next Azgeda warrior marching towards her and Lexa. Echo intercepted the warrior and whispered something in his ear. He turned around and walked back from where he came. He did not totally leave though. It seemed like Echo somehow just put the ceremony on pause. Then she turned back to Clarke and repeated herself, “Clarke, there is another way.”

Clarke, now able to look at her, responded. “What the hell are you talking about?” Her words were angry, vengeful even. It took everything in her will to not charge Echo with Lexa’s knife. 

Echo steps closer to Clarke, “I know a way that you can save Lexa. She doesn’t have to die like this.”

Clarke, not wanting to fall for any kind of trap spits back at Echo. “Bitch. She’s dying because of you. She’s here bleeding because of you. You did this, you bitch.” Her anger is obvious and the crowd seems okay with the delay in the ceremony because the new drama is entertaining.

Before Echo can explain further, Kane and Abby approach Titus. “Titus, clearly this stabbing is not part of the ceremony. It is only fair that Abby be allowed to tend to the stab. Then the ceremony can continue.” Kane tries to speak to reason. 

Titus, of course not wanting to see Lexa fall does agree to this. “You may tend to only the stab wound, you must leave the cuts to bleed for the ceremony to be valid.” Titus informs Abby, who immediately rushes to Lexa’s side. Meanwhile Titus steps forward to address the crowd.  
“The ceremony will resume after an allowed short break. The mother of Costia took it upon herself to break the rules, stabbing Heda well beyond the allowed contact. It is only with Heda’s grace and forgiveness that she still lives.” Titus seemed to provide enough information to calm the crowd which at this point consisted mainly of Azgeda, Skaikru and the remaining night bloods. Those that had previously voted still remained in the city, but were no longer in the immediate vicinity.

Abby now leaning over Lexa is attempting to stitch her back. Lexa, clearly weakening protests. “Abby, no, you must tend to his wounds first.” She would not allow the death of both Costia and her father on her soul.   
“Lexa, I already stitched him up. I can tend to him in greater detail later. You, my dear, need this now. There is no more time to wait.” Abby swiftly begins to seal the hole in Lexa’s back. It is evident that stitches alone will not be enough. The organ beneath is also injured and likely will continue to bleed internally. “Lexa, when this ceremony is over, I will need to redo this in my medical facility. I am trying to do what I can right now to stop the bleeding. I think it will hold for a short time. You just keep a clear head about yourself. You just focus on keeping calm. Take deep, slow breaths.” Abby continued her work as she talked to Lexa.  
Clarke, now standing in front of Lexa, is just trying to take it all in. “Mom, what can I do to help?” She kneels down and places her hands on Lexa’s head. “Just hang in there, baby. We are going to fix this.” She looks at the hole Abby is trying to close, she hears the dripping of Lexa’s blood into the barbaric trough of judgement, and she feels her heart sink. “Mom.” Clarke waits for Abby’s assessment.

“She’s lost a lot of blood already, Clarke.” Abby finally responds, making eye contact with Clarke. Her eyes said it all. Lexa will not survive more cuts. She barely has enough blood to sustain her now. Clarke’s eyes well immediately. Her breathing speeds and she begins to look around searching for a way out. All she can see is a sea of Azgeda clansmen growing impatient. Her focus is broken as Echo grabs her hand.  
“Clarke, there is another way.” Echo repeats one more time. Clarke now desperate decides to hear her out.  
“What way Echo? How can she survive this? You have hundreds of warriors out there that want their piece of her.”   
“That’s just it Clarke. It doesn’t have to be her.” Echo’s words completely confused Clarke. 

“How is that possible? It was made clear to everyone that they are voting for Lexa, they are voting ON Lexa. How can someone else take her place now? And whom?” Clarke pressing for details now feels Titus at her side. His demeanor is clear that he is torn about what Echo has said.

Titus confirms his suspicions with Echo, “Keryon Teina?” His voice is low, as not to allow Lexa to hear his words.   
Echo, nods her head. “Yes. The option for Keryon Teina is indeed valid here.” Echo looks directly at Clarke as she finishes her thought.   
Clarke immediately looks at Titus, “What is Keryon Teina?” Her words were louder and Lexa could hear them.   
“Titus!” Lexa yelled with what little strength she had left. “Titus, you promised me you would protect her. Titus you swore you would protect her.”   
Titus, once again torn, decides his devotion to save Lexa is stronger than his vow to protect Clarke. He turns to Clarke to explain, “Keryon Teina. It is a custom that is rarely observed. It means entwined soul. If Lexa’s soul were entwined with another, the other portion could sit in place for her because in essence it is her.” Titus’ explanation seemed too simple.

Clarke sensing there was more to it than that presses him. “So, you’re saying because Lexa loves me, I can take her place?” 

Titus, looking to the ground before delivering the remaining details, “It is more than love. Farmers love, warriors love, most people can and will experience love. But Keryon Teina, that is something most won’t experience, most won’t even see.”

Clarke continuing to press, “So it’s like a grounder marriage?” Clarke recognized that the grounder tradition for relationships seemed much more open compared to the monogamy expected on the Ark.

Echo now took an opportunity to interject. “It is much more than a marriage Clarke. A marriage is something until death do you part, right?” Clarke simply furrowed her eye brows waiting for more details. Echo continued, “In Keryon Teina, there is no part. It is for all of eternity.” 

Clarke tried to take it all in as Lexa lay an arm’s length away bleeding to death and the crowd grew more impatient. “So you’re saying if I marry Lexa, grounder style, then they will cut me instead of her?” Clarke looks back to Lexa as she says it. Lexa was now unconscious as she would have heard the conversation and has said nothing since her outburst at Titus.

Abby still working on Lexa interjects, “What is the catch here Echo? Why would you go through all of this trouble to try to kill Lexa with this whole challenge just to try to save her? Are you trying to kill her and Clarke in one night?” Abby’s distrust is evident. 

“I can see why it would look that way.” Echo looks to both Abby and Clarke as she explains. “I actually don’t mind Lexa, too much anyways. And, I actually liked Costia. I did not want to see things happen the way that they did. But, there are certain things that Azgeda expects.” Echo continues her monologue. “Immediately after Queen Nia was killed by Lexa, the plots for her assignation started. I know of at least a dozen warriors debating on who should be the one to take her down.”

Clarke now interrupts, “So, you figured it would be you?”

“No.” Echo responded quickly and sternly. “If Lexa falls, we will all be at war. I am over it. I am done bleeding and I want to live in peace.”

“So why all of this, Echo? You say we will be at war if Lexa falls, then why did you do this to her?” Clarke again can’t help her tears.

Echo continues her explanation, “Like I said, dozens are plotting her assassination, Clarke. There is only one thing Azgeda respects more than power, and that’s courage. The only way Lexa can survive Azgeda indefinitely, is if she shows the courage to be cut and the courage to burn.”

“To burn?” Clarke now enraged. “You are not burning her.” 

Titus now intercedes. “She does not mean burn now, Clarke. The thing is, when two people commit to Keryon Teina, their souls are entwined for all of eternity. That has more meaning than words. It means that if one member dies, the other is believed to die immediately after. One cannot exist without the other. It is believed that as the soul of one leaves this world and enters the next, it cannot do so without the other. When they release the soul of the first in our burning ritual, the second will burn as well.”

Before Clarke can response, Echo adds on, “If their souls were truly united keryon teina, they will both perish together and burn together. It is beautiful in belief and practice. But, if they say they united keryon teina, but in reality they have not, the second may not die alongside the first. But, as is expected by our custom, they will still burn together. That is true even if the second has not died.”

“Clarke.” Abby starting to read the writing on the wall is deeply concerned for Clarke. She is afraid being in an emotional state, she may agree to something she is not ready for. “Clarke, wait. This is something we do not know anything about. You can’t consider this.”

Clarke, looking at the unconscious Lexa and the growing impatience of the crowd replies, “I have to consider this Mom.”  
Growing even more concerned, Abby questions Echo further. “Echo, why would this even help? So if Clarke can take Lexa’s place, and IF I can save Lexa afterwards…which is still unclear…what about Clarke? There are hundreds of people here waiting to cut someone. What makes you think Clarke can survive that? And if they do this Keryon Teina thing, only for Clarke to then die by Azgeda’s cuts, then Lexa dies anyway? This just doesn’t add up.” Abby’s concerns seemed well warranted.

Echo explaining what most grounders already knew, “No, you see, that’s just it. Azgeda is not willing to stand by and wait for Lexa to spend time with her lady lover. However, if Lexa were to commit to Keryon Teina, they would find an immense level of respect for both Lexa and Clarke. They will not follow Lexa alone because they have not developed the necessary respect. If Lexa makes this commitment and is willing to burn for it, then they are more likely to believe the commitment she has made to the alliance. This will show that she can be trusted. This is the only way Azgeda will keep peace.”

Clarke tried to digest everything that was said. It was crazy. Yet, somehow it seemed to make sense. Azgeda doesn’t trust that Lexa is capable of keeping her commitment to the Alliance. So, if Lexa can vow a commitment even greater to Clarke, one in which if she were wrong or backed out of in some way meant she might burn alive, then Azgeda would be more likely to believe her commitment to them. 

“So, how does this Keryon Teina work? How do people enter into it? Do they just say they do or is there something more?” Clarke asks.

“Clarke, wait. We need to talk about this for a minute here.” Abby fears she is losing Clarke for good. 

Titus answers Clarke’s question. “There is one more thing than just saying it. You have to receive the mark.”

“What mark?” Clarke eager to know everything she can as quickly as she can.

“The mark of infinity, our sacred symbol. Lexa actually already wears the mark on her neck as she is eternally one with the flame. For her to enter into Keryon Teina, her symbol would be slightly altered. It would represent her eternal place in both the flame as well as entwined with you. That also means you must adorn the same symbol. And when the time comes for you both to pass, you will also be eternal in the flame alongside Heda.”  
Abby, now finished with the temporary stitches in Lexa, stands and approaches Clarke, Echo and Titus. “So let me get this straight. You are going to tattoo her, then allow Azgeda to cut her in place of Lexa. And, if either one doesn’t survive tonight, the other will burn alive?” Abby clearly angered and protective of both Clarke and Lexa, is pissed. “This is fucked up, Clarke. You can’t be considering this. How do we even know that Lexa would agree to this? She isn’t even conscious.”

Kane pulled Abby aside, stopping her from her rant. “Abby, think about it. If this doesn’t happen, Lexa will not survive.”   
“Lexa may not survive anyway, Kane.” Abby clearly defensive.  
“Abby, if this doesn’t happen she will fall for certain. If she falls, this will end in war. Azgeda is already here in Polis. They will likely attack immediately. Look, I know it seems harsh, but really if Clarke doesn’t do this, we all die. If she does do it she can make it. She is strong. You are here to help mend her.” Kane continues to try to convince Abby of the necessity.  
“Marcus, if Lexa dies overnight they will burn Clarke alive. I will not allow that to happen to my daughter. That is worse than a bullet and you know it Marcus.”   
“Abby, you can save Lexa. You have to.” Marcus now holding Abby tightly around each elbow. He whispers to her, “If not, I promise you, Clarke will not burn. Not even if I have to use a bullet myself.” 

Not waiting for Abby and Kane to finish this discussion, Clarke immediately walks back to Lexa lying on the bloodied bed. She knelt on the ground at the foot of the bed so her head was in line with Lexa’s. She placed her hands on Lexa. One brushed the hair off of her back and the other stroked the length of Lexa’s cheek. Clarke whispered softly to Lexa, such that only she would hear, if she could hear.   
“Lexa, Baby, It’s me. I’m here.”   
***  
Lexa lay in a bed of warmth, comforted by the sound of tall grass slowly blowing in the warm summer breeze. The sun soothes her skin and her body feels weightless. She can’t remember ever sleeping so soundly, so worry free, so peacefully.   
“Lexa, Baby. It’s me. I’m here.”  
Lexa woke to the sound of Clarke’s voice, a sound as beautiful as they come. She slowly opened her eyes and took in the scene. Clarke lay next to her, face to face on top the same blanket. They are surrounded by tall flowing grasses and a sun kissed haze. Lexa can’t help but smile. She reaches for Clarke’s hand, which is already entwined in her own. She pulls it to her lips and places a soft kiss on the back of Clarke’s hand.   
“Hi.” Lexa exhales softly through her full smile. “What an amazing afternoon. It is so peaceful. So beautiful.” She makes a second kiss along Clarke’s knuckles.   
Clarke returns the smile with a hint of blush. “Well, aren’t you the charming one today?” She leans into Lexa and kisses her softly. Both girls, looking into each other’s eyes could be lost to the world. Clarke pulls back slightly and brushes a lock out of Lexa’s face. “I wish it could be like this every day Lexa. This is the part of you I love most.” Clarke returns to kiss Lexa again.

This time Lexa breaks the kiss. She places her hand on Clarke’s cheek and holds it there, looking somewhat nervous. Clarke, noticing the change in tone speaks up, “What. What is it Lexa? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Lexa dropping her hand to take Clarke’s hand squeezes hard. “No. It’s just, I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something, and well I’m just not so sure how to do it.”

Clarke smiling at the rare occurrence of nervousness by Lexa tries to calm her nerves, “Hey Babe. You know I’m a free spirit kinda gal. Just hit me with it.” 

Lexa now fully focused continues, “Okay. Well, it’s just the way you make me feel. This, right now, in your arms. We could be floating on a cloud. We could be anywhere, anytime. I mean we could see the world together, what it was like before the Great War. We could see what this world will look like hundreds of years from now. We can see anything, anywhere and experience it together. You can take me to space if you wanted to, Clarke.”

Clarke, all smiles, “Babe, I appreciate the effort, but you don’t have to try any I want to give you the moon type poetry on me. You know I already love you. But I love you being cheesy.” Clarke leans into Lexa to kiss her cheek. Lexa does not respond, so she pulls back quickly. With furrowed brows she asks, “Lexa, what? What’s wrong? I was only teasing.”

“No, Clarke. It isn’t poetry. I mean really, we can really be anywhere, anytime, anyway together.” Clarke, a little confused, allowed Lexa to continue. “We just have to both want it. We just have to both believe it.”   
Clarke bites her tongue between her teeth before saying, “Oh, I want it.” She follows up with a teasing smile. The gesture is enough to ease Lexa’s nerves slightly before continuing.   
“It’s a belief in our culture. Keryon Teina. It means entwined soul.”   
“That sounds beautiful.”   
“It is, when it’s true. The idea is that two souls so destined to be together can’t live without one another. It means they stay united in both life and death. The bond is so entwined, that when one soul is pulled from this life, the other is compelled to join. And as a reward for these souls being so dedicated to one another, they are entwined not just in this life but in every existence beyond. So really, the souls are free to travel anywhere, anytime, anyhow together for all of eternity.”   
Lexa paused for what seemed too long of a period, so Clarke once again spoke, “Keryon Teina. I have never heard anyone speak of it before. So it’s kind of like marriage, but without the separation at death. That is a beautiful notion.”  
“It is more than a notion, Clarke. It is a real thing.” Lexa’s eyes are dilated as she once again clasps Clarke’s hands.  
“Okay.” Clarke didn’t want to unintentionally offend Lexa. “Why don’t people do it? What haven’t I heard of it?” She asked some questions to show her interest.  
Lexa bit her lip, another sign of nervousness. “The thing is, it only works if the souls are really entwined. If people try Keryon Teina, but don’t really belong together, it ends badly.” 

“How so?” Clarke now fully curious.

“Well, in order for the living soul to be freed, the custom is that the dead body must burn. In order for souls to be entwined for all of eternity, they must burn together. The expectation that comes with Keryon Teina, is that both souls agree to burn together. If it is true, if the souls were truly entwined, the death of one will cause the death of the other. Then, burning together is of no concern. Obviously, if the death of one does not cause the death of the other, then they were not truly entwined, but it is our custom to require the second member to fulfill their obligation to the first. They are still burned together even if the second lives.”

“Wow. That is some commitment.” Clarke, hearing the details for the first time takes it all in.   
Lexa remain silent again for several minutes. Her eyes jump back and forth between Clarke’s. Her thumbs rub caressingly across Clarke’s knuckles. Finally she speaks. “We believe the only way souls can continue on into the next life together is through Keryon Teina. Even those that love and stay together until death face a reset if they do not make the commitment.”  
Lexa’s long hair is blowing in the breeze and Clarke reaches over to tuck it behind her ear. “Lexa, you have me now.” She sense’s Lexa’s need to feel comforted and tries to achieve the task. “Baby, I’m here.”   
Lexa smiles, “I know, Clarke. But this,” she runs her hands up and down Clarke’s body, “This,” she points to the perfection that surrounds them, “This, feels like forever.” She continues, “I don’t want to reset, Clarke. I want you, always.”   
Clarke using both hands pulls Lexa’s head to her chest. Lexa can feel Clarke’s heart beating through her chest. “Lexa, I love you. I’ll always be with you.”  
***  
Clarke desperate to wake Lexa to discuss Keryon Teina as a possibility between them, leans over the top of Lexa’s head. Her arms wrap around Lexa, embracing her body.   
“Clarke, be gentle, those stiches are only temporary and not even close to sufficient.” Abby yells from across the stage. Kane had convinced her, for the moment anyway, that there is only one way for everyone to survive. She approaches Clarke and rests her hand on her shoulder. “I know when my baby is hurting. I know you love her Clarke. And, more than that, I know Lexa loves you. I can’t say I understand this Keryon Teina thing, but I know you girls are willing to do anything for each other. Honestly, what I’ve seen you both overcome to this point is rare. I want you to know, I will support your decision, either way. If you love her, I mean really really love her, Clarke, I will back you both. If you aren’t feeling it, then I am willing to fight to get you out of here right now. You are my everything, Clarke, and I’m always in your camp.”  
Clarke sits back up and looks at Abby. “Mom, I can’t let her die. I love her.” Abby just nods back at Clarke.   
“Titus, are you ready to give that tattoo?” Clarke pulls her hair up making room for the mark to be created on her neck.   
Titus, relief in his voice and demeanor, “Yes, WanHeda. I have everything I need. Just lean forward and try to stay still.”

Clarke remained kneeling on the ground at the front of Lexa’s bed. Her hands were now holding Lexa’s as she leaned her head next to her making space for Titus to work. She continued to talk to Lexa, hoping she would regain consciousness.   
***  
Lexa smiled at Clarke’s admission. “I love you too, Clarke. And what I want is to truly always be with you. And what I’m saying is there is a way. It may seem harsh, but our way of Keryon Teina is the way to make life about more than just surviving. It makes life and love unending.”

Clarke wasn’t sure if that was an official question or not. To leave Lexa in suspense a little longer she just started playing with Lexa’s hair. Her hands then wandered to Lexa’s neck and took residence on her neck. She traced the darken skin containing the sacred symbol. Her fingers traced the infinity sign such that her path was unending. 

Lexa smiling realizing what Clarke was doing reaches her hand over to Clarke’s neck. She begins to trace a nonexistent symbol, mimicking the motions that Clarke made on her own neck.  
***  
Clarke withstood the pain of the tattoo quite easily. Her focus was clearly on Lexa. She continues to whisper in her ear. “You know, that tattoo of yours I love so much,” she reaches to Lexa’s neck and traces it with her finger, “looks like I’ll be getting my own.”   
Clarke continues speaking to the still unconscious Lexa. “I hope it is okay with you that we share this tattoo. That we share everything. I can feel in in my bones that this is what you would want despite of the risks. I can feel it that this is what you would want. I just wish I could have known about it sooner. I wish we could have done this on our own terms, not here or like this.”  
Clarke can’t help but drop a few tears as she continues. “Hey, Lex, I need something from you, baby. I need you to wake up. I need you to wake up and tell me that this is what you want. Tell me that you want me, always. That you believe our souls are entwined. Can you do that for me? Can you come back to me, Lex and tell me how you feel?” Clarke places a kiss on Lexa’s cheek.  
“The tattoo is finished.” Titus continues, “All we need now is a confirmation from Heda and Clarke that they agree to Keryon Teina. Then the ceremony will resume.”  
***  
“I think it would look good on you.” Lexa says as she continues tracing Clarke’s neck. “In fact, I’m sure it would look better on you than on me.”   
“Well,” Clarke responds, “I would have to argue about that one.” She smiles back at Lexa, both girls again locking eyes.   
“I know it is crazy, Clarke. But, I have never felt this way before.” Lexa’s tone shifts to quite serious.  
Clarke, rolling her eyes responds, “Never?” Clarke chuckles. “I bet that is what you tell all the ladies. I bet that is what you told Costia.” At first Clarke is joking, but her mention of Costia is sincere. Deep down she feels that perhaps she is only second to Lexa’s lost love, Costia.   
“Clarke.” Lexa attempts to ease any doubt. “Honey, it is true, I loved Costia. But not like this. I have never known a love like this Clarke. I want to share everything with you. I don’t care what anyone thinks. I don’t care about the risks. You are what I want.” Lexa closes her eyes while saying the last line. “I want for nothing if I do not want for us, always.”  
As Lexa opens her eyes she is confused to see Clarke was gone. She lay suspended in the air, alone and cold. “Clarke!” She calls out. The daylight turns dark and she calls again, “Clarke.”  
***  
Clarke, now truly concerned that Lexa will not regain consciousness begins a full heave of tears.   
She tries to tell Lexa one more time, “Lexa, I love you.” But, before she can finish the sentence, she stops, ears in full focus.   
“Clarke.” Lexa’s weak voice was barely audible. “Clarke!” The second call was louder.   
“Lexa, baby, it’s me. I’m here.”   
***  
Lexa scanning her surroundings can see nothing. Before she could call for Clarke again she hears Clarke’s voice. “Lexa, baby, it’s me. I’m here.”  
“I don’t want to lose you, Clarke. I’ve waited too long for this.”  
***  
“Lex, baby, you are not losing me. I won’t accept that.” Clarke is ecstatic Lexa was waking. “Listen, baby I need you to focus on something for me. We don’t have much time.”  
***  
“I need you to focus on me.” Clarke’s voice was becoming clearer to Lexa. The darkness that surrounded her began to lighten. She could make out a figure near her.   
“Clarke, is that you?” She asked the figure approaching her. The light continued to brighten the picture.  
It was Clarke, Lexa could now make her out. She looked as beautiful as ever. Her hair lay on her shoulders with a slight curl. Her eyes were bright and welcoming. She wore a tan gown, modest, but beautiful. It fit her perfectly, enhancing what was already perfect in Lexa’s eyes.  
“Clarke,” Lexa acknowledged her recognition smiling, “You look amazing.” She was a sight that Lexa wanted to memorize. She was an image of perfection that put her mind and emotion at ease.   
Clarke walked right up to Lexa, reaching out for her hand. “Hi, baby. I want to ask you something.”  
“No, Clarke, I need to ask you something.” Lexa interrupts her. “Clarke, kom Skaikru, will you spend forever with me? Will you be my everything? Will you vow Keryon Teina with me?”  
Clarke smiles, “Yes.”  
Lexa smiling back, “Yes? That’s it? That’s all it took? Yes?” Lexa’s heart was pounding, “Yes.” She said to herself, confirming what she heard.  
***  
“Yes.” Lexa now locked eyes with Clarke. “Yes, Clarke, Yes.”   
Clarke paused. She was a little surprised in that she hadn’t even asked Lexa the question. She figured Lexa was confused coming out of her unconsciousness.   
“Lex, Baby. I just need to make sure you know what I need to ask you.”  
“I know Clarke, and Yes. Yes I want you to be my everything. Yes I want you forever. Yes, Clarke, kom Skaikru, I will vow Keryon Teina with you.”


	24. Blood in the Balance part D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke make life changing decisions and complete the ceremony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, but needed to finish this chapter. Couldn't leave them like that any longer :-)

“Lex, Baby. I just need to make sure you know what I need to ask you.”  
“I know Clarke, and Yes. Yes, I want you to be my everything. Yes, I want you forever. Yes, Clarke, kom Skaikru, I will vow Keryon Teina with you.”

Clarke could hear herself take a quick breath, then she exhaled slowly and deeply. She couldn’t help but smile. Her eyes caught Lexa’s. Any fear that Lexa was too out of it to know what was going on or any fear that Lexa would not be willing or able to vow seemed to disappear. Their eyes comforted each other just enough. Just enough to have some hope, some path beyond survival, some future together. 

“Oh, Lex.” Clarke leaned into the exhausted Lexa to kiss her on the lips. She pressed firmly. When she released she could hear Lexa’s weak voice.  
“I love you, Clarke.”  
Now dripping tears onto Lexa, Clarke replied, “I love you.” 

Their exchange was cut short by Titus. “Excuse me Heda, I must adjust your tattoo on your neck for the vow to be complete.”

Lexa brushed her hair fully to the side to make room for Titus to make a minor adjustment to the existing tattoo. Once completed, it would be identical to what Clarke already adorned on her own neck. 

Abby also interrupting what was otherwise a tragically romantic moment spoke up, “Titus, this had better be fast. Also, once this is complete, can I take Lexa to my medical facility? She needs to be attended to STAT.”

“Yes, once the ceremony is complete and Clarke agrees to take the burden for Lexa, she is free to go wherever she chooses. But…” Titus hesitates.

“But what Titus?” Clarke interjects.  
“But I’m not going anywhere without you.” Lexa finishes what Titus already knew. He quickly went to work on Lexa’s neck.  
Clarke’s instincts were to argue with Lexa. She knew the medical urgency that faced Lexa, but she could also feel something new. She could feel an understanding in Lexa that was at best hazy before. The connection between them was crystal clear to her now. Clarke should probably feel fear, anxiety, nausea, uncertainty; but what she felt was comfort. She wasn’t sure she quite understood how, but she believed the vow she had just made with Lexa was at play. Lexa was right, she wouldn’t go anywhere without her now, especially when Clarke would be needing her as much as this.

As soon as Titus finished the adjustments, Clarke didn’t waste any more time. She walked around to the side of the bench. She slowly helped Lexa move over yielding just enough space for Clarke to lay beside her. She laid down beside her such that they were both on their bellies, heads facing one another. Clarke’s left hand grasp Lexa’s right. 

“We are gonna beat this Lexa. We are gonna make it.” Clarke spoke to Lexa as she lay looking into her eyes. 

Lexa smiled back at Clarke. Even if she wasn’t sure of the outcome, she was elated. She already knew from her experiences with the past commanders that her beliefs were true. She had complete confidence in her vow of Keryon Teina. Her smile was just as much for their future in the next few hours, as it was into infinity.  
“I know Clarke.” Lexa once again smiled, but her energy was fading fast. She tried with what little strength she had left to squeeze Clarke’s hand. “You look beautiful, Clarke.” 

Something about the way Lexa said beautiful triggered a series of thoughts in Clarke’s head. She suddenly was grateful that she took such care in her preparations. Either this will be the last night she has with Lexa, or this has marked her eternity with Lexa. Either way, she is grateful she has put some thought into herself for that moment. She couldn’t help but think, was this Echo’s intension all along? Her anger and frustration for Echo was still very much present, but there was a crack forming. Perhaps, just maybe, this was the only way Azgeda would ever respect Lexa, or respect her for that matter. Even so, she wasn’t sure she was willing to let Echo off that easily. She needed to get past this point to have time to fully digest the gravity of what has just happened, what was about to happen. She wanted it to be done.  
“Let’s get this over with.” Clarke yelled from the bench.

Titus made his way back to the center of the stage to inform the remaining clans of the circumstance.  
“We will shortly resume the ceremony until it is fully completed. But, it is with my great honor and privilege that I update you on the circumstances surrounding your vote. Our glorious, loyal Commander has sworn the sacred vow of Keryon Teina to Clarke, kom Skaikru. It is true, her loyalty and commitment are second to none. It is now your choice to show your loyalty back in your own blood, or if you must make a vote against her, it will be done on the back of her vowed partner: Clarke, kom Skaikru.”

Lexa squeezed Clarke’s hand once more as Titus finished his statement. “I’m so sorry, Clarke.”  
“Don’t be. They are our people. We will earn this in blood, together. We will fight this in sacrifice, together. We will survive or die, together. We were both born for this, Lexa. You told me that.” Clarke pulled Lexa’s hand to her lips and kissed her briefly. “And, now I believe it.” 

Lexa closed her eyes and breathed deeply as Clarke kissed her hand. She opened them quickly as she suddenly felt Clarke squeeze back firmly. The ceremony had resumed. The first Azgeda warrior made a deep mark across Clarke’s right shoulder. Clarke, trying to stay strong only breathed heavily in response. She could hardly catch her breath before the next members also cut her shoulder parallel to the first cut. This time she whimpered as the pain was compounded. 

Lexa felt sick to her stomach, completely unable to help Clarke. All she could do was be present for her, to hold her hand, to whisper words of support. But her hope was slipping as she realized every member of Azgeda had chosen to cut Clarke. She had already worn 12 cuts along her back and side. Clarke was physically shaking and seemed to be muttering words that Lexa could not understand. Something inside her made her feel like she needed to prepare Clarke for what might be their Fate. 

“Clarke, can you hear me, Clarke? I’m here with you. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be with you, Clarke. Right here, baby.” Lexa squeezed Clarke’s hand hoping for a physical response. 

Clarke responded by opening her eyes. They were swollen with tears and pain. “We wanted to give them peace, Lexa.”

Lexa reaching over to wipe Clarke’s eyes responded, “I know Clarke. We will be at peace and perhaps that will bring them peace. It ends this way whether it’s today or 100 years from now. It ends like this.” Lexa squeezes Clarke’s hand once more and smiles at her. “It ends with us together, in peace, for all eternity. Don’t be afraid Clarke, death is not the end.”

Before Clarke can respond to Lexa she notices the next in line to take the knife. It was a face that had grown very newly familiar. She took the knife and rather than strike Clarke yet again, she walked straight to the barrel on the right. She climbed on top for all to see and hear her.

“Who here is ready for a change?” The remaining angry Azgeda army roars. “Who here is ready to be respected like you deserve to be? Who here is ready to live your life on your own terms not dictated by war and constant sacrifice? Who here wants to see their daughters have their own daughters? Who here wants to feel love more than hate, to feel freedom instead of burden, to live in peace instead of fear? Who is ready for this change?”

Echo continued her plea to her people. “We have not seen these things because we have been led astray. Queen Nia lived for war. She lived for blood. For too long that is all we have known. We will never know peace if we cannot follow peace. We can never expect loyalty and alliance if we cannot recognize it when it is true.” Echo points to the pair laying and bleeding together on the bench in the center of the stage.

“This, this is loyalty. This is trust. This can be our peace. They bleed for each other as they fight for our peace. They bleed for us! We bleed for them. We bleed for us. We bleed for peace.” Echo then cut her shoulder bleeding heavily into the barrel. She wasn’t sure if it would be enough to convince her clansmen. Although, she did strategically encourage those that wanted to assassinate Heda to go first. That way, they were less likely to affect any future momentum. It was all she could do, given her position, given her birthright. She bled as long as she could handle before waving the next member to the barrel. She never returned the blade to the bench. She thought the momentum of keeping it near the right barrel would be helpful. It was. 

Clarke would be lying if she said she wasn’t grateful to Echo for the speech. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t relieved that she would only face 12 cuts that evening. She would be lying if she said it was a mistake. She lay there looking at Lexa as clansmen after clansmen cut themselves to show their loyalty to Lexa, to her. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t worried about Lexa. She could see the life draining out of her as the time dragged on. 

“Lexa, it’s over honey. They all voted. It’s over.” Clarke excited that they actually pulled it off. “Honey, we did it.” Clarke squeezed Lexa’s hand, but she did not respond. “Lexa. Lex.” It was like as soon as Lexa knew Clarke was okay, she let go. She released and was no longer conscious. It was really a miracle she was conscious as long as she was. Even she was human. 

“Mom.” Clarke tried to sit up to get Abby’s aid. Abby was already by her side before she could sit up. “No, no Clarke. You just stay right here. I will have you carried to the medical facility. They will temp you and I will stitch you later.”

“Mom, but Lex…”

“Clarke, she is unconscious and potentially in arrest. I have to rush her into surgery, right now. I need you to be strong and know that I will do everything I can for her. I will have Marcus and Titus by your side. Nothing is going to happen to you, do you understand me, nothing.” 

Lexa was already being taken away before Clarke could respond. She hadn’t even considered what her own Fate might be if Lexa did not survive the night. All she could think about was Lexa. She could still hear her voice, as if she was speaking right next to her, “I’ll always be with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a few chapters to go. Any requests to fit in before the end message me or BLW 3315 on twitter.
> 
> Also was considering sequel that plays into lighter Clexa topics. More fun less angst type stuff. If you are interested in something like this let me know. If you have any requests also message me.
> 
> Thanks for sticking with this fic.


End file.
